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June 18, 2024

Talks With Middle Adults: Unlearning Our Faith Journey Pt. 1

Talks With Middle Adults: Unlearning Our Faith Journey Pt. 1
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RA and Jaquetta then share their diverse faith journeys, revealing how their distinct backgrounds shaped their spiritual paths. From RA's upbringing as a pastor's kid to Jaquetta's transient life as part of a military family, we uncover how different experiences can lead to a shared commitment to faith. We delve into the importance of discipline and consistency in maintaining spiritual practices, supported by a powerful quote from Denzel Washington and reflections on the Asbury University revival.

In our final segments, we give a heartfelt shout-out to Reverend Jessica Morris and discuss key insights from our "Unlearning Religion" series. We emphasize the concept of integrating one's life into God's story and the pitfalls of legalism. Jaquetta opens up about overcoming self-doubt and societal pressures, sharing her journey of prayer and self-reflection. We conclude by stressing the importance of community engagement and inviting our listeners to join us on this journey of learning and unlearning together. Tune in for an enriching conversation that aims to set you on the path to greater freedom and spiritual fulfillment.

Chapters

00:05 - Unlearning in Faith Journeys

08:15 - Faith Journey Reflections

21:14 - The Discipline of Faith Walk

35:06 - Living in God's Presence

46:43 - Overcoming Self-Doubt and Moving Forward

57:19 - Engaging in Unlearning for Freedom

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:05.107 --> 00:00:10.676
Hello, hello, hello everybody, and welcome once again to the Unlearned Podcast.

00:00:10.676 --> 00:00:14.089
I am your host, Ruth Abigail aka RA.

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Hello friends, it's Jaquita, your friend.

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Jaquita, jaquita, and this is the podcast that's helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you and we can experience more freedom.

00:00:29.202 --> 00:00:32.375
So that's what we do.

00:00:32.375 --> 00:00:43.945
We are in this segment where we, as middle adults, talk about things we've had to unlearn between our younger adult years and our middle adult years, and we cover all kinds of things.

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Listen, we're going to talk about it and uh, listen, we're gonna talk about it, okay we're gonna talk about it.

00:00:48.911 --> 00:00:52.945
We're gonna talk about the things we talk about the things don't talk, that's good.

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So, queen, before we get into it, tell me how you doing, how's your day my day is great.

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Uh, good friends, I know that it you guys will be listening to this on a tuesday, but today is a sunday and we had a mighty high time in the Lord on this morning.

00:01:07.165 --> 00:01:14.790
It's been a great day in the Lord, had some good word this morning.

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Sang on the choir this morning we sang a good old fast choir song.

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What did you sing?

00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:23.867
We sang Consider it Done, Ricky Dillard.

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Can you give us a little sample?

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Absolutely not, absolutely not.

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Just know, we did what we were supposed to do.

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For those of you that don't know, if you need a strong tenor, you want to call Jaquita, shut up.

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Jaquita is a very strong, confident tenor.

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Sometimes you need those in the tenor section, and so, if you need an extra tenor or two, I thought to an extra tenor and you are looking for someone Jaquita Ross you want to email her or DM her on the Facebook?

00:02:07.340 --> 00:02:09.639
First of all, she will do it first time.

00:02:11.484 --> 00:02:29.728
First of all, there are many things that you can email and hire me out for Singing tenor anywhere, but my good old church choir is just unfortunately not on my list of services that I offer just unfortunately not on my list of services that I offer, although I do enjoy singing my tenor parts.

00:02:29.728 --> 00:02:31.453
But I am not a tenor for hire, unfortunately.

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I really wish I was.

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If I could blow.

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Let me tell you something Like if I could really, like the Lord knew he was, like I can't give her that because the way she set up she would never, she would never get off her high horse.

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I would be in there like I would be everywhere, just like you know how they do the little hands when they sing, like you know, like I'd be doing that all day, like I'd be like how many runs, unnecessary runs, can I do?

00:03:00.324 --> 00:03:04.068
But yeah, no, it was a, it was a great time in the Lord.

00:03:04.590 --> 00:03:08.735
I like singing on the church choir and helping to set an atmosphere.

00:03:08.735 --> 00:03:10.181
I like to.

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I like to set the atmosphere for the word to come forth.

00:03:13.568 --> 00:03:25.848
So, yeah, and I'd like to say you know, middle adult, young adult, I've always enjoyed being on a choir, so that is one thing that has.

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I have not unlearned the choir.

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I have not unlearned praise.

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I never learned that Amen.

00:03:33.829 --> 00:03:37.344
All right, all right, all right, thank you for that.

00:03:37.344 --> 00:03:40.704
Yeah, hi, how was your day, ruth Abigail?

00:03:40.704 --> 00:03:41.407
Oh man, it was great.

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I was getting there, ruth Abigail.

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How was your Sunday, ruth Abigail?

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Oh man, it was great, I was getting there, ruth Abigail.

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How was your Sunday?

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Hush how?

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was your Sunday, Ruth Abigail.

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Well, it was good.

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So today is this 50th Sunday.

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We're recording on Father's Day.

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Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there.

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Man, we got some fathers that listen to us.

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We do have fathers.

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We do Shout out to the fathers man, some really good fathers that listen to us.

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We do have fathers.

00:04:05.771 --> 00:04:09.586
We do Shout out to the fathers man, some really good fathers that listen to us.

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Y'all know who you are.

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Shout out to, y'all.

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Shout out to all the fathers Taking care of all the children.

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One of those that listens that's a great father is my husband.

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We celebrate him today.

00:04:22.127 --> 00:04:25.326
Hi Ty, happy Father's Day.

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Ty, he's like my dad.

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He doesn't like the idea of Father's Day.

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He's like I'd rather you just love and honor me every day.

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That's what my dad used to tell us.

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Growing up I was like, yeah, I get that.

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But as I have grown older, I have rebelled against that because I just think, yes, I'm going to do that every day and I'm going to take out some special time in this moment to be intentional.

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I'm not showing you how much I care.

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And saying it out loud, you know even if you don't want to, I'm going to yeah, that's what I'm going to do Get in there, get really deep in there, and so the kid wrote a note for him and so we did that and that was really special.

00:05:12.740 --> 00:05:17.973
And then we went out to dinner or lunch.

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So my sister, my mom, my dad, the three of us that was fun.

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Then we did regular things, we went shopping and came back home.

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It's been a great day.

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I'll be honest with y'all.

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I'm tired.

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I'm going to give you everything I got, but I'm tired.

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I ain't going to lie to you.

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We're all tired, but we are here to talk to the saints and friends about our middle adult journeys.

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Ruth Abigail, what are we talking about today, girl?

00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.827
Or saints and ain'ts like Jackie Hill Perry.

00:05:49.261 --> 00:05:51.266
I don't like saints and ain'ts.

00:05:51.266 --> 00:05:54.047
Well, I like it, you know, I like it, just not on camera.

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Saints and friends okay, is what I normally go with.

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Saints and friends.

00:06:00.146 --> 00:06:02.204
All right when we get off.

00:06:02.204 --> 00:06:09.704
I need to understand your rationale for not liking saints and ain'ts Because nobody wants to be an ain't.

00:06:09.704 --> 00:06:10.245
I mean, I get that.

00:06:10.326 --> 00:06:10.867
I understand that.

00:06:10.867 --> 00:06:12.468
I mean now shout out to Jackie Hill Perry.

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I love Jackie Hill Perry.

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You're right.

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This is not.

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I don't want nobody out here trying to share the video saying that we out here criticizing folks.

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That's not what we doing.

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We ain't doing nothing.

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I did not criticize anybody, I just said I like saints and friends you did.

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I am a friend of God.

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Thank you.

00:06:32.483 --> 00:06:45.009
So we are going to talk about and this is something that I don't think even on the earlier, earlier episodes of the podcast, I have not I have not.

00:06:45.009 --> 00:06:54.185
I have not really unpacked my faith journey before, and so we're going to do that.

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We're going to talk about unlearning.

