Freedom Friday: Everyone DOES NOT Speak Your Language

Transcript

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Hello, hello, hello everybody, and welcome once again to the Unlearned Podcast.

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I'm your host, ruth Abigail, aka RA, and this is Freedom Friday, where I come and share something that I may have unlearned recently and how it has made us and made me just a little bit more free.

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Hopefully it can relate to you All, right?

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So, um, I so funny story I recently I've been playing a lot of music recently so I had a friend I have a friend who is involved in music and she helps to plan different things and I told her we did a gig one time and I said, hey, it's been a while since I've kind of exercised this gift.

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I would love to keep doing it.

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Just keep me in mind for stuff.

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I feel like I have a little bit more flexibility and some time and some mental space to put some more into playing music.

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So I said I'd love to have some more opportunities.

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So she said, okay, cool, and so maybe about a month later she said, hey, do you want to play at this youth camp?

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So played at this youth camp for a week.

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And right after that I had another friend who is releasing an EP, has already released an EP Shout out to Savannah Brister released an EP called Fix it.

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Y'all download it on all the different platforms Spotify, apple Music.

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She's on YouTube.

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She has an incredible voice.

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The girl is bad, but she asked me to play at a worship concert night that she was having that was showcasing some of her original pieces, and she wanted me to participate and so I said, cool.

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So in a span of a week I played for five days straight and had to learn up to 23, 22 or 23 songs.

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Now I have I play the piano for those of you that don't know and it really has been a while since I've done that much music.

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And it's funny because they're like, yeah, this is what you asked for and it just kind of came all at one time.

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Well, me being me right, like I, I got a lot of other things going on, right, I have, you know, angel Street and we have the podcast and you know I have to learn this music.

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So I I've been out of town for a little bit so I didn't really have as much time as I wanted to have to really prepare.

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So I was kind of preparing during the week of the of the performances, and so I was.

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I needed to.

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There was a song that I needed some help with, and so I texted a musician friend of mine.

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I said hey, man, I need a little help hearing, hearing the right progression to this song.

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You might help me.

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I actually test two of my friends who are professional musicians.

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That's just all they do.

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They do this all the time.

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And so I was like man, I hope they really get back to me.

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He got back within the next 10 to 15 minutes and if you're a musician then you understand that music is a language.

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So I said I need the baseline to this song That'll help me understand what the chord progression is.

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So he sent me a bunch of numbers and some abbreviations right One, four, two, two, four, m-i-n.

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You know things like this.

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If you were not a musician, you would have absolutely no idea what he.

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You wouldn't know how to interpret what he said.

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Music is a language.

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You learn the musical language.

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You can pretty much communicate with any musician.

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And so I reflected on that.

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I went and after that I told my husband.

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I said man, I love the fact that music is a language.

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I think it's the coolest thing in the world that I could text somebody who understands the language and I could ask a question and they respond to me in a way that I know I understand that maybe people who don't speak that language would never understand.

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And then it made me kind of think.

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You know, one thing that I think is so important to unlearn is that freedom is a language that everyone doesn't understand.

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Just like music is a language everybody's not going to understand, freedom is a language everybody won't understand.

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Freedom is a language you speak, the language of freedom, and so when you're in this unlearning process and you're beginning to change your mind about certain things, you are also inheriting a new language, and one thing that's necessary to unlearn in that process is that everybody's going to understand you, because they won't, because everyone doesn't speak that language.

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So I think when you are in this process of unlearning, there are three really important things that are necessary in order to help you move forward and move through this process and do it in a way that is more encouraging than discouraging, because everybody doesn't speak your language.

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The first thing is you want to make connections with people of like-mindedness.

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I had access to a person who knew the same language as me, so I said, hey, I need help, I need help with this, and if I have this craft and I don't surround myself with other people in that community, it gets really lonely and I don't have the resources I need to grow.

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So you have to make connections with people of like-mindedness, somebody I have recently really come to appreciate, a leader in the financial space.

