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July 16, 2024

Talks With Middle Adults: What To Do When Your Personal Habits Are Creeping Into Your Professional Life

Talks With Middle Adults: What To Do When Your Personal Habits Are Creeping Into Your Professional Life
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In this episode, we challenge the idea of splitting your life into separate compartments and introduce a fresh perspective on integrity, likening it to the wholeness of an "integer." Every part of our lives impacts the others, and we explore how embracing this interconnectedness can lead to genuine personal growth.

In our deeper discussion, we dive into the essence of personal integrity and the pitfalls of living through a "representative" version of ourselves. Learn from our stories and insights how true professional growth is inextricably linked to personal development. We talk about the value of self-love and how appreciating your unique gifts can enhance self-care and leadership, even touching on time management tips that evolve as life circumstances change. Whether you're struggling with procrastination or trying to balance your responsibilities, this episode offers practical advice and engaging anecdotes to help you manage your energy effectively.

We also explore the journey of unlearning indecisiveness and taking charge of one's life narrative, including the importance of financial independence. Discover how understanding personal productivity rhythms and mentoring styles can transform your approach to leadership and personal development. As we wrap up, we encourage listeners to join our community of "unlearners," dedicated to fostering a culture of commitment, courage, and continuous self-improvement. Get ready for laughs, insights, and a roadmap to becoming a more integrated and empowered version of yourself!

Chapters

00:05 - The Unlearned Podcast

06:05 - The Importance of Personal Integrity

22:01 - Self-Love and Appreciation for Others

26:47 - Navigating Time Management and Responsibilities

35:36 - Overcoming Procrastination and Leading Effectively

51:09 - Discovering Personal Rhythms and Mentoring

57:19 - Overcoming Indecisiveness and Embracing Responsibility

01:03:19 - Building the Puzzle of Your Life

01:12:48 - Taking Control of Financial Narratives

01:22:59 - Promotion Through Reflection and Growth

01:29:04 - Growing Together Towards Freedom

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:05.709 --> 00:00:06.871
Wait, I'm going to say good morning.

00:00:06.871 --> 00:00:07.613
That ain't what I say.

00:00:07.613 --> 00:00:12.683
Hold on, welcome what it is, welcome to the Unlearned Podcast.

00:00:12.683 --> 00:00:16.292
Everyone, I am your host, ruth Abigail, aka RA.

00:00:16.292 --> 00:00:26.260
Hello friends, it's your girl, jaquita, and this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom.

00:00:26.260 --> 00:00:31.853
And yes, it is morning and we have gotten up on this wonderful Saturday morning.

00:00:34.585 --> 00:00:35.567
My Lord, my Lord.

00:00:35.567 --> 00:00:37.289
Good morning friend.

00:00:37.289 --> 00:00:37.932
How are you?

00:00:38.171 --> 00:00:39.033
Great, how are you?

00:00:39.240 --> 00:00:40.862
Look, we got our morning tea.

00:00:40.862 --> 00:00:45.027
Ok, we are not playing the games.

00:00:45.027 --> 00:00:48.652
Okay, and my monogrammed mug?

00:00:48.652 --> 00:00:52.945
Oh, it's like a good middle adult, should all right and mug.

00:00:53.064 --> 00:00:54.689
Absolutely, absolutely.

00:00:54.689 --> 00:00:55.189
I have one.

00:00:55.189 --> 00:00:56.753
I have wait a minute.

00:00:56.753 --> 00:01:02.307
This is my water bottle, but it's got the full name on it listen.

00:01:02.546 --> 00:01:12.671
At some point in our, in our 20s, people went crazy with the monograms, like when we started putting all three initials on things.

00:01:12.671 --> 00:01:20.286
People, middle adults have them on their cars, on their, on their bracelets, necklaces, earrings.

00:01:20.286 --> 00:01:22.608
We just went monogram crazy.

00:01:22.608 --> 00:01:23.691
I don't know what happened.

00:01:23.691 --> 00:01:32.823
It's like one big bridal shower, you know, when a bride's giving gifts put their monograms on it, put their initials on it.

00:01:32.823 --> 00:01:34.406
Now they need initials.

00:01:34.849 --> 00:01:35.191
Aren't you?

00:01:35.191 --> 00:01:46.263
Don't you get a little excited when you get something with your initials on it, though, Like listen, if I get something with my name on it, I'm keeping it forever.

00:01:46.097 --> 00:01:49.114
It's pretty awesome Because I could never go into a store and find Jaquita on a little keychain.

00:01:49.114 --> 00:01:53.796
So whenever somebody gives me something with my name on it, I'm like thank you.

00:01:53.959 --> 00:01:59.147
You know what we need to start adding hood names in the stores.

00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:02.683
You know, I feel like it's time.

00:02:02.683 --> 00:02:04.221
I feel like it's time.

00:02:04.221 --> 00:02:07.450
All the eaters, okay, all the.

00:02:07.450 --> 00:02:13.310
Every name that ends with an A is our time.

00:02:13.310 --> 00:02:16.115
Okay, it's your time.

00:02:16.115 --> 00:02:17.342
It's our time.

00:02:17.342 --> 00:02:19.365
Okay, you got a Q in there.

00:02:19.365 --> 00:02:21.068
It's our time.

00:02:21.068 --> 00:02:23.711
Right, it's our time.

00:02:23.711 --> 00:02:24.734
It's our time.

00:02:24.734 --> 00:02:28.201
You got a hyphen?

00:02:28.201 --> 00:02:29.985
Yep, you got a capital letter.

00:02:29.985 --> 00:02:32.068
You got two capital letters in your name.

00:02:32.408 --> 00:02:35.854
The posture that people get misplaced all the time.

00:02:35.854 --> 00:02:37.021
Yeah.

00:02:37.042 --> 00:02:40.430
You know some weird accent somewhere and you're not French.

00:02:40.430 --> 00:02:41.612
It's our time.

00:02:41.612 --> 00:02:43.545
It's our time to shine.

00:02:43.545 --> 00:02:51.145
My sister has an accent on her middle name and you know, her middle name is Marche.

00:02:51.145 --> 00:02:59.186
It's M-A-R-C-H-E-E with an accent over the last E, and she was named after somebody named Martha.

00:02:59.186 --> 00:03:02.223
She just we're going to switch this up.

00:03:02.223 --> 00:03:02.847
It's going to be Marche.

00:03:02.847 --> 00:03:03.671
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, anybody who?

00:03:03.671 --> 00:03:04.697
We're going to switch this up.

00:03:04.717 --> 00:03:10.838
It's going to be Marche, so yeah anybody who's making monogrammed things and put it in stores.

00:03:10.838 --> 00:03:12.879
Give this some thought.

00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:13.682
You have a market.

00:03:13.682 --> 00:03:20.227
There is an untapped market for this untapped market is crazy.

00:03:20.509 --> 00:03:34.729
There's an untapped market for hood names, you know, and if you get in right now, listen, inclusion is important People feeling loved and respected and seen.

00:03:34.729 --> 00:03:39.072
I want to feel seen, amen, amen.

00:03:39.072 --> 00:03:40.262
Get Jaquita on the keychain.

00:03:40.262 --> 00:03:42.587
Somebody, give me Jaquita on the keychain.

00:03:42.587 --> 00:03:47.306
You can replace her with Abigail as my best friend, because she ain't going to do it.

00:03:47.306 --> 00:03:55.625
So if you can replace, if you can get my name on a key chain, I got a best friend spot just for you.

00:03:55.625 --> 00:03:57.188
Good luck guys.

00:03:57.188 --> 00:03:58.822
Good luck Whatever.

00:03:58.822 --> 00:04:01.200
Good luck, I'm a good best friend.

00:04:01.200 --> 00:04:02.943
I don't know what you're talking about.

00:04:03.544 --> 00:04:09.713
Okay, so Jaquita, I have no idea that there's a real segue to that, but that was fun.

00:04:09.713 --> 00:04:12.764
That was fun.

00:04:12.764 --> 00:04:13.568
What are we talking about today?

00:04:23.639 --> 00:04:23.699
Man.

00:04:23.699 --> 00:04:25.312
So we are discussing, all right, the importance of actually working on yourself.

00:04:25.312 --> 00:04:32.994
Okay, you know, and I think a lot of times we compartmentalize our lives, right, we say I have a work life, I have a personal life, I have a spiritual life.

00:04:32.994 --> 00:04:47.009
Right, I have this side of me, I have that side of me, and when I'm in this space, I operate like this, and when I'm in that space, I operate like that because I can kind of mold myself to fit these different environments.

00:04:47.009 --> 00:05:01.934
And what we're saying is, baby, go ahead and unlearn that, go ahead and pack that ideology up, because everything, every part of your life, is absolutely impacting other areas of your life.

00:05:01.934 --> 00:05:07.684
You are one whole person and you are the person that is showing up in each of those spaces.

