Freedom Friday with Jazmin Woodcox - You are ENOUGH... Even If Everyone Around You Doesn't Think So

Hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast. I am your host, ruth Abigail Smith, and it is once again Freedom Fridays which is with me, or me and one of my friends comes and shares something with you that we have unlearned this week and how it has made us just a little bit more free. So for the last several weeks it has just been me on the microphone sharing what I've unlearned, and today I get to introduce you all to a new friend of mine. So this is really a new friend. Like we just met, we met when. When do we meet?

Like probably three weeks ago, like maybe three weeks maybe. So yeah, it's not, it hasn't been that long.

Yeah, yeah, it's been, it's been, it's been three weeks. So she is actually one of our interns over at Angel Street and then we just clicked She's so cool and I want her to introduce herself. But her name is Jasmine Woodcox And she has man, she's so cool, she has. She is 22,. she's 22 years old and just has this incredible personality and loves life, loves people, and we've been having some really good conversations over at Angel Street and she's pursuing some things and really trying to figure out what it is that she's doing. I don't know if any of y'all feel like that or have that have that moment. I did it 22 and I still do now at the age I'm at now, right, and so I want her to come and just share a little bit of what it is. She's unlearning and she also has a podcast that she's going to tell you about. So, jasmine man, introduce yourself to the people.

Well, you gave me a good introduction so far. But hey everyone, i'm Jasmine Woodcox. I have a podcast called Just Join the Journey with Jazzy. I know it's a lot of Jays, but it is on Apple Music and Spotify. I'm just now starting, but I'm 22,. I go to University of Memphis. I'm from St Louis, born and raised, but I came to Memphis, tennessee, and I want to, you know, just spread awareness and self essence among others, especially young teens and young adults like myself, because it's hard out here.

So that's enough, i think. So far, man, that's good. So you know we were talking earlier this week about. This week has been like a week of revelations for you, right? Well, what are some of those revelations?

Some of the revelations that I was having, that I didn't know that were so big in my life that I kind of realized that were out of this world, was the communication that I have with myself and with others, because sometimes I try to trust my. I can say I give my advice to others or they give their advice to me and it kind of, in a sense, the things that I accept, i accept it from them but they won't accept it from me. And I had to realize some people are not there to understand what you're saying. Or some people want to just say what they're going to say and you have to either, you know, roll with it or not. And then some people might get upset that you know they don't like what you're saying to them, but it's okay, because I feel like every advice is good advice, even if it's bad. I just try to take, you know, roll with the punches in a sense. So that's one of my revelations this week, especially today. I had that happen today. So, yes, with my own family, and I had to realize not to accept their advice because it would have put me in a different direction and I trust them so much because I was raised around them. I've been around them. Those are people that I hope they love me. So it kind of made me take their leadership or what their advice they were giving me and put me into a wrong direction because, based on what their experiences and what their life is and it kind of, you know, didn't go so well. So I'm happy I took my advice now. So, instead of their advice even if they're, you know, family- Okay.

So I think you bring up a really good point, because family and the relationship we have with them, that can be really tough. So you're okay, so you're kind of entering into this like pretty big phase of young adulthood, being in 22, right, and so you've spent so far most of your existence and correct me if I'm wrong taking more advice from your family Like you. Just, i mean anybody at your at the age of 22, myself included. We're still trying to figure out, okay, what from my family do I keep? What do I throw away? So let me ask you, what kind of things, what things do you find yourself rethinking that you may have learned from your family or you know your family really rocks with it that you don't necessarily.

