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Oct. 8, 2024

Talks With Middle Adults : MBTI Assessment Broken Down, Personal Growth Through Assessments, Navigating Feelings and Decision-Making, Personality Types and Dichotomies Explained, Reflecting for Personal Transformation

Talks With Middle Adults : MBTI Assessment Broken Down, Personal Growth Through Assessments, Navigating Feelings and Decision-Making, Personality Types and Dichotomies Explained, Reflecting for Personal Transformation
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What if understanding your personality could unlock a whole new level of personal growth? Join us as we embark on the second season of the Unlearned Podcast, filled with gratitude and excitement. Ruth Abigail and Jaquita reflect on their 20-year journey of impactful conversations and share personal stories, including Jaquita's shift to a new administrative role and Ruth’s memorable meeting with icons like Jasmine Guy at a Legends Luncheon. We also find humor in our renewed love for boy band music, a reminder of how our past influences our present.

This season, we dissect the transformative power of personality assessments, particularly the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, in aligning with the biblical call to become a “new creature” in Christ. We candidly share how recognizing our natural preferences through these assessments has spurred personal growth and improved our relationships. From balancing introversion and extroversion to understanding the dynamics within friendships and marriages, we explore how these insights can reshape communication and foster authentic connections.

Discover the art of embracing personality differences and how it leads to stronger relationships and self-awareness. Through personal anecdotes, we address the tension between fast-paced decision-making and the need for reflection, highlighting the importance of self-awareness in personal transformation. This episode promises to inspire you to unlearn old patterns, embrace authenticity, and harness the power of reflection for a richer, more fulfilling life. Tune in to unravel the complexities of personality and transformation in your own journey.

Chapters

00:05 - Season 2 Conversations and Updates

14:01 - Personal Growth Through Assessments

20:34 - Personality Types and Dichotomies Explained

26:27 - Understanding Personality as a Preference

39:44 - Navigating Personal Preferences and Growth

46:42 - Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Personal Growth

56:43 - Navigating Feelings and Decision-Making

01:11:31 - Reflecting for Personal Transformation

01:15:39 - Importance of Reflection for Personal Growth"

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:05.447 --> 00:00:06.988
what's up everybody?

00:00:06.988 --> 00:00:12.015
Hello and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.

00:00:12.015 --> 00:00:14.403
I am your host, ruth abigail aka r.

00:00:14.403 --> 00:00:15.506
What's up, friends?

00:00:15.506 --> 00:00:16.568
It's your girl, jaquita.

00:00:16.568 --> 00:00:27.152
You can see we are excited to be back I was kind of caught off guard, because quita I said something dumb and then she responded, and then we started the recording.

00:00:27.373 --> 00:00:30.106
She's rude and I didn't see the countdown coming.

00:00:30.106 --> 00:00:38.835
I was like, oh, let me fix my face because I don't want to go off on this camera in front of these good folks, because they came here to be empowered and revived.

00:00:38.835 --> 00:00:40.765
They didn't come to catch your heat.

00:00:41.447 --> 00:00:44.284
Whatever man, whatever Y'all, welcome to season two.

00:00:44.284 --> 00:00:45.649
What's up?

00:00:45.649 --> 00:00:47.265
It's season two, man.

00:00:47.265 --> 00:00:47.587
What's up?

00:00:47.587 --> 00:00:48.109
Season two?

00:00:48.380 --> 00:00:51.591
Listen, season one was fantastic.

00:00:51.591 --> 00:00:54.408
We want to thank all of you guys for hanging out with us.

00:00:54.408 --> 00:01:01.249
I'm still catching people like catching me in the grocery stores, catching me around campus and they're like, hey, we love the podcast.

00:01:01.581 --> 00:01:06.927
Isn't it weird when people are like I listened to this, yeah, and I'm like oh for real.

00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:08.430
You know what would help, though.

00:01:08.430 --> 00:01:19.784
You guys comment like share, subscribe, and we would know, but instead y'all sneak watching and then catching me and I'm like, oh for real, but no, but for real.

00:01:19.784 --> 00:01:21.629
We appreciate all of y'all so much.

00:01:21.629 --> 00:01:30.349
It's been amazing, just amazing, to see the impact and you know who knew these little conversations we've been having for 20 years?

00:01:30.349 --> 00:01:33.284
I know actually could help somebody who knew.

00:01:33.424 --> 00:01:36.451
I mean that's who knew you know what Quita does.

00:01:36.451 --> 00:01:37.942
That it means is good.

00:01:37.942 --> 00:01:43.165
So just watch out for the in this season, because you know she might do that a lot and that you want to tune in.

00:01:43.165 --> 00:01:44.631
You want to tune in, I just might.

00:01:44.631 --> 00:01:49.721
Yeah, I just might, friends.

00:01:49.740 --> 00:01:51.686
so season two, I really believe I genuinely think it's gonna be better than season one.

00:01:51.686 --> 00:01:51.846
I agree.

00:01:51.846 --> 00:01:55.093
I agree because we're better man so much has changed?

00:01:55.474 --> 00:01:58.004
oh, that's true, the things have changed.

00:01:58.004 --> 00:01:58.825
What's changed?

00:01:58.825 --> 00:01:59.408
Talk about it.

00:01:59.408 --> 00:01:59.909
What's going?

00:01:59.948 --> 00:02:00.530
man.

00:02:00.530 --> 00:02:02.093
Well, I just feel like.

00:02:02.093 --> 00:02:04.265
I mean we can talk about this.

00:02:04.265 --> 00:02:07.111
I I'm in a completely different season of life.

00:02:07.111 --> 00:02:10.949
I feel like since yeah, when was our last episode?

00:02:11.259 --> 00:02:12.786
That was a couple months ago, I think.

00:02:12.967 --> 00:02:17.651
Yeah, and a lot just went down in these streets.

00:02:17.651 --> 00:02:20.462
Friends Still single.

00:02:20.462 --> 00:02:21.246
Just want to be clear.

00:02:21.246 --> 00:02:27.685
Okay, I didn't want people to think oh man, she's off the market, dang, I was waiting's off the market, dang, I was waiting to shoot my shot.

00:02:27.685 --> 00:02:31.873
Darn Nah, Go ahead, shoot your shot, I'm just playing.

00:02:32.140 --> 00:02:33.104
It's just jokes, friends.

00:02:33.104 --> 00:02:33.968
It's just jokes.

00:02:33.968 --> 00:02:35.776
We don't want all the shots, do it.

00:02:36.239 --> 00:02:36.340
Do it.

00:02:36.340 --> 00:02:37.947
It's just jokes until it's not.

00:02:48.599 --> 00:02:49.782
No, but hey, friends, I got a new job.

00:02:49.782 --> 00:02:50.123
Hey, come on.

00:02:50.123 --> 00:02:50.686
New job, that's what's up.

00:02:50.686 --> 00:02:51.086
Congratulations.

00:02:51.086 --> 00:03:01.290
Got a new job, got a little bit of a raise hey, so yeah, but no, but you know it's, it's.

00:03:01.632 --> 00:03:06.830
I really do feel like you know, the job is just the indication of a season changing in my life.

00:03:06.830 --> 00:03:11.340
You, you know, and I feel like I'm I'm stepping into something new and doing new things.

00:03:11.340 --> 00:03:17.460
So a more administrative role, working with graduate students or working with older students.

00:03:17.460 --> 00:03:23.032
Students who are kind of at a higher, at more, are more advanced level of education.

00:03:23.032 --> 00:03:27.120
So, yeah, I'm excited about it, though that's awesome, quita.

00:03:27.561 --> 00:03:29.725
Yeah, um, what's up with you, rue?

00:03:29.725 --> 00:03:31.169
I don't, I don't.

00:03:31.169 --> 00:03:33.094
I look I don't really have that much new going on.

00:03:33.094 --> 00:03:34.063
I just got a lot going on.

00:03:34.063 --> 00:03:34.264
You know.

00:03:34.264 --> 00:03:39.360
I'm saying like I just it's, it's just a lot, which has been a lot for a while.

00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:41.985
Um, uh, so I did.

00:03:41.985 --> 00:03:44.007
I did recently get to meet some cool people.

00:03:44.007 --> 00:03:52.919
So, uh, angel street had a uh, what we call the legends luncheon is the first event we've ever had as far as this type of event.

00:03:52.919 --> 00:03:55.990
So it's our annual fundraiser, and I got to meet some fun people.

00:03:55.990 --> 00:03:56.520
So I got to.

00:03:56.561 --> 00:03:57.806
You did talk about it.

00:03:58.067 --> 00:03:58.307
I did.

00:03:58.307 --> 00:04:03.306
I got to meet Jasmine, guy from a different world, uh, also legend.

00:04:03.306 --> 00:04:03.927
Hold on.

00:04:03.927 --> 00:04:09.909
She's from from um a couple of days, most of you probably know her from a different world legend spike lee's.

00:04:09.909 --> 00:04:10.572
Well, what is she from?

00:04:10.572 --> 00:04:10.733
What's?

00:04:10.733 --> 00:04:11.520
Why am I blanking?

00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:12.201
What's the spike?

00:04:12.603 --> 00:04:15.548
oh, oh, oh um school days school days.

00:04:15.568 --> 00:04:21.204
yep, yeah, uh, and and so and she's, she's just uh, she's an incredible person.

00:04:21.204 --> 00:04:33.572
She's so cool and got to meet Carl Payne Most of you- all know him Martin, martin, martin, martin.

00:04:33.591 --> 00:04:42.531
Yeah, most of you know him from Martin and he is so much fun, like his table actually won a prize at the luncheon, which is fun.

00:04:42.531 --> 00:04:44.646
I got to meet Darren Henson.

00:04:44.646 --> 00:04:49.413
Darren Henson is some of y'all might know him from Stump the Yard.

00:04:49.413 --> 00:04:51.329
He was Grant in Stump the Yard.

00:04:51.329 --> 00:05:03.391
He also choreographed I learned this like recently because apparently this has become like a TikTok thing and he's the choreographer he won.

00:05:03.391 --> 00:05:04.983
Did he win a Grammy for this?

00:05:04.983 --> 00:05:09.641
He won, uh uh, he choreographed bye, bye, bye in syncs.

00:05:09.641 --> 00:05:10.725
Bye, bye, bye I.

00:05:10.865 --> 00:05:13.711
I didn't really yes, I didn't realize what so the?

00:05:14.531 --> 00:05:16.562
yeah, that's him, that's him, that's him.

00:05:16.562 --> 00:05:18.146
That was a legendary move.

00:05:18.146 --> 00:05:19.468
Okay, we all know that legend.

00:05:19.468 --> 00:05:21.754
Uh, funny, uh, tyson.

00:05:21.754 --> 00:05:27.211
Uh, uh, my kid is, uh, is he's been singing, he's been singing.

00:05:27.211 --> 00:05:27.738
Bye, bye bye.

00:05:27.860 --> 00:05:29.754
Have you brought him into a boy?

00:05:29.814 --> 00:05:30.379
band era.

00:05:30.379 --> 00:05:31.564
No, it wasn't me.

00:05:31.564 --> 00:05:32.127
It's not me.

00:05:32.127 --> 00:05:32.745
I don't know.

00:05:32.745 --> 00:05:33.552
I think it's probably.

00:05:33.552 --> 00:05:37.250
It's probably YouTube, I don't know whatever he's watching what, but he is.

00:05:37.250 --> 00:05:43.779
I've heard him singing it lately like I wanna see that far out that it is hilarious.

00:05:43.779 --> 00:05:46.649
I have laughed.

00:05:46.860 --> 00:05:52.521
It's like you know, it's like flare leg jeans they always come back.

00:05:52.521 --> 00:05:54.084
You know like.

00:05:57.552 --> 00:05:59.120
Okay, so I'm getting Okay.

00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:03.672
So producer Joy is telling us that it was in Deadpool, Got it.

00:06:04.500 --> 00:06:06.930
I was unaware Gen Z call it the Deadpool dance.

00:06:06.930 --> 00:06:09.387
Now, first of all, we don't care what Gen Z calls anything.

00:06:09.387 --> 00:06:12.168
Y'all coming out renaming things.

00:06:12.168 --> 00:06:13.305
We already gave it a name.

00:06:13.305 --> 00:06:16.547
We already gave it a name.

00:06:16.547 --> 00:06:24.302
Just because y'all came in and you're experiencing it for the first time does not now mean that you get to come in and rename it.

00:06:24.302 --> 00:06:26.930
We love you, gen z, but but stop it.

00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:32.619
They're redoing our dances, you know it's not, you don't have to yes, the bye-bye dance.

00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:37.129
Everybody know it, everybody know it so anyway that.

00:06:37.189 --> 00:06:41.005
So yeah, so we had an amazing time at the luncheon, really impactful really.

00:06:41.005 --> 00:06:41.908
It's a lot of it was.

00:06:41.908 --> 00:06:42.932
You know it was full house.