00:05:07.684 --> 00:05:22.665
And so we want to talk about how our personal life impacts and either improves or detracts from our professional life, and what we had to unlearn in order to to to to get better, you know that's man.

00:05:22.685 --> 00:05:23.668
You said that perfectly.

00:05:23.668 --> 00:05:24.408
Yeah, you, perfectly.

00:05:24.408 --> 00:05:26.052
You are not three different people.

00:05:26.052 --> 00:05:35.490
We were talking about this earlier the principle of integrity and just the.

00:05:35.490 --> 00:05:40.887
What does it mean to be integral, to have integrity?

00:05:40.887 --> 00:05:43.766
And I think, Queenie, you were saying it means whole.

00:05:43.766 --> 00:05:46.146
Oh wait, I'm coming back.

00:05:46.146 --> 00:05:46.461
Hold on.

00:05:46.461 --> 00:05:48.786
Math is coming to me right now Integer, Uh-oh, my Lord.

00:05:48.826 --> 00:05:49.348
Integer.

00:05:49.348 --> 00:05:51.273
Integer is a whole number.

00:05:51.273 --> 00:05:52.000
Come on here.

00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.303
Come on here.

00:05:53.303 --> 00:05:54.745
We took a little arithmetic.

00:05:54.745 --> 00:05:58.954
Okay, tell me, we don't know none.

00:05:58.954 --> 00:06:00.802
We know what we're doing.

00:06:00.802 --> 00:06:02.966
We took some classes.

00:06:03.286 --> 00:06:05.550
So so, yeah, like that.

00:06:05.550 --> 00:06:15.464
That word literally means to be, to be whole, and so the idea of living with integrity is your, everything is.

00:06:15.464 --> 00:06:22.980
The idea of living, of living with integrity means that you are showing up as the whole you, all the time.

00:06:23.261 --> 00:06:23.521
Yeah.

00:06:24.382 --> 00:06:33.456
And I think the nuance is understanding that it's not necessarily that everyone sees every part of you.

00:06:33.456 --> 00:06:41.050
That is not what integrity has to mean, but it does have to mean that what they do see of you is true.

00:06:41.550 --> 00:06:41.812
Yeah.

00:06:42.379 --> 00:06:43.663
It is true, yeah, it you, it is true.

00:06:43.663 --> 00:07:01.076
And so, understanding that there are, there are, you can only you can only kind of hide parts of you that you want to hide for so long because of, eventually, who you really are is going to show up in the room, for sure.

00:07:01.076 --> 00:07:06.060
You don't want people to be taken by surprise and I think you know our professional life.

00:07:06.060 --> 00:07:32.326
I think for most of us most most of us and most of you are who are listening have a profession, you're doing something in the workplace, right, you have a job you got got, you're at your um, you're in the workplace and, like Queda was saying, we can, we can think that we can compartmentalize who we are in in work and outside of work yeah and say, okay, when I'm outside of work I'm gonna be like this one.

00:07:32.387 --> 00:07:45.187
Inside of work I'll be like that yeah even if you think that that's happening, it eventually will let you down because listen if that person is not real, the real.

00:07:45.187 --> 00:07:46.411
You will show up eventually.

00:07:46.779 --> 00:07:57.872
Listen, I believe the young folks at one point in time was referring to it as your representative, right, and you send your representative to go and show up in different spaces.

00:07:57.872 --> 00:08:06.642
You know, I think a lot of times we talk about it in dating, right, like when you're dating somebody, everybody comes first with their representative, right?

00:08:06.642 --> 00:08:14.081
Hello, hi, oh, my gosh, yes, I'm so kind and wonderful and absolutely a joy to be around.

00:08:14.081 --> 00:08:29.795
Right, you come with your representative because you want to make good impressions, you want to be seen in a great light, right, but as we know, in dating, eventually, if you continue to date and observe and get to know the person, what's real is going to show up.

00:08:29.795 --> 00:08:36.374
That representative rubs off, right, and you cannot keep up the front that you got it all together.

00:08:36.899 --> 00:08:45.414
Eventually, who you are will show up and the things that you've either worked on or haven't worked on will come to the forefront.

00:08:45.414 --> 00:08:48.910
I tell people, character is neither good or bad.

00:08:48.910 --> 00:08:51.649
You are not either a good person or a bad person.

00:08:51.649 --> 00:09:16.009
There are just areas in your life that are just a little less developed than others and if you don't put the work in to develop those areas, it will absolutely show up in your professional life Right and we're going to give many examples, many examples of what we've seen, what we've experienced, what we've done and how we've kind of had to push through that.

00:09:16.972 --> 00:09:28.278
And and and also just understanding that working on yourself personally is going to positively impact you professionally.

00:09:28.778 --> 00:09:29.059
For sure.

00:09:29.320 --> 00:09:38.595
And it can have the growth you're looking for professionally first, is most likely going to start off personally.

00:09:38.595 --> 00:09:53.405
And so I think a lot of us, you know we go through this professional growth, these tracks, and what we don't realize is that some of that stuff is not going to be possible, um, until you, you get you together.

00:09:53.405 --> 00:10:16.936
And so, um, I, I think you know that's what we, and hopefully, at the end of this conversation you'll be able to kind of identify some ways that you can, you can grow in in in your job and if you, you know for, um, uh, what's where I'm looking for, what's where I'm looking for, like a, a raise, I don't know Promotion, promotion, thank you Promotion.

00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:20.288
Promotions, um other opportunities.

00:10:27.220 --> 00:10:35.126
Those things aren't available to you because you haven't't your personal self is not prepared to go in that direction professionally, my lord, and you think, because you're good at your job, that you should be elevated.

00:10:35.126 --> 00:10:41.201
But you have not shown them that you can carry the weight of that work, because it's more than just.

00:10:41.201 --> 00:10:44.484
It's more than just a skill set, it's an aptitude.

00:10:44.484 --> 00:10:53.671
And just because you have the skills to do it doesn't mean you have the capacity to do it, because you haven't developed the aptitude for it.

00:10:54.392 --> 00:11:02.557
So I think one of the biggest mistakes that and I wish I had some numbers around this and they're somewhere and we can find them and maybe post them.

00:11:02.557 --> 00:11:26.556
Producer Joy, can you make sure to post this, if we have it, so that most the majority of people who are looking to be promoted like when you go from one area to another in your job most of the time people are promoted based on how well they do the work in their current job.

00:11:27.181 --> 00:11:27.480
Mm-hmm.

00:11:28.341 --> 00:11:39.201
And so what is falsely believed is that because I excel here, I must also be able to excel over there.

00:11:39.201 --> 00:11:49.422
And that's not true because, to your point, it's not just about a skill, it is about aptitude and capacity.

00:11:49.422 --> 00:12:00.010
So most promotions are going to have more responsibility and a lot of those responsibilities, and I think it's the other thing that is not always fully understood.

00:12:00.010 --> 00:12:10.926
When it comes to moving forward and progressing professionally, the more responsibility you have typically means the more you have to deal with people.

00:12:11.648 --> 00:12:13.032
And when you have to deal with people.

00:12:13.032 --> 00:12:26.780
You yourself, your personal self, is going to be the most important development you can have, and the way you deal with people outside of your work life is going to be how you deal with people inside of it.

00:12:26.780 --> 00:12:36.109
And if you don't deal with people correctly inside of your work life, you will not progress well, and I've learned that over time.

00:12:36.109 --> 00:12:42.527
And just like having different roles that require large like require more oversight.

00:12:42.527 --> 00:12:48.246
Right, oversight is it's not about what you do, it's about how you help other people do what they do.

00:12:48.246 --> 00:12:57.705
But if you don't know how to deal with people, you're not going to be good at that, which is also why a lot of people don't really a lot of people have a hard time with this.

00:12:57.705 --> 00:13:19.326
Managers, people that oversee larger things even though it doesn't feel like they are always doing more, they're going to get paid more because you are actually using more energy across the board than if you have a thing that you are having to do.

00:13:19.827 --> 00:13:20.129
Yeah.

00:13:20.610 --> 00:13:21.211
Does that make sense?

00:13:21.561 --> 00:13:22.624
No, that makes perfect sense.

00:13:22.624 --> 00:13:45.124
The way I'm kind of seeing it in my head right now is that if you consider yourself, like your actual person, to be a dish right and your gifts and your talents being kind of what's being poured out of the dish, if you have a dirty dish, your gifts and your talents can be fantastic.

00:13:45.124 --> 00:13:54.576
You could have, you know, the most amazing, sparkling, amazing, just great productive gift.

00:13:54.576 --> 00:14:32.841
But if it's in a dirty container because you haven't done the self-work of really pushing yourself to have greater character in areas that you know you need to work on right, things that are, you haven't gotten somebody in your life because we don't see all of our blind spots, you haven't gotten somebody or either trusted the voices that God has sent into your life to show you hey, your container is dirty right, your gifts and what you're pouring out to people will be, will be tarnished by the, by whatever's in your dish that you didn't clean up before you started pouring.