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You know what unlearning our, what our faith journey has helped us to unlearn?

00:07:01.447 --> 00:07:02.610
basically yeah, for sure.

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And in different areas of our life, and so we're going to get into it.

00:07:06.985 --> 00:07:08.148
I think it's going to be really good.

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You got it.

00:07:08.730 --> 00:07:09.781
This is what you need to know.

00:07:09.802 --> 00:07:26.228
Though, if you didn't know which, if you've listened to the podcast since it's been around, you should probably have picked up that that I am certainly a jesus follower and, uh, jaquita is absolutely a jesus follower and a preacher.

00:07:26.228 --> 00:07:32.269
And so this is this, is this is like this is like core to who we are.

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Like this ain't nothing, this is like core to who we are.

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So we're just gonna go all the way in, because we've never done that, and so you know, if this ain't what you're feeling cool, wait till next week or go to one of the past episodes, but if you feel like this can encourage you, keep listening.

00:07:49.490 --> 00:07:58.168
And so we are going to unpack, like our faith journey, some things we've learned along the way, and, again, a Jesus follower.

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So we are talking about the Christian faith.

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I want to be clear about that.

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Sometimes I get a little muddy, so, anyway, we're going to get into it.

00:08:06.149 --> 00:08:15.067
So the first thing I think we wanted to level is Quida and I came from very different backgrounds, so our unlearning journeys are very different in that.

00:08:15.507 --> 00:08:20.286
I grew up in church PK over there.

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Yes, my father's a pastor.

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He's been a preacher For as long as I've been alive.

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He's been a pastor since I was a teenager.

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Is still a pastor now I went to a very good pastor At that.

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He's a great pastor.

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I'm not even going to show you.

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Normally I do with him.

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No, no, no.

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While I'm on this live.

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Okay, alright, chill out.

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You're going to chill.

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That's not you want.

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While I'm on this, live.

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Okay, all right, chill out.

00:08:46.245 --> 00:08:48.027
Okay, chill out, but you're gonna, you're gonna chill, um.

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But I went to school, kindergarten through 12th grade at a christian school, um, and so I had a lot of faith stuff in my life, just in the, in my day-to day, like it was just regular.

00:09:03.091 --> 00:09:09.397
Bible school, bible class, you know, church, all that stuff.

00:09:09.397 --> 00:09:10.424
So it was just a part of me.

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We did Bible studies growing up at the kitchen table five o'clock in the morning, like that was nothing right.

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That was what we, that's what we did.

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So that's where I'm coming from.

00:09:18.686 --> 00:09:19.528
Quinta, where are you coming from?

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Man, oh man, oh man.

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I'm coming from a journey, friends, let's see.

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So I early life, was in a military family, so we moved around quite a bit.

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Most of my core memories started in Germany.

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My dad was stationed over there for four years and while we were over there I don't really remember church.

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I don't really remember that being a part of my story.

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But when we came back we did go to a very, very, very small family church for a few years until I was 12.

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And then, when I turned 12, my mom moved to another side of town and we really didn't see church too much, but always kind of had God in like the back of my mind and somewhere in my being.

00:10:13.384 --> 00:10:22.811
There was an awareness of God, but there wasn't a practice of faith when I, when we moved to Blythewood, south Carolina.

00:10:22.811 --> 00:10:25.947
Amen, shout out to my B-Wood folks.

00:10:25.947 --> 00:10:28.613
Okay, thank you.

00:10:30.280 --> 00:10:33.029
I don't know what they're calling it today the wood, I don't know what's cool.

00:10:33.029 --> 00:10:46.131
But yeah, you know, grew up in Blythewood through like end of middle school and all through high school and I really was reintroduced to God through my friends.

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First, right, I had really really good friends who really really followed God and loved God and we were all trying to just kind of grow in God together.

00:10:58.711 --> 00:11:12.784
You know, we were like grouping up, praying for certain things, talking about God, but my senior year in high school joined the gospel choir.

00:11:12.784 --> 00:11:13.647
Okay, we're going to hang out.

00:11:13.647 --> 00:11:14.811
We were talking about that choir.

00:11:14.831 --> 00:11:16.216
I told y'all when I joined that choir in high school, I never left.

00:11:16.216 --> 00:11:16.496
I never left.

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I got a good taste of the choir and I said this is me, this is where I belong.

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And I tell people when they ask me because people who think that they have the prophetic gift they always come up to me and they're like Jaquita, I see something on you.

00:11:29.874 --> 00:11:45.048
I know your gift, you are anointed to sing to the nations and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, baby, and what I tell them is that I sing well enough that they let me on the choir, but that they don't pass me the mic.

00:11:45.048 --> 00:11:49.115
So you know, you'll never see me like leading a song.

00:11:49.115 --> 00:11:52.043
You're going to see me in the back, um, holding down my note.

00:11:52.043 --> 00:11:56.150
That's what I can do, that's my capacity, um.

00:11:56.150 --> 00:12:00.384
But I had really, really great friends who, you know, took me to church.

00:12:00.384 --> 00:12:02.427
They would come and pick me up, um.

00:12:02.447 --> 00:12:16.513
And then when we joined the gospel choir, it became everything was about singing praises unto our God and worship through song, like literally midnight musicals going here, there and everywhere singing with the choir, you know.

00:12:16.513 --> 00:12:18.144
So everything came about that.

00:12:18.144 --> 00:12:23.582
And then one day I was on the choir and I was like, hey, friends, am I saved?

00:12:23.582 --> 00:12:26.208
They keep doing this little call to salvation at the end of the concert.

00:12:26.208 --> 00:12:27.392
And I was like, hey, friends, um, am I saved?

00:12:27.392 --> 00:12:29.135
They keep doing this little call to salvation at the end of the concert.

00:12:29.135 --> 00:12:30.539
And I was like I don't know if I'm saved or not.

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And I said I tell you what next concert?

00:12:32.905 --> 00:12:38.684
When they do that little, when they do that little, hey, you know, anybody want to, anybody want to come to Jesus.

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I said next concert is, it's my time, all right.

00:12:41.929 --> 00:12:48.346
And then the day that I got to that concert y'all, I was wrecked, like it was the concert was.

00:12:48.346 --> 00:12:50.133
I mean, it was a midnight musical.

00:12:50.133 --> 00:12:51.317
We were there three hours.

00:12:51.317 --> 00:12:54.490
The moment I stepped in the building I was crying.

00:12:54.490 --> 00:12:58.221
I was just like overcome by the presence of God.

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By the time that man asked if anybody wanted to give their life to the Lord, I was the first one up there because I knew that that was my day, and so that was kind of like my walk through faith.

00:13:08.370 --> 00:13:17.923
You know, it was kind of like I was always on the outskirts of it, but then one day I just kind of just fully gave myself to it and never looked back.

00:13:17.923 --> 00:13:20.527
Man, I've been full steam ahead ever since.

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So you know, I got saved when I was 18 years old.

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It was a good time.

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That's beautiful and I.

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I.

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So I hope that you know, maybe through this conversation you can find yourself somewhere in between that.

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So, um, you know, I used to always think, for those of you that grew up in church, I used to always think I'm going to have a testimony, because it was so embedded in my life, and so I would hear stories like Queda's and be like man, like I don't really have no story, like I don't really know how to tell it, like I got baptized at six.

00:13:52.269 --> 00:14:08.903
Now I will say the main reason I got baptized at six I went up say I want to be saved, I want to be baptized, I really wanted to get in the pool, and that was my motivation.

00:14:08.903 --> 00:14:17.841
I said I want to get in the pool, I think it'd be fun to swim in church, I want to be baptized, and so I, but as I, you know, but to me that was just like regular life, it wasn't anything for me.

00:14:17.861 --> 00:14:32.322
Uh, my, the moment, uh, that I actually, um, the moment that I actually committed myself to Christ was my sophomore year of college.

00:14:32.322 --> 00:14:41.019
So when I was 20, I was 20, I think it was the, I think it was the summer of my oh.

00:14:41.140 --> 00:14:45.885
I remember, I remember yeah.