I think how my future is and what I would do after college and how my life will be as an adult period. I think it's because they want me to be so successful and they based my success on them, or they think that I'm going to be the one to get everyone out the hood and everything like that. And sometimes they put so much pressure on to me because I also have a twin sister. But shout out to her, but I have a twin sister and we, both of us go through things and we both go to university in Memphis and we struggle with our family, especially our parents, feeling like they want to make the decisions for us but also they don't guide us in the right way. They just kind of just talk to talk at us and think that we are supposed to just take it, because with their experiences they have and not necessarily not understanding. This is a whole new world now And some of them haven't experienced my parents and other family members having experienced what I'm experiencing now And I'm breaking generational curses. So it's now that I'm realizing that I have to take my own advice, even if I feel like they give me so much wisdom, because sometimes it's not always needed And sometimes it may make you make the wrong decision. So that's how I think it, kind of that's what it is. It's my future and also like my financial decisions, because sometimes I think that I make a deal decision and I do things because I'm my own support. But also when I tell my family or I just talk to them about things that I necessarily have issues with just as a 22 year old and everything like that that they already been through, it's kind of like why did you do that and why this and that, and not give me the necessary guidance? And so I have to teach myself and show myself that gratitude, you know. So it is a hard thing with that And I try to take them, not take everything with their say with a greater start, because no, but I have to long handle, spoon my communication in a sense. So that's what I'm kind of trying to unlearn is that.

All right, so what are the things that like how, what are the things that you've, what are, what are? what is kind of the new, I guess, what are the new things that you're starting to embrace, Like you talked about, like you know, your future, your finances, like, what is the new stuff that you're starting to embrace? What is some of the advice that you've been giving yourself Or that you've been taken from people that maybe have a, are thinking in a different direction, right, or in the same direction as you?

yeah, I would say, especially from you. You've been like a mentor for me, even though it's only three weeks. I know that's like wow, like how do you connect with someone that fast? But I feel like our aura's really connect and that's why I'm grateful for her, grateful for you putting me on this podcast. But I am embracing my personality and my self, like my self, care for myself and also acknowledging my boundaries and then also acknowledging that I am not gonna fit everyone's box. I'm not gonna fit everything that everyone wants me to be, even if that's family, friends And you know my personality, how I am, it shouldn't determine if I don't get this, i don't get that. It's just based on, like, if it's meant for me, it's meant for me, if it's not meant for me, it's not meant for me. And the new embraces that I have, like I said, is taking advice from people that don't even know me, like in also taking on new experiences, because I've been holding myself back and not taking risk and everything like that and I've been so scared of my own self. So now I'm seeing that I can do something for me and I should be proud of myself and I feel like I was wrong for making a decision, or I was not. I was thinking about so many different things, but not thinking about Javon. If you want to do what, just do it. Not do it because don't do it because you have all these other things and it may interfere, or people's opinions, or you know society, how they may look at you know. Just do it because you want to do it, and I know that's something. That's a lot. People may think that it's easy, but for me it takes a long. It would take. It took a long. It took a long time because I was just raised on pleasing people. I'm a people pleaser and I'm just so nice so to give myself the gratitude and validation and understand that you are you and if someone doesn't accept you, for you that's okay, but you being you is just gonna make you sleep good tonight, because it makes me sleep good night and I protect my peace at all costs for anyone. So, yeah, so there's a few things, but I think give myself self-revelation and understanding that I am me and that I am proud of myself, of anything I've done. Even if I make mistakes, i can keep going, and that I'm human. I am not perfect by any means and that is helping me get through this journey, and it's all about the journey. So man.

So one people pleases to another, like for real. I'm just not like I wish. I wish I figured some of this stuff out when I was younger. Because, like the people pleasing thing is so hard to unlearn, because you're so used to the affirmation that comes when, when, when people are happy with you you know I'm saying like it's like it's it's. It sometimes can be intoxicating, like I love when people are happy and I love when people you know are appreciative of me or or give me praise or are, are whatever or that I can be, you know they think of me highly right, like that makes me feel good. And so sometimes you can do that and not realize your damage in yourself by trying to almost get that high, like it's almost like a high, you know.