00:14:33.121 --> 00:14:33.644
That's good.

00:14:33.764 --> 00:14:45.595
And so you're thinking, oh, I'm pouring out all my good stuff, but it has fragments and particles of all of the things that you didn't clean up and that you didn't work through.

00:14:45.595 --> 00:14:47.505
And they're getting both.

00:14:47.505 --> 00:14:51.311
And you think that people are tasting your intentions.

00:14:51.311 --> 00:15:00.244
You think that they're tasting your good intentions and they are tasting your own self-work.

00:15:00.244 --> 00:15:02.269
Is what they're actually consuming?

00:15:02.620 --> 00:15:09.148
People are consuming the work you put in, consuming what you, the work you put on in on yourself, and not the work you think you're putting in on them.

00:15:09.148 --> 00:15:17.254
You think, oh, I'm just so loving and so kind and you know, you always hear people say I just give to everyone.

00:15:17.254 --> 00:15:19.803
You know, I just sacrifice so much.

00:15:19.803 --> 00:15:28.908
No, baby, we're not tasting sacrifice, we're tasting the lack of attention that you pay to yourself and it's and, and and.

00:15:28.908 --> 00:15:36.812
You think that we're reading your sacrifice, but we're also reading, like, the things in you that don't taste good.

00:15:36.812 --> 00:15:39.886
Yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're tasting.

00:15:40.059 --> 00:15:41.003
Ooh, she, she got.

00:15:41.003 --> 00:16:02.663
She look insecure, yes, right, and she thinks, because she's spending five hours after work working with us, that we're like, oh, she just, she's so loving and caring and kind, but you don't realize that while you were spending that five hours at the work overseeing and managing us, that you belittled us, that you made us feel like we didn't know what we were doing.

00:16:02.663 --> 00:16:07.504
That you made us feel like you know that maybe we couldn't handle things.

00:16:07.504 --> 00:16:12.783
That you made us question ourselves right, because that's what we're actually tasting.

00:16:12.783 --> 00:16:15.850
We are not tasting what you think we're tasting.

00:16:15.850 --> 00:16:27.341
We're tasting what's actually going on inside of you, and I think that that's one of the biggest things that I have had to learn as a leader is that it is not my intention that comes across.

00:16:27.341 --> 00:16:40.562
Like you know, I can have good intentions, but if I haven't cleaned up my vessel, I'm not going to pour out what people actually need, because I'm still going to be trying to serve myself instead of serving the people.

00:16:41.504 --> 00:16:50.287
So you, this wasn't on my list of things to unlearn, but what you just said I I'm to give an example of that man.

00:16:50.287 --> 00:16:58.529
I had a um one of, uh, one of my colleagues who is uh, you know, we've, we've gotten, we have high respect for each other.

00:16:58.529 --> 00:17:07.363
I've gotten pretty close and so there, we pretty honest with each other, right, she's, she's, she's one of of of the people in my, in my world, who will, who I can trust to tell me the truth.

00:17:07.363 --> 00:17:13.740
And, um, a while back, she said, uh, all right, you don't trust your team.

00:17:13.740 --> 00:17:15.484
I said what you mean?

00:17:16.166 --> 00:17:31.316
she was like you don't trust your team, like you've got to trust team and when I, when I realized was to your point, my intention to have a servant's attitude, I wanted to be there for them.

00:17:31.316 --> 00:17:35.070
I wanted to make sure that they had everything they needed.

00:17:35.070 --> 00:17:40.125
I was around and I was there and I was like, hey, what you need, I got this.

00:17:40.125 --> 00:17:44.769
You know, blah blah blah, I'm thinking I'm helping them by serving them.

00:17:44.769 --> 00:17:47.863
This you know, blah blah blah, I'm thinking I'm helping them by serving them.

00:17:47.863 --> 00:17:51.509
What she's telling me is you don't trust us because you don't.

00:17:51.509 --> 00:17:54.463
There are things that you don't have to be here for.

00:17:54.463 --> 00:17:55.307
Like, we got it.

00:17:55.307 --> 00:17:57.034
We know you have other things to do.

00:17:57.054 --> 00:17:58.839
I'm sorry this ain't towards you.

00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:06.071
Keep going and that I had to really I had to really take that in and then to connect it to the personal.

00:18:06.071 --> 00:18:08.801
I realized I do that with everybody.

00:18:08.801 --> 00:18:16.744
I'm always checking come on here like hey it's not isolated you know, I it's not isolated you know, even here, right.

00:18:16.744 --> 00:18:26.960
Like you know, I've been married for about a year and I have had to that is something I've realized, like I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

00:18:27.840 --> 00:18:31.027
I feel like we just had that wedding like two months ago.

00:18:31.788 --> 00:18:32.730
It's wild, I know.

00:18:33.050 --> 00:18:33.692
Wow.

00:18:34.272 --> 00:18:37.686
Guys, let's pause that, that was, that's wild.

00:18:37.686 --> 00:18:43.171
But anyway, so I've, I've had to, I've had to realize.

00:18:43.171 --> 00:18:56.296
I mean I've realized at home, like when I asked my husband to do something, I will more often than I should be like, hey, what you need, you need me to help you with that.

00:18:56.296 --> 00:18:59.906
And he's like I mean I got it.

00:18:59.906 --> 00:19:01.029
I got it.

00:19:01.029 --> 00:19:11.074
I got it, it's my natural response when I feel like either the timing isn't the way I want it to be or the method isn't the way I want it to be.

00:19:11.273 --> 00:19:11.994
My Lord.

00:19:15.220 --> 00:19:16.481
I show up as a helper but really it's a lack of trust.

00:19:16.481 --> 00:19:19.405
Girl, and see, this is what we're talking about.

00:19:19.405 --> 00:19:27.438
This is what we're talking about, like you have got to dig a little deeper.

00:19:27.438 --> 00:19:28.819
You have got to dig a little deeper.

00:19:28.819 --> 00:19:30.141
You got to dig a little deeper.

00:19:30.141 --> 00:19:36.212
And a lot of times people are judging themselves based off of what they think other people are seeing.

00:19:36.212 --> 00:19:45.992
Right, if you, if you allow yourself to believe that OK, as long as other people see me as helpful, then I'm good.

00:19:45.992 --> 00:19:57.224
But you haven't really really dug a little bit deeper to see what is causing you to do some of the things that you do and to move in some of the ways that you move.

00:19:57.987 --> 00:20:00.271
I think about even my own leadership style.

00:20:00.271 --> 00:20:04.590
I really tout that I am a transformative leader.

00:20:04.590 --> 00:20:19.130
Like I am going to inspire and motivate and push people to be to activate their potential and to work in their, in their and get to their like highest potential and to work independently to do that.

00:20:19.130 --> 00:20:26.493
And I look back at that and I'm like some of that is because I believe strongly in independence.

00:20:26.493 --> 00:20:48.742
Like I believe strongly in like you should be able to like, stand on your own two feet and and and make a thing happen, and I'm going to be there to support you, I'm going to be there to help you, but I'm not always going to like give all of the answers and and and and provide all of the all of the things.

00:20:48.742 --> 00:20:54.086
Like I want you to go out and and and get it and figure it out, cause I, I believe it's going to make you better.

00:20:54.429 --> 00:21:25.086
But I'm like, even as you were talking, I was like I realized that some of that is grounded in like my own, like experience, as feeling like I always had to do things by myself and that, and that there's like an a a sense of rejection there, that like I don't want to be rejected, so I always like make it out the mud myself, or else, unless somebody comes, and they're, and I think they're going to be there, and then they're not Right, and so what have I been imparting on my team?

00:21:25.086 --> 00:21:29.712
Right, in a way of thinking that you know we make these things idealistic.

00:21:29.712 --> 00:21:34.105
You know we make, we make these idealistic principles.

00:21:34.105 --> 00:21:36.471
You know like, oh yeah, independence.

00:21:36.471 --> 00:21:39.463
You know, go do your thing, right, but it's it's still.

00:21:39.463 --> 00:22:00.166
You're still, they're still drinking from the cup that I'm pouring from, and the more mindful I am of what needs to be cleaned up in my cup, the better I can serve them, to give them what they actually need and not just serving from a way that I think makes sense because of my own experiences.

00:22:01.449 --> 00:22:08.502
So, queda, what is something you have specifically had to unlearn or you think is important for us to unlearn about?

00:22:08.502 --> 00:22:15.701
Um, this false narrative of compartmentalizing yourself in places who?

00:22:15.803 --> 00:22:18.146
okay, so let me think so.

00:22:18.146 --> 00:22:23.501
Of course you guys know we have a list, um, because, uh, this, this, this is just how we do.

00:22:23.501 --> 00:22:24.605
This is just what we do.

00:22:24.605 --> 00:22:25.487
This is just what we do.

00:22:25.487 --> 00:22:26.931
Okay, so I'm going to start us off with this.