00:14:45.985 --> 00:14:49.929
And so that that's where I would say like I decided.

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I'm going to be in this for real.

00:14:51.971 --> 00:14:55.155
So that was kind of, but I had all the knowledge.

00:14:55.155 --> 00:14:55.996
I was already in it.

00:14:55.996 --> 00:15:04.559
You know I didn't, so we'll get all that, but that's kind of where we're coming from.

00:15:04.559 --> 00:15:10.826
So, quida, what, what is something that you're going to hear?

00:15:10.826 --> 00:15:12.815
A couple of things, a couple of big thoughts that we have about what, what we've unlearned.

00:15:12.815 --> 00:15:14.821
I think each one of us are going to do two or three.

00:15:14.821 --> 00:15:19.826
We'll see um, and so what is something you've unlearned?

00:15:19.826 --> 00:15:30.636
Um, between, between your, for you, like the beginning of your adult years and now around your faith journey.

00:15:31.340 --> 00:15:31.660
Sheesh.

00:15:31.660 --> 00:15:33.705
You know what I just thought about Ruth Abigail.

00:15:33.705 --> 00:15:34.346
It's been.

00:15:34.346 --> 00:15:50.221
This year will be our next year will be 20 years since I gave my life to the Lord, and that is bananas, since I gave my life to the Lord.

00:15:50.221 --> 00:16:03.086
And that is bananas Because I remember when I first started just being like everything felt so new and everything felt so exciting and so passionate, and there's no greater decision that I've made since then.

00:16:03.888 --> 00:16:11.267
It's been the most impactful choice of my life and and something that I wouldn't trade for the world.

00:16:11.267 --> 00:16:23.552
But you know, I think that's something that I really had to learn, you know, because when I first got saved, I remember I got saved the summer before we started college at Furman.

00:16:23.552 --> 00:16:29.422
So I got saved in August, august 24th of that year that I graduated high school.

00:16:29.422 --> 00:16:35.885
I got saved that year and then I went straight to Furman and I became I was like I got to find a church home.

00:16:35.885 --> 00:16:36.547
I got to.

00:16:36.547 --> 00:16:42.605
You know, I remember the first thing that I, that Christmas of my freshman year, I asked my mom.

00:16:42.605 --> 00:16:46.892
I said I don't care what else I get for Christmas, I want a Bible, because I didn't have my own Bible, you know.

00:16:46.892 --> 00:17:07.476
And so one of the things that I really had to unlearn was that that, that fervor, that excitement, that passion, like just that feeling of everything being new and driving and pushing like how I engaged with the idea of my faith and with God and with my journey.

00:17:07.476 --> 00:17:27.622
I had to learn that the fervor that I had in the beginning of my walk with God was not going to be what continued to fire kind of my passion for continuing in it, and not that I ever wanted to quit, but there were times where you get really stale.

00:17:27.622 --> 00:17:34.940
There are times where you just get really the word is lazy, the word really is lazy.

00:17:34.940 --> 00:17:54.433
You know, there are times where you just like, where you take God for granted, you take your faith for granted and you're just like, oh yeah, you know, faith is there, god is there, the Bible is there, and even though you're talking about it, you know, in a way that makes it seem like, oh yeah, you know, I just, you know I love God.

00:17:54.961 --> 00:18:19.573
I had to learn that discipline would be what would continue to determine the direction of my faith walk and I had to learn that when there was no passion, there had to be discipline, and not discipline where I'm reading the Bible out of a sense of obligation but, like your, discipline has to be paired with a high sense of value.

00:18:19.573 --> 00:18:28.961
I'm becoming disciplined because I value this part of my life and a lot of times, you know, we do things because we have to Right.

00:18:28.961 --> 00:18:31.799
I started doing it because I needed to Like.

00:18:31.799 --> 00:18:42.516
I like the discipline is necessary for me to upkeep the anointing on my life, for me to upkeep my call, for me to upkeep everything that I'm charged to, for me to upkeep my sanity.

00:18:42.516 --> 00:18:49.826
You know we talk about how the gifts of the spirit are givenally faith, peace, love, joy, meekness.

00:18:49.826 --> 00:18:54.634
I never do them in order Kindness, long-suffering.

00:18:54.634 --> 00:18:58.930
I really need to learn the order because I just be yelling them out.

00:18:58.930 --> 00:19:01.301
Ruth's like, finally, a scripture.

00:19:01.301 --> 00:19:05.048
Jaquita doesn't know.

00:19:05.048 --> 00:19:05.851
Don't know them all.

00:19:05.851 --> 00:19:16.885
I promise I don't, um, but it's a, it's a goal, it's a we're gonna talk about.

00:19:16.885 --> 00:19:35.440
We're gonna talk about that later in my uh, what it means to be holy, uh, um, but I, I, I had to learn that, like, my wellbeing was, was, was dependent on my ability to, to add that discipline to my direction, um, and it really made all the difference.

00:19:35.539 --> 00:19:43.465
You know, when I was in my twenties, you remember when we were roommates, you know I would get up at like six, so my meeting time with God was at 7am.

00:19:43.486 --> 00:19:58.589
And I treat, and I was like I am get up at like six, so my meeting time with God was at 7 am and I was like I am going to meet the king, Okay, so I would get up like 30 minutes early, I would get dressed, I will, you know, make sure I look good for my king, which I still do sometimes.

00:19:58.609 --> 00:20:02.067
Don't play with me, right, make sure I look good for the Lord.

00:20:02.067 --> 00:20:06.763
And I would leave me and Ruth shared a room at the time, so I would go out onto the porch.

00:20:06.763 --> 00:20:16.516
I think I like drag the chair out there and I'm sitting out there on the porch and I would spend my time with the Lord from like seven to 745.

00:20:16.516 --> 00:20:26.275
It was me and the Lord before I went to class and I was like, ooh, I would come in and I'd be like oh my, my gosh, I'm just, oh gosh, I'm so on fire for God.

00:20:26.275 --> 00:20:34.393
I am not a morning person, like, but the fire, the excitement of that like, fueled me to like push into it.

00:20:34.393 --> 00:20:41.405
And so you know, now, when the Lord's like let's meet daughter at 7 am, I'd be like Lord, did you say 7?

00:20:41.405 --> 00:20:41.906
I?

00:20:41.946 --> 00:20:44.209
didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know if you wanted to meet.

00:20:44.209 --> 00:20:51.596
Like you know, like I got to hold on, let me you know, I got a couple of meetings you want to meet at seven, lord, you know, you know, I got to be to the Clemson, I got to be to the work.

00:20:54.201 --> 00:20:56.250
Got to be to work at 830.

00:20:56.250 --> 00:20:58.339
I don't know five to 720?

00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:06.040
Like, is that you, would you?

00:21:06.040 --> 00:21:06.362
Oh, you want me?

00:21:06.362 --> 00:21:08.185
Okay, hold on, lord, well, and I'll be rolling out of the bed onto the floor, right, you know.

00:21:08.185 --> 00:21:14.881
But like, that same fire doesn't always push through in those moments, right.

00:21:14.881 --> 00:21:26.734
And so I've had to learn that the discipline because anytime god tells me meet me at seven and I and I do everything I need is in that meeting.

00:21:26.734 --> 00:21:40.844
Everything I need for the day, everything I need for my spirit, everything the answers I'm asking God for, the things I've been praying to God about, it's in that 7 am meeting, whereas when I was in my twenties I would have ran to it.

00:21:41.044 --> 00:21:44.092
In my thirties I'd be like you know, these bones don't work.

00:21:44.092 --> 00:21:47.584
Ran to it in my thirties, I'd be like you know, these bones don't work.

00:21:47.584 --> 00:21:49.367
You know my body, you know the eight hours of sleep, jesus, you know.

00:21:49.367 --> 00:21:58.521
But I, I've had to learn that the discipline of it is what is what keeps my walk, um, and not necessarily like the fire and the passion which it's.

00:21:58.521 --> 00:22:04.152
It's still there, but the discipline fuels it, um, alongside of it.

