Freedom Friday: Journey to Self Control and Inner Fulfillment Through Fitness with Joy Speaks

Hello everybody and welcome once again to the Unlearned podcast. I am your host, ruth Abigail aka Ra, and this is Freedom Friday, where me, or me and a friend of mine, come and share something we've unlearned recently and how it is making us more free. And I have one of my road dogs, my one of my best friends man, with me. This is Joy Laina. We call her Joy speaks. What up, joy?

Hi, thank you for having me, even though this is very awkward for me right now.

Alright, so like Joy really hates public speaking so much she's like I don't even know why I'm doing this. She tried to get her brother to take her place last minute, that's terrible.

So much better at public speaking. Even though my last name is speaks, I don't want to do it.

I don't, that is ironic, dude. Like yeah, that's ironic, but you have so much good stuff to say, so I thank you for taking the challenge. I am excited. Okay, so tell, alright, joy, we've known each other. For I don't want to say the numbers. Double digits, double digits, that's good we went to school together in college, yes, yes, college. Joy is a doctor, although she's not going to tell you that I call her doctor because she wears a white coat In my head. That's a doctor, but what do you do, joy?

I am a pharmacist, so I'm a clinical pharmacist. I help my patients. I work with inpatient and outpatient, so I see patients, I prescribe medication, I talk to them about different things that are happening in their lives and we try to get them to be a healthier version of themselves. So you're a doctor, I am a pharmacist.

Okay, got it, you're a doctor, great, okay, so no, but like Joy is one of my smart friends, I'm the one of the group who is not as not as degreed Y'all, degreed boy, that's so not true.

She was the one double majoring in undergrad we're always like one major will do.

No, but like I love it, because whenever Joy and I talk, I just know nothing about your world, nothing, and so it is always so fascinating. So, speaking of knowing nothing about your world, there is a world that you have dived into and that I also know nothing about and have no desire to, quite honestly, and that is the world of working out. You go to the gym every day.

I am on my not every day, but I am on my fit and wellness journey right now.

Yes, yeah, yeah. So all right. So this is the goal, right? I hate working and I know like news resolutions and last Freedom Friday talked a little bit about the idea of unlearning what that might mean and not focusing on things you always have to fix, but focusing on things that you're already good at. Well, we're not doing that for me today. I suck at this. I'm horrible and I don't like but a lot of people first of the year, I'm getting back in the gym, I'm going to get fit, I'm doing all this stuff, cool, and then most people drop out about about now, it's about done.

About now that third week in January, people it's already slacking off Like ah, go next week so, but you have been on this journey for how long? I started like late August, so a few months now. A few months now, that's very impressive. Yeah, been trying to get there, okay.

so, joy, your goal in this conversation is to inspire me to go to the to work out. I go into the gym. I'm not, I'm not.

I was like and it doesn't have to be that like for me it's going to the gym and figuring it out and working out, but I mean for everyone, I listen. If you can just take 30 minutes an hour walk around your neighborhood or on a treadmill, like that is great stuff. Like people underestimate just walking, because walking is the best way to get healthy, I mean I tell my patients that all the time, like if you can just walk to your mailbox and back or you know, just do a little, a little bit, and then you know the next day try a little bit more. Is is just doing something each day, that's all.

Walking to your mailbox and back. I think I can do that. I will walk to my mailbox and back.

Listen, I think you could do a little bit more than one.

I like starting that I like that.

I like that starting point no that's good.

Thank you for that. So that's good, I agree. I agree. I know working out and getting fit is something that seems like a common theme all the time Not just I mean New Year's resolutions, for sure, but like all the time, it's always something that it's always something that seems to be all people's minds. Why is that? Why? Why do you think?

Well, I think a lot, Just in general. I mean, one of my friends sent me this video of JFK back in the 60s like being upset about how he saw little children who were just like overweight and not working out. So this has been a thing for us for years, decades in this country. And then you could think about Michelle Obama and how she was like really into getting health and nutrition into the school system. So it's just a part of our day-to-day thought process. And just with the health of America in general, like looking at America's obesity rates and stuff like that we are very we're actually number one. We're number one on that list of obesity, being overweight. So it's just, it's a big thing in our system in the fact that a lot of times everybody doesn't know what's a good thing to eat or how well to work out and stuff like that. So we're all just trying to learn that stuff to make ourselves healthier, because in general we all want to live like a longer and healthier life.

Yeah, so all right. So you're in the healthcare system. Okay, I am, you're in the healthcare system. And yeah, deep, you're deep, You're deep. You're in a hospital, right?