00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:36.752
If you can't love and appreciate yourself, you will struggle to appreciate and champion the gifts of others.

00:22:36.752 --> 00:22:40.710
I had to unlearn self-loathing.

00:22:40.710 --> 00:22:43.826
It is just this.

00:22:43.826 --> 00:22:50.948
You know, even though, like, sometimes you present really confident on the outside, on the inside you're like man.

00:22:50.948 --> 00:23:16.512
I wish I could be more this and I wish I was more like this person and I wish that I showed up more like this and like when I was in my twenties, I really struggled to think that I had the type of personality or the type of gift set that could be successful, like, because I spent so much of my education learning ministry and learning the Lord.

00:23:16.660 --> 00:23:24.273
And when I got out into, like, nonprofit and higher ed, they were like baby, don't, none of that matter, can you make a spreadsheet?

00:23:24.273 --> 00:23:27.439
They were like baby, none of that matters, can you make a spreadsheet?

00:23:27.439 --> 00:23:32.491
You know, can you sit down and organize an eight-hour day to be productive?

00:23:32.491 --> 00:23:37.321
And I was like I did not learn this.

00:23:37.321 --> 00:23:46.974
This is not how I was trained, and I spent a lot of time feeling like I had to be someone different in order to be successful.

00:23:46.974 --> 00:23:57.638
I spent a lot of time trying to force myself into a mold that I wasn't created in.

00:23:57.638 --> 00:23:58.701
I kept popping out of it.

00:23:58.701 --> 00:24:02.730
I kept saying okay, jaquita, be more structured, be more time managed, just be more organized.

00:24:02.730 --> 00:24:16.691
I would try to stuff myself down into that, but when you got so much on the inside of you that it doesn't fit the mold that other people are trying to put you in, you are going to pop out every single time.

00:24:17.192 --> 00:24:31.795
Right, and so I had to, in order to really begin working on myself and to really be able to to like begin working on myself and to really be able to to like seriously, um, ascertain or discern my strengths and weaknesses, I had to learn to love what I had.

00:24:31.795 --> 00:24:33.421
I had to learn to love what I got.

00:24:33.421 --> 00:24:36.130
You know like I had to learn to love my voice.

00:24:36.130 --> 00:24:38.739
I used to really not like my voice.

00:24:38.739 --> 00:24:43.511
Somebody said something real disrespectful to me in high school, but I ain't going to say it on here.

00:24:43.511 --> 00:24:44.965
But I get called.

00:24:44.965 --> 00:24:47.505
I go through drive-thrus all the time and get called sir.

00:24:47.505 --> 00:24:53.483
You know, I get told all the time like I just love your voice.

00:24:53.483 --> 00:24:55.869
It's just such a big, deep voice.

00:24:55.869 --> 00:25:02.532
I'm like like a me, like what y'all trying to say, right, that was like high school Jaquita and college Jaquita.

00:25:02.913 --> 00:25:09.738
I was very insecure about my voice, but my voice is the thing that I use the most in everything that God has called me to do.

00:25:09.738 --> 00:25:11.946
I had to learn to learn.

00:25:11.946 --> 00:25:17.789
I had to learn to love the gift and when I loved my voice, I started taking better care of it.

00:25:17.789 --> 00:25:27.463
Right, I started being more intentional about okay, you know, learning, like steam treatments, drinking tea, right, drinking, staying hydrated.

00:25:27.724 --> 00:25:34.326
When I'm drinking water, I'm thinking I got to drink water because it makes my voice better, right, among other things.

00:25:34.326 --> 00:25:39.703
But, like, if I know I got to speak, I'm chugging back water, right, because I know my voice is heavy.

00:25:39.703 --> 00:25:43.548
But when you love you, you'll work on you differently.

00:25:43.548 --> 00:26:12.510
And when you love you and you start to do self-work, it is easier to love and champion the gifts of the people that you're leading, because you don't see them as competition and you don't see yourself mirrored in them, but you see the beauty of who they are and you're able to better develop people when you've learned to love and appreciate yourself and this is why I like the strength finders model so much, because it high.

00:26:12.590 --> 00:26:16.604
It really helps people to love the best parts of them.

00:26:16.604 --> 00:26:29.170
Yeah, so much on the difficult things, because, to your point, when you can see the, when you can see and cherish the strengths in yourself, you are able to do that a lot better in others.

00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:32.641
You mentioned the time management thing.

00:26:32.641 --> 00:26:34.326
I think this is really interesting.

00:26:34.326 --> 00:26:37.938
Very few of us are good at time management.

00:26:37.938 --> 00:26:41.472
If we're being honest, we actually waste so much.

00:26:41.472 --> 00:26:46.065
I realized this is me, this is me, this may not be you, but this was me.

00:26:46.065 --> 00:26:57.084
When I got married and we have a nine-year-old, I realized how much time I wasted before.

00:26:57.084 --> 00:27:04.945
When I was single, I wasted so much time I did not, and I would have said I'm a good time manager.

00:27:04.945 --> 00:27:12.631
And I would have said I'm a good time manager and I would have said that in both areas I would have said that Right, I mean.

00:27:13.152 --> 00:27:16.930
I presented that, Like you know, when I got married.

00:27:16.930 --> 00:27:20.541
That changed and what it also changed, what it also revealed, is at work.

00:27:20.541 --> 00:27:27.094
I'm not managing my time well, because I was getting things done a lot faster, because I had to.

00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:28.000
Yeah.

00:27:28.500 --> 00:27:33.772
Right, and I realized, oh like, no, I'm not as good at this as I thought.

00:27:33.772 --> 00:27:38.971
So, to your, to your, I think, just you know that piece of it is really interesting.

00:27:38.971 --> 00:27:49.914
Um, because time management is something we always talk about as this really important professional principle that most people do very badly in all areas of their life.

00:27:49.914 --> 00:27:57.685
Right, there's a According to a study by Atlantizen that's how you say that I don't know.

00:27:57.685 --> 00:28:01.467
Atlassian, atlassian, that's it.

00:28:01.467 --> 00:28:05.785
Yeah, I think it's Atlassian.

00:28:05.785 --> 00:28:08.130
Y'all can look up who exactly they are.

00:28:08.130 --> 00:28:10.513
They do some research around, like workplace stuff, I have heard.

00:28:10.513 --> 00:28:18.933
Okay, the average employee spends approximately 31 hours a month in unproductive meetings 31 hours a month.

00:28:19.259 --> 00:28:20.240
Girl who you telling.

00:28:20.721 --> 00:28:30.213
Like, like and and and so this, this principle of, and so it makes me think that's a lot of hours to be wasting.

00:28:30.213 --> 00:28:34.685
But how much of our time do we waste outside of work too?

00:28:35.836 --> 00:28:37.983
Man a couple of things.

00:28:37.983 --> 00:28:42.342
One, when I teach time management.

00:28:42.342 --> 00:28:51.548
One thing you will also unlearn as you move from that young adult to middle adult is that the more that, like, you're responsible for, like as you walk in a room.

00:28:51.548 --> 00:28:56.461
So I taught for like seven years, seven or eight years, and every time I would get to the time management lesson.

00:28:56.461 --> 00:29:02.238
I taught for like seven years, seven or eight years, and every time I would get to the time management lesson I'd be like dog on it, because what you teach, you will get tested on.

00:29:02.238 --> 00:29:05.846
The students in the classroom are not the only ones getting tested.

00:29:05.846 --> 00:29:09.624
The people who are teaching also have to get tested in what they teach.

00:29:09.624 --> 00:29:10.445
It's just.

00:29:10.445 --> 00:29:17.397
I think that's just how the Lord works, okay, and so I knew that the week that I was teaching time management, I was like doggone it.

00:29:17.397 --> 00:29:28.356
This is about to be a week and I'm about to see how terrible my time management is Right, but the one thing that we teach when we teach time management is that you are not actually managing time.

00:29:28.917 --> 00:29:30.359
We don't have that ability.

00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:31.923
Right Time has already been set.

00:29:31.923 --> 00:29:33.744
You got 24 hours in a day.

00:29:33.744 --> 00:29:36.588
You got 60 minutes in an hour.

00:29:36.588 --> 00:29:41.021
You got seven days in a week, 365 days a year.

00:29:41.021 --> 00:29:42.846
That is already set.

00:29:42.846 --> 00:29:44.756
You don't get the opportunity to manage it.

00:29:44.756 --> 00:29:52.980
You don't get to say, hey, let me steal three hours from Monday and put it into Friday because Monday is my least favorite day of the week.

00:29:52.980 --> 00:29:56.409
I don't get to manage my time like that.

00:29:56.409 --> 00:29:58.460
I have to manage myself right.

00:29:58.460 --> 00:29:59.962
I have to manage my energy.

00:29:59.962 --> 00:30:02.147
I have to manage my organization.

00:30:02.147 --> 00:30:06.864
I have to manage my ability to maneuver from projects.