00:06:42.932 --> 00:06:45.120
Um, we really did have a good time.

00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:47.045
The, the angel street girls got.

00:06:47.045 --> 00:06:48.129
They sung, everybody.

00:06:48.129 --> 00:06:51.278
It was heartwarming and you know we had a.

00:06:51.278 --> 00:06:51.819
We got.

00:06:51.819 --> 00:06:52.783
We got really excited.

00:06:52.783 --> 00:06:54.651
We got so excited we started planning for the next one.

00:06:54.651 --> 00:07:00.752
Uh, as of yesterday, so okay, let's go yeah, we, we're, we're, we're in this thing.

00:07:00.812 --> 00:07:02.197
So we got, we got some.

00:07:02.197 --> 00:07:03.721
We met some pretty cool people, okay.

00:07:03.721 --> 00:07:11.048
So ernestineestine Shepard is the um oldest living female bodybuilder she's 89 years old, wow.

00:07:11.048 --> 00:07:13.026
She started bodybuilding at 50.

00:07:13.026 --> 00:07:18.009
She, uh, she was on a Steve Harvey show and she beat Steve and pushups.

00:07:18.370 --> 00:07:19.863
It's a big she not to be played with.

00:07:20.305 --> 00:07:20.666
Not at all.

00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:28.343
Sweet, not at all sweetest woman in the world.

00:07:28.343 --> 00:07:28.745
She is so sweet.

00:07:28.745 --> 00:07:30.331
Um, okay, and then the last one I'll mention.

00:07:30.331 --> 00:07:31.375
Imagine having a strong grandma like grandma.

00:07:31.375 --> 00:07:33.021
You need me to get grandma, you want me to get that box?

00:07:33.281 --> 00:07:38.932
nah, baby, I don't need you to do nothing sit down, don't worry, and another one, and another one.

00:07:38.932 --> 00:07:42.867
Give me another one, yeah, uh and uh.

00:07:42.867 --> 00:07:49.122
Angela winbush I don't know if any of you know who that is, but she is a legendary vocalist.

00:07:49.122 --> 00:08:09.764
Um, she actually is on the one of the 25 people, I think, in the whistle register, so that means that her voice can like mariah carey like mariah carey right or mini mini ripperton yes and so, man, she was so cool, excuse me, she did a video with some of the girls sung.

00:08:09.803 --> 00:08:15.930
They sung her song, angel, which is very appropriate because we're called angel street and um, and she was so fun.

00:08:15.930 --> 00:08:17.716
She was like giving out, she would.

00:08:17.716 --> 00:08:21.206
She's giving out her number to people, she's taking selfies, texting people to selfie.

00:08:21.206 --> 00:08:21.788
She texts me.

00:08:21.788 --> 00:08:25.247
You know her selfie and you know it's just like what.

00:08:25.247 --> 00:08:27.745
For one of my, one of the guests at the at the luncheon.

00:08:27.745 --> 00:08:32.299
She actually, um, her sister is like I don't remember.

00:08:32.299 --> 00:08:43.024
She's like her favorite singer, and so she told her that and she ended up she said her birthday was like in a week and she ended up singing happy birthday, a birthday song, and she recorded it and she get to send it to her sister.

00:08:43.024 --> 00:08:43.806
Isn't that sweet?

00:08:43.806 --> 00:08:50.940
Oh, that's so sweet she is.

00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:51.402
I really like her man.

00:08:51.402 --> 00:08:52.344
She's really cool, like I was, like yo.

00:08:52.344 --> 00:08:53.346
I want them to come back like I just want.

00:08:53.346 --> 00:08:53.567
I love it.

00:08:53.567 --> 00:09:03.745
I love it when celebrities are like good people you know exactly and I feel like anybody who's coming to an event like that like they are, like just genuinely good people and it's.

00:09:03.866 --> 00:09:10.769
it was cool because I don't think a lot of people expected them to be as personable as engaging.

00:09:10.769 --> 00:09:19.783
They weren't off to the side in a green room and coming, they were just amongst people and that was the really beautiful part of it.

00:09:19.783 --> 00:09:25.649
They were, you know, I think Jasmine Guy was giving somebody dating tips at her table.

00:09:25.649 --> 00:09:28.609
You know, it was just like it was cool man.

00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:33.289
It's like I wish I had been able to ask Jasmine how do I find my Dwayne Wayne?

00:09:33.289 --> 00:09:39.409
Oh God, dwayne, uh, low key facts, low key facts.

00:09:39.409 --> 00:09:42.529
Jaquita had a huge crush on Dwayne Wayne.

00:09:42.529 --> 00:09:43.802
I was looking for my.

00:09:43.802 --> 00:09:45.525
I don't know, I like him a little nerdy.

00:09:45.525 --> 00:09:46.828
I was looking for my.

00:09:46.828 --> 00:09:51.927
I was looking for my Dwayne Wayne, okay, except I wasn't.

00:09:52.106 --> 00:09:59.474
I was not at all Whitley Like, not even a little bit, but with um, with Jasmine guy, nothing like Whitley.

00:09:59.614 --> 00:10:01.365
Oh no, she has said that repeatedly.

00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:07.609
She's like not at all, she's, no, it's, but which is which speaks to her talent.

00:10:07.609 --> 00:10:16.360
Like I, it's so fascinating how people can just turn into other people like yeah, just you just flip and it's like yo, you thought there were this person, and then they're not see what I did there.

00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:18.528
You see what I did, you see where I'm going, you see what's happening.

00:10:18.808 --> 00:10:19.580
You do not catching it.

00:10:19.580 --> 00:10:23.625
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

00:10:23.625 --> 00:10:29.754
Today, friends, we are talking about personality.

00:10:29.754 --> 00:10:37.793
All right, pretty good, yeah, since Ruth want to do transitions now she thought she was smooth too.

00:10:37.793 --> 00:10:44.865
Y'all she was like no, you're not smooth if you have to say see what I did, you see, did you see that's not smooth?

00:10:44.865 --> 00:10:47.960
Um, but listen, we really see what I did, you see, did you see that's not smooth.

00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:49.423
But listen, we really want to talk about personalities.

00:10:49.423 --> 00:10:52.553
Personalities is one of my absolute favorite things to talk about.

00:10:52.553 --> 00:11:02.672
When I first found the test we're talking about today, the Myers-Briggs type indicator, I really aggravated my friends very much, very much.

00:11:02.692 --> 00:11:05.960
Very much Very much about all things, personality.

00:11:06.441 --> 00:11:09.306
I was really deep in there for like at least five years.

00:11:09.306 --> 00:11:14.782
It was a consistent theme of anything I had to say about anything.

00:11:14.782 --> 00:11:16.485
Um, because it was.

00:11:16.485 --> 00:11:42.283
It was such a a groundbreaking experience for me to learn that I was okay, like that, who I was, had meaning and had significance, and that, like I wasn't the first person ever to be like this and that you know, like at the end of all of the tests, they tell you the famous people who have your personality type and I was like see what y'all don't realize.

00:11:42.283 --> 00:11:44.168
See is that like I got.

00:11:44.168 --> 00:11:48.923
I think I had like a Robin Williams, you know, and I was like everybody love Robin Williams.

00:11:48.923 --> 00:11:50.405
You know what I'm saying.

00:11:50.405 --> 00:11:54.614
You love him, you love me, you know so, wow, really big leap.

00:11:55.440 --> 00:11:56.221
That was a big leap.

00:11:56.221 --> 00:11:57.701
Okay, you leapt.

00:11:58.001 --> 00:11:59.903
Too much, too much, too much.

00:11:59.903 --> 00:12:12.913
But I'm saying, though, it gave me like a OK like, because I think and we'll talk about this a little bit like what it means to fit in a mold versus really coming into yourself.

00:12:12.913 --> 00:12:18.618
But if you don't know what the mold is, have you ever seen where people are putting on like Facebook?

00:12:18.618 --> 00:12:25.184
I see this a lot People are putting like pictures of cookie molds and they're like what is this?

00:12:25.184 --> 00:12:27.711
Because if you're looking at a cookie mold, you really can't tell that this is supposed to be.

00:12:27.711 --> 00:12:38.294
You know, like, of course, we know the gingerbread man, and if you do a heart, but if you do Santa going down the chimney and you're just looking at the shape of it, nobody knows what that is.

00:12:38.294 --> 00:12:47.868
But if you don't have the mold, you don't have the shape of it, and so I feel like personality gives us the shape of who we are, and then we can begin to fill in the mold.

00:12:47.868 --> 00:12:48.971
What's supposed to be in there?

00:12:49.860 --> 00:12:59.181
So, so this season, y'all, what we're going to do is we're going to break down different personality assessments because, you know, we're, we're, we're here, unlearning, right.

00:12:59.181 --> 00:13:25.405
I mean, at the end of the day, this is what this, this with this whole podcast, is about is unlearning things, and I think we've become like and some in a good way and some in a not so good way just very obsessed with ourselves, right, we're obsessed with finding who we are, our identities, answering questions about ourselves, somebody telling me, you know, tell him getting more information about how I am, naturally, and all that stuff, which is really a beautiful thing.

00:13:25.405 --> 00:13:26.087
I think it's important.

00:13:26.087 --> 00:13:27.780
You need to be self-aware, we need to know ourselves.

00:13:28.582 --> 00:13:40.294
And uh, we can't use those things as an excuse to just stay stuck in who we are, um, and so we have to like that unlearning process.

00:13:40.294 --> 00:13:44.586
Get anything you, anything you're trying to unlearn, first begins with unlearning yourself.

00:13:45.389 --> 00:13:58.572
And so you have to unlearn parts of yourself so that then you can create a path of growth for you and to become different in the next season and therefore become more free.

00:13:58.572 --> 00:14:00.681
And so that's what we want to really like.

00:14:00.681 --> 00:14:04.870
Lean into this season is talking about all these different assessments.

00:14:04.870 --> 00:14:09.168
Some you may have heard of, some maybe you haven't, and we're going to take them.

00:14:09.168 --> 00:14:15.071
So we're going to have our results, we're going to talk a little bit about them and then just kind of share.

00:14:15.071 --> 00:14:33.785
You know from a personal perspective and then like from a global perspective, how this thing looks when it when you evolve more into who you are and understand how to grow outside of what your natural preference might be Like.

00:14:33.785 --> 00:14:39.201
I've always I want to take us into a tangent, but it's just it's coming to my mind.

00:14:39.201 --> 00:14:46.735
This is always like stuck with me, just from a biblical perspective, this idea of was it 2 Corinthians 5?

00:14:46.735 --> 00:14:48.881
Nope, 12.

00:14:48.881 --> 00:14:51.727
Oh man, 2 Corinthians 5, 17.

00:14:51.748 --> 00:14:52.710
I think it's 12.

00:14:52.710 --> 00:14:54.033
Are you talking about the gifts?

00:14:54.539 --> 00:14:57.528
Nope, I'm talking about the new preacher.

00:14:57.528 --> 00:14:58.410
It's five.

00:15:00.600 --> 00:15:01.462
Five and seven maybe.

00:15:02.244 --> 00:15:03.126
Nope, that's not it.

00:15:03.126 --> 00:15:04.870
That's not good y'all actually.

00:15:04.870 --> 00:15:05.873
I mean, it's fine for me.

00:15:05.873 --> 00:15:06.522
I'm not the preacher.

00:15:06.522 --> 00:15:07.202
Quita should know this.

00:15:07.202 --> 00:15:07.845
I'm just kidding.

00:15:07.845 --> 00:15:10.711
Um is second corinthians.

00:15:10.711 --> 00:15:17.687
The offense on your face, the uh, don't be outing me.

00:15:17.687 --> 00:15:21.613
Yeah, so so it's in chapter five.

00:15:21.613 --> 00:15:31.011
But anyway, um, it says if any, if any, if any person be in Christ, he's a new creature.

00:15:31.011 --> 00:15:33.123
The old things have passed away, the new have come right.

00:15:33.123 --> 00:15:34.967
A lot of you may have heard that.

00:15:34.967 --> 00:15:36.130
If you haven't, that's what it is.

00:15:36.130 --> 00:15:51.664
We're going to get the verse here in a second, but that's always stuck with me because I've all that's that the tension of how my natural preferences are versus how I am when I become a new creature is like I don't.

00:15:51.664 --> 00:15:54.779
There's a tension there and it should be Like.

00:15:54.779 --> 00:15:58.025
That's not a bad, that is a good thing, it's good to understand.

00:15:58.025 --> 00:15:59.523
Second Corinthians 5.17,.

00:15:59.523 --> 00:16:00.125
We were close.

00:16:00.365 --> 00:16:00.966
I was close.

00:16:00.966 --> 00:16:02.370
Yeah, I knew it was a seven.

00:16:02.811 --> 00:16:03.352
Yeah, very good.