00:22:04.152 --> 00:22:05.153
What are your thoughts?

00:22:06.340 --> 00:22:07.586
So I.

00:22:07.586 --> 00:22:16.172
There's a quote from Denzel Washington, who was also, I believe, a proclaimed believer, jesus follower.

00:22:16.172 --> 00:22:24.432
He said that said, without commitment you'll never start, but, more importantly, without consistency you'll never finish.

00:22:24.800 --> 00:22:25.182
You'll never start.

00:22:25.584 --> 00:22:29.259
But more importantly, without consistency, you'll never finish.

00:22:29.259 --> 00:22:39.769
I think that speaks very much to what you're saying.

00:22:39.769 --> 00:23:02.885
The difference between, uh, in, in work like passion, versus building a skill, and how, um, the, the, the book, um so good, they can't ignore you really speaks to like, hey, this principle of following your passion can be dangerous because, to your point, passion is not going to be the fuel all the time there's going to be moments where you're not passionate.

00:23:02.945 --> 00:23:03.988
So what brings you?

00:23:03.988 --> 00:23:06.855
What can, what can, what makes you keep going when you're not passionate?

00:23:06.855 --> 00:23:11.807
His argument is you need to build up a skill, and building up skills does take discipline.

00:23:11.807 --> 00:23:17.303
You have to be disciplined to learn and I, I, yeah, like that.

00:23:17.303 --> 00:23:22.209
I think that's such a a real relevant point.

00:23:22.209 --> 00:23:43.114
That is when, in the context of faith, sometimes overlooked the, the, the, the, the discipline part, the learning part, the skill building part, the, um the you know, so it takes um dedication.

00:23:43.836 --> 00:23:44.500
It takes dedication.

00:23:44.500 --> 00:23:52.273
So, like you know, we'll just say OK, reading and understanding the Bible, is it something that just comes because you say you love God?

00:23:52.273 --> 00:23:54.885
It's going to take practice.

00:23:54.885 --> 00:23:58.727
Right Worship takes practice.

00:23:59.303 --> 00:24:03.691
Prayer takes practice, these spiritual disciplines that we talk about or that you hear about.

00:24:03.691 --> 00:24:03.971
Take practice.

00:24:03.971 --> 00:24:06.220
These spiritual disciplines that we talk about and that you hear about, take practice.

00:24:06.220 --> 00:24:16.832
It's not something that automatically happens because you said, okay, now I want to follow God, I want to do something, I want to change my life or I want to get to know God better.

00:24:16.832 --> 00:24:25.835
However, wherever you are, it takes practice, and so I think that's a misconception that a lot of young people have.

00:24:25.835 --> 00:24:33.807
So the, the revival that happened in uh-oh, I've lost the city.

00:24:34.361 --> 00:24:36.167
Uh-oh, Laura, where was that revival at?

00:24:36.167 --> 00:24:38.984
I know what you're talking about.

00:24:39.548 --> 00:24:44.105
Yeah, it's going to come to us in a second, but y'all know what we're talking about.

00:24:44.105 --> 00:24:52.579
It's going to come to us, we're going to get it, we're going to look it up, but that incredible display of young people was a display of passion, right?

00:24:52.579 --> 00:24:55.442
I mean it ended up a three days or something.

00:24:55.461 --> 00:24:56.662
I mean, it ended up being a while.

00:24:56.721 --> 00:25:03.105
Right when they basically had to shut down the town because people kept flooding the town because they wanted have.

00:25:03.105 --> 00:25:27.630
And I don't know this particular campus or movement intimately so I'm not speaking on that, but I do know a lot of stories when Asbury.

00:25:27.630 --> 00:25:28.471
Asbury.

00:25:28.471 --> 00:25:28.921
Thank you.

00:25:28.961 --> 00:25:30.224
Thank you.

00:25:30.566 --> 00:25:35.480
So at Asbury University, there was a revival.

00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:35.973
This was last year.

00:25:35.973 --> 00:25:36.144
Was this last year?

00:25:36.144 --> 00:25:36.451
2023?

00:25:36.451 --> 00:25:37.049
I think it was 2023,.

00:25:37.049 --> 00:25:37.201
There was a revival.

00:25:37.201 --> 00:25:37.464
This was last year, wasn't it?

00:25:37.464 --> 00:25:37.596
Was this last year?

00:25:37.596 --> 00:25:37.883
2023?

00:25:37.883 --> 00:25:39.713
I think it was 2023.

00:25:39.713 --> 00:25:41.743
Either 23 or 22.

00:25:41.784 --> 00:25:43.529
Yeah, I think so, 22 or 23.

00:25:46.483 --> 00:25:56.640
And it started off with just a worship night and it lasted for several days and it brought people from all over the country.

00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:03.146
I know a couple of people from Memphis that went to experience it and it's a beautiful sight.

00:26:03.146 --> 00:26:07.059
I mean, I experienced it through social media, like most people did, but it was a beautiful sight.

00:26:07.059 --> 00:26:10.569
I do ask the question what's next?

00:26:10.569 --> 00:26:13.145
What maintains that?

00:26:13.145 --> 00:26:23.202
Because you don't have the option of staying on your knees in worship, feeling the presence of God that strongly, forever, they have to shut it down.

00:26:24.164 --> 00:26:27.413
They have to ask people to leave because the town could not function.

00:26:27.413 --> 00:26:28.720
So what?

00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:30.961
What happens when it's over?

00:26:30.961 --> 00:26:49.568
My concern is that sometimes we are so excited about those moments about the mountaintop moments, if you will that we don't put the energy into maintaining the mundane moments.

00:26:50.169 --> 00:26:51.890
Because those are going to be more.

00:26:51.890 --> 00:26:57.332
You're going to have more mundane moments than mountaintop moments in your faith.

00:26:57.332 --> 00:27:01.173
So the question is do you have to have a mountaintop moment to be excited?

00:27:01.173 --> 00:27:04.736
Do you have to have a mountaintop moment to have to feel the presence of God?

00:27:04.736 --> 00:27:05.796
Do you need that?

00:27:05.796 --> 00:27:11.598
If you do, you're going to experience it very little because those moments don't happen very often.

00:27:11.618 --> 00:27:11.919
Yeah.

00:27:12.759 --> 00:27:24.426
But learning how to move through the mundane of just day to day regular life and still have that be able to connect with God in the mundane.

00:27:24.446 --> 00:27:27.969
I think younger, there was a certain level of excitement around.

00:27:28.328 --> 00:27:30.891
You know a newness to this commitment right?

00:27:30.891 --> 00:27:47.632
This man like I just did something I've never done before.

00:27:47.632 --> 00:27:48.563
Now.

00:27:48.563 --> 00:27:54.509
I want to be all in and you get to a point where things get normal.

00:27:54.509 --> 00:27:54.868
I mean, we do that.

00:27:54.868 --> 00:27:55.410
That happens all the time.

00:27:55.410 --> 00:27:56.031
It happens in friendships.

00:27:56.051 --> 00:27:56.993
It can happen in that that happens all the time.

00:27:57.013 --> 00:28:01.028
It happens in friendships, it can happen in marriages, it happens at the job.

00:28:01.531 --> 00:28:01.814
Yeah.

00:28:02.181 --> 00:28:04.588
The new part is the fun part.

00:28:04.588 --> 00:28:08.202
And then you get used to it and it's not so fun anymore.

00:28:08.202 --> 00:28:11.571
You know what I'm saying?

00:28:11.571 --> 00:28:12.885
It's not as fun, okay.

00:28:12.885 --> 00:28:16.362
So yeah, I resonate with that and.

00:28:16.362 --> 00:28:23.267
I think, it's a great point and I think that discipline part man, it takes, it takes work it's so necessary.

00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:50.484
And you know, the thought that that just came to my mind is that when you look at all of our biblical predecessors, you know, when you look at Moses, when you look at Abraham, when you look at Joseph, when you look at Jacob, you know, when you look at even Ruth and Esther, like their faith journeys were marked by the things that they didn't want to do and a lot of times we push this, you know.