00:30:06.864 --> 00:30:16.969
What I have learned about myself that I am trying to unlearn I'm not good at it yet is that when I am actually in a project, I am really good at managing my time.

00:30:17.576 --> 00:30:21.040
It is managing the time between transitions.

00:30:21.040 --> 00:30:31.044
Like I don't manage transitions well, like when I'm done with something, I'm like, oh, I deserve a two hour break from that.

00:30:31.044 --> 00:30:36.036
You know, let me lay back, let me go see what the people doing.

00:30:36.036 --> 00:30:37.798
Hey y'all, how's it going?

00:30:37.798 --> 00:30:38.538
What's up?

00:30:38.538 --> 00:30:43.181
All right, I just got done working, okay, I'm trying to.

00:30:43.181 --> 00:31:05.096
I'm trying to, you know, but my personality requires a great balance of work and play, right, but I have not mastered the transitions Right, and so I end up wasting a lot of time in between things because I don't transition well, um, especially when it requires me driving, I don't transition from one place to another.

00:31:05.096 --> 00:31:16.224
Well, because I linger, because I lag, whatever, whatever, as you all may currently know, I'm dog sitting, um, and uh, a dog I'm well huh.

00:31:16.545 --> 00:31:17.767
Is the dog still alive and well?

00:31:18.167 --> 00:31:20.398
The dog is alive and very well.

00:31:20.398 --> 00:31:22.025
The dog is very loved.

00:31:22.025 --> 00:31:24.539
The dog is currently.

00:31:24.539 --> 00:31:30.029
I put her bed in front of my patio door where the sun is shining.

00:31:30.029 --> 00:31:32.422
She's laid out sunbathing.

00:31:32.422 --> 00:31:38.576
She is over there having a great time and I'm proud of myself for that.

00:31:38.576 --> 00:31:45.135
I kept an animal alive and I don't know that their owner necessarily knew that that was a concern I had.

00:31:45.135 --> 00:32:04.109
Um, but listen, we out here with happy, well-fed dogs, but she has to be walked in the morning, walked in the evening, fed at both times.

00:32:04.829 --> 00:32:11.557
I am a very single woman, very single woman.

00:32:11.557 --> 00:32:16.919
Shoot your shot, guys, don't be shy, move on, don't be shy, shoot your shot.

00:32:16.919 --> 00:32:18.736
But I operate on my own time.

00:32:18.736 --> 00:32:21.824
If I want to move a little late, I move a little late.

00:32:21.824 --> 00:32:24.978
If I want to come home late, I comes home late.

00:32:24.978 --> 00:32:28.544
Okay, my job requires a lot of late nights.

00:32:29.065 --> 00:32:35.784
But I found myself like in the middle of the job being like, hey, y'all, I got a, uh, I got a.

00:32:35.784 --> 00:32:40.843
Good, you know, normally I'm like I'm going to shut this event down with y'all.

00:32:40.843 --> 00:32:44.036
Come on, even last night we were doing a mini golf.

00:32:44.036 --> 00:32:46.661
Glow in the dark, mini dog, uh, mini golf.

00:32:46.661 --> 00:32:50.249
I was like, yeah, I got to leave by at least eight.

00:32:50.249 --> 00:32:52.621
That's the latest Cause I live an hour away from work.

00:32:52.621 --> 00:32:54.506
I got to leave by eight y'all.

00:32:54.506 --> 00:33:02.817
So, uh, you know I got this dog.

00:33:02.817 --> 00:33:03.661
So what y'all need me to do?

00:33:03.661 --> 00:33:04.363
Real quick Because I got to go.

00:33:04.384 --> 00:33:17.796
I had to be so much more aware of my time and I think that that's something that, like as a young adult, you need to know, like the things that you're praying for, right, the promotion, the family, you know the, the titles, the, all those things you're praying for.

00:33:17.796 --> 00:33:26.397
When I added dog sitter to my list, that added a different requirement for every other area of my life.

00:33:26.397 --> 00:33:30.105
Right, the people at work don't care that I got a dog.

00:33:30.105 --> 00:33:34.181
They haven't met the dog, they're not in love with the dog, they don't they.

00:33:34.181 --> 00:33:36.976
They they care if not, but I have to be.

00:33:36.976 --> 00:33:47.365
When I show up in that space, I am now Jaquita the dog sitter, and that's a consideration that I'm bringing into that space and it it changes the way that I operate.

00:33:47.686 --> 00:33:49.215
I had to move more efficiently.

00:33:49.215 --> 00:33:55.567
I had to move, I had to and I had to move along because I'm the one with, with the added responsibility.

00:33:55.567 --> 00:34:02.780
So last night I was like, hey, I'm going to take all the snacks, I'm going to move them to the other place.

00:34:02.780 --> 00:34:03.343
I'm going to carry this.

00:34:03.343 --> 00:34:04.727
I'm going to, I'm going to still do my part, but I have.

00:34:04.727 --> 00:34:05.931
I have more to think about now.

00:34:05.931 --> 00:34:15.202
Um, and I think that that's how you have to think about promotion in general is that you're going to have more to carry and you're going to have to be more mindful of managing yourself.

00:34:16.585 --> 00:34:38.715
So how do you see this is interesting, how do you see your, your, your time as a dog sitter, my Lord, impacting you at work, like, do you see, can you see how this can maybe, like, begin to put you in a little bit of a different mode when you're going back, begin to put you in a little bit of a different mode when you're going back.

00:34:43.416 --> 00:34:52.641
Yeah, yes, definitely, and that, like I realized I was like this is actually really helpful for me because I I, uh am a person that shirks responsibility, like I don't really want it, but when I got it, I'm actually pretty good at it.

00:34:52.641 --> 00:34:56.275
You know like I can manage it well, but I have avoided it as long as I could by the time I get it.

00:34:56.275 --> 00:34:58.186
You know like I can manage it well, but I have avoided it as long as I could by the time I get it.

00:34:58.186 --> 00:35:05.996
But I will say that, like I, it gave me a purpose to to like what I'm doing.

00:35:05.996 --> 00:35:36.746
So like when I'm going to work, like having something constantly on your mind, thinking like not, I'm doing it for the dog Right, but like a lot of my day became set up by the dog Right when I wake up in the morning, when I go to bed at night and not.

00:35:36.887 --> 00:35:42.072
And also the attention that she doesn't necessarily give back.

00:35:42.072 --> 00:35:48.380
And there are times when I absolutely don't feel like it, but I can feel the Lord saying you have to do it.

00:35:48.380 --> 00:35:51.503
Wow, like, like, because she requires it.

00:35:51.503 --> 00:35:56.664
Right, I don't feel like it, but she requires it and a lot of time in leadership, in relationships.

00:35:56.664 --> 00:35:58.295
There are things I don't feel like it, but she requires it and a lot of time in leadership, in relationships.

00:35:58.295 --> 00:36:04.277
There are things that you don't feel like doing and that you think that they should be okay with.

00:36:04.277 --> 00:36:05.360
One day I told her.

00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:07.385
I said do you see anybody giving me belly rubs?

00:36:07.385 --> 00:36:09.516
Why you need all these belly rubs?

00:36:09.516 --> 00:36:12.181
Like I don't.

00:36:12.181 --> 00:36:16.286
I'm not getting no love, I don't get no attention, I don't get none of this.

00:36:16.286 --> 00:36:28.726
You, you always come and asking for this, like I got it to give, but but I, I have learned that, like sometimes, being a leader means providing the things that you don't think the other person needs.

00:36:28.726 --> 00:36:37.086
But when you step back and and evaluate, when I give it to her, she's, she's fine.

00:36:37.628 --> 00:36:37.847
Yeah.

00:36:38.108 --> 00:36:40.878
It's when I don't that she starts pushing for it.

00:36:40.878 --> 00:36:56.485
And when we make people push for the things that they need, we take them out of an element where they can be productive, because now they are focused on getting their need versus what can I do in this space to make it better?

00:36:56.485 --> 00:36:57.387
Like what?

00:36:57.387 --> 00:36:58.518
How can I soar?

00:36:58.518 --> 00:37:00.284
Because you have made them.

00:37:00.284 --> 00:37:08.967
You have made them feel bad about a need, and so I have learned to pay better attention to what the people around me need.

00:37:08.967 --> 00:37:22.914
Like they're not coming up to me panting and begging and, you know, patting my hand, like she take a little paw and go use this hand for what it's made for and rub my belly Right, right.

00:37:22.914 --> 00:37:24.702
Like they're not coming up to me like that.

00:37:24.702 --> 00:37:31.168
But what are the ways that I'm recognizing that maybe I'm not meeting a need that they?

00:37:31.168 --> 00:37:37.869
That they really that they really have that if they, if they had that need met, what could they do?

00:37:37.869 --> 00:37:40.523
What more could they do if that need was met?

00:37:41.974 --> 00:37:49.405
That's I think that's really really good and I think so yesterday it's funny, you were just kind of especially.