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His name is John Hope Bryant.

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He says if you're around nine broke people, you'll be the 10th.

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If you're around nine rich people, you'll be the 10th.

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Right?

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I add to that if you're around nine trapped people, you'll be the 10th, and if you're around nine free people, you'll be the 10th.

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The reality is, you will be like the people around you.

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If you say that you're unlearning and that you want to be more free, but yet the rest of the people around you are comfortable living trapped in their current fixed mindset, you're not going to get free.

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You're not going to get free because they won't understand the language, so you'll have to revert back to their language, which won't help you, right?

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So you have to find people and make connections with people who have your same language, who understand the language of freedom.

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The second thing is this one of my, this is the one that I feel like might be my favorite.

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You have to get access to people who know more than you do.

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You have to get and keep access to people who know more than you do.

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I, I texted my my friends who were musicians, who did this every day.

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I don't do music every day.

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I have the gift of music, I'm a musician, I do it, but I don't do it every day.

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I don't do it professionally at that level, but I have access to people who do.

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So when I need help, I go to the people who do it every day.

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I go to the people who are better at it than me, who are more experienced at it than me and who can do it.

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Let me humble myself and say, hey, even though they might see this as like really easy, in this moment I don't and I need help.

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So let me make a phone call, let me shoot a text and say, hey, can you help me with this?

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And it took.

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It didn't even take.

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It didn't take 10 minutes for him to get back to me, which probably took about two to three minutes for him to figure it out, where it would have taken me probably 45 to an hour.

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So get access to people who know more than you If you're on this freedom journey and you're unlearning and you're trying to change your mind about things, you're trying to get more courageous about that.

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Don't be afraid to ask other people who are down the line to help you to say how do I, can you just, can you just be my cheat code?

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Because sometimes you need someone to be a cheat code.

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Some things you don't have to don't have to take as long.

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If you have the right, if they have access to the right people and if you use that access in the best way.

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Right, you can have access, but never make the phone call.

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What good is the access?

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Right?

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You're continuing to do things on your own when you really could use help and get there faster and get there faster.

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So you wanna get access to people who know more than you.

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And it takes humbling, humble yourself.

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You don't know everything on this journey, and that's okay.

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There are people around you that want to help and that it takes nothing for them to do.

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So why not ask right?

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So get access to the people that know more than you.

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And in that same vein, the third thing is don't be afraid to ask questions to which you think you should know the answer just because you speak the same language.

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So, going back to my experience with music, there was a part of me that was like man, I really should be able to know how to do this.

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It really shouldn't be hard.

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I know it's pretty simple, I can hear what it is.

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I'm just not confident and I had to.

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I had to, in that moment, encourage myself to know to say hey, first of all, it's been a while since you've done it Like, let's be honest, it's been a while since you've you've exercised this particular gift, so you're a little out of practice.

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But but also, it's not something that you do all the time and it's not something you do as much as other people.

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And so there's why would you know more, right?

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Just because we speak the same language doesn't mean we're on the same level.

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I, just because we speak the same language doesn't mean we're on the same level.

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So I can't be afraid.

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You can't be afraid to ask questions that you think you should know the answer to.

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It's okay.

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There are levels to everything.

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There are questions that you're going to ask people and there are people that are going to ask you questions because you're on different levels, and there's absolutely nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with that.

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So this is.

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I think those are three things that are so important, because the reality is there are going to be people around you that aren't going to understand the way you think or how you live, the way you live, or they're not going to understand your the language of freedom.

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They're not going to understand why you aren't at work all day and night.

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They're not going to understand why you don't want to be at work all day and night.

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They're not going to understand why you refuse to be miserable at your job.

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They're not going to understand why you are choosing sometimes to make less than what you're quote unquote worth, because you are choosing to do something you enjoy instead.

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They're not always going to understand the language of freedom, so they're not always going to understand the choices that you make, and so sometimes that can be discouraging.