00:28:50.484 --> 00:28:56.193
Oh, I just love just spending time with God and I just love, you know, just laying out before him.

00:28:56.193 --> 00:29:12.949
But your assignment, like when I first began my walk with God, it was all about being in God's presence and feeling his love and the affirmation and the things that I was learning about God and just in God.

00:29:12.949 --> 00:29:33.709
But when it became leading in God, like when it became uh, um, uh, standing with God in certain instances in my life and like it being more about an assignment or a gift, like I had to learn God in a different way because it wasn't just it, it.

00:29:33.709 --> 00:29:39.521
It was then not just about what I wanted to do, it was about what God wanted from my life.

00:29:39.521 --> 00:29:53.980
And when you add the weight of responsibility and call, I'm just thinking about Esther being like I don't want to go up to the king and risk my life asking him to save my people.

00:29:53.980 --> 00:29:57.548
I don't want to do that, I don't want to, I don't want to risk nothing.

00:29:57.548 --> 00:29:59.133
You know but him.

00:29:59.133 --> 00:30:06.913
But but her, her cousin Mordecai, saying to her you know what if it, what if you were born for such a time as this?

00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:12.201
The weight of that produces a different type of walk, right.

00:30:12.201 --> 00:30:14.305
It produces a different type of trust.

00:30:14.305 --> 00:30:23.348
It produces a different type of faith where, again, it's not about fervor, it is about, like I have to give all of me to God.

00:30:23.348 --> 00:30:25.874
It's about surrender, right.

00:30:25.874 --> 00:30:33.374
It's less about, like you know you're no longer frolicking through those you know new beginning tulips.

00:30:33.374 --> 00:30:47.403
You know, like you are, you are having to surrender something, right, and in that surrender, like you found that you don't always realize that you're going to gain so much more than you get it.

00:30:47.403 --> 00:31:02.694
It feels risky and there's a level of fear, but I think that, um, one thing that I really learned, one thing that I had to unlearn so that I could learn a new way, was that it is not just how I'm setting up my faith.

00:31:02.694 --> 00:31:13.848
You know, I was like OK, so my devotion time is this, and I'm going to sing three songs to the Lord and I only listen to gospel music, and it is not how you set up your faith.

00:31:13.848 --> 00:31:16.060
It is how you set up your life, right?

00:31:16.343 --> 00:31:19.924
I had a mentor tell me that our lives are not compartmentalized.

00:31:19.924 --> 00:31:31.272
You don't get to have a faith life and a leadership life, and a church life and a work life, and a morning life and a late night life.

00:31:31.272 --> 00:31:36.467
I know some of us got different lifestyles, but it's not compartmentalized.

00:31:36.467 --> 00:31:45.381
Every part of my life is touching the other parts of my life and God is looking at my bigger picture and my bigger story, right?

00:31:45.381 --> 00:31:51.074
And so, as I'm as I'm thinking about my faith walk, I'm also thinking about my career.

00:31:51.074 --> 00:31:54.519
As I'm thinking about my faith walk, I'm also thinking about my friendships.

00:31:54.519 --> 00:31:58.691
As I'm thinking about my faith walk, I'm also thinking about relationships.

00:31:58.691 --> 00:32:01.377
I'm also thinking about leadership.

00:32:01.377 --> 00:32:03.803
I'm also thinking about my health.

00:32:03.803 --> 00:32:05.445
I'm thinking about my wellness.

00:32:05.445 --> 00:32:09.233
I'm thinking about my money, my coin, my bag.

00:32:09.233 --> 00:32:09.619
Okay, right.

00:32:09.640 --> 00:32:12.540
So my faith walk was not the older I became, the more it became not just faith.

00:32:12.540 --> 00:32:29.189
The older I became, the more it became not just faith, but this is my life, and faith touches every part of my life, and so when we're thinking about disciplining ourselves towards that, I discipline my conversations with my friends.

00:32:29.189 --> 00:32:33.330
I discipline my thought life about my workplace environment.

00:32:33.330 --> 00:32:35.152
I discipline my finances.

00:32:35.152 --> 00:32:47.517
I discipline myself with my health, like right, like, because it all encompasses faith, whereas before I was just like, my devotion time is 7am and I go to church every Sunday.

00:32:47.517 --> 00:32:48.617
Amen, bless you.

00:32:48.617 --> 00:33:11.968
Right now, like, it's not just I'm a believer, I am a disciple, I am a follower, like I am, I have surrendered, and once you get past that point of surrender, you know your life becomes about this thing, and so I definitely think that that was something I had to unlearn from my twenties that it wasn't so much about the routine as it was about the surrender.

00:33:13.132 --> 00:33:41.376
So there's a um, there's an illustration that you've probably seen, and uh and I don't have the right tool in front of me, but if you can imagine like a jar, like a glass jar about that big, and uh, you have in front of you, uh, rocks, pebbles sand and water and so I saw this first years ago at church in a young adult service and somebody was doing this.

00:33:41.460 --> 00:33:42.202
So they did the thing.

00:33:42.202 --> 00:33:48.551
Ok, like one of the most important things in your life, and invariably the first thing people say is God, church, family.

00:33:48.551 --> 00:33:50.424
Ok, those are rocks, we're going to put those in the jar.

00:33:50.424 --> 00:33:52.009
What are the next most important things?

00:33:52.009 --> 00:33:53.641
Friends, work.

00:33:53.641 --> 00:33:58.525
You know those types of things, right, okay, those are the smaller pebbles.

00:33:58.525 --> 00:34:03.048
Cool, so the next most important things the sand.

00:34:03.048 --> 00:34:08.193
You know entertainment, what I enjoy doing, my passions, my hobbies.

00:34:08.193 --> 00:34:08.913
You know that.

00:34:08.913 --> 00:34:10.974
Sand, and then everything else is water.

00:34:10.974 --> 00:34:13.956
So you have to put it in that order for it to fit in the jar.

00:34:13.956 --> 00:34:21.585
If you put the water in first, your big rocks aren't going to be able to.

00:34:21.585 --> 00:34:22.369
They're going to just float to the top.

00:34:22.369 --> 00:34:22.831
Yeah, the sand in first.

00:34:22.831 --> 00:34:24.054
It'll take up too much space, you can't fit all your rocks in.

00:34:24.074 --> 00:34:39.945
So that's the idea right, of the, of the, of the jar you want to put your big rocks in, and something she said that I'll never forget was that we look at the jar as our our, um, our life, and she kind of.

00:34:39.945 --> 00:34:41.469
What she said was now I want you to.

00:34:41.469 --> 00:34:50.887
I want you to flip it, because everybody put the, or most people include God as a rock, and instead of doing that, I want you to see God as the jar.

00:34:54.181 --> 00:35:05.461
And we putting all of me into the jar that that changed the way I saw my journey.

00:35:05.481 --> 00:35:05.802
Yeah, that's good.

00:35:05.802 --> 00:35:06.646
That changed the way I saw my journey.

00:35:06.646 --> 00:35:17.233
Shout out to jessica morris, reverend jessica morris, who gave out to reverend jessica morris man, that that really, um, that really, that really changed me.

00:35:17.293 --> 00:35:21.844
It's just a shameless quote uh, jessica and I had a great conversation.

00:35:21.844 --> 00:35:34.445
She was one of my very first uh interviews for our series unlearning religion great, great, great uh series but a great conversation, and if y'all want to hear more from her, go back into the archives.

00:35:34.445 --> 00:35:34.987
Listen to that.

00:35:34.987 --> 00:35:42.442
That episode, I think you'll really be um man.

00:35:42.442 --> 00:35:45.889
She does a lot of amazing things, challenging things, things will make you think, but, um, that man that stuck with me.

00:35:45.889 --> 00:35:47.713
It's like yo, I put all of me into God.

00:35:47.713 --> 00:36:04.856
God is not a rock, god is the job, and so, to your point, you know, we have to see our lives as as as fully integrated into God's story.