00:37:49.405 --> 00:37:53.784
I think the thing that kind of resonated with me was especially when you don't feel like it.

00:37:53.804 --> 00:38:05.847
My Lord with me was especially when you don't feel like it, and that kind of attitude is something that is transferable and will be transferable.

00:38:06.208 --> 00:38:25.262
Like, how many times do we not do stuff in our personal lives just because we don't want to do it right, and then look in our professional world and look up and be like I just don't feel like doing this and then things don't get done that you need to do, like I mean, we all do it yesterday.

00:38:25.262 --> 00:38:49.001
Um, so we're going on the, we're taking the, the, uh, the girls and angel street on a trip to Chicago next week and we're driving shy town, um, we're driving Chi-town, we're driving our vans, and so myself really this was a family affair myself, the kid and the husband all took part in preparing the vans for the trip.

00:38:49.001 --> 00:38:53.916
So my family is actually going to follow us down in their car.

00:38:53.916 --> 00:38:55.159
They're coming too.

00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:59.510
So Ty, who's my husband, said the kid my family's actually going to follow us down in their car.

00:38:59.510 --> 00:38:59.931
They're coming too.

00:38:59.931 --> 00:39:01.574
So Ty, who's my husband, said the kid is this is part of his earning.

00:39:01.574 --> 00:39:08.561
He's going to, he's going to help to clean these vans, and he did he's nine, he's nine.

00:39:08.782 --> 00:39:14.128
And he, he told me yesterday one of the vans he was like this looks terrible.

00:39:14.128 --> 00:39:23.918
They've got trash all in the van, they're worse than me, and he said.

00:39:23.918 --> 00:39:25.882
And then he told me he said you need to tell them that they have to do better.

00:39:25.902 --> 00:39:27.126
This is the nine-year-old talking to the teenagers.

00:39:27.146 --> 00:39:31.159
Okay, and I said you are absolutely right, dude, Like this is pretty bad.

00:39:31.159 --> 00:39:33.146
I actually I'm not in the vans a lot, this is my first time really seeing it.

00:39:33.146 --> 00:39:33.887
And I said, yeah, this is pretty bad.

00:39:33.887 --> 00:39:39.358
I actually I'm not in the vans a lot, this is my first time really seeing it and I say this is pretty bad, Okay and so.

00:39:39.358 --> 00:39:42.306
But I said, but you know what leaders do, buddy?

00:39:42.306 --> 00:39:45.063
We do things that other people don't always want to do.

00:39:46.016 --> 00:39:53.365
And so he was like okay, I said, if you're going to be a leader one day, this is part of it, right?

00:39:53.766 --> 00:39:53.967
Yeah.

00:39:54.347 --> 00:40:04.065
Because he likes to tell people what to do, and that's not to say that all leaders are like that, but he is just in a space where I know your leadership style you know Giving them.

00:40:06.579 --> 00:40:11.461
So we had a really good talk and he understood that and he also understood accountability.

00:40:11.461 --> 00:40:16.121
He said, okay, and you need to explain to them like that this is unacceptable, right.

00:40:16.121 --> 00:40:17.916
And you need to explain to them like that this is unacceptable, right.

00:40:17.916 --> 00:40:20.701
And so I love what you said.

00:40:20.701 --> 00:40:25.836
It was a moment to really like it was again we were doing something.

00:40:25.836 --> 00:40:31.766
This, this was our own personal time doing something.

00:40:31.766 --> 00:40:33.496
We really it needed to be done.

00:40:33.496 --> 00:40:38.903
None of us wanted to do do it and it really wasn't our fault, right no, we didn't dirty up that van.

00:40:39.306 --> 00:40:41.454
This wasn't I hadn't been in the van, he hadn't been in the van.

00:40:41.454 --> 00:40:46.242
But we're doing it anyway and you know it, really it.

00:40:46.242 --> 00:40:58.920
It helps to um instill those habits of I'm gonna do it anyway, even if I don't feel like it, even if I don't think it's just I'm going to do it anyway.

00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:10.460
And those traits transfer into your professional life and so cause you're going to have so many moments where you're like I shouldn't even be doing this, it's not my job, it's not on my job description.

00:41:10.460 --> 00:41:11.342
All that.

00:41:11.342 --> 00:41:13.447
We all, we all have those moments.

00:41:13.735 --> 00:41:13.934
Yeah.

00:41:14.255 --> 00:41:15.538
What does it say about you?

00:41:15.538 --> 00:41:24.251
That you're able to do those things that you don't want to do, because you actually do them outside of the workplace as well.

00:41:24.251 --> 00:41:27.664
I don't feel like cooking today, but I'm going to cook anyway.

00:41:27.664 --> 00:41:31.766
I don't feel like driving to the store.

00:41:31.766 --> 00:41:34.364
I want an Instacart, but I'm going to drive anyway.

00:41:34.364 --> 00:41:35.842
I don't feel like.

00:41:37.117 --> 00:41:40.547
I don't feel like calling this person and checking on them, but they need to be checked on.

00:41:40.547 --> 00:41:47.838
I'm going to call them anyway that those, those are the types of things like when we do those things it transfers.

00:41:47.838 --> 00:41:56.235
And so I think you know to your point about the self-management versus time management, like though that's all a part of self-management.

00:41:56.536 --> 00:41:57.557
Um.

00:41:58.619 --> 00:42:09.724
I, I, I, I think the the thing that the other kind of big thing within the workplace that people talk about all the time um is a negative procrastination.

00:42:11.009 --> 00:42:11.289
And.

00:42:12.273 --> 00:42:12.373
I.

00:42:12.373 --> 00:42:13.715
This is really interesting.

00:42:13.715 --> 00:42:14.918
Uh, let's see.

00:42:14.918 --> 00:42:27.748
It says that a survey by CareerBuilder found that 25% of employees admit that they procrastinate on work tasks at least once a week.

00:42:27.748 --> 00:42:34.481
And then it says this can lead to significant delays in project completion and overall productivity loss.

00:42:34.481 --> 00:42:38.027
Delays and project completion and overall productivity loss 25% once a week Cool.

00:42:38.047 --> 00:42:39.108
Those are the ones who admit it.

00:42:39.650 --> 00:42:44.778
There you go, thank you.

00:42:44.778 --> 00:42:55.190
And so I think that one thing I've had to unlearn about procrastination I am a self-diagnosed procrastinator.

00:42:55.190 --> 00:42:57.657
I don't know many people that aren't.

00:42:57.657 --> 00:42:59.822
Quite frankly, I think most of us are procrastinators on some level.

00:42:59.822 --> 00:43:01.775
I love also what you said.

00:43:01.775 --> 00:43:09.469
Going back to what you said about really embracing who you are, I am a procrastinator.

00:43:09.469 --> 00:43:13.664
Part of the reason I'm a procrastinator is because I realize I'm creative.

00:43:13.664 --> 00:43:14.887
I'm a creator.

00:43:14.887 --> 00:43:25.139
Reason I'm a procrastinator is because I realize I'm creative, I'm a creator, and sometimes creativity requires procrastination because you don't always, you can't always predict when something's going to be produced.

00:43:26.262 --> 00:43:28.869
You have to just let it come.

00:43:28.869 --> 00:43:34.099
For those looking on the outside it may be like uh, you got 48 hours.

00:43:34.099 --> 00:43:35.663
Like we got to turn this in at 12 hours.

00:43:35.663 --> 00:43:45.811
I know, like I got it, it's coming, Like it's coming, and so I, I, I've had to realize, um, I've had to.

00:43:45.811 --> 00:43:54.809
One of the things I've had to unlearn about procrastination is that it's not, you're probably not going to eliminate it but, you can't manage it.

00:43:55.255 --> 00:43:59.460
Like you can't manage your procrastination and how it shows up for me.

00:43:59.460 --> 00:44:00.983
First thing, you got to be honest about it.

00:44:00.983 --> 00:44:01.706
Own it.

00:44:01.706 --> 00:44:04.097
I'm a procrastinator, it's just what I do.

00:44:04.097 --> 00:44:05.740
I realize that.

00:44:05.740 --> 00:44:14.717
Um, the next thing I think is important for me to unlearn is honestly like determining whether this is a natural pattern or a lazy pattern, and those are two different things.

00:44:14.717 --> 00:44:18.567
Some ways I procrastinate because it's natural.

00:44:18.567 --> 00:44:20.775
In some ways it's because I'm lazy.

00:44:20.775 --> 00:44:37.204
For me, I am naturally going to procrastinate if it is something I have to produce because of the way that I just create Right.

00:44:37.675 --> 00:44:38.217
And so.

00:44:38.757 --> 00:44:42.887
I know that even if it's last minute, it's still going to be quality Come on here.

00:44:42.887 --> 00:44:45.842
I, because that's just who I am Right.

00:44:45.842 --> 00:44:56.449
But I've also had to learn about myself that if there's a difference between producing something and presenting it, for me.

00:44:58.056 --> 00:44:58.679
Talk about it.