So like you're in it.

You see a lot, but also you've been going on your own journey right Of getting healthy. Yes, so I'm always like, I'm always interested people in the healthcare system who I kind of have to unlearn unhealthy habits that they're telling other people all the time don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, do this, do this, do this but they're not doing or don't do it. You know what I'm saying. Did you find yourself in that predicament at all? I did.

Sometimes I felt a little bit like a hypocrite, I'm not gonna lie. I was just like, ah, you need to eat healthier, you know. Just avoid eating that piece of cake, even though I want to eat that piece of cake, you know. So it was just trying to. So if I'm going to tell them to do that, I also need to walk that walk, you know as well. So it was like if I'm going to say it, I need to be doing it as well. So I can. Because a lot of times in the healthcare industry you're like trying to relate to that person you're talking to, so you talk about, sometimes a little bit about your own experience, of what you've seen, so that they can connect with you and also help themselves out in the end.

So what was your motivation for getting on this journey? And y'all, you look great, dude, like for real. She has really been on this every time, like she and I talk probably every other day, if not every day at some point, and every time I call her she is either walking or in the gym every time, like it actually doesn't fail. And so you have been on this and it actually has been really cool to see the progression. So what started you on it, like why did you decide I'm kicking this into gear? And then, what has kept you going?

Okay, yeah, no, those are great questions. So I recently moved to a new city where it basically knew no one, and so for me it was just like when moving to this new city, I wanted a better work-life balance because I knew in my previous life I was terrible, I was eating late nights fast food. Give me my Taco Bell give me some Raving Cave.

You were in college again, though you were definitely doing the college.

I was in college again. Yes, 11 o'clock Taco truck please. So, and I am not in college anymore and my body also knew I wasn't in college anymore, so I could feel like the weight gain happening. And so, moving to the new city, I wanted to have a new attitude about what I was doing and how I was doing it. However, I still didn't get on that journey I. So it took me even moving here and like getting adjusted to the new city. It took me some time to like figure out like how I was gonna do it and really get started. And always there's always an excuse to not start oh it's too hot outside, I can't really do it, or oh, I'm just really tired from work, and you're always gonna be tired from work. So it took me a while to actually get into the groove of it. But once I did like actually fully commit myself to it and I think that's a lot of things you have to commit to yourself to do it. I mean you can start at the beginning of the year, you can start in the middle of the year, like I did like. It just depends on whatever you wanna start and you're like ready to go, and so for me. It was just me being ready to do it and like also being able to look and like I don't know what the first thing to do in a gym. I have no idea, so I got a trainer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, even if you can't get a trainer, there are so many like YouTube videos and Instagram TikTok videos, like there are so many trainers out there for you to train with that you don't even you may not even need somebody to help you out. I just had no clue what to do in a gym, so that's why I got one. But that was the thing for me, just like finding someone to help me figure out what I'm doing in there. And then, you know, also just making goals for myself. You know small goals of like oh, I want to be able to, you know, lift this kind of weight and not have issues. Or you know, walk up and downstairs and not have to catch my breath, or anything like that. You know those are the like small things and like small goals, even if it's like weight loss goals oh, I want to lose 10 pounds, you know, in two months. Or you know something like that. You have to figure out those goals and I like to do small goals that are attainable, so I can like go to the next one for myself.

That's good. So what was the first goal you reached?

Oh, okay, the first goal I reached was that I did lose 10 pounds in the first month, Nice, Nice. So I was like, yeah, Doing something there. And then I mean, once you achieve that first goal, you're like okay, it gives you some self-confidence, right? You're like okay, I've won that part of my race. Now what's the next part of my race?

I'm going to do. This is really good, joy, yeah, this is good, and from the record. We haven't talked this in depth about this and I'm learning a lot. This is really good, so all right. So what kept you going Like? Was it hitting the goals? Did that keep you going? Was it like okay?

Yeah, no, honestly, it's 100% hitting the goals. And then I mean, like, what my trainer told me was like you're going to see some of the changes first, right, and then you know, some people will eventually see it later, and that's true, like I'm not. No one was telling me like in the beginning oh joy, obviously see, yeah, yeah, yeah and no, you're going to see those, you're going to notice the changes and not even like weight loss changes, just the amount, like for me was the amount of strength that I had, you know, going into the gym, like okay, I can do that, let me get those higher weights, you know. And then eventually, like other people started noticing and other people started commenting and you're like, okay, I can do this some more. And then you know, you just keep challenging yourself as you go.