I mean, like I'm to add to that, it's just a feeling of I don't know the acceptance you get from people pleasing, because I know that people wouldn't do it for me necessarily. But I think it's because my heart is so big and I care about people, even if it's a stranger, a homeless person, it doesn't matter. I care so much to the point where people will try to take advantage of that and I have to set boundaries now because of that. But it's just, i don't know. It's like a rush, just like feeling I'm a superhero and it's since I want to save everyone and I cannot save everyone. So that is my, that was my issue so long and I'm finally getting to, you know, saying no and I can't do this, or not getting mad at myself if I can't do this event, because I really don't want to do the vent, not because I, like you know, i don't want to feel like I gotta do it, because I don't look at me, how they gonna think about me, how they gonna feel about me later. Oh, my god, she's not good friend. No, i can say no to things because I'm pretty sure she was on her foot. No one's gonna care that much, and you know, and that happened to me yesterday too. I had a friend and I was just she's like, i'm gonna, you know, come and visit you. And I was just like I'm not, i can't. I have a lot going on in my head and I was, when she called me out, in the midst of doing something I didn't really know how to say. I was in a shop but I, after I got the phone, has already told her that I wasn't gonna do it. But after I got the phone I was like, oh my gosh, jasmine, please don't get mad at yourself. Like it took me like an hour to really like sink in, like stop worrying about the call. You made a decision. It is okay. If she doesn't want to be friends, you best off you just canceling. And she just, you know, called you out of the blue and you're getting them. You feel like you're not a good friend. No, cuz you're amazing friend and when anyone needs you or any device, you're there, or just support, you're there. So don't get up. You don't bang up, don't get up, don't bully yourself. In a sense. So that's why I was like, oh, i had a. I was so happy because I actually said no and like it. I don't know how satisfied satisfying that is, but it was really like so satisfying, and I felt like I did something that took me years to even say so man, that's a big deal.

like saying no, that's a big deal. That's a big deal because when you say no, it's just like we talk about boundaries all the time And I just don't think most people have good boundaries, including myself, right. But when you say no, that's I mean you're making a decision, and I think it's always important to recognize that when people can't take your no, they don't really deserve your yes either. You know what I'm saying? Like they really don't. If my no is a problem for you, then you really can't have my yes. And I think sometimes for those of us that are people pleasers, like that's really hard, but in the end it's healthier for us. It's healthier for us. So tell me, like, why are you? how do you feel more free as a result of unlearning these really big things? Right, like you know how to navigate your relationship with your family, you know people pleasing, you know trusting yourself and what it is that you like. how are you more free as a result of that?

Trust in the process has been the main point that I've been trying to get through. It's like just trusting the process has helped me so much, because I don't want I used to have headaches every day because of just stressing about things I kid you not literally every day, and to the point where I didn't know where it was from like I ate better, i did better, like what was the problem, and I didn't know. Stress was such a huge thing And I'm stressing over things that are not in my control, stressing the things about people that don't even won't even think, as far as I will, about situations, and I had to just accept that, like, set your boundaries, say no, and you, like you said profound was, you know, they don't accept your no, they can't accept your yes, like both of them they go hand in hand. And I was thinking I wasn't thinking that way And it just now I really understand. Back in the day, people used to tell me that and I'm just like, what do you mean? Like, and now I understand how much healthier it is. I can sleep better than I am. I am not so worried. I'm not always on my phone trying to see if someone's going to be upsetting me, my like the trauma I have from all that. it is starting to fade away And I'm starting to feel like I can do things for me, really for me, and not feel ashamed about it, not feel bad that I want to make a decision based on me, not feel bad if I, you know, decide to go on a walk or do something for myself and, just you know, don't want to do the other event because me, i'm not ready for that Or I don't want to do that because of what they're doing, and to accept that. So it's been a wonderful feeling. I feel so much at peace and I feel like I can make more decisions solely on me now And I don't have to have that peanut gallery back in my mind Or I don't have to think like, oh, what would they do? Or how they feel. And I did it with everyone. And now that I can kind of like say no, i can hang up the phone, i don't have to answer the phone, i can put my phone on, do not disturb. Or I can like literally like I'll get to when I get to and they're going to be all right. And that has been such a good, fulfilling moment for me And I just feel free in a sense, like I really feel free and aware of my self and it's just amazing I can just do so much. I know it's not a lot for a lot of people, but for me it's something that took so much out of me And now I can finally put the stuff that I put into others onto me and put it in me. So that is just what I really it's been happening now for me.