00:44:59.175 --> 00:45:04.099
If I'm procrastinating because I'm presenting it, that's because I'm lazy.

00:45:04.099 --> 00:45:07.284
I just have not properly prepared.

00:45:07.284 --> 00:45:14.262
Something can be produced Like I can type something out, I can have a thought, I can put something down on paper.

00:45:14.262 --> 00:45:19.443
I can have the idea very clear, but then me presenting it is a different story.

00:45:19.443 --> 00:45:21.266
That's not something I don't.

00:45:21.266 --> 00:45:24.039
Naturally I have to prepare to present.

00:45:24.039 --> 00:45:30.456
I can't just just shoot off the cuff and it'd be well, it'd be done.

00:45:30.456 --> 00:45:33.179
Well, I used to think I could do that.

00:45:33.179 --> 00:45:33.860
I really can't.

00:45:33.860 --> 00:45:49.358
It might come across like I'm doing that, but I really I'm not good at that, and usually when I procrastinate on that part, it's not quality, and so I think you have to see like is my procrastination producing quality or not?

00:45:49.577 --> 00:45:53.204
If it's producing quality, it's probably a tactic you're using.

00:45:53.204 --> 00:45:55.086
That's just a part of your natural being.

00:45:55.086 --> 00:46:02.588
If it's not, you're lazy Like and and and I get I'm lazy, like I am being lazy, I've.

00:46:02.588 --> 00:46:05.398
I decided to watch one more episode.

00:46:05.398 --> 00:46:26.346
I decided to sleep for 30 more minutes, I decided that I'm going to you know, I'm just I'm going to be on the phone for another 45 minutes that I I made conscious decisions, knowing that I need to prepare for this and don't lean on your procrastination areas that you don't actually you're not actually naturally good at.

00:46:26.887 --> 00:46:27.188
Yeah.

00:46:27.655 --> 00:46:28.536
You know so for.

00:46:28.536 --> 00:46:35.527
So I think, that procrastination thing, I think sometimes it gets a really bad rap, but we have to.

00:46:35.527 --> 00:46:46.016
If you are finding yourself procrastinating, um, in in in real life, I promise you you're doing it at work, but sometimes it's.

00:46:46.016 --> 00:46:51.987
You might be able to manage it if you start to understand how it's working for you.

00:46:52.108 --> 00:46:53.637
But if it's not, working for you.

00:46:53.677 --> 00:47:00.809
If you're producing subpar stuff, then it's time to change that habit.

00:47:01.215 --> 00:47:11.811
Yeah, I think the only way you can figure out if procrastination is working for you is that you have to examine the reasons why, like how you did, why you procrastinate.

00:47:11.811 --> 00:47:19.277
Procrastinate right, because I think procrastination gets a bad rap.

00:47:19.277 --> 00:47:24.807
Because we are in a society that prioritizes people, like being on a time schedule prioritizes people being organized.

00:47:24.807 --> 00:47:26.436
You know, prioritizes.

00:47:26.436 --> 00:47:35.197
I don't know why, but we continue to create this ideal human that we think everyone should be like.

00:47:35.197 --> 00:47:39.545
You know, like there's just an idealized version of this person.

00:47:39.545 --> 00:47:44.126
You know, like I remember reading articles and they say successful people get up at 5 AM.

00:47:44.126 --> 00:47:52.143
I'm not doing it, okay, like until until the Lord moves me to.

00:47:52.143 --> 00:48:01.681
I'm not doing it Right, because I have learned that, like when I, my best productivity comes in the evening.

00:48:01.681 --> 00:48:16.668
So people who are more creative tend to be tend to be more productive in the evening, right, even.

00:48:16.668 --> 00:48:25.422
I think that, like, you have to identify, identify again, it goes back to that point about loving yourself.

00:48:25.422 --> 00:48:32.259
Identify what your kinks are like, what, how you work right.

00:48:32.259 --> 00:48:38.856
Identify like what, how your running system, your operating system, right, you are.

00:48:38.856 --> 00:48:40.199
You are a different.

00:48:40.199 --> 00:48:43.706
You have a different operating system, a different processor.

00:48:43.706 --> 00:48:48.568
There is a different chip on the inside of you that runs a specific way.

00:48:48.568 --> 00:48:53.880
And sometimes we procrastinate because we don't know ourselves right, like how?

00:48:53.981 --> 00:48:59.389
I told you that, like you that a lot of times my procrastination happens in transitions.

00:48:59.389 --> 00:49:10.963
The more that I'm able to articulate and really state out what my thing is, the better it is, the easier it is for me to work on it.

00:49:10.963 --> 00:49:15.858
If I know transitions are my problem, then I can prepare for the transition.

00:49:15.858 --> 00:49:17.719
I can set limits around it.

00:49:17.719 --> 00:49:22.646
I can say I'm not going to spend any time transitioning, I'm going to go from one thing to the other.

00:49:22.646 --> 00:49:26.351
That's not how I'm programmed, that's not what the chip in me says.

00:49:26.351 --> 00:49:34.572
The chip, the way I'm programmed, the way I'm created, says I need time between tasks in order to be productive.

00:49:34.572 --> 00:49:38.181
Again, right, that's the way I'm programmed, right, but I can put boundaries around that.

00:49:38.181 --> 00:49:42.987
I can say all right, jaquita, give yourself a 15 minute break to just do whatever you want to do.

00:49:42.987 --> 00:49:45.985
Go talk to people, go eat a snack, go whatever.

00:49:45.985 --> 00:49:47.918
But, like you, have to be intentional.

00:49:47.918 --> 00:49:55.920
And the more you know you and if you can figure out the reason why you're procrastinating, you'll be able to better manage it.

00:49:56.574 --> 00:50:04.751
Yeah, so I had a question for you and I lost it.

00:50:04.751 --> 00:50:10.432
Middle adults, it's gone middle adults.

00:50:10.492 --> 00:50:11.806
It'll come back in like 10 minutes.

00:50:11.806 --> 00:50:13.032
Oh, I knew what it was.

00:50:13.032 --> 00:50:15.313
That's middle adult way.

00:50:15.313 --> 00:50:16.659
It's the middle adult way.

00:50:16.659 --> 00:50:21.503
Those thoughts be escaping us, maybe I don't know where it went.

00:50:21.806 --> 00:50:22.615
I don't know where it went.

00:50:22.615 --> 00:50:28.059
It's a good question, but anyway, yeah, I totally, I completely agree.

00:50:28.059 --> 00:50:34.396
I think this understanding yourself thing is such a crucial element, um of that.

00:50:34.396 --> 00:50:37.284
So oh it was, oh no, I got it.

00:50:37.284 --> 00:50:39.248
I want a question see, there it is there it is.

00:50:39.708 --> 00:50:57.800
um, so you were talking about just the time of this idea of knowing yourself, this, being aware of it, and there's kind of a principle I heard a while back that is breaking yourself into high energy, mid energy, low energy.

00:50:57.800 --> 00:51:02.916
Breaking your day into high energy, mid energy and low energy moments.

00:51:02.916 --> 00:51:08.378
Understanding what parts of the day do I have my highest energy, middle energy or lowest energy?

00:51:08.378 --> 00:51:09.748
That's going to change for everyone.

00:51:09.748 --> 00:51:11.875
You said you're like who's creative at 5am?

00:51:11.875 --> 00:51:16.914
I'm not creative at 5am, but I can get creative around 630, right in the morning.

00:51:16.914 --> 00:51:17.856
I don't.

00:51:17.856 --> 00:51:19.688
Five is too early, that's crazy.

00:51:19.688 --> 00:51:22.092
But for like.

00:51:22.634 --> 00:51:24.757
I am yeah, yeah, that's not gonna work for me.

00:51:24.757 --> 00:51:26.606
I need, I need sun, sunlight.

00:51:26.606 --> 00:51:37.746
You know at, for me, my best hours of like create creative mental stuff is between like six and ten.

00:51:37.746 --> 00:51:39.750
I could maybe push it to eleven.

00:51:39.750 --> 00:51:41.793
After that we're.

00:51:41.793 --> 00:51:46.519
We're at a midpoint, like we're okay, from like 11 to 2.

00:51:46.519 --> 00:51:50.331
I start going down about three o'clock.

00:51:50.891 --> 00:52:05.552
Don't ask me to do anything mentally past three and that I can be active, like I'm not just like, I just feel like lying on the couch, like I can be active, but my brain doesn't need to be like.

00:52:05.552 --> 00:52:10.856
I don't need to put myself in a position where my brain is on 10 at four o'clock in the afternoon.

00:52:10.856 --> 00:52:24.972
You're not going to get my best, but that's something I've had to learn about myself over time, and then what I think is, you learn yourself and, by the way, that does not change from professional to personal.

00:52:24.972 --> 00:52:26.134
That is the truth.

00:52:26.134 --> 00:52:33.972
I would prefer to do things in the morning, like I want to have conversations that are um, like.