That's really good. Okay, this is all right. So, like just because you know, sometimes I got to be deep. The idea that's other, like you're going to notice the change first and then other people will like. I feel like that's such a profound thing, because that's true.

Yeah, and it's not even like it's and it's not even like a physical change, it's an internal change. You're going to feel first Like I felt having, like I had more energy, and like you feel like, okay, I have more energy, I can do more things, and you know, I feel stronger. I let me try and push myself some more and like I think, is that, that internal part that helps out to get you to the next?

part, and that is to me that is so. It's such a profound way of looking at it and it helps. I think the journey for a lot of people, and what growth looks like, is like don't be discouraged if you're the only person that sees your growth, Because a lot of times we get, we want the affirmation from other people, Because we're like I'm doing all this stuff and y'all still see me as the old person. But right, right, you see you first and you have to live with that first and then other people may come along. But like I love that, I just think that's a really good general principle to help with is like when you're, when you're changing anything, like you notice the change and know that you might be the only one that notices the change for a while.

Yeah, right, but also don't be discouraged if you don't see anything, you know. Like don't worry about what the outside is, what's happening on the outside at first. Like can be concerned about what you're doing internally, how healthy, or your feeling.

So okay. So like this this has been, this has obviously been like a layered process, right? It's not just about losing weight, it's not just about, you know, getting fit and healthy. What else has this taught you about yourself?

Um, it tell it taught me a lot about control, not gonna lie. That is so serious, you know, because, like I am a big sweets person, you know this I love a good cookie.

Joy does holiday cookies and send them like, literally ship them to the house Like I. I have no other friends that have ever done that before, ever. Yeah, I love it.

Yeah, I do do that. So, like that was the thing, I love those things, but also you don't need those things every day, you know. Like you don't need that piece of chocolate every. I know sometimes we all want it but we don't always need that. So it's the self control for me, like learning how to have self control in like and I'm not saying that you can't have things because I mean I'm definitely still eating chocolate, but I just know how much and like not to overindulge. Yeah, that's good.

Um, what? All right, so control what, what else? What else have you? Yes, that has has it taught you about yourself.

Um, that I can always push myself, um, you know, just challenging yourself um to reach goals, um, be realistic about goals. You know, um, I've never going to think that, um, I'm going to, I don't want to give myself a certain way that I need to look Um, but also, you know, just challenging myself to be better. And you know, a lot of times, um, they say, like, once you hit like your forties, um into your fifties, that you're to keep yourself, like um, healthy, you need to really have those strong muscles and bones and and I want to go into that part of my life already healthy, not waiting to get or waiting to like get there to get to that you know Um. So it's like, you know, just trying to make sure I stay challenged and focused and goal oriented for those things. Those are the things I'm learning about myself.

That's good, no, that's good, so all right. What? What has this process helped you to unlearn? What have you unlearned in this process about? About working out, about being challenged, about you know you're, you know you're this whole journey. What have you unlearned?

Um, uh, unlearned that, um like, weightlifting is not just for the guys. That's what I've learned you know like it's not just for the guys. Like I knew that there were girls out there who were doing it, I was like y'all are doing great stuff, not me and I. I unlearned that. You know it's, it's for all of us, it's not just for the guys. Girls get out there too.

We can all do it. That's that's. That's that's real, that's that's cool.

It's just it's, and it's just. It's not just about doing the cardio, it's doing about all of it, yeah. Okay.

All right, okay, I don't think I've lifted a weight since high school like really weight lifted. You know, and I I did it, you know for basketball and all that stuff, and I, you know, listen and you never did.

I never did. I never, never lifted, not for like when I played volleyball or cheerleading, like I never lifted because you really just they girls were, that was for for for girls, really. Yeah, I was just like. I don't need that, guys, let's just go practice. So like, yeah, I had to unlearn that. Yeah, I just like you know we, I just need to do cardio, that's all that matters. But yeah, I had to unlearn that that there's more to you know, physical wellness besides. Like all, right.

Anything else you've unlearned, yeah.

I've unlearned, you know, like paying attention to or guess to not, or I don't know what to say. I pay more attention to what I'm eating and how much of I'm eating it, you know. So it's like you know eating, seeing how much like carbohydrates or, you know, refined sugar that I'm eating. How can I adjust that in my diet, whether you know to? You know, add more things in there, more veggies, more lean proteins. And then you know I still have a little bit of carbohydrates, but you know adjusting it, maybe not going for. You know that the regular pasta, you know going for the whole wheat pasta, is a little bit more chewy but still tasty. Yeah, sure, okay, all right it is, it is Not bad. I promise you Get a good sauce on it.