Man, it's dope, i think. I actually think it means a lot to a lot of people. I think this is sometimes we talk about and I don't I don't want to be, i don't want to be misunderstood When I say this, but sometimes we talk about really extreme things. Extreme, you know. We talk a lot about trauma and extreme situations, which we should and that needs to happen, but I think we neglect some of the little things that just happened day to day that we don't realize have built up to where it's affecting us in ways that we don't even realize are so unhealthy. Right, we understand the big traumatic incidences. We get that. We don't always get how the stress like, like you said, stress like we don't talk about, like stress will it'll. It'll wear and tear your body, on your mind, your energy, and you're not able to do the things that you really want to do, and it's not it's, and people pleasing or trying to try to try to follow somebody else's path which, man, i've done way too much in my life Like Follow somebody else's path, is so taxing on you, it's so taxing And you don't realize how unhealthy and toxic that is. And so I just want to validate what you said Like no, i think it is helping a lot of people, because I think a lot of people don't talk enough about it because they're like, oh, it's not that big of a deal, it's a huge deal. It's a huge deal. It affects more people than I think we even know. And so, man, i appreciate you being honest about that. Man, that's good Y'all. So tell the people what's the name of your podcast again. I know we said it at the beginning, but I want to hear it again And tell them when your next episode is going to drop.

OK. So, speaking of all this, you know self-revelation and everything like that and just discovering yourself. My podcast is about that the self-awareness and self-essence of individuals from young teens to young adults, my age especially college students, because I know we all go through this right now college students. But my podcast is just joining the journey with Jazzy And, like I said, it's on Apple Music and Spotify, but I record these episodes in a way of it being like a journal to me, so when I feel like I feel the essence in me, that's when I'm going to post it And I'm trying to get more consistent with it, because now I don't have those boundaries and all those stresses of other people and other things that will put my whole mind to and all the energy I can finally do that into my craft And that's what the whole process of my podcast, the whole synopsis of my podcast, is is reflecting yourself, knowing that you are amazing, regardless of anything and regardless of anyone, and understanding yourself and being able to just walk through life and walk through your journey, knowing that I'm me. And if you don't accept me, that's OK And I'm going to do whatever I want to do because it makes me happy And it makes me feel like I'm powerful And that's OK, like that's what I had to learn that And this podcast is the start of me growing myself confidence, growing myself love and also growing myself independence, in a way of just getting those mental barriers and those obstacles that I have on a daily basis. That most people don't talk about anxiety, just you know disorders everything Like you are accepted And that's what my podcast is known for. So I hope you guys check it out. I know my episode is going to be now, it's going to be this weekend or Monday, because I have a lot of pressure now because I've got people looking at it. But please check it out Where we're from. Well, my podcast, where we're from, we call Purple Zebra. So if you're coming to my side, it's called Purple Zebra because we are purple and we are a lifestyle. So you know that is me And I am just honored to be on your podcast and just talk about my experiences, even if it's just short, whatever, because this moment just gave me so much healing that I needed. And right now the most recent podcast is talking about trauma and healing and steps to heal from the trauma. So we also talk about healing for things that we're going through and you know the obstacles, or just my daily life, and I want someone else to know that they're accepted as well. So that's just a little bit of it. So you know, check it out when you have a chance. Thank you.

Oh, i love it Y'all. Ok, do it again. What's it called? OK, i'm going to spell it. I'm going to spell it. Yeah, do it again.

Because I know it's a real Tom Twister. Ok, so just like the word, just J-U-S-T, join J-O-Y-I-N-G the word, the, and then just join the journey J-O-U-R-N-E-Y with Jazzy. So W-I-T-H. Jazzy, and you can find it on, like I said, apple Music, spotify, everything like that, and we're just going to be talking about our journey, seeing how we get through them every day.

Just join the journey with Jazzy. I got it, i got it. I got it. I got it. Y'all check out her podcast And thank you for listening to Unlearn Podcast and where we are all about helping you gain the courage to change your mind so you can experience more freedom. And you have tuned in once again to Freedom Friday. So y'all have a great week. And you know, i don't know how to end these things I never do And so I'm just going to say peace And we'll have a good weekend. We'll see you next week, peace, peace. Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearn Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then Go, shouldn't Oh.