00:16:03.352 --> 00:16:15.854
So we, I think, and so I know for those of you that are Jesus followers, I think this is a good, um kind of thing to remember is like I was born a certain way.

00:16:15.854 --> 00:16:17.506
We were all born certain way.

00:16:17.506 --> 00:16:20.600
We have certain traits we have, and it's a gift God had put that in us.

00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:29.947
And when I decide to allow something else to lead my life not just my, my natural preferences don't lead me anymore.

00:16:29.947 --> 00:16:32.475
Um, jesus leads me.

00:16:32.575 --> 00:16:45.072
Therefore, I'm in a different, I have to move a different way and it gets my natural way, then it it puts me in a I have to make some decisions to say which one do I give more attention to?

00:16:45.072 --> 00:16:46.042
Do I give more attention to?

00:16:46.042 --> 00:16:47.405
Like my own preference?

00:16:47.927 --> 00:16:48.447
or do I give an?

00:16:48.488 --> 00:16:53.660
attention to a preference on a different path, that that's going to cause some tension, right.

00:16:54.322 --> 00:16:55.965
And so as that.

00:16:56.004 --> 00:17:01.455
From that perspective, that has also been a reason like my motivation for understanding this.

00:17:01.455 --> 00:17:05.045
And then like, where do I need to really understanding this?

00:17:05.045 --> 00:17:07.628
And then like, where do I need to really, where I need to make some adjustments?

00:17:07.628 --> 00:17:20.905
Right, Like, because I don't, I'm I'm choosing a different path, so I'm choosing to, I'm choosing to step out of my own preferences towards something higher and that's going to stretch me.

00:17:20.905 --> 00:17:21.326
So, like, what do?

00:17:21.688 --> 00:17:23.070
I need to unlearn about me.

00:17:23.070 --> 00:17:33.481
Yeah, not to keep and stay in the preaching vein, but it's just been something that's been heavy on me like the last week or so is 1 Corinthians I guess we're just in Corinthians today.

00:17:33.481 --> 00:17:46.423
1 Corinthians 13, I believe it's verse 11, says when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things.

00:17:46.423 --> 00:17:51.967
And I think a lot of times we relegate child and man being to age.

00:17:51.967 --> 00:18:09.577
But there are things in your life that you are just underdeveloped in, that you haven't had that, you haven't encountered the need to have to elevate, mature, shift and move into the next season of your life in that area.

00:18:09.577 --> 00:18:19.095
And you have to look at how did I speak, how did I understand and how did I think in that area of my life so that I can shift into this next season.

00:18:19.095 --> 00:18:29.095
And, like I was telling you guys, I just recently got a new job and it is causing me to have to speak, to understand and to think differently about myself.

00:18:29.580 --> 00:18:39.595
And I think that when we're talking about things like personality and all of these different assessments that we're going to be talking about it is the information is only the beginning piece of it.

00:18:39.595 --> 00:18:46.740
Right, getting the information of who you are and how you operate, and like getting, like the revelation Right.

00:18:46.740 --> 00:19:04.970
Revelation is great, but if you don't apply it, if you don't, if you don't make that revelation active in the way that you are engaging yourself, the way that you're engaging relationships, the way that you're engaging work, the way that you're engaging ministry, then you're not actually getting the benefit of the information.

00:19:04.970 --> 00:19:10.980
You just have knowledge.

00:19:10.980 --> 00:19:15.352
And if we don't take knowledge and put it into performance, we don't see the production of what we're, of what we're trying to do.

00:19:15.352 --> 00:19:17.762
And so I would.

00:19:17.762 --> 00:19:38.567
I think a lot of what we're going to talk about is how the knowledge of these assessments have played out in our lives and how we've had to kind of shift and redirect and unlearn some things based off of what we learned and unlearn some things about what we have learned as well.

00:19:39.429 --> 00:19:41.353
Yes, correct, correct, correct, Okay.

00:19:41.353 --> 00:19:45.530
So today we are, we're digging into the Myers-Briggs.

00:19:45.530 --> 00:19:50.609
And so, like Queda said, did you you got like a certification in this?

00:19:50.609 --> 00:19:52.614
Yes, like a Myers-Briggs.

00:19:53.900 --> 00:19:58.192
No, I, but I did teach freshman seminar classes that I taught for seven years.

00:19:58.740 --> 00:20:01.028
And this was like you deserve a certification then.

00:20:01.220 --> 00:20:02.102
There's no certification.

00:20:02.102 --> 00:20:04.465
I mean, there is a Myers-Briggs certification certification.

00:20:04.486 --> 00:20:13.865
I do not have it, but I have taught it for many years so she's, she's, she's an expert and so, um, I, we, we want to talk about the.

00:20:13.865 --> 00:20:18.037
So can you, can you kind of describe this assessment?

00:20:18.037 --> 00:20:23.106
You know, briefly, just so people, a lot of you probably heard about it, but you may not, you may not have.

00:20:23.106 --> 00:20:27.934
So just describe it a little bit, what it's talking about and all that stuff.

00:20:28.180 --> 00:20:30.384
All right, I'm gonna give you a very brief overview.

00:20:30.384 --> 00:20:34.693
Ok, so Myers-Briggs is a, an assessment.

00:20:34.693 --> 00:20:47.901
It was developed by two sister in laws who kind of took together some psychology based understandings of what identity is and they broke it down into four sections.

00:20:47.901 --> 00:20:51.829
Right, the first section introvert versus extrovert.

00:20:51.829 --> 00:20:54.624
Right, and it's not about whether or not you like being around people.

00:20:54.624 --> 00:20:56.930
It's about how you get your energy.

00:20:56.930 --> 00:20:58.320
Where you get it from.

00:20:58.320 --> 00:21:00.971
Do you get your energy from being in social settings?

00:21:00.971 --> 00:21:03.981
Some of you like being in social settings, but it is actually depleting your energy.

00:21:03.981 --> 00:21:04.034
Right?

00:21:04.034 --> 00:21:04.582
You're spending energy in social settings.

00:21:04.582 --> 00:21:05.871
Some of you like being in social settings, but it is actually depleting your energy.

00:21:05.871 --> 00:21:12.463
Right, you're spending energy in social settings, whereas extroverts are gaining energy in social settings.

00:21:12.463 --> 00:21:12.763
Right?

00:21:12.763 --> 00:21:18.863
Introverts are really kind of really mind-based, memory-based, observant.

00:21:18.863 --> 00:21:24.342
Right, really trying to understand what's going on in their mind, whereas extroverts are really interested in.

00:21:24.342 --> 00:21:26.546
How am I engaging with my outside world?

00:21:26.546 --> 00:21:27.146
Right?

00:21:27.406 --> 00:21:31.794
The second dichotomy is how do I receive information?

00:21:31.794 --> 00:21:32.355
Right?

00:21:32.355 --> 00:21:33.383
Am I a sensor?

00:21:33.383 --> 00:21:36.192
Am I using my five senses to receive information?

00:21:36.192 --> 00:21:52.923
Am I more intuitive and I'm picking up on patterns and theoretical ideas that I'm streaming together without realizing it, and that's how I'm receiving information that is often unseen or unnoticed by people who are not kind of getting those intuitive gut hunches right.

00:21:52.923 --> 00:21:56.530
The next one is how do I like to make decisions, right?

00:21:56.530 --> 00:21:58.721
Am I a thinker or am I a filler?

00:21:58.721 --> 00:21:59.262
Right?

00:21:59.262 --> 00:22:07.529
Do I prefer to make solutions that are based off of logic and reason, or do I prefer to make decisions that are people and value and reason, or do I prefer to make decisions that are people and value-based right?

00:22:07.710 --> 00:22:13.307
Thinkers are going to be really good at solving problems because they can take the people out and just solve the problem.

00:22:13.307 --> 00:22:22.933
Feelers are going to want to find solutions that work for everybody around the table and may not prioritize the actual problem itself, right?

00:22:22.933 --> 00:22:27.442
And then, of course, the last one is is how do I kind of orient myself in the world?

00:22:27.442 --> 00:22:35.531
Am I a judger, which means I like to make decisions, I like to plan, I'm organized and I'm structured, or am I a perceiver?

00:22:35.632 --> 00:22:47.010
My mind is always constantly thinking through the possibilities of the thing, so I don't actually like to make decisions, because that's a little stressful, because my mind is not deciding between one and two.

00:22:47.010 --> 00:22:52.071
My mind is deciding between all the possibilities of one and all the possibilities of two.

00:22:52.071 --> 00:22:57.501
Right, they tend to be more casual, go with the flow, flexible, right, and they can.

00:22:57.501 --> 00:23:07.088
Often they're really good at ideating, really good at saying, hey, well, if this happens, x, y and Z, and if that happens X, y and Z Meanwhile the judger has moved on, right?

00:23:07.088 --> 00:23:19.614
The judger is they're quicker, where perceivers tend to be a little bit more thoughtful and intentional and can be a little bit slower in how they respond to things, right?

00:23:19.614 --> 00:23:46.492
So all of those kind of ideas come together to give you a four letter personality type, right, that you can actually, if you guys go to 16personalitiescom and we'll make sure we write that somewhere in the caption 16personalitiescom will give you a free assessment and it will give you kind of the write-up of what your four preferences are within each of those different dichotomies.

00:23:47.575 --> 00:23:49.766
Wow, you're really good at this.

00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:51.584
I've been doing it a long time.

00:23:51.644 --> 00:23:52.587
I've never sat.

00:23:52.587 --> 00:23:55.660
You know, I've never been in one of Queda's classes, so I'm just sitting here.

00:23:55.901 --> 00:23:57.846
You actually have, I have.

00:23:57.926 --> 00:23:58.730
Oh, I have yeah.

00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:00.242
I taught Angel Street.

00:24:01.145 --> 00:24:05.320
Oh yeah, that's right, I was in it but I street.

00:24:05.340 --> 00:24:06.405
Oh yeah, that's right, I was in it, but I wasn't in it.

00:24:06.425 --> 00:24:08.977
As a student, you know, I'm saying, oh okay, I'm not gonna sit here, so I was paying attention.

00:24:08.977 --> 00:24:11.105
I'm probably doing some milk, so, uh, that's, that's no you.

00:24:11.105 --> 00:24:13.433
You you did that well, okay, cool, thank you.

00:24:13.433 --> 00:24:14.257
All right.

00:24:14.257 --> 00:24:22.691
So I think it's important to know this me and quita are exact opposites, exact opposites in Exact opposites.

00:24:23.111 --> 00:24:24.613
In our letter combinations.

00:24:24.613 --> 00:24:33.510
Okay, and as you were kind of describing each letter combination, because I think part of that being opposite piece and I remember doing this.

00:24:33.510 --> 00:24:44.982
I've taken this test several times, but is what which, like opposite letter, gives me the most tension, it drives me the most crazy.

00:24:45.022 --> 00:24:47.008
Like it, just it drives me the most crazy Right.

00:24:47.008 --> 00:24:49.826
It depends on the day Sometimes for me it's pretty.

00:24:49.885 --> 00:24:58.866
it's pretty consistent, Like the thing that I think it any the P, the, the, the the decision.

00:24:58.866 --> 00:25:03.961
Oh man, oh, it drives me absolutely crazy and um, but it was just funny.

00:25:03.961 --> 00:25:07.561
Like I'm hearing you describe it and I'm like, yeah, the judger has absolutely moved on.

00:25:07.561 --> 00:25:12.584
I am gone Like you are taking entirely too long making a decision, right.

00:25:13.163 --> 00:25:23.928
So, okay, so just to give our full letters right, I am an ENFP, right, and we could talk a little bit more about what that means.

00:25:23.928 --> 00:25:44.193
But I'm an ENFP, which means I'm extroverted, I'm intuitive, I'm a feeler and I am a perceiver right, the casual go with the flow, but my mind is constantly thinking through possibilities, right, and I hate making decisions, absolutely hate making them Right.

00:25:44.193 --> 00:25:54.596
Ruth Abigail, my dear, dear friend, whom I have loved so much for the last 20 years, right, huh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:54.596 --> 00:25:59.419
She is an ISTJ, which means she's introverted.

00:25:59.419 --> 00:26:08.347
She's a censor, right, which means that she is the information that she's processing and going through is a little bit more concrete.

00:26:08.347 --> 00:26:13.869
Right, she's a thinker, which means she's logical and rational and likes to like solve problems.

00:26:13.869 --> 00:26:23.990
Right, and she's a judger, which means she likes to make plans and make decisions and have, she likes to have her outside world organized.

00:26:23.990 --> 00:26:27.035
Yep, so yeah, for sure.

00:26:27.859 --> 00:26:40.441
Yeah, and so let's talk a little bit about what, because Quido, you and I were talking earlier and how we kind of approached this when we first had it, when I took it.

00:26:40.441 --> 00:26:42.749
So I took, I did a leadership development class and this is one of the things we did so 2018.

00:26:42.749 --> 00:26:45.680
And so I took, I did a leadership development class and this is one of the things we did so 2018.