00:36:05.501 --> 00:36:06.664
That's good for us.

00:36:06.664 --> 00:36:08.190
Right, that's good.

00:36:09.201 --> 00:36:21.581
And so so, yeah, I love that and anyway, yeah anyway, yeah, thank you for that.

00:36:21.601 --> 00:37:20.306
No, that's really good, because, you know, I I think even, uh, one of my what was going to be a later point, but I'm gonna start integrating it now is that, like the idea of like holiness being, like what I'm doing, like you know, like, and like we're trying to build a story that's around, that's centered around us, you know, like, this is what I do and this is how I talk and this is how I engage people, and it becomes it can really become legalistic, because your story, then, is becoming about you and you are so focused on you that you are missing the fact that God is the jar, that God is the jar and that the reason that I'm living my life a certain way is because I'm putting it into a jar that is holy, I'm putting it into a jar that is righteous, and so I have to mold myself toward the jar, like the jar is what makes me good, right, it's got, you know.

00:37:21.083 --> 00:37:24.327
And so when people look at me oh girl, I can preach that.

00:37:24.327 --> 00:37:34.639
When people look at me and say they see, god, it's because I'm inside of girl, tell her, I'm gone.

00:37:34.639 --> 00:37:36.634
I just need to just borrow that and I'm gone.

00:37:36.634 --> 00:37:42.686
I just need to just borrow that and I'm so grateful, I heard it at that young age.

00:37:43.222 --> 00:38:13.614
now I cannot say that everything about me changed in that moment, but the fact that I can remember it so vividly, I remember, I can see it in my mind, the illustration, and I draw that up often to remind myself that when I begin to make God a part of my life and not everything that's on the side of it, everything's on the side of him I come back to that and say hold on, that's not the way this works.

00:38:13.614 --> 00:38:14.016
God is not a rock.

00:38:14.016 --> 00:38:14.878
That's not the way this works.

00:38:14.878 --> 00:38:16.766
God is not a rock.

00:38:16.766 --> 00:38:17.568
That's not how this works.

00:38:17.568 --> 00:38:27.940
And so I'm grateful that I got that early, because it has gotten harder to not make God a rock the older I've gotten, yeah.

00:38:28.420 --> 00:38:32.168
Because so many other things become important to your point.

00:38:32.168 --> 00:38:36.548
When you're younger, most of what your life is revolves around you.

00:38:36.548 --> 00:38:38.422
It's not it's.

00:38:38.422 --> 00:38:39.947
You don't have a lot of responsibilities.

00:38:39.947 --> 00:38:41.981
When we were in college, we didn't have a lot of responsibilities.

00:38:41.981 --> 00:38:46.746
We had to get ourselves a class, we had to get ourselves a degree and we had to get ourselves a job.

00:38:46.746 --> 00:38:51.005
I mean, that was our focus for four or five years.

00:38:51.025 --> 00:38:51.929
We was out there chilling.

00:38:51.929 --> 00:39:01.945
When I think about the college and think about how stressed I was, I'm just like for what it's a lot of people.

00:39:01.945 --> 00:39:02.447
Yeah.

00:39:03.021 --> 00:39:06.170
There's a lot of people in there in that stage of life.

00:39:06.260 --> 00:39:06.983
You have a lot of.

00:39:07.945 --> 00:39:09.231
That's where you, that's where your head is.

00:39:09.231 --> 00:39:24.614
Yeah, and so as you begin to add things to you, it becomes harder to see it becomes harder to integrate God when I see him as a rock.

00:39:24.614 --> 00:39:31.675
It's just harder, and I think that's just a real thing that we need to be honest about.

00:39:31.675 --> 00:39:37.307
And you know, and I feel like and I love the way you put it, man, I've had to do this, I've had to unlearn that same thing, and I it is.

00:39:37.327 --> 00:39:38.110
I'm not perfect at it.

00:39:38.110 --> 00:39:42.356
I definitely was better at spending more quality time with God when I was younger than I am now.

00:39:42.356 --> 00:39:55.311
No doubt One thing I will say this and I'll say this and we'll pivot, because I think, for the people who identify with me, I hope this, this point, will be resonant with you.

00:39:55.311 --> 00:40:09.806
But the presence of God to me be resonating with you, but the presence of God to me, I think one of the things that I've had to unlearn and my hope is that other people begin to unlearn it is that being in the presence of God has not done its full work.

00:40:09.806 --> 00:40:22.018
Until you are prepared to go and work, god is not concerned about how you are just with you and him.

00:40:22.018 --> 00:40:34.320
He's way more concerned about what you're doing out in the world, how you're representing him, what you're, what you are, uh, what you're, the way you walk out in the world.

00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:40.496
God talks way more about that than he does about um in the Bible.

00:40:40.496 --> 00:40:49.217
It talks way more about that than it does just kind of the um, the, what's the word?

00:40:49.217 --> 00:41:05.355
I'm looking for these, uh, these, these these high moments where we are having this very intense connection to God and we walk away If the thing, if, when that happens, you walk away feeling really good and it stops there.

00:41:05.355 --> 00:41:07.793
Something didn't happen that was supposed to happen.

00:41:07.793 --> 00:41:11.394
You miss the point of being in the presence of God.

00:41:11.394 --> 00:41:17.170
You be in the presence of God so that you can be prepared to go out and live for God, and that's.

00:41:17.329 --> 00:41:18.112
I think that is.

00:41:18.112 --> 00:41:23.047
That's something that I've, I've I've had to unlearn over the years.

00:41:23.047 --> 00:41:30.465
When that passion is so, it's a that passion is very, um, intense and it's very high.

00:41:30.465 --> 00:41:42.217
We, we, we sometimes can take that and bottle it up and keep it for us, because it's like this is, this is my moment, this is me and the Lord, it's me and the Lord, it's me and the Lord.

00:41:42.217 --> 00:42:00.898
It's like, yeah, but we got to move forward in that it's you and the Lord so that you could go out and make a difference in wherever you are, so that you have the strength, the wisdom, all the things you need to make that difference.

00:42:00.898 --> 00:42:07.411
So I think, I think that that's an important step and that's that's part of the discipline is.

00:42:08.014 --> 00:42:08.135
I'm.

00:42:08.135 --> 00:42:22.579
I am in God's presence so that I can be prepared for something it's not just about me and sometimes, like sometimes the something is not, you know, as as intimidating as we make it.

00:42:22.905 --> 00:42:32.409
I remember I heard a preacher say that, like when Jesus said you know, greater works will you do than than what you've seen me do, like the greater works.

00:42:32.409 --> 00:42:35.376
Some of that greater works was having a family Right.

00:42:35.376 --> 00:42:37.572
Some of that greater works was raising children.

00:42:37.572 --> 00:42:39.485
Having a family right.

00:42:39.485 --> 00:42:40.487
Some of that greater works was raising children.

00:42:40.487 --> 00:42:44.938
Some of that greater works was like being able to go out in the world and disciple and push forward the kingdom of God.

00:42:44.938 --> 00:43:01.106
But it is like I think a lot of times we think that what God is calling us to is something that is beyond us, but sometimes it's what's in front of you, like God is calling you to have stewardship over what he's given you Right, and you can.

00:43:01.106 --> 00:43:05.797
I don't care how small the thing is that you think that you have.

00:43:05.797 --> 00:43:17.871
I don't care how small you think your assignment is, how small you think you know your gift is, how small you believe that the purpose that God has given you, number one is not small.

00:43:17.871 --> 00:43:29.039
Number two you are going to need the presence, the wisdom, the direction, the encouragement, the affirmation You're going to need God.

00:43:29.039 --> 00:43:32.735
You're going to need God to make it from step to step.

00:43:32.735 --> 00:43:43.184
And I don't, you know, even for the people who you know, I have a very charismatic gift, right, you know, even for the people who you know, I have a very charismatic gift, right, you know.

00:43:43.184 --> 00:43:59.235
And so sometimes it can be easy for me and for, honestly, other people to get wrapped up in the charisma of my gift and say, oh, she got it, cause she loud, you know like, oh, she got the spirit, because you know, she said something that was really, you know, insightful.