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I was talking to a younger leader the other day and we were talking a little bit about like hey, this is my dream and really wants to be in the nonprofit space and wants to start her own business, and just like is going for the gold, which is amazing and I love it, and she's honestly one of the most she has, one of the most clear visions I've heard in a while of somebody who was kind of just kind of starting out in this space, and I felt the need to encourage her to say hey, what you're going after is amazing, and you're going to have more people around you that will discourage it than will encourage it, because they're not going to understand the sacrifices you're going to have to make to get there.

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But whatever you do, don't pay attention to people who are on a different path, because you don't want them to veer you into a direction that they feel is best, because they don't fully understand where you're going.

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There are going to be times when you're going to have to make less than you make.

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You're going to have to work for free.

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You're going to be times when you're going to have to make less than you make.

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You're going to have to work for free.

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You're going to have to be the baby in the room for longer than you want to.

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There are going to be times where your ideas are not going to be put on the table.

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Your opinions are not going to be heard as much because you're new and because it's a time to learn.

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You're going to be in a learning process longer than you may have to, so that you can make the right connections and have the right experience for when the time does come for you to hit go for you to pull the trigger on the idea.

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There are things that people who are pursuing a different level of freedom are willing to endure longer than people who are okay with being where they are.

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So understanding that is necessary as you're on this journey.

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It's not going to always.

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You're not going to always have that same encouragement because people aren't going to speak your language.

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So what's some of the language that that I think is um indicative of certain levels of freedom or not, or freedom versus being trapped and being in bondage, right?

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So you know, I I like to liken it fixed and growth mindset.

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A fixed mindset is saying this is the way it's always going to be.

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If you hear people around you use terms like always and never a lot, or they say things like that's just the way, it is right, that is a fixed mindset.

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That is a mindset that's trapped and it's not free and they don't speak your language.

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If you find yourself people with a growth mindset, right, that say things more like I'm working on this or I have an idea I want to share with you.

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Or what do you think about this?

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Or I'm looking forward to when that's a growth mindset, because your language is saying today won't be the same as tomorrow, and that is the way.

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That's the kind of language and those are the types of people you need to be around in order to make sure that you're continuing to grow towards freedom.

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You got to have people that speak the same language, man, like it's.

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It's crucial, and so, if you so just take an inventory of the people that are around and the types of words that they say to, so that you can see my current community Are we speaking the same language or is it?

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Do I need to do I?

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Is it time for me to to maybe shift and and and see if there are different people who speak my, speak, the language that I'm trying to move towards, and maybe I need to distance myself from people who are speaking a different language because, again, if, if you're around nine trapped people who speak fixed mindset language, you will be the 10th, but if you're around people with growth mindset that speak the language of freedom, if you're around nine of those people, you gonna be free, and so Take inventory.

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You going to be free, and so take inventory.

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See where you're around and unlearn the fact that everybody speaks your language.

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And unlearn the fact that just because you're trying to be free, everybody else wants to as well.

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That's not necessarily the case.

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All right, bet that's it, guys.

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We will be back next week with another Freedom Friday.

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Be sure to tune in to our season finale If you haven't checked it out our season finale of the talks with middle adults segment.

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It's really cool.

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We have a great time, great conversation with some really special guests.

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So we are we're really excited about that.

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And tune in for our dropping the unlearning entrepreneurship series, which is coming up soon.

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And, man, keep liking and sharing and commenting.

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We love to engage with you.

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This is so much fun and you guys are amazing.

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So thank you.

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Thank you for watching and for engaging, for sharing, for telling us what it is that you love about the podcast and even what we can do better and how we can serve you better.

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We love speaking the language of freedom.

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We want to make sure everybody continues to do that and can learn how to do that.

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So let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom.

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We'll see you next week, peace.

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Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

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We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

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Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

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We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

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See you then.

Freedom Friday: Everyone DOES NOT Speak Your Language

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