Nov. 8, 2024
Freedom Friday: Getting Honest About What Your REAL Commitments!
Ever wondered why your resolutions fall flat while other habits stick like glue? Join me as I unravel my personal journey of redefining exercise, embracing the simple yet powerful act of morning walks. This shift unmasked the essential dance between internal commitment and external consistency. Through reflecting on our daily habits—how we allocate time, resources, and nurture relationships—we gain clarity on our true commitments. By aligning our actions with our intentions, we pave the way for a life of authenticity and fulfillment.
Chapters
00:09 - Unlearning Commitment and Consistency
09:22 - Building the Unlearning Community
Transcript
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hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.
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I'm your host with abigail aka ra, and this is freedom friday, where we come and share something we've unlearned recently and how it has made us just a little bit more free.
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So recently I started back exercising.
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Now, for those of you that are wondering, exercising for me is not going to the gym, it's not running, it is not lifting weights.
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Currently, it is not playing sports, although I'm not opposed to that.
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Exercising for me is getting up and walking.
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All right, that's what I do.
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I get up and I walk in the morning, I get up early and I walk.
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I don't like like I don't.
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I don't speed walk, I don't jog, I'm not it, I just walk Right.
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Walk, I don't jog, I'm not, I just walk Right.
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And for me it's become a game changer of how I start my day.
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So I started doing this a few weeks ago actually, while I was out of town and I would get up early before I was at a conference, before the sessions would start, and I would just get up and walk just to get my blood flowing and all that stuff.
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And some of y'all are like you know what that's way to go Whoop, whoop, like, well, you know that's great, you know that's that's like basic, it is basic, it's really basic.
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I am a basic worker, outer.
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That's just what I do.
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You know what I'm saying.
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Like, I'm not every morning, you know.
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I know people that are in the gym.
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You know I have a producer, joy, you know she does.
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She goes to the gym every day and she runs.
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She just finished a 5K and so you know there are y'all out there, and then there are those of us that walk.
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For me, walking has become something I've been committed to.
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We use that word a lot commitment.
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Commitment is a strong word, right, and it's a word that often I think we use but we don't really mean because we don't.
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There's no evidence of, there's no evidence of commitment.
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One of the things that we have to unlearn is that being committed to something, commitment is an internal decision.
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Consistency is the external fulfillment of that decision.
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Right, commitment is an internal decision.
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You make a decision to do something.
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I make a decision to get up in the morning and walk every day, except when it rains.
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I'm not going to walk in the rain Like it just rained.
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I'm not, I'm not doing that.
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But if it's not raining, right, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna walk, or if I'm sick, like, I'm not going to do it if I'm sick.
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So if I'm sick and it's uh or it's raining, I, I, I I'm not, I'm not finna, do it Right.
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Okay, all right.
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So we'll get that out the way Right.
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As long as I'm feeling good and it's and it's not raining outside, I'm out there.
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So I made a commitment.
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How does somebody know, how do I know, that that commitment is actually a commitment?
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I know because of my consistency.
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I don't miss, I get up and I go.
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Commitment has nothing to do with how you feel.
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Commitment has nothing to do with your attitude about it.
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Commitment has has nothing to do with uh, with with with you consistently saying you're doing something.
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Commitment has everything to do with consistency.
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I know you're committed, you know you're committed.
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I know I'm committed when I'm consistent.
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So if you see somebody being consistent in something, it means they've made a decision internally to do that thing right.
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Some people are consistent in cooking at home.
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That means they've made an internal commitment to do it.
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Some people are consistent with never cooking at home.
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That means they've made an internal decision already.
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I just don't cook at home.
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I'm not cooking, I'm eating out.
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Right, some people have made, some people are consistent in the way that they talk to people, positively or negatively.
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If somebody is talking a certain way positively, that means they've made an internal choices already before they started doing it.
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They've made a commitment that positive things are going to come out of their mouth.
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If somebody is consistent in negative talk, whether they admit it or not, that means that they've made a commitment internally to think negatively and so it comes out consistently negative talk.
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So you can tell what people are committed to.
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You can tell what you are really committed to because of the consistency of your behavior.
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If you consistently people that know me know if I'm going to a fast food restaurant, I am consistently going to Chick-fil-A.
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What does that mean?
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I am committed to Chick-fil-A, whether, whether I want to, whether because my, my, my actions show I am committed to no other fast food restaurant, because every time I choose to go to a fast food restaurant it's gonna be Chick-fil-a.
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So what, what, what we have to, what we have to begin to unlearn?
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I think it's two things again.
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Number one we have to unlearn that, uh, saying you're something doesn't make you it.
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That doesn't make you it.
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That doesn't make you it right.
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We have to unlearn that commitment is external.
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Commitment is not external.
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Commitment is internal.
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It starts here.
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Consistency is external.
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It plays out in your everyday, but it starts here, and once that commitment has been solidified, you're consistent.
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The other thing we have to unlearn is to stop lying to ourselves about what we're actually committed to.
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You know what you're committed to by what's consistent in your life.
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So what?
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What are the consistent things?
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What do you consistently spend your money on?
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Whatever that is, that's what you're committed to.
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Who do you consistently talk to?
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Whoever that is, you're committed to that person.
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Who do you consistently listen to?
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Whatever it is, you're committed to that thing.
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What do you consistently do when you're coping?
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Whatever that is, you've made a commitment to do thing.
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What do you consistently do when you're coping?
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Whatever that is, you've made a commitment to do it.
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And so, in order, if there's something that you're committed to that you don't want to be committed to anymore, then you have to make a different decision, not just to say I'm not committed, but to change the behavior.
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That is of consistency.
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If you don't want to continue to be committed to eating out, then you have to first internally say what it is that you're trying to be committed to.
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I want to cook at home several times a week.
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Three committed to.
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I want to cook at home several times a week.
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Three times a week I want to cook at home.
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If the first opportunity you get to cook at home you choose to eat out, what that tells me is you didn't really make that commitment.
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There's no commitment, not yet.
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And I'm not saying commitment happens like that, but it can like that, but it can.
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It can you have to decide and what I like?
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I like this, the definition I've heard of a decision.
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You literally have to split off from any other choice.
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Right, you decide, it's a you, you, you cut off any other option.
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This is it.
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I made a decision, I made a commitment and this is what it is.
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And so your behavior then after that will show whether or not that's real.
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And so let's unlearn that.
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Let's unlearn what we're actually committed to, stop lying to ourselves and look at what our behavior says and look at what our consistent behavior says, and then trace that back to a commitment.
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And then, if we need to unravel that, then we need to be honest and say, okay, if I'm gonna be committed to something different, it's not just if it's truly up here.
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It'll show up out here.
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All right, bet that's it.
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Uh, I hope that was helpful.
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Uh, stay tuned for more Freedom Fridays and also make sure that you're checking out our uh series.
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It's on unlearning personality and we have some other fun things uh, over the holiday season that's coming up we're excited about.
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So, uh, let's, uh, let's, let's do that.
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Make sure to like, share, comment If this stuff is helpful to you.
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If it is, uh, if it, if it's something that you feel like other people should hear, man, share it, right.
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Uh, send them a link.
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Uh, text them the link to the to tell them to download it, tell them to follow the show so that they can become a part of the unlearning community, like you are.
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All right, cool.
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So that is it, and I will see y'all next week.
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Let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom, peace.
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Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.
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We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.
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Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.
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We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.
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See you then.
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