00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:50.426
And so I have my results right here and I look at these often because they're not.

00:26:50.426 --> 00:26:52.732
They're it's still very similar, right?

00:26:52.732 --> 00:26:55.526
I've taken it several times.

00:26:55.526 --> 00:27:13.809
I get ISTJ every time, and this one in particular really kind of not just gave you the letters, but gave you, like the range on which you were, that particular letter, which I think was one of the most insightful things for me personally, because it helped me to.

00:27:13.809 --> 00:27:21.344
It helped me to see myself outside of what my initial perception was of these letters.

00:27:21.684 --> 00:27:21.984
Okay.

00:27:22.486 --> 00:27:29.145
And so I think like let's let's deal with the introvert first, because you said something interesting.

00:27:29.145 --> 00:27:32.563
A lot of times when we hear introvert, we see this all over like social media.

00:27:32.563 --> 00:27:35.130
You got TikToks introvert, extrovert, introvert, extrovert right.

00:27:35.130 --> 00:27:38.824
You got, you know, all these different memes talking about introvert versus extrovert.

00:27:38.824 --> 00:27:46.374
And so you know, we, we, we like to describe ourselves as introverts and extroverts.

00:27:46.374 --> 00:27:50.644
Introverts basically want to be in the house, extroverts want to be at a party.

00:27:50.644 --> 00:28:00.228
You know that kind of thing, and that was always very, it's very limiting, it's a very limited understanding.

00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:06.141
And what you said was it's not even about whether and we make it about being around people Like.

00:28:06.141 --> 00:28:07.125
I like being around people.

00:28:07.125 --> 00:28:10.969
I don't like being around people and it's not that Right.

00:28:10.969 --> 00:28:12.547
So it's an energy thing.

00:28:12.547 --> 00:28:12.840
It's.

00:28:12.840 --> 00:28:13.643
It's how.

00:28:13.643 --> 00:28:15.549
What energizes you more.

00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:23.013
Does being around people energize you more or does being kind of alone energize you more?

00:28:23.013 --> 00:28:28.525
It doesn't mean that you don't like, because even you and I have talked, right, you're like I need my alone time.

00:28:28.525 --> 00:28:33.804
Right, because there was a time where I just you, you and being alone did not.

00:28:33.804 --> 00:28:38.660
I didn't see that like I was like, I didn't see that that was important to you.

00:28:38.660 --> 00:29:02.349
I remember like, oh my god, saying that and like, oh, I didn't know that she cared about being alone, whereas I, it's like I can totally be by myself, I have no problem, and so, anyway, I think that that was understanding that there's a range to certain things, and understanding what things actually are talking about really helped me to understand me better.

00:29:02.349 --> 00:29:09.569
And then, once you understand yourself, then you can understand where you can go from there, right, you have to know where you actually are.

00:29:09.630 --> 00:29:13.807
And so for that introvert piece, this is what really got me Like I was kind of tripped out about it.

00:29:13.807 --> 00:29:23.892
We had like a there's like a grid and my, my introversion is is is in the slight category.

00:29:23.892 --> 00:29:32.125
I am slightly introverted, which shocked me, but then I thought about it I was like, not really right, so I'm not.

00:29:32.125 --> 00:29:40.866
I definitely there's a part of me that gets energized from being around people in the way I like being around people which could be very different than you.

00:29:40.866 --> 00:30:10.392
And so what that does is when I understand that then I don't put myself in a box, because sometimes I felt like I was in a box and it's like, oh, this is just who I am, and I definitely had that thought process of as an introvert, this is who I am, and it's like then you're conflicted because it's like, yeah, but I'm doing a lot of these things which feels very opposite of what this is.

00:30:10.392 --> 00:30:12.484
And then you have an introvert, you're not an introvert.

00:30:12.505 --> 00:30:18.684
I'm like, yes, I am an introvert we had this, you know this argument back and forth, but I'm an introvert, I'm not.

00:30:18.684 --> 00:30:20.846
I'm not an extreme introvert.

00:30:20.846 --> 00:30:23.790
Right, and I do.

00:30:23.790 --> 00:30:31.631
I can find energy in being around people at some level Doesn't mean that I'm to the level that you are Right.

00:30:31.631 --> 00:30:36.083
So like those nuances are really important and you don't.

00:30:36.083 --> 00:30:42.500
It's the box thing, like don't, we can't live in a box and I think some of us get real comfortable in that box.

00:30:42.520 --> 00:30:46.684
Yeah, I think that a couple of things that came to mind as you were talking.

00:30:46.684 --> 00:31:01.116
Like one, these are man made, like scientific tests that have boxes, because that is how we compartmentalize information by making categories Right.

00:31:01.116 --> 00:31:06.942
But these are categories that we have made, not that our creator have made right we are.

00:31:06.942 --> 00:31:13.013
We are simply trying to give expression to what we have observed, right.

00:31:13.013 --> 00:31:19.792
And so, yes, in this test there is introvert and extrovert, but it doesn't give.

00:31:19.792 --> 00:31:25.432
You're not going to get the full understanding of who you are and who and how you operate from the test.

00:31:25.432 --> 00:31:32.134
It is going to be the starting of your understanding yourself and not the full explanation.

00:31:32.134 --> 00:31:45.468
And I also think, okay, some things that aggravate me, though, after saying that, right, a lot of people I have, introverts who say I just want to be an extrovert, so I'm just going to, like, start acting like an extrovert.

00:31:45.468 --> 00:31:49.470
Baby, you made a certain way, you know, and I'm not.

00:31:49.470 --> 00:31:50.531
This is not.

00:31:50.531 --> 00:31:54.240
I don't want you working against yourself.

00:31:54.240 --> 00:32:02.664
Right, you have to learn to work who you are so that you can show up in a way that fits where you are Right.

00:32:02.664 --> 00:32:04.229
But we try to do the opposite.

00:32:04.229 --> 00:32:10.383
We try to say, for instance, I work in campus or I used to, I'm still.

00:32:10.383 --> 00:32:14.946
It's only been two weeks, y'all, it's only been two weeks.

00:32:14.946 --> 00:32:18.910
But I used to work in campus activities, right?

00:32:18.910 --> 00:32:31.361
You would think that people who work in this field and we're doing events, that we are out there and we are bubbly and we're like, hey guys, how's it going?

00:32:31.361 --> 00:32:38.193
It's so good to see y'all and most of my team were introverts and they could turn it on for a little bit, but that that's not their norm, right?

00:32:38.193 --> 00:32:41.243
I don't need them pretending to be somebody that they're not.

00:32:41.644 --> 00:32:45.109
Personality is about preference, right?

00:32:45.109 --> 00:32:49.823
You prefer introversion or you prefer extroversion.

00:32:49.823 --> 00:32:57.924
That does not mean, in all of these different personality categories, all of us can operate in both, all of us.

00:32:57.924 --> 00:33:04.154
I prefer being an extrovert, but please believe, okay, my personality type ENFP.

00:33:04.154 --> 00:33:13.922
We're actually known as the most introverted of the extroverts because we need a lot of alone time and, if you think about it, right, you can't.

00:33:13.982 --> 00:33:24.740
If you're going around saying I'm an extrovert, I love being around people, right, and you're constantly getting high off of that social energy, you have to come down, right, you're.

00:33:24.740 --> 00:33:26.553
When you are high off of that social energy, you have to come down, right.

00:33:26.553 --> 00:33:27.720
When you are high off of that social energy.

00:33:27.720 --> 00:33:37.685
You're not high off the drugs, but when you are high off of that kind of social sorry, these AirPods, they do what they want to do.

00:33:38.067 --> 00:33:44.150
When you are high off of that kind of like you know I'm engaging with my environment and I'm getting more and more hype.

00:33:44.150 --> 00:33:54.345
Like you know, I'm engaging with my environment and I'm getting more and more hype you are not at a place where you're making the best decisions, where you're thinking clearly and really reflecting over your life.

00:33:54.345 --> 00:34:13.601
You have to come down and get to a space where you are actually kind of at a more reflective, more introverted space, so that you can really begin to really think through, kind of like, okay, what is going on in life right now, whereas when you're engaging you're at that high point, introverts.

00:34:13.601 --> 00:34:16.181
You have to spend your energy Like.

00:34:16.181 --> 00:34:27.851
You cannot just stay in a bubble and just keep getting more and more, you know, in your reserve space and enjoying you Right, that's not the way.

00:34:27.851 --> 00:34:30.224
That's not the way purpose is set up.

00:34:30.224 --> 00:34:34.914
Purpose is not set up where I just enjoy my time all the time.

00:34:34.914 --> 00:34:40.112
That's not and that's why you have personality, but you also have purpose, right.

00:34:40.172 --> 00:34:40.452
So you?

00:34:40.452 --> 00:34:41.340
No.

00:34:41.340 --> 00:34:48.202
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to cut you off, but I think that the preference part of what you're saying is very important, like we don't.

00:34:48.202 --> 00:34:52.960
A lot of times, we don't hear it framed your personality is a preference.

00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:54.222
We hear it more so framed.

00:34:54.242 --> 00:34:59.329
Your personality is who you are and and so it it.

00:34:59.329 --> 00:35:08.121
It lends itself to to be interpreted that this is who I am, lends itself to to be interpreted that this is who I am.

00:35:08.121 --> 00:35:15.820
Therefore, this is how I'll always be, and so that that understanding that it's a preference, I think helps to like that means I can always.

00:35:15.820 --> 00:35:18.085
I can choose different, right?

00:35:18.085 --> 00:35:19.268
I can't.

00:35:19.268 --> 00:35:21.512
I am capable of choosing something different.

00:35:21.512 --> 00:35:24.050
So then it doesn't become an excuse.

00:35:24.050 --> 00:35:35.550
Your personality is not an excuse for you to just live in your preferences, because if you are listening to this podcast, you likely are somebody who wants to grow, you wanna unlearn.

00:35:35.550 --> 00:35:52.036
Therefore, you have a healthy relationship with purpose, and if you have a healthy relationship with purpose, whatever that might be, then you are required to move differently than your preference.

00:35:52.577 --> 00:35:53.579
You are required to do that.

00:35:53.579 --> 00:35:58.456
The way I always teach it is personality is about preference.

00:35:58.456 --> 00:36:03.757
Maturity will often require you to go against your preference, right?

00:36:03.757 --> 00:36:04.606
I have a lot of.

00:36:04.606 --> 00:36:07.155
You know, when I was teaching undergrad students.

00:36:07.155 --> 00:36:11.916
I have a lot of students who say, oh, I'm just, I don't like speaking in front of a room.

00:36:11.916 --> 00:36:16.255
You know, I'm an introvert, so I just don't like getting in front of people.

00:36:16.255 --> 00:36:17.925
And it's well.

00:36:18.186 --> 00:36:44.056
If you want the opportunities that come with what you say your career path is, or what you say your place of purpose is, you are going to have to go against your preference, and I don't think that there's anyone on this earth that is not going to have to learn to go against what they've become comfortable being, right, and this is not to say I believe personality is a gift.

00:36:44.056 --> 00:36:55.139
I believe personality is part of what God has created inside of us, right, but I also believe that we have not yet realized all of who we are.

00:36:55.139 --> 00:36:56.400
You know what I'm saying.

00:36:56.400 --> 00:37:04.385
Like, the different things you go through in life will pull out different pieces of you that have to engage and interact differently, right.

00:37:04.385 --> 00:37:12.268
And so when I say maturity will require you to go against your preference, for instance, the job I have now is much more administrative.

00:37:12.268 --> 00:37:23.311
I'm doing policy review and sitting down and thinking through just really administrative things versus where before.

00:37:23.311 --> 00:37:33.949
I was very much more transformative conversations for transformative conversations, mentoring, guiding still have some of that, but way more admin.

00:37:33.969 --> 00:37:39.599
My P, my perceiver, my flexible, casual, go with the flow self and my filler, my.

00:37:39.599 --> 00:37:46.612
I want to make values-based, people-based decisions versus more focusing on problem decisions.

00:37:46.612 --> 00:37:58.556
That does not always jive well with administrative roles, but there is a piece, there is a way that I can do this that will still work for me.

00:37:58.556 --> 00:38:02.289
I don't have to pretend to be somebody else to be good at my job.

00:38:02.289 --> 00:38:18.273
I just got to figure out how do I, with my extroverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving self, make this work in a context that I can be transformative in the space, since I know that that's part of my purpose everywhere that I go.

00:38:18.273 --> 00:38:20.913
And so learning how, not learning?

00:38:20.913 --> 00:38:26.550
I'm not asking you to change, I'm asking you to shift, and those are different.

00:38:26.550 --> 00:38:28.251
We're not asking you to change who you are.

00:38:28.251 --> 00:38:35.119
We're asking you to shift in how you speak, understand and think about where you are.