00:43:59.235 --> 00:44:04.612
No, right, it is my, it is the presence of God that makes the difference.

00:44:05.414 --> 00:44:12.637
I've been studying, um, joseph, um, just a little bit, I I got, I'm about to go deeper in.

00:44:12.637 --> 00:44:16.429
I actually did my, uh, initial sermon about Joseph.

00:44:16.429 --> 00:44:25.157
So the Lord has been sending me back and I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, anytime the Lord, take you back to one of your origin scriptures.

00:44:25.157 --> 00:44:28.030
You should be, you should be mindful.

00:44:28.030 --> 00:44:43.759
But I've been studying Joseph, and when Joseph was at Potiphar's house, you know not, um, it said that Potiphar recognized that the Lord was with him and so he gave Joseph everything he had and said Joseph, go and go and take charge of all my household.

00:44:43.759 --> 00:44:46.353
And it said, potiphar didn't even know what was in his house.

00:44:46.353 --> 00:44:49.894
All he knew was that there was food on the table and everything was taken care of.

00:44:49.894 --> 00:45:00.664
And then, when Joseph was sent to the prison, it said that the prison guard recognized that God was with Joseph and he gave Joseph charge over everything.

00:45:01.146 --> 00:45:06.516
How did these people, who didn't even know the Lord, know that God was with Joseph?

00:45:06.516 --> 00:45:08.047
Yeah, because it's.

00:45:08.047 --> 00:45:10.835
What is the glass jar man?

00:45:10.835 --> 00:45:14.210
Right, they see that you are everything about.

00:45:14.210 --> 00:45:18.673
You is inside of something that is something that is so much bigger than you.

00:45:26.985 --> 00:45:27.788
But I can't go from place to place.

00:45:27.788 --> 00:45:32.784
I can't do what God has assigned me to do if I'm not allowing myself to sit in his presence so that people can see the God in me and not the me in me.

00:45:32.784 --> 00:45:41.148
And sometimes that was definitely something that I had to unlearn in my twenties, because in my twenties I was really focused on.

00:45:41.148 --> 00:45:42.692
You know, the show.

00:45:42.692 --> 00:45:48.025
You know, here is the exhibition of Jaquita the believer.

00:45:48.025 --> 00:45:53.255
I would like to invite you all to the Jaquita is saved show.

00:45:53.255 --> 00:45:55.340
Right, like so it was.

00:45:55.340 --> 00:45:57.213
You know what do I need to pray?

00:45:57.213 --> 00:45:58.641
Like what do I need to pray?

00:45:58.641 --> 00:45:59.244
Like what do I need to talk?

00:45:59.244 --> 00:46:07.708
Like what do I need to walk Like so that other people will look at me and affirm to me that they see the God in me?

00:46:07.708 --> 00:46:11.117
I was waiting to hear it from them, like I was.

00:46:11.317 --> 00:46:21.367
And you know, there were moments in my twenties, ruth Abigail, where I literally, you know, when I think of some of my lowest moments in my twenties, cause the twenties had.

00:46:21.367 --> 00:46:23.152
The twenties was like.

00:46:23.152 --> 00:46:27.068
The twenties is almost like adult puberty, like it is like.

00:46:27.068 --> 00:46:33.048
You know, like the figuring yourself out, the understanding yourself, the believing in yourself.

00:46:33.048 --> 00:46:35.313
You know the like oh, is this a gift?

00:46:35.313 --> 00:46:36.697
Are you sure this is my gift?

00:46:36.697 --> 00:46:37.887
You think this is my gift?

00:46:37.887 --> 00:46:39.110
I think this might be my gift.

00:46:39.110 --> 00:46:43.286
Okay, it's my gift, right, like, you know, like the twenties had a lot of that.

00:46:43.626 --> 00:46:53.951
But I remember, like there were so many people around me in my like mid twenties telling me like, jaquita, you have so much potential but you're not reaching any of it, you're not doing anything with your life.

00:46:53.951 --> 00:47:01.400
You know, like, and I just felt so disheartened because it wasn't what they were saying.

00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:04.215
It's what I believed about what they were saying.

00:47:04.215 --> 00:47:22.367
I believed that because they were saying that I wasn't walking in potential and purpose, that I wasn't saved enough that I wasn't good enough for God, that I hadn't gotten to a place where God could accept me and could mold and shape me and push me forward.

00:47:22.367 --> 00:47:28.346
You know, it was what I believed about what they were saying, and a lot of us.

00:47:28.606 --> 00:47:32.938
It took us some time once we got into these middle adult years.

00:47:32.938 --> 00:47:54.992
It took us some time because you were so focused on what they said that you have never addressed what you believed Right, and I believe that other people's opinions of me matched the opinion of God about me and it completely derailed me for so long.

00:47:54.992 --> 00:47:57.617
Yeah, I mean, and it wasn't even.

00:47:57.617 --> 00:48:40.827
I can't even verify that what I thought they believed is what they actually believed, but the way I was ingesting what they were saying about me created a stronghold that created a sense of fear that I literally low key, very, very low key, like the lowest of the keys, like just like, maybe like two days ago I had to address because I had to sit, the Lord, I was talking to the Lord and I was like Lord, you know, I really, if you put two options in front of me and you say, jaquita, you could take this easy road and you may have like a middle of the road life, but it'll be easy road and you may have like a middle of the road life, but it'll be easy.

00:48:40.827 --> 00:48:46.847
Or you can take this hard road, but at the end, at the end, at the end of the hard road, there will be great fortune and prosperity.

00:48:46.847 --> 00:48:53.525
Just just a week ago, jaquita would have been like give me the easy road and I'm gonna make it work.

00:48:54.067 --> 00:48:56.451
Okay, and I had to ask the Lord.

00:48:56.451 --> 00:49:04.552
I said, lord, why am I afraid to do hard things, like you know, like it's not that I don't do them, it's just that I am.

00:49:04.552 --> 00:49:06.697
I can sometimes be crippled.

00:49:06.697 --> 00:49:16.728
I can be crippled by the fear of it, and it was just like literally two days ago that I realized that it was something from my twenties.

00:49:16.728 --> 00:49:31.788
It was that same little strategy that the enemy used in my 20s, where I internalized a belief about myself that said you're not good enough and if you try, you will fail.

00:49:31.788 --> 00:49:36.358
And it crippled me and prevented me from ever starting anything.

00:49:36.358 --> 00:49:38.710
And so I had to be mindful.

00:49:38.710 --> 00:49:44.514
Now that I'm a middle adult, I don't just allow thoughts to just run without getting checked.

00:49:44.514 --> 00:49:50.612
I had to take a step back and say okay, god, what belief am I facing now.

00:49:50.612 --> 00:49:54.139
That is preventing me from trying this hard thing.

00:49:54.139 --> 00:49:56.730
Right, and the Lord was like Jaquita.

00:49:56.730 --> 00:50:04.860
What do you believe about yourself that you have internalized that that prevents you from seeing yourself the way that I see you?

00:50:05.262 --> 00:50:05.503
Yeah.

00:50:05.844 --> 00:50:17.949
Right, somebody in church today said somebody in church today said, okay, he said some of us need to see ourselves the way the devil sees us.

00:50:17.949 --> 00:50:22.739
Because if you want to know, I know, right, it was good, it was good, it was good.

00:50:22.739 --> 00:50:52.358
Shout out to Corey Terry, I just had, I'm sorry, if it needs to be bleeped out, you can go, but that man was preaching today, okay, preaching my life up and down, but you know like, and it all just clicked for me because I said, lord, I'm not seeing myself correctly because if I'm not seeing the reason why the attacks are being set up, it's because I don't see the potential of who I really am.

00:50:53.047 --> 00:50:59.514
And at my big old age, right, I'm still having to talk to myself about my beliefs, about myself.

00:50:59.514 --> 00:51:07.266
Right, because what makes you think that you're not big enough, bad enough, purposed enough, gifted enough, anointed enough?