You wouldn't have to say it. You have to qualify it like that. It's like no, no.

No, but why not give it a try? What will it harm you to try? You have to look right, you're right.

Yeah, that is something I have to unlearn. Thank you, what, what? How has this process made you more free?

I number one. I have more energy to do things like I. When I go in, hang out with my nieces, I have more energy to run around with them, and that just makes me so happy. Um, just that is, you know, being able to know that I've taken more control of, like, my health, rather than just allowing things to happen based on, you know what, the lack of things that I'm doing that's really good.

The energy thing is real. Uh, that's real, I think you know you just can't perform at your highest level if you don't have, if you don't have, the energy Like, um, you know what I'm saying. If you just can't, it's not possible and, uh, you won't. I also think, like you don't know what you're really capable of until you get to the place, to where your energy is at that level you know what I'm saying Like where you're really healthy and you're moving, um. So I think one of the things that can be frustrating for me and I think other people and you probably do, you know is like it seems like we go through these seasons of doing really well and like these high points, and it's like I feel great, yeah, and then six months later in my life, it's like what am I feeling in my back, right? Like what is that? Like that's extra skin. You know what I'm saying. Where did that come from, you know? And it's like hey, six months ago that wasn't there. Well, dad, gummit. Now, what am I supposed to do about that? Right, and and it gets frustrating because you go through these seasons and it's like it's hard to um, it's a lot of times unrealistic to just you start on this trajectory that goes up and it just never dips. So what? What happened? What do you? What do you do when it dips? Like, what do you do?

I think it's okay, like, be okay when it dips. You know, because you're not supposed to. I don't think you're supposed to run out a hundred, you know forever. You know sometimes you do need to take some time off, sometimes you do need to relax. It's okay to do that and then. But when you know it's time to give back on it, give back on it Like you don't need to stay in that dip for too long. But you know, let allow yourself the space in the room to be okay with the dip. But also, you know, find what will be your next goal to get you back out of that rut.

That's good. I appreciate that this conversation is part of my getting out of the rut, because I got to get back, because I done dipped Joy, I dipped, I did.

It's okay to dip. I mean, everyone did during Christmas. Oh, this was Christmas. This has been a long dip.

It's been a long dip, but it's okay, it's all right, it's all right, I appreciate it. Thank you for giving me the permission and I will acknowledge that now. But for real, like working out has never been something I've enjoyed, but walking, I love what you said about walking. Walking is like that's a real. I love walking.

It's real Like find yourself a nice little park to walk in or you know, just just anything. Also, one thing I think people forget about and don't realize how much is helpful is just drinking water. You know, if you could just help your body, drinking water, your body will help you back. So, like water and walking, if you can do anything, if you can just do just those two things, you will significantly see changes in your body.

That's real. That's real. I can appreciate that. That's good. Joy, this was fun, man, it was Whatever you loved it. You're going to come back, so all right. So if you have to give one word of encouragement to people who maybe they said today is my last day, I can't keep this up. I went hard for the first two weeks. I'm dipping, I'm not here, what would you tell them?

I will tell you yeah, you went hard for those first two weeks and you did a great job, all right, and remember those first two weeks when you were doing your hardest and just do something. I'm not saying you have to do a crazy amount, you have to do exactly what you're doing two weeks before. Just do something, that's it. That's all I'm saying. You'll get over that hump eventually and you'll do a little bit more, but just try and do a little bit of something so that you can get to that next part.

Amen, joy, amen. Thank you for helping me. I feel halfway inspired. I'm not going to sit here and declare Now, that's not you. You are very inspirational. I just have to really get to the place where I am. Okay, I just don't like working out. That is just not something I enjoy. But thank you, for I'll go to my mailbox. Thank you, I'll go to the mailbox. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to go to my mailbox and we'll start there and we'll see what happens. But thank you for inspiring me to go halfway, and I think you have done that for other people. You've probably inspired them to go the whole way, because they're better than me.

This is the mailbox, okay.

Thank you, joy. I really I love talking to you. You got to come back on. This is fun, this is fun.

One day, one day, one day One day.

All right. So this has been Freedom Friday. Let's keep unlearning together so that we can live more freely, and we will see you next week, peace. Thank you once again for listening To the Unlearned podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.