00:38:36.525 --> 00:38:54.250
And I think we're also asking you to become aware of where you are For sure, understand, because I think a lot of us, again, a lot of people who are interested in growth, change, unlearning, shifting your mindset we're moving, we're constantly moving.

00:38:54.250 --> 00:39:11.452
All the time it's not a in some way right, because we're kind of hungry for that, and so sometimes when you do that, you don't have time to stop and process and you don't even realize some of this you probably are doing, but you don't really know why, you don't really know how, and it's just kind of coming.

00:39:11.452 --> 00:39:15.896
And there is a point where you have to move from intensity to intentionality.

00:39:15.896 --> 00:39:34.554
And I think that when we are in our stages of, just like, we're moving, we're doing what we do, we're growing, we're cheering, we're pursuing purpose, all this stuff, it's intense, and then you start to learn a little bit more, you gain more more, you gain more knowledge, you gain more understanding and now we get to be intentional.

00:39:34.554 --> 00:39:42.222
So now with you, queen, I think what you said was a great example of the shift in your job.

00:39:42.222 --> 00:39:43.025
It's really interesting.

00:39:44.686 --> 00:39:53.905
My role I've always, in the back of my mind, been like how did I end up working in ministry with kids?

00:39:53.905 --> 00:39:56.110
How did I get here?

00:39:56.110 --> 00:40:02.619
Because nothing about my personality type says work with young people.

00:40:02.619 --> 00:40:04.025
That doesn't.

00:40:04.025 --> 00:40:08.356
It just doesn't right, and so I've always been like how did I get here?

00:40:08.356 --> 00:40:10.306
I believe I was through the God-ordained thing.

00:40:10.306 --> 00:40:15.733
But one of the things and even now I do love people I used to say I don't like people.

00:40:15.733 --> 00:40:16.434
That's not true.

00:40:16.434 --> 00:40:19.880
I do Don't do that, I do I know you do.

00:40:33.505 --> 00:40:37.836
But one of the things though, to your point, I've had to learn as a leader is to learn how to put a little bit more feeler into my decision making, because I am naturally a thinker, again on this assessment.

00:40:37.836 --> 00:40:38.840
So you have, like you know, I I lean heavy.

00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:43.228
I lean slightly towards introversion and slightly towards sensing.

00:40:43.228 --> 00:40:58.496
I lean heavy, heavy towards thinking, and so my natural way of thinking is problems first, people second yeah like and as a leader, that's not sustainable.

00:40:59.217 --> 00:41:31.197
um, because if I don't, if I'm not paying attention to people, whether that's the youth that I get to engage or the team that I have to lead, then the culture is, um, whack right, I don't have, the morale can go down, and I've experienced both of those things as a result of me trying to figure out how to solve a problem and not really necessarily take into account how people are going to be impacted by the way we going to solve this problem, right, um, and, but it is, is my, my preference is let's just get it done.

00:41:31.518 --> 00:41:41.547
Oh, man, like I, um, I would have definitely, uh, I would have definitely been like, hey, y'all, let's, let's, let's, figure something out.

00:41:41.547 --> 00:41:43.112
You know, we still got to make this thing work.

00:41:43.112 --> 00:41:51.027
I'm solving a problem like I'm not really paying too much attention to how people are gonna feel about that, because it's like we, we got, we still got to do.

00:41:51.027 --> 00:41:51.487
We got to do.

00:41:51.487 --> 00:41:52.652
We still got to serve the people.

00:41:52.652 --> 00:41:54.789
We got to give them something that they like, we got to, we got to do.

00:41:54.789 --> 00:41:59.324
You know, all this stuff at the expense of, maybe you know us as people.

00:41:59.324 --> 00:42:02.735
But that's our job, this is our job and I have that mentality.

00:42:02.896 --> 00:42:11.934
Naturally I move like that naturally, but it is not fair for me to put that on other people and I've had to learn how to go against my own preference.

00:42:11.934 --> 00:42:16.025
I'd rather the problem be solved and then me going like crash after.

00:42:16.025 --> 00:42:18.110
That's my preference.

00:42:18.110 --> 00:42:20.695
That's not a lot of people's preference.

00:42:20.695 --> 00:42:59.686
So I had to, I have to figure, I have to grow out of that and so, um, or grow through that, right, I won't say I have to grow through it and I've got to be very conscious about that tendency of mine, and so I just think that's a really like when you said that, when you were talking about like, how you, you know, the administrative role is a little different now and so you have to, you got to find way to to tailor your preferences to this new role, and we have, but it's about maturity, yeah, it's about maturity and starting.

00:42:59.786 --> 00:43:30.460
I think maturity starts with understanding where you are now and understanding what's going to be needed of you and being willing to make the sacrifice be needed of you and being willing to make the sacrifice Right, I was just thinking about it, you know cause I, like I said, you know I really enjoy my alone time and I don't think a lot of people, like people who have been with me for a long time, know that about me, but I feel like some of my, some people who might be newer to the world of Jaquita, may not really get that yet.

00:43:30.460 --> 00:43:35.994
Like, I enjoy the, the come down experience, the.

00:43:35.994 --> 00:44:10.146
I enjoy going into my reflective mode and into my thinking through and my downtime, like because I have to wind down, because when I'm, when I'm around people, I'm always on because I'm also like there's something inside of me that is an entertainer, and around people, I'm always on because I'm also like there's something inside of me that is an entertainer, and so, like I'm always like I'm either entertaining or I'm motivating and inspiring, Like that is, that is what I'm doing when I'm around people, but I need my time to reflect and to think through and to do nothing personally to play the games on my phone.

00:44:10.146 --> 00:44:19.237
And I was sitting on the couch last night and I was like in my nothing mode and I got so much I got going on.

00:44:19.237 --> 00:44:21.068
I got a test on Monday.

00:44:21.068 --> 00:44:28.130
I got some stuff I got to be doing, I got some things places I got to be speaking at, I had this podcast.

00:44:28.130 --> 00:44:29.653
I just got a lot going on.

00:44:29.994 --> 00:44:48.856
I got a lot going on right now and I was sitting on the couch and I was like Jaquita, you are going to have to learn how to be more intentional with your time and it may mean that I'm going to have to sacrifice some of my extroverted time to get more space to do the work, Because I'm not doing the work when I'm social.

00:44:48.856 --> 00:44:52.552
I'm doing a work, but I'm not doing the administrative work.

00:44:52.552 --> 00:44:55.927
The administrative work does not get done in social settings.

00:44:55.927 --> 00:44:59.179
Yeah Right, Transformative work, Absolutely.

00:44:59.179 --> 00:45:01.748
Hey, baby, let me come in, Come in, Let me talk to you real quick.

00:45:01.748 --> 00:45:02.670
I want to help you do this.

00:45:02.911 --> 00:45:11.679
You know like that work gets done as an in my extroverted spaces, but the type of work I'm doing now definitely gets done in a more.

00:45:11.679 --> 00:45:16.496
I'm in this office by myself looking through policies.

00:45:16.496 --> 00:45:21.971
You know and, and and and coming up with ideas of how things need to change and shift.

00:45:21.971 --> 00:45:30.512
Right now I can shape it so that I'm getting to exercise my extroverted thinking a little bit and have conversations about what I'm doing.

00:45:30.512 --> 00:45:34.818
But it's absolutely a shift and that's what I mean.

00:45:34.818 --> 00:45:42.237
But you don't know how to shift if you don't know where you are and if you're not being real about who you are and where you are.

00:45:44.568 --> 00:45:46.271
So how do you deal with people?

00:45:46.271 --> 00:46:02.768
Because I'm sitting here and I, um, I'm remembering a time like early on in our earlier on in our friendship, you know, when we uh, I guess it's after we graduated college and we're like you know, we're in getting into our lives, and there there were, there were seasons where I would call and you wouldn't pick up the phone.

00:46:02.768 --> 00:46:04.835
I'll be like, wait a minute, what's she doing?

00:46:04.835 --> 00:46:15.847
Because Queda is like nah, that's not Queda, like Qu, like Queda be blowing my phone up and like, looking at you, you did, you was blowing my.

00:46:15.847 --> 00:46:19.829
You would call me multiple times a day and I'm like bro, I just don't feel like talking.

00:46:19.869 --> 00:46:23.097
But I know me, that's me, you know what I'm saying, I'm going to do that.

00:46:23.097 --> 00:46:29.253
But you're going to pick up the phone and I remember there was a time, you know, where you just didn't pick up and at first I was concerned.

00:46:29.253 --> 00:46:30.173
I said, well, is she okay?

00:46:30.173 --> 00:46:38.672
And then, and then I was like, hold on, like you don't know, you pick up the phone because you're a people person, I'm not, I had that excuse, right.

00:46:38.672 --> 00:46:42.762
So so I I remember when that happened.

00:46:42.762 --> 00:46:50.518
So my question is I, you had to kind of like put me in check as a friend to be like, yeah, I, I don't want to be talking either.

00:46:50.518 --> 00:46:51.365
And I was like what you mean?

00:46:51.365 --> 00:46:53.452
Like I really thought that was just who you were.

00:46:53.452 --> 00:46:55.516
So how do you help people?

00:46:55.516 --> 00:47:05.418
How do you help people manage their relationships when they're trying to shift into a more mature version of themselves, which might mean people experience them differently?

00:47:06.844 --> 00:47:08.726
That's good.

00:47:08.726 --> 00:47:34.586
I think that I think, when you got real people in your life, you know, I think you have to be able to be honest and say hey, because for me, what I came to realize was that some of my extroversion was also rooted in my people pleasing, was also rooted in my people pleasing, right so and?

00:47:34.586 --> 00:47:36.391
And also rooted in some of my insecurities of not wanting to face myself.

00:47:36.391 --> 00:47:52.088
Because when I was in my extroverted spaces and I'm talking to you and we're talking about what's going on or we're talking about what's you know, like what's happening, like I'm not having to deal with me, right, I'm not having cause, I don't have to reflect on how I'm experiencing things.

00:47:52.088 --> 00:48:01.233
It's an it's it's also an escape, and a lot of people are using either their extroversion or their introversion as an escape.

00:48:01.273 --> 00:48:26.911
That's fair, that's right, yeah, and so for me, the being on the phone 24 seven, like I would wake up calling people throughout my day I'm leaving class calling people, I'm driving home calling people, I'm sitting on the couch on the phone it was an escape because there was so much about me that I didn't want to face um at that period of my life.

00:48:26.911 --> 00:48:49.376
And now, to be honest, if the phone conversations are not like really digging deep and like and understanding ourselves and bettering ourselves and like pushing to the next level of our life, I don't have, like, I'm not interested in that because that's not where I am.

00:48:49.376 --> 00:48:53.536
I'm not looking to escape that's right right into my extroversion anymore.

00:48:53.536 --> 00:48:56.666
Right, because I've grown to accept more of me.

00:48:56.666 --> 00:49:04.530
And so I think that, like, as you are growing in your friendships and you're growing with people, I think that you have to be that.

00:49:04.530 --> 00:49:12.688
I think every, every relationship is just going to have those pullback moments yeah where it's like you know, especially friendships.

00:49:12.748 --> 00:49:29.268
I don't know about marriage, because I ain't been married yet, but I definitely think that, like you, have those pullback moments where it's like, wait, I need, I'm doing this for me, like I need to take a moment, ground myself and really become really comfortable with what's happening in me right now.

00:49:29.268 --> 00:49:31.355
And that may not be for me.

00:49:31.355 --> 00:49:43.797
I had to pull back to do that a little bit, because I needed to stop escaping Um and I and I needed to be, I needed to face me and what was really in me and what was really going on with me.

00:49:43.797 --> 00:49:49.811
You get what I'm saying, whereas for an introvert, I'm interested to know if that was a is a different experience, that's really that's.

00:49:49.952 --> 00:49:53.157
I think that's, um, I think that's really good.

00:49:53.157 --> 00:49:57.710
I definitely think, as an introvert, I have uh, it was.

00:49:57.710 --> 00:50:05.269
It was a little bit of an excuse to avoid vulnerability, for sure, Um, and being transparent and really like cause.

00:50:05.269 --> 00:50:22.554
I, you know, when you can, um, when you just kind of isolate, you know and and and avoid kind of being in spaces where you have to be, where you can't hide a big theme of my premature self was I like to hide?

00:50:22.554 --> 00:50:23.387
Right, I'm, I'm.

00:50:23.648 --> 00:50:23.849
I was.

00:50:23.929 --> 00:50:32.492
I was hiding, and so, um, I use being an introvert as a reason to hide, right, and so it's like, no, I'm introvert, I like being around people.

00:50:32.492 --> 00:50:37.076
I don't want to be in crowds, I don't want to be in public spaces, you know, only when I have to, and all this stuff.

00:50:37.076 --> 00:50:53.248
And it was more so like it's because I really didn't want people to see me, because I was insecure, I wasn't really sure who I was, or I didn't.