00:51:07.266 --> 00:51:12.757
Right, that you don't have enough God backing you, that you can't go do the hard things?

00:51:12.757 --> 00:51:13.545
Right?

00:51:13.545 --> 00:51:22.940
And so it was just a moment that I realized I'm hanging on to something from my 20s that is persisting.

00:51:22.940 --> 00:51:37.635
It's an old belief system that I'm so and everything that I'm afraid of has nothing to do with me and everything to do with people around me, because I'm really afraid that somebody else is going to look at me and say she don't know what she's doing.

00:51:37.635 --> 00:51:40.521
She don't know what she's doing.

00:51:40.521 --> 00:52:04.771
She don't know what she's doing, she out here, freestyling, which I might be, but that's the fear I had to learn to see myself when the Lord in my twenties, when he took me to the side and I remember I was driving one day and the Lord said you're on time, you're right in my timing, you're not behind that broke everything for me.

00:52:05.353 --> 00:52:05.534
Wow.

00:52:06.065 --> 00:52:12.978
That broke everything for me, because I realized that I was walking with God and that God had my back.

00:52:16.367 --> 00:52:17.130
Can I be honest with you?

00:52:17.806 --> 00:52:19.199
Her thanking face just came on so.

00:52:19.420 --> 00:52:21.505
I'm scared no, no, no, don't be scared.

00:52:21.505 --> 00:52:37.313
This wasn't part of the plan, but I am feeling like we should stop here and do a part two because I think the things that have been shared, if you've been paying attention, we've only gotten to one point.

00:52:37.313 --> 00:52:38.610
I did half of my other one.

00:52:38.610 --> 00:52:40.538
I did half of my other one the things, that have been shared.

00:52:40.557 --> 00:52:42.144
If you've been paying attention, we've only gotten to one point.

00:52:42.284 --> 00:52:42.811
I did half of my other one.

00:52:42.811 --> 00:52:43.378
I did half of my other one.

00:52:43.378 --> 00:52:51.025
It's hilarious to me and also I feel like this is just too weighty to add to Like.

00:52:51.025 --> 00:52:52.632
We don't need to add any other points to this.

00:52:52.632 --> 00:53:03.327
There's so much and I, I I'm just sitting here, I'm sitting here listening and I'm I don't.

00:53:03.327 --> 00:53:03.889
It's like I don't.

00:53:03.889 --> 00:53:05.554
I don't think we need to add anything Like.

00:53:05.594 --> 00:53:06.416
I'm not gonna add a point.

00:53:06.925 --> 00:53:09.668
Um, this is enough, and what we're going to do.

00:53:09.668 --> 00:53:15.650
We're going to come back to part two because I both Quinn and I work with younger people.

00:53:15.650 --> 00:53:17.871
If you've been listening a while, you know that.

00:53:17.871 --> 00:53:19.737
Both Quidd and I work with younger people.

00:53:19.737 --> 00:53:21.445
If you've been listening a while, you know that.

00:53:21.445 --> 00:53:27.297
And so we have a passion for the younger generation and particularly this area of it.

00:53:27.297 --> 00:53:57.815
We approach it in different ways, we have different gifts, and so we connect to different people in different places in their walk, but I think one of the commonalities is this kind of what we've been talking about in.

00:53:57.815 --> 00:53:59.983
You know what happened when my life wasn't the way.

00:54:00.003 --> 00:54:06.954
It was when I found out what happens when it's different, what happens when I'm not living in the same world as I was when I connected to him first.

00:54:07.735 --> 00:54:09.016
And what do I do about that?

00:54:09.016 --> 00:54:13.108
Because all of this, to me, is encompassed in that framework.

00:54:13.108 --> 00:54:21.501
In my 20s, in my teens, you know, as a child, this is, this was my initial connection with God.

00:54:21.501 --> 00:54:25.170
And then I kept living.

00:54:25.170 --> 00:54:33.072
I grew older, I made some different decisions, I met some different people, I had some different experiences.

00:54:33.072 --> 00:54:34.938
Well, what do I do now?

00:54:34.938 --> 00:54:39.326
What do I do now, like, how do I continue?

00:54:39.326 --> 00:54:44.411
And should it even be that I get back to what I had?

00:54:44.411 --> 00:54:47.855
Or, if not, what am I striving for?

00:54:47.855 --> 00:55:03.980
And so there's, there is this, and I think a lot of people, myself included, you get weary with that and it's very easy to just lean on your old connection, every now and again just to get you through, but that's not.

00:55:04.019 --> 00:55:04.260
That's not.

00:55:04.260 --> 00:55:05.244
God wants more for you than that.

00:55:05.244 --> 00:55:08.028
He wants more, and to your point.

00:55:08.028 --> 00:55:16.650
Part of that is seeing yourself as more than the individual you were when he found you.

00:55:16.650 --> 00:55:30.059
He is growing you every day, and he's growing you in a way that is he's growing you for a purpose every day that is connected to his will, every day.

00:55:31.489 --> 00:55:57.873
And if we don't, if we don't keep that current and keep that connection current, we will often, I believe, find ourselves going again, traveling back to who we were and not connecting myself today to God, today, like where are we today?

00:55:57.873 --> 00:56:02.050
I don't know if that makes sense, but I do feel like that is.

00:56:02.050 --> 00:56:03.052
I don't know.

00:56:03.052 --> 00:56:11.065
Let's land there and we're going to do a part two and do these, uh, do some other points that I think hopefully are relevant.

00:56:11.065 --> 00:56:14.291
But you know, send this, share this with somebody.

00:56:14.291 --> 00:56:18.527
Um, that is, uh that you know that's like man.

00:56:18.527 --> 00:56:30.916
You know they really are interested in following God, thinking about following God, following God just got started been doing it for a while, kind of feel stuck, not really sure where to go, need a little encouragement.

00:56:30.916 --> 00:56:39.217
If you know anybody who fits those categories, share this with them and then let us know, let us know what they think.

00:56:39.217 --> 00:56:42.193
Or, if you listen to it, let us know what you think we want to hear from you.

00:56:42.193 --> 00:56:45.030
You know, there you go.

00:56:45.030 --> 00:56:47.293
That's all I've got.

00:56:47.293 --> 00:56:48.628
That's it what you think.

00:56:48.748 --> 00:56:49.952
Nah, that was good.

00:56:49.952 --> 00:56:57.235
Listen, you guys spend some time, regardless of where you are in your faith journey right now.

00:56:57.235 --> 00:57:06.755
Spend some time just re-evaluating that and say God, what do I need to do today to connect with the God of today?

00:57:06.755 --> 00:57:16.096
Right, and we want to hear about what you guys are hearing from God, what you learned about, what you learned and unlearned about your faith journeys.

00:57:16.096 --> 00:57:18.369
Listen, dialogue with us.

00:57:18.369 --> 00:57:19.414
Throw it in the chat.

00:57:19.434 --> 00:57:21.228
Some people been saying some funny stuff.

00:57:21.228 --> 00:57:30.485
Man, y'all some funny people, right, but we really enjoy engaging with you guys and I definitely, really, really want to hear back from you guys on this subject.

00:57:30.485 --> 00:57:39.956
So, if you need to direct message us, or if you just want to put it underneath the posts or underneath our YouTube videos, we would love to engage with you guys.

00:57:39.956 --> 00:58:05.972
Make sure you like, share and subscribe so that we can continue on learning with you guys, because this is important work and the work that we've done here in this hour that we've been on is just the beginning, and the work that we've been doing in our life is just a testament, and we know that God is working in your life as well, so we want to just fellowship with you guys in that.

00:58:07.657 --> 00:58:08.338
All right people.

00:58:08.338 --> 00:58:13.835
Until next week, let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom.

00:58:13.835 --> 00:58:15.309
All right peace.

00:58:41.565 --> 00:58:44.054
All right, peace and Instagram, and to let us know what you think.

00:58:44.054 --> 00:58:46.503
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

00:58:46.503 --> 00:58:46.784
See you then.