00:50:53.248 --> 00:50:55.436
I didn't, I wasn't proud of who I was, and so, um, that, that death, I think that that that escapism is.

00:50:55.456 --> 00:50:56.420
It's the same theme, it just happened differently.

00:50:56.420 --> 00:51:26.543
Um, I was escaping to myself and using my personality as an excuse to do that, but really I just I was hiding, I just didn't want people to, and I think the thing that had to shift for me was, um, I, I had to get, I had to get used to the mature version of me, and you know, I'm saying I had to get used to the ruth abigail, who doesn't hide anymore, um, which, quite frankly, this podcast has helped me to do.

00:51:26.663 --> 00:51:37.693
I think I was doing the work before I started the podcast, but it has has helped because it kind of forces me to be fully who I am and not hide, like it's out here.

00:51:37.693 --> 00:51:38.572
This is who I am.

00:51:38.572 --> 00:51:53.855
And then the response to that is very one of the things that I've always been I don't know why, but really sensitive to is when the attention that you get when something new has happened in your life.

00:51:53.855 --> 00:51:57.094
I don't I'm not a big attention person- You're not.

00:51:57.445 --> 00:52:05.032
I don't and that's genuine, like that's not me hiding, I genuinely I'm just not interested in that much attention and I don't hide from it anymore.

00:52:05.032 --> 00:52:06.425
It's just still not my preference.

00:52:06.425 --> 00:52:09.315
I don't prefer to do that.

00:52:09.315 --> 00:52:15.773
I do it if I feel like I have a reason and for it and it makes sense, I'll do it.

00:52:15.773 --> 00:52:37.996
But if I don't, if that, if I don't have to like I'm cool, like I'm just going to be back here, um, but that newness of like that, wow, kind of like, oh, you know whether it's what I'm wearing, whether it's a new season of my life, whether it's just a different energy that I might bring, that response just makes me uncomfortable.

00:52:37.996 --> 00:52:40.585
I don't like that and so it's been.

00:52:40.786 --> 00:52:57.320
But to your point, the mature path is, regardless of how people respond to you is, regardless of how people respond to you, regardless of how that makes you feel you moving in, that maturity is the is more important.

00:52:57.320 --> 00:52:58.501
And then you end up getting.

00:52:58.501 --> 00:53:10.677
You find, you find your way through that and you get used to it, right, um, and then people begin to you begin to show up in in the more mature way and people get used to that.

00:53:10.677 --> 00:53:13.030
But then there's also the next level.

00:53:13.030 --> 00:53:27.509
I know that there will be another season of maturity where I shift and it's like I have to be um, very uh, I have to, I have to accept how people respond to the next shift.

00:53:27.509 --> 00:53:44.092
Right, like that's that, that is something, and I think again it's, it's a mature mindset, like it's a mature mindset and I just I love that distinction and you got you gotta that maturity is what's going to drive you.

00:53:44.092 --> 00:53:48.409
If you're not interested in being mature, this isn't really for you.

00:53:48.409 --> 00:53:49.112
You know what I mean.

00:53:49.152 --> 00:53:57.099
Like if you're not if you're interested in just kind of remaining at the same level, remaining in the same kind of place in life.

00:53:57.099 --> 00:53:59.349
You know this isn't really for you.

00:53:59.349 --> 00:54:03.856
Like you know, doing this personality stuff isn't probably going to serve you best.

00:54:03.856 --> 00:54:07.047
It's going to keep you stuck, but if that's where you want to be cool.

00:54:07.047 --> 00:54:15.958
But for those of us that want to mature, you know, you know you use sorry this is Ruth Abigail's T and J coming out.

00:54:16.378 --> 00:54:23.652
If you want to be stuck, then this ain't going to really mean nothing to you, but if you want to grow, you need to listen.

00:54:24.353 --> 00:54:25.074
That's hilarious.

00:54:25.074 --> 00:54:54.784
I didn't even connect it to that, but yeah, you're probably right, like I, just that's, just that's crazy, like that t and that j, that thing, right there, okay, so let me go back to this real quick, because I think this feeling thing, because, for those of us who are teased, right, we're thinkers, we're probably like, we're like I, like that problem versus I have always seen the feelers as irrational, um, unthinking, like just impulsive personality type, and see, this is what I have to deal with people.

00:54:56.414 --> 00:55:01.239
I want you, I want you all, to realize that this was me and Ruth.

00:55:01.239 --> 00:55:05.045
That imagine college age, ruth and Jaquita.

00:55:05.045 --> 00:55:07.835
Okay, imagine the judgment.

00:55:07.835 --> 00:55:10.007
Imagine the dynamics.

00:55:10.007 --> 00:55:21.351
Okay, when she saw me as the weaker vessel, oh, man, oh man.

00:55:23.025 --> 00:55:26.637
Oh man, I think you know, but it just you know.

00:55:26.637 --> 00:55:54.518
We didn't know anything about personality when we were in college, but I know that we were always like I'm here to fix you, yeah, okay, because something is wrong, because you need help I can't quite put my finger on it, but you need help and because we didn't realize how different we knew we were like complete opposites, but we didn't know that there was a scientific study that would give us, that would give us, full indication of this.

00:55:54.518 --> 00:55:56.668
But that's so interesting.

00:55:56.668 --> 00:55:59.235
I'm sorry, please go back into your berating of fillers.

00:55:59.965 --> 00:56:02.306
No, sorry, yeah, I needed to say yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:02.306 --> 00:56:03.927
So I I did.

00:56:03.927 --> 00:56:06.730
I've always, I've always had that.

00:56:06.730 --> 00:56:29.068
But the way that you described it in the beginning, when you were talking about each one of these kind of categories, is that feelers really place their values and people, they think about those, before the problem, and that is a very different context than I've ever really considered it.

00:56:29.088 --> 00:56:31.492
Like I said, i'm'm thinking, you know, you don't, you don't, you don't think before you move.

00:56:31.492 --> 00:56:34.918
It's the um, impulsive nature, it's the.

00:56:34.918 --> 00:56:36.748
I just got, I just I.

00:56:36.748 --> 00:56:37.289
It's the.

00:56:37.289 --> 00:56:38.733
I can't explain why.

00:56:38.733 --> 00:56:41.945
Like I don't, that doesn't work for me, like no.

00:56:42.407 --> 00:56:43.367
Oh my gosh Y'all.

00:56:43.367 --> 00:56:54.246
The majority of me and Ruth Abigail's friendship has been me saying something and her saying why explain that what?

00:56:54.246 --> 00:56:55.929
Why would you even do that?

00:56:55.929 --> 00:57:02.394
No, I don't get it and I'm just like girl, just trust me, I know I'm talking about, but I don't know how to talk about what I'm talking about.

00:57:02.394 --> 00:57:04.730
That drives me crazy.

00:57:05.411 --> 00:57:05.913
We had this.

00:57:05.913 --> 00:57:12.909
We had a conversation around like planning for this series and we were talking about a particular thing and I was I made a suggestion and she was like I don't want to do that.

00:57:12.909 --> 00:57:15.030
How we both grow and mature through that.

00:57:15.030 --> 00:57:40.798
Because at the end of that conversation I, against the better parts of me, decided that I was just going to be OK with it.

00:57:40.798 --> 00:57:42.572
I was like, ok, I didn't like that.

00:57:42.572 --> 00:57:45.454
I was like it's like, I didn't like it.

00:57:47.025 --> 00:57:58.925
And I'll say this because just from the opposite side of that, like after that conversation, here's the thing Ruth Abigail can do her processing in the middle of an intense moment, like as we are.

00:57:58.925 --> 00:58:05.086
In the intense moment, she is like here are my thoughts, here are my perceptions, here's what you need to be doing.

00:58:05.086 --> 00:58:07.889
And I don't work like that under pressure.

00:58:07.889 --> 00:58:09.025
See, that's the judger.

00:58:09.025 --> 00:58:12.856
Judges work well under pressure because they like decisions made.

00:58:12.856 --> 00:58:26.195
But I need a moment to step back and process, because I'm not able to fully articulate, especially when there's pressure, like when there's pressure concerning me.

00:58:26.195 --> 00:58:32.286
If there's pressure concerning somebody else's issue, I'm great concerning me.

00:58:32.286 --> 00:58:33.548
If there's pressure concerning somebody else's issue, I'm great.

00:58:33.568 --> 00:59:05.043
But when it's pressure concerning me and something that I'm trying to say about me, I need a moment because my perceiver is also bringing up a lot of fear, and so I am like standing in front of a wall of fear of all of the possibilities of what can happen that I can't express because it is just, it is like pinging off on the inside of me and I can't articulate that to somebody who is like tell me why right now, and I'm like it's so many wise.

00:59:05.043 --> 00:59:22.485
But I will tell you that after that conversation I did have some moments to deescalate, to deescalate and think it through, and we'll have another conversation, but yeah, that's yeah, that's good, but I, but you, even you even alluded to that at the end of it.

00:59:22.585 --> 00:59:33.211
You did, actually, you alluded to it, you was like you didn't believe me, though, and I know, I know you did it she like she said no and that's all it's gonna be.

00:59:33.211 --> 00:59:38.085
And I was just like tell her, ruth Abigail, hey, let me pray about it.

00:59:38.085 --> 00:59:51.586
It don't always work, okay, like she's like no, cause you could have heard the Lord right now and known what you needed to do, and I'm like, well, actually, no, I cannot, and you're going to give me my time.

00:59:51.807 --> 00:59:52.931
It's such a growing.

00:59:52.931 --> 01:00:02.788
It's such a growing moment for me and I'm so grateful to have such close, such a close friend who is so different, because it helps and it helps like even even in being married.

01:00:02.788 --> 01:00:05.773
I mean, um, so my husband has not taken these.

01:00:05.773 --> 01:00:06.974
He won't take these first.

01:00:06.974 --> 01:00:08.777
I mean, he just doesn't like these.

01:00:08.777 --> 01:00:11.385
So I try to, I've tried to get him.

01:00:11.385 --> 01:00:13.371
I will say he took this one early on.

01:00:13.371 --> 01:00:14.074
We were dating.

01:00:14.074 --> 01:00:16.731
Because we were dating, we were still trying to like, impress each other and all this.

01:00:16.751 --> 01:00:17.914
All right, that's a dating tip.

01:00:17.914 --> 01:00:22.155
Get them to take them early, get them to do it while they're still trying to impress.

01:00:22.175 --> 01:00:23.867
You Got to be within six months.

01:00:23.867 --> 01:00:26.713
After that, the new car smells going to wear off and he ain't gonna want to do it no more.

01:00:26.713 --> 01:00:30.581
But if you want to get it done, right, do it in about six months and I bet you'll get some.

01:00:30.581 --> 01:00:32.184
So that's, that's the only one we was able to do.

01:00:32.184 --> 01:00:33.226
He wouldn't do the other ones.

01:00:33.226 --> 01:00:36.210
But, um, we, we, but he.

01:00:36.210 --> 01:00:42.244
He ended up being, weirdly enough, the same one that Cuida is now.

01:00:42.244 --> 01:00:48.635
I'm still not sure that that's totally true, but whatever, um, it probably is.

01:00:48.635 --> 01:00:59.574
But anyway, one of the things that I'm sure that he is is a perceiver, and it drives me crazy, like I.

01:00:59.994 --> 01:01:04.806
I struggle so much after me preparing you for all these years.

01:01:05.146 --> 01:01:30.443
I struggle so much, but I'm grateful to but, but you're right, Like I'm grateful for that preparation because I'm able to be more patient and like, okay, you know, um, you know, one of the things it's like to his his, his, uh version of let's pray about, I'll pray about it, or let me go pray about it, is, um, let's you know, well, let me give me a couple of days.

01:01:30.443 --> 01:01:35.610
Right, that's, that's what he says, right, it's like well, I don't, but I don't understand.

01:01:35.610 --> 01:01:38.693
Like, this is not hard, let's just do this right now, let's get it done.

01:01:46.690 --> 01:01:48.371
Let's make the decision right.

01:01:48.371 --> 01:01:51.914
All right, Okay, so I mean back, and anyway, this is an example for the people.

01:01:51.994 --> 01:01:56.018
All right, if you you know anyway, I want to go back.

01:01:56.338 --> 01:02:10.385
I want to go back real quickly to that filler thinker kind of dichotomy, no-transcript.

01:02:10.385 --> 01:02:21.753
But before learning about personality, I found myself in a place of conformity because a lot of people around me were thinkers and they were telling me you need to be more logical, you need to be used.

01:02:21.753 --> 01:02:38.677
You know, and it was really and I was, it was coming from everywhere and I think that that was just a time period in, like the way thought thinking was happening in the early to mid you know, early 2000s and 2010s are that feelings are not important.

01:02:38.717 --> 01:02:41.206
The information age you know yeah, the information age.

01:02:41.286 --> 01:02:42.992
Nobody cares about your feelings?

01:02:42.992 --> 01:02:48.161
Yeah, right, and so, as a filler, I shut that part of me down.

01:02:48.161 --> 01:03:05.309
I was really trying to shut that part of me down and think, like my logical and rational friends, when I first learned about the personality test and I didn't, I didn't even know this much information about it, right, like I didn't know what it really meant to be a filler.

01:03:05.309 --> 01:03:25.853
I just knew that there was a category called feeling, that I was, that a lot of people were, and that there was a validity to it and that, you know, like it is, there is importance to, not just emotions, because I don't think feelers are more emotional than thinkers.

01:03:25.853 --> 01:03:31.574
I think we might be a little bit more outwardly expressive of those emotions I've had to unlearn that for sure.

01:03:32.115 --> 01:03:33.259
Yeah, like there is.

01:03:33.259 --> 01:03:40.802
There's this ideology that fillers are just bleeding hearts, gushing, oozing emotions, and if you know me, that's not me at all.

01:03:40.802 --> 01:03:43.534
Like I am, you know I.

01:03:43.534 --> 01:03:44.675
I am a.

01:03:44.675 --> 01:03:49.143
I am very heart driven, right, but I am not a cry baby.

01:03:49.143 --> 01:03:50.125
I am not.

01:03:50.125 --> 01:03:56.351
You know, I'm not the person that you know is going to sit and just ooey gooey feel, you know.

01:03:56.351 --> 01:03:59.820
But I am very value centered, right, and.

01:03:59.820 --> 01:04:11.853
But it helped me to, to, to feel empowered, to turn that part of myself on and to stop pretending like I had to be this cold, logical person.

01:04:11.853 --> 01:04:20.702
Because that's how we start putting on masks, we start telling people like, oh yeah, you know I, you know I'm, I'm smart, and if I'm smart, I must be a thinker.

01:04:21.150 --> 01:04:36.682
As if fillers can't be, can't be smart or can't be thinkers, or aren't making good decisions, there are decisions that uh and the the uh example are the activity that I use when I teach personality is.

01:04:36.682 --> 01:04:42.621
I make everyone in the room a CEO and I tell them you know, we've been through some hard times and you got to fire somebody.

01:04:42.621 --> 01:04:45.679
And there's an old man whom everybody loves.

01:04:45.679 --> 01:04:51.382
There's a, like middle aged woman with four kids who gets her job done but doesn't go above and beyond.

01:04:51.382 --> 01:04:55.637
And there's a young whippersnapper and I tell them you have to fire one person, who you firing?

01:04:55.637 --> 01:05:08.014
And you can just see as people are like bouncing back and forth between the logic and reason of how I make that decision and the but what about the people part of that decision.

01:05:08.014 --> 01:05:17.809
And I think that maturity means I can envelop both of those into the ways that I approach my decision making.

01:05:17.809 --> 01:05:21.820
Right, and ultimately, you may make the logical, rational decision.

01:05:21.820 --> 01:05:31.306
But if, as a leader, you cannot address the needs of the people and all you're doing is solving problems, you are going to lose your team.

01:05:31.306 --> 01:05:33.318
You're not going to lose the one person you fired.

01:05:33.318 --> 01:05:33.960
You are going to lose your team.

01:05:33.960 --> 01:05:35.166
You're not going to lose the one person you fired.

01:05:35.166 --> 01:05:35.949
You are going to lose your team.

01:05:35.949 --> 01:05:54.795
And if you are a bleeding heart that people feel like they can't depend on because all you're doing is trying to answer the needs of everybody and you can't see the organization as a whole and help us to come into our next level as a group by, like, really making the hard decisions, somebody has to make the hard decisions that nobody wants to make.

01:05:54.795 --> 01:05:58.581
Yep, right, but you and you might be a filler.

01:05:58.581 --> 01:05:59.784
Who's in that position?

01:05:59.784 --> 01:06:00.932
And you are.

01:06:00.932 --> 01:06:05.882
You are going to have to, but you cannot invalidate who you are in the process.

01:06:05.882 --> 01:06:06.632
That's right.

01:06:06.931 --> 01:06:23.000
Like you, ruth, abigail, as a thinker, like you may have, you may come to all these conclusions of okay, I can't be a thinker in every setting, or I can't use my preference in every setting, but that does not mean who I am is a bad person.

01:06:23.000 --> 01:06:25.117
It just means that I need to shift.

01:06:25.117 --> 01:06:37.699
Before I really accepted and grew in personality, I thought that the things about me that were unlike the people I was around were negative and needed to change.

01:06:37.699 --> 01:06:39.626
Because I was constantly.

01:06:39.626 --> 01:06:47.427
I felt like I was constantly under this threat of if you don't become more like me, you will not succeed.

01:06:47.427 --> 01:06:54.378
Yeah, and so I started trying to become like the people around me because I thought that they were successful.

01:06:54.782 --> 01:06:59.960
Lo and behold, that was their trauma and their issues that were being projected on me.

01:06:59.960 --> 01:07:03.777
That I'm, and now I'm trying to become like your trauma.

01:07:03.777 --> 01:07:06.643
I'm trying to become like your coping mechanism.

01:07:06.643 --> 01:07:17.541
Yeah, right, instead of and it it prevents me, and a lot of us are living this life of imitation that is preventing you from dealing with your own trauma and your own issues.

01:07:17.541 --> 01:07:21.916
Amen, because I can't deal with a me that I'm not allowing to manifest.

01:07:23.159 --> 01:07:28.130
Oh, that's good, that's really good, that's really good, that's good.

01:07:28.130 --> 01:07:39.697
I had to chuckle a little bit when you were talking about the example of the CEO and you have to fire somebody, and here are the three people you're going to fire.

01:07:39.697 --> 01:07:40.496
Who are you going to fire?

01:07:40.496 --> 01:07:42.978
You know, I had made a decision In my head.

01:07:42.978 --> 01:07:44.898
I definitely had Before you.

01:07:44.898 --> 01:07:50.501
Like three seconds after you said it, I was like I'd probably do that and I had this whole.

01:07:50.501 --> 01:07:51.222
Was it the old man?

01:07:51.222 --> 01:07:56.385
Nope, it was the young one and the whippersnapper, which is crazy.

01:07:56.445 --> 01:08:02.568
Right, it's actually not what I was thinking, but I was thinking, you know, there are probably more people that I could find, that could.

01:08:02.568 --> 01:08:08.302
This is literally I could find one of those faster than I could this one who actually is more mature and more experienced.

01:08:08.302 --> 01:08:09.474
So I'm getting rid of that.

01:08:09.474 --> 01:08:10.291
I'm gonna find me a new one.

01:08:10.291 --> 01:08:11.012
That that.

01:08:11.012 --> 01:08:16.452
That that's the exact like way that I, within 10 seconds, I came to that conclusion.

01:08:17.333 --> 01:08:24.434
It's, it's, but that is that that would be if I would, if I would have actually made a decision based on just that.

01:08:24.434 --> 01:08:25.957
That would have been a very immature thing to do.

01:08:25.957 --> 01:08:29.030
Um, and you also.

01:08:29.030 --> 01:08:39.985
That's why, also, you need other people, you gotta, you have to, you have to be in a community of diversity so that you are challenged to shift right.

01:08:39.985 --> 01:08:44.180
So I don't think that that mature moment comes internally.

01:08:44.180 --> 01:08:53.519
It doesn't, it comes externally, because what you don't know, what you don't know, I can't understand what's not naturally in me.

01:08:53.519 --> 01:09:03.474
I need to be connected to people who are different so that I can learn from them and whatever they have can be input in in, they can input into me.

01:09:03.474 --> 01:09:07.301
That then will shift some things that I am now considering.

01:09:07.983 --> 01:09:19.211
Uh, if you're only around people who are like you, and you're only around, or you're only with yourself, or you only trust yourself, you can't, you don't give yourself a chance to mature because you don't even know what you need to to mature.

01:09:19.211 --> 01:09:21.475
You have no, no way of getting that.

01:09:21.475 --> 01:09:25.143
So I, I just, I love, I love that example.

01:09:25.143 --> 01:09:27.190
Um, the.

01:09:27.190 --> 01:09:33.716
What's interesting again, you and I were talking about this earlier the you, you, you felt like you had to conform.

01:09:33.716 --> 01:09:40.595
For me, I felt like I was overly affirmed and I didn't have to change at all.

01:09:40.756 --> 01:09:44.731
And so it's like, hey, you're great at this and you're doing all this stuff.

01:09:44.731 --> 01:09:59.319
I would hear that too much, right, I've heard that too much, especially in my younger years, and it made me believe I'm good, like, so the things about me are just, they're great, so I don't need to really change.

01:09:59.319 --> 01:10:01.439
I might need to, you know, I might.

01:10:01.439 --> 01:10:26.595
I might see some weaknesses that I want to sure up, but for the most part, let me just keep going in this direction, and it has landed me, me not having that, me not having that I won't even say desire, but just knowledge that I needed to change like really put me, as I got older and as I got more responsibility and as I had to do things differently than I was doing before, I had to.

01:10:27.176 --> 01:10:40.802
I made some mistakes that cost me, and now now I'm seeing, oh, no, no, no, no, no, you actually did have many places that you can grow and mature, and now I'm in a much more like.

01:10:40.802 --> 01:10:46.761
Now I'm interested in that and I feel like you know, truly, it's almost now that I'm saying this.

01:10:46.761 --> 01:10:47.703
That's really interesting.

01:10:47.703 --> 01:11:14.971
I never thought about it to this point, but I think that may be one of the reasons I want to start the podcast because I got to a point where I was like I got to unlearn some things and I didn't realize that until now I've been overly affirmed in my world and I'm not, as I'm not as well done as I'd like to have believed as I'd like to have believed.

01:11:14.992 --> 01:11:22.173
There's some things I need to unlearn about, about who I am, about how I move in the world, um, about some, some habits I've formed, about people, about relationships, about all of this stuff.

01:11:22.173 --> 01:11:28.292
Not because what, what it's, not because it was bad, but because it needs to be different in this season.

01:11:28.292 --> 01:11:30.796
I need to be different in this season.

01:11:30.796 --> 01:11:40.279
Yeah Right, it's not that what, how you were, was wrong, but as you move forward, you can't, you can't always keep what you.

01:11:40.279 --> 01:11:42.162
You can't always keep what you had.

01:11:42.162 --> 01:11:59.257
It won't work Like, um, you know, if, if you have it's, it's like, uh, going from a car that needs regular gas to a car that needs diesel, you can't keep the same gas, but like, it's not going to work in your car, and so I'm in a.

01:11:59.257 --> 01:12:06.882
I have a new car, I need a different, uh, I need a different gas, a different level of gasoline in this car, and that's part of this.

01:12:06.882 --> 01:12:09.274
That's part of this process I got to unlearn right.

01:12:09.614 --> 01:12:13.882
So, um, okay, so conformity, and what's the next?

01:12:13.882 --> 01:12:14.703
What's the next phase?

01:12:38.670 --> 01:12:38.890
information.

01:12:38.890 --> 01:12:40.573
Right, and I cannot overemphasize the importance of self-awareness and how.

01:12:40.573 --> 01:12:50.800
The different tests we're going to be talking about are information that is needed in order to again form that mold of who you are and understanding what's inside of me.

01:12:50.800 --> 01:12:54.957
Right, and you got to get access to the information which is why we're going through these tests.

01:12:54.957 --> 01:12:57.634
For me, right, and you gotta, you gotta get access to the information which is why we're going through this test, these tests.

01:12:57.734 --> 01:13:06.340
For me, mbti was the first piece of information that I got about myself that was like, oh okay, extroverted.

01:13:06.340 --> 01:13:11.917
This is why I, like you know being in social settings, right, intuitive.

01:13:11.917 --> 01:13:26.136
This is why I can never explain to Ruth Abigail in concrete terms, you know, how I'm gathering information and why it is really difficult for me to be a practical person, right, a filler.

01:13:26.136 --> 01:13:36.181
This is why I have different ideas of how I approach people in different circumstances, because I'm looking person to person versus problem to problem.

01:13:36.181 --> 01:13:38.796
Right, being a perceiver.

01:13:38.796 --> 01:14:09.381
This is why I get on Ruth Abigail's nerves, Because I don't like to make decisions, because I like to, I like to think and ponder before I move, right, and so it was all of that kind of all together that really just gave me the beginning of knowledge, right, but it wasn't until I took the knowledge and really started applying it and really reflecting.

01:14:09.520 --> 01:14:26.336
Way you reflect, whether that's in discussion with friends, if that's journaling, if that's taking classes, life coaching, counseling, whatever way it is that you take a step back from yourself and really investigate.

01:14:26.336 --> 01:14:40.198
How does the knowledge that I've been gaining and the experiences that I've been walking through, what is that really showing me about how I show up in these different circumstances?

01:14:40.198 --> 01:14:45.677
And once you get through with reflection, then you can begin the process of transformation.

01:14:45.978 --> 01:14:46.439
That's good.

01:14:46.899 --> 01:14:52.002
Right, but you have to reflect on what you've learned and we don't do that enough.

01:14:52.002 --> 01:15:02.614
We don't sit down and actually process information, which is why we don't keep it, because when you think about remembering something, you have to record it first.

01:15:02.614 --> 01:15:09.253
You have to retain it, then you have to be able to retrieve it If you are not recording enough about yourself.

01:15:09.253 --> 01:15:18.445
If all I had recorded was I'm an ENFP and I hadn't recorded I'm an ENFP who shows up in conversations with friends like this.

01:15:18.445 --> 01:15:30.182
I'm an ENFP who, when faced with these different circumstances, show up like this, I would not be retaining enough information to retrieve as I go through different things in my life.

01:15:30.182 --> 01:15:39.092
And we have to make sure that we are reflective because it allows us to have more information that we can pull up about ourselves.

01:15:39.953 --> 01:15:58.012
So I think that is a struggle for a lot of driven people and I say this as a driven person to reflect right, because reflecting means you have to slow down.

01:15:58.012 --> 01:16:05.110
One of the things that I consistently struggle with is slowing my pace down.

01:16:05.110 --> 01:16:09.984
Like I am a fast mover, I like to move fast, like to get things done.

01:16:09.984 --> 01:16:11.748
I like that.

01:16:11.748 --> 01:16:12.431
That is a.

01:16:12.431 --> 01:16:13.936
That's just a.

01:16:13.936 --> 01:16:15.421
That's just who I am right.

01:16:15.421 --> 01:16:17.529
That is a part of my personality, part of why.

01:16:17.550 --> 01:16:18.653
I like to make decisions so quickly.

01:16:18.653 --> 01:16:20.920
It means I can keep moving right.

01:16:20.920 --> 01:16:25.211
But I agree with everything you said.

01:16:25.211 --> 01:16:31.804
It is important If you're going to transform, you have to take time to reflect.

01:16:31.804 --> 01:16:37.061
If you're going to mature, you have to take time to reflect.

01:16:37.061 --> 01:16:46.011
You cannot get caught up in the busyness of growth that you don't take time to actually do what it's going to take to transform.

01:16:46.011 --> 01:16:50.841
So growth is different than transformation.

01:16:50.841 --> 01:16:53.350
It is not the same thing.

01:16:53.350 --> 01:16:54.253
I think we assume.

01:16:54.274 --> 01:16:55.760
I think we assume it is right.

01:16:55.760 --> 01:16:59.578
So when you think about something growing, we have to think it's getting bigger.

01:16:59.578 --> 01:17:02.654
It doesn't mean it's being, it's getting different.

01:17:03.076 --> 01:17:04.279
It's not getting better.

01:17:04.600 --> 01:17:07.073
It's not getting better, but it's also not getting different.

01:17:07.073 --> 01:17:11.302
Like transformation means I'm this and then I'm that.

01:17:11.302 --> 01:17:15.319
Growth means I go from here to there.

01:17:15.319 --> 01:17:18.212
Like it is a, it is a stretch and expansion.

01:17:18.212 --> 01:17:24.452
Like you're, it's the volume is bigger like a balloon, versus transformation is like a butterfly it is.

01:17:24.452 --> 01:17:28.319
It is a caterpillar to a whole different thing.

01:17:28.520 --> 01:17:38.944
Like it's completely different the process a whole different mode of operating whole different mode, yes, whole different mode of operating, because you have a whole new set of tools you had before.

01:17:38.944 --> 01:17:48.654
The only way you get there is if you slow down, go into the cocoon, go into the cocoon, and when you're the cocoon, you can't move you.

01:17:48.654 --> 01:17:50.539
There's no movement, there's just still.

01:17:50.539 --> 01:18:05.087
There's reflection, there's process, there's understanding, there's learning, um, and then you emerge and you have these new tools that give you to do new things like fly, like you can fly and you couldn't fly before that.

01:18:05.087 --> 01:18:10.422
We got people who want to fly that have not slowed down enough to actually gain wings.

01:18:10.422 --> 01:18:11.372
You don't have them.

01:18:11.372 --> 01:18:15.609
So you're, you're over here crawling on the ground as a caterpillar.

01:18:15.609 --> 01:18:16.612
Try to fly.

01:18:16.612 --> 01:18:28.382
You can't do that, and crawling faster won't make your wings come quicker, like you got to stop crawling for a minute and that's something I've really, really had to learn.

01:18:29.289 --> 01:18:31.132
Ruth, make that the clip.

01:18:31.132 --> 01:18:32.154
That's good.

01:18:32.154 --> 01:18:35.740
That's good because that's what we do.

01:18:35.740 --> 01:18:41.385
We try to do more of the same, thinking that that's going to get us to the next level of our life.

01:18:41.385 --> 01:18:44.715
That's right, and the next level of your life is not on the ground, it's in the air.

01:18:45.176 --> 01:18:51.814
It's in the air it's in the air and until you stop and reflect you, you won't see that.

01:18:51.814 --> 01:19:01.296
Nope, you won't see that I cannot get to where I'm supposed to get, to where I have to get to on the ground.

01:19:01.296 --> 01:19:14.320
And it's going to take a transformative experience to get you to the next level of your life, and I think that's the mode I'm in right now.

01:19:14.320 --> 01:19:21.314
I feel like I had to get off the ground, yeah, um, and it was hard to do.

01:19:21.314 --> 01:19:30.078
It was hard to leave the ground because I was like I'm comfortable here and I'm good at what I'm do, what I do, man, that's real.

01:19:30.078 --> 01:19:37.152
I'm good at what I do and I'm crawling with the best of them, you know.

01:19:37.152 --> 01:19:55.145
But I had to be intentional in believing that the shift, like becoming the butterfly, was going to be the most beautiful and amazing experience and allow myself to enter the cocoon again.

01:19:56.006 --> 01:19:58.617
And that's hard, that's hard, that's hard, especially yeah.

01:20:01.631 --> 01:20:02.153
Yeah, for sure.

01:20:02.153 --> 01:20:14.957
I would like to emphasize that we exist in this world of time and that as a society, we have put time limits and constraints on when we think people should do things and how quickly we think people should do them.

01:20:14.957 --> 01:20:27.832
And you know, we think you know, by this age by age 35, you need to be here and you know if you're going to take a break, it needs to be this long or you only need to spend this much time figuring out.

01:20:27.832 --> 01:20:40.872
God is the author and the finisher of your story and he knows what every chapter comprises and he is outside of time.

01:20:40.872 --> 01:20:46.003
He is not looking to say oh yeah, she got one month to get it together.

01:20:46.003 --> 01:20:56.324
You need to spend the time that you need to spend to address the things that have gone unaddressed because you've been too busy.

01:20:56.324 --> 01:21:06.503
You need to spend the time resting that your body has gone unaddressed because you've been too busy.

01:21:06.685 --> 01:21:14.779
Come on and we equate productivity with purpose and we're looking at the Lord and we're saying look at all of our works.

01:21:14.779 --> 01:21:22.221
And the Lord is like I'm not looking with your eyes, don't look with your eyesight.

01:21:22.221 --> 01:21:32.131
I'm looking at you because God cares about us and not as much about what we do and we have to flip the narrative.

01:21:32.131 --> 01:21:55.722
You have to take a moment and flip the narrative and say how do I allow God to take care of me so that I can continue to not just be a vessel that gets poured into and poured out, but a vessel of honor that God loves and that I allow myself to be built and shaped in the cocoon when it's just me and the creator?

01:21:55.722 --> 01:22:02.259
And I would encourage all of my middle adult friends you know, have we used the word middle adult since we've been here?

01:22:02.259 --> 01:22:08.738
Hello, middle adults, hey, we're talking to you, we love y'all, we are y'all, we are y'all Right.

01:22:08.738 --> 01:22:13.713
And let me tell you something Like you will have to take a moment.

01:22:13.713 --> 01:22:20.182
You are going to all of us, all of us, my 35, my 35 to 50 crew.

01:22:20.783 --> 01:22:30.264
It's time, it's time to take a moment, it's time to take a step back and to reevaluate, lord, what is really important in this season?

01:22:30.264 --> 01:22:35.650
Because I've made everything important except for me and my relationship with you.

01:22:35.650 --> 01:22:44.859
I've made everything important except for what I have right here, in this space, in this cocoon.

01:22:44.859 --> 01:22:46.484
What am I really focusing on right now?

01:22:46.484 --> 01:22:51.435
Because the next season we're about to move into we're going to see God move at such a level.

01:22:51.435 --> 01:22:53.878
That has absolutely nothing to do with our capabilities.

01:22:53.878 --> 01:22:55.542
Our gift sets none of that.

01:22:55.542 --> 01:22:56.203
That's correct.

01:22:56.203 --> 01:22:57.604
He's not.

01:22:57.604 --> 01:23:01.572
He's not depending on you to do what he needs to do in the earth.

01:23:01.572 --> 01:23:07.850
He's depending on you to simply be a representation of his love and his character.

01:23:07.850 --> 01:23:10.997
But you can't get that if you're disconnected.

01:23:10.997 --> 01:23:16.210
So I want to encourage all of us and I said us because we're all included I want to encourage all of us and I said us because we're all included.

01:23:16.210 --> 01:23:20.721
I want to encourage all of us to take some time and reconnect with the creator.

01:23:22.631 --> 01:23:26.960
So I'll, I'll, I'll tag this to the end and then we'll, we'll wrap it up.

01:23:26.960 --> 01:23:30.680
There's a person I listened to.

01:23:30.680 --> 01:23:34.079
His name is Myron Golden, his speaker, author, all this stuff.

01:23:34.079 --> 01:23:48.672
He has a concept that we do have.

01:23:48.672 --> 01:23:51.578
He says it's not his concept, it's a biblical concept, but he, it's like.

01:23:51.578 --> 01:23:52.980
You know, we, we want to, could be whatever.

01:23:52.980 --> 01:23:59.502
Whatever the thing is that you want to have, well, in order to have those things, you have to do certain things to get them right.

01:23:59.502 --> 01:24:02.538
So you have to do things to get the things you want.

01:24:02.538 --> 01:24:08.930
But the key to doing it is becoming a person that can do the things that can get you what you want.

01:24:08.930 --> 01:24:11.512
So it starts with becoming.

01:24:11.512 --> 01:24:13.474
It doesn't start with doing.

01:24:13.474 --> 01:24:17.475
You can't outdo who you are.

01:24:18.815 --> 01:24:22.757
It's not possible describing here is this process?

01:24:22.757 --> 01:24:50.662
Of reconnecting to the one who created you in the first place and becoming more of a fullness of who he created.

01:24:51.371 --> 01:24:58.474
So that then you're able to do the things that will then get you what it is that you're, that you're after, um.

01:24:58.474 --> 01:25:07.381
So I, we told y'all it's gonna be better in season two, it's season two, coming in, hot, yep, yep, yeah, coming in, hot, coming.

01:25:07.381 --> 01:25:08.225
And we is yeah.

01:25:08.225 --> 01:25:10.311
So y'all, y'all, uh, y'all, stay tuned.

01:25:10.311 --> 01:25:16.994
We, we gonna do, we we're gonna do several of these, man, and they're all going to be different because they're all hitting on different things.

01:25:16.994 --> 01:25:28.220
Right, these assessments don't get it twisted these are very different conversations because they're handling different parts of who you are, different seasons and different things.

01:25:28.220 --> 01:25:30.345
So keep tuning in.

01:25:30.345 --> 01:25:31.930
We're unlearning our personalities this season.

01:25:31.930 --> 01:25:33.176
So, like, share, comment, subscribe, that's right.

01:25:33.176 --> 01:25:35.324
That's what we're unlearning our personalities this season, uh.

01:25:35.324 --> 01:25:37.274
So, uh, like share, comment, subscribe, that's right.

01:25:37.274 --> 01:25:41.189
That's what we're supposed to do, okay yeah, hit us up like share comment subscribe.

01:25:41.310 --> 01:25:42.313
We do want to hear from you.

01:25:42.313 --> 01:25:49.478
We love when you comment on stuff and share stuff and it is like y'all are listening, we, we, we hear it like in person.

01:25:49.478 --> 01:25:58.978
People come up to me all the time I watch your stuff, I know if they say the same thing to Queda and then, like the numbers say we're listening, like there are, y'all are actually tuning in.

01:25:58.978 --> 01:26:00.296
So keep tuning in.

01:26:00.296 --> 01:26:09.039
Let us know what you think and let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom.

01:26:09.039 --> 01:26:11.895
Yeah, peace out y'all.

01:26:11.895 --> 01:26:18.560
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:26:18.560 --> 01:26:22.742
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:26:22.742 --> 01:26:29.483
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:26:29.483 --> 01:26:35.841
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:26:35.841 --> 01:26:36.743
See you then.