00:52:33.992 --> 00:52:42.454
When I wake up in the morning, my brain just like starts to go and I'm like, I'm ready to really like, like engage my mind in something.

00:52:42.454 --> 00:52:58.135
So if there's a conversation you know of, of depth that I want to have or needs to be had, or I listened to things that that mentally stimulate me in the morning, like in the afternoon I'm listening to smart lists.

00:52:58.135 --> 00:52:58.777
Why?

00:52:58.777 --> 00:53:02.052
Because I have no desire to have my brain stimulated.

00:53:02.052 --> 00:53:13.891
I want to laugh and listen to dumb things, and so it's almost like it's a betrayal of my being to listen to something that I can learn at 4.30 in the afternoon.

00:53:13.891 --> 00:53:15.268
It just is not.

00:53:15.891 --> 00:53:16.313
I don't want to.

00:53:17.507 --> 00:53:21.092
But again, that's knowing yourself and not feeling guilty because of that.

00:53:21.092 --> 00:53:26.119
I don't have to feel guilty because of that, like, that's who I am, it's how I'm wanted.

00:53:26.139 --> 00:53:28.030
Yeah, and that happens all the time.

00:53:28.512 --> 00:53:51.615
Yeah, and I think that the more you know yourself, especially as a middle adult, like and I'm not saying that like we have fully figured ourselves out, because life be life and you're going to learn some more, it's just how it is right but the more that you commit yourself to continuing to learn and manage you.

00:53:51.615 --> 00:53:53.940
This is what emotional intelligence is.

00:53:53.940 --> 00:53:59.474
It is literally learning your rhythm, your likes, your dislikes.

00:53:59.474 --> 00:54:05.425
You're learning your chip dislikes.

00:54:05.425 --> 00:54:06.327
You're learning your chip.

00:54:06.327 --> 00:54:10.956
You got to see, I got a special microchip that I have installed, that nobody else has, that has programmed me that is unlike anybody else.

00:54:10.956 --> 00:54:17.519
And the more I know and understand me, the easier it is, once you know you, to manage you.

00:54:17.519 --> 00:54:20.146
Then you can start having impact.

00:54:20.146 --> 00:54:38.637
You can start understanding how other people tick and then, when you understand them, you can say, oh, this is what they probably need to help them better manage who they are, rather than projecting who you are on them and saying you need to be more like me.

00:54:38.637 --> 00:54:44.592
And this is how I do it and this is how I operate and I want you to do it like I would do it Right In my.

00:54:44.972 --> 00:54:50.159
In my previous job I told I mentored like college students.

00:54:50.159 --> 00:54:50.740
At that point.

00:54:50.740 --> 00:54:56.085
I told all of them I wanted them to carry a piece of me, right.

00:54:56.085 --> 00:55:06.746
That they would, you know, that they could, you know, go in and really impact you know the campus with because we were over again campus life, right.

00:55:06.746 --> 00:55:13.527
And I told all of them you have a piece of me and I have poured into you and I want you to go and be great, right.

00:55:13.527 --> 00:55:15.932
That was that level of mentorship.

00:55:16.353 --> 00:55:23.153
When I am mentoring these young professionals, I have never told them you're just like me, right.

00:55:23.153 --> 00:55:34.887
I have never encouraged them to be like me, right, because I grew as a mentor and as a coach to say, okay, I need you to know that I see you, right.

00:55:34.887 --> 00:55:44.114
I see who you are, I see what makes you distinct, I see what makes you special, I see what you bring to the table that nobody else on this team does.

00:55:44.114 --> 00:55:46.909
And this is what I want you.

00:55:46.909 --> 00:55:47.731
This is how.

00:55:47.731 --> 00:55:54.052
This is how we're going to build a plan to craft your success as you, right.

00:55:54.472 --> 00:55:59.987
And I had to grow as a person to realize that I don't need to be replicated in the earth.

00:55:59.987 --> 00:56:03.916
Yeah, you know like, I don't need to produce little mini-me's.

00:56:03.916 --> 00:56:05.768
I even have a mentee that I call mini-me.

00:56:05.768 --> 00:56:06.730
She's still my mini-me.

00:56:06.730 --> 00:56:35.387
I'm not taking it back Right, but at that time in my life I needed that, was part of what was in my bowl that needed to be cleaned out, because it was something that was affirming me that, like my students, looked up to me but I didn't have the capacity or the aptitude for that level to be able to say I'm going to help you really like yourself.

00:56:35.648 --> 00:56:37.333
That's really good and really.

00:56:37.333 --> 00:56:45.737
But now, in the space that I am now, I've grown because I've taken some time and I have really learned to love and appreciate me.

00:56:45.737 --> 00:57:04.510
I've worked on my time management, I've gotten to know me, I have built up my own self-awareness right and I've gotten pushed forward and purpose to a point to where I can now help to activate the purpose of other people, activate I.

00:57:04.510 --> 00:57:07.994
You know we just get, we just started, but you know I got there.

00:57:09.295 --> 00:57:12.960
That's good, that's good, so, all right.

00:57:12.960 --> 00:57:16.771
So let's, can we pivot a little bit?

00:57:16.771 --> 00:57:18.695
Sure, let's pivot To.

00:57:18.695 --> 00:57:22.289
I was actually looking at your, your list over here.

00:57:22.289 --> 00:57:26.112
I, this one that you wrote.

00:57:26.112 --> 00:57:27.175
Can I read it?

00:57:27.175 --> 00:57:28.007
And then you unpack it?

00:57:28.007 --> 00:57:29.512
Because it's really good.

00:57:29.512 --> 00:57:30.215
It's a.

00:57:30.215 --> 00:57:30.898
I think it's a good one.

00:57:30.898 --> 00:57:34.288
Uh, unlearning, avoiding decision making, my lord.

00:57:34.288 --> 00:57:38.135
Uh, being indecisive is often a cop-out.

00:57:38.135 --> 00:57:47.597
You gotta tell people what you want and be responsible for the implementations of your ideas, because your go along to get along is going to stifle your purpose.

00:57:47.597 --> 00:57:50.469
That, my friends, is Dr Jaquita Ross, soon to be Dr Jaquita Ross.

00:57:50.469 --> 00:57:51.373
Will you unpack that?

00:57:52.014 --> 00:57:55.947
I don't know about soon to be Dr Jaquita Ross, but y'all stay tuned.

00:57:55.947 --> 00:58:00.231
This PhD is going to come one way or another.

00:58:00.231 --> 00:58:03.934
Okay, one way or another, we're going to get this thing done.

00:58:03.934 --> 00:58:13.742
Listen, I am by nature Well, I'm not going to say by nature, I am by circumstance indecisive, or I used to be right.

00:58:13.802 --> 00:58:14.402
Circumstance.

00:58:15.766 --> 00:58:16.307
What do you mean?

00:58:16.307 --> 00:58:25.706
I would say that some of my indecisiveness was a trauma response, like it was a.

00:58:25.706 --> 00:58:31.275
I don't know that people really care what I want, but I can make other people feel really good by wanting what they want, right.

00:58:31.275 --> 00:58:53.152
And so I would try my best to figure out what other people liked and then craft my likes to match theirs, especially if it was a person that was going to give a strong response when I expressed the preference Right, it is, it is.

00:58:53.152 --> 00:59:00.710
And I'm sure the counselors out there are like slide her my number, just let me.

00:59:00.710 --> 00:59:07.204
The counselors are like she thinks she needs a man, she needs a therapist.

00:59:07.204 --> 00:59:12.766
Listen, I'm working on it, right.

00:59:12.766 --> 00:59:18.012
But I there was, especially in my 20s that was Jaquita of her 20s.

00:59:18.012 --> 00:59:21.255
It was oh, you like watching these shows?

00:59:21.255 --> 00:59:23.759
Yeah, that show's great.

00:59:23.759 --> 00:59:24.311
Oh, where do you want to eat?

00:59:24.311 --> 00:59:24.432
I don.

00:59:24.432 --> 00:59:25.342
Oh, where do you want to eat?

00:59:25.342 --> 00:59:26.527
I don't know when do you want to eat.

00:59:26.628 --> 00:59:29.514
And it wasn't that I couldn't make a decision.

00:59:29.514 --> 00:59:48.409
It's that I was trying to make the environment keeping tension out of my environment and me expressing a want or a desire presented tension, especially if I was around a lot of uncompromising people who have since had to work on some of that.

00:59:48.409 --> 00:59:53.009
But, right, I was like I would express something I wanted and they'd be like we're not doing that.

00:59:53.009 --> 00:59:54.152
And I'd be like, well, why?

00:59:54.152 --> 00:59:56.686
Why do I waste my time expressing myself?

00:59:56.686 --> 00:59:57.246
Right?

00:59:57.246 --> 01:00:02.134
But I had to learn to stand up for what I actually wanted.

01:00:02.134 --> 01:00:07.126
It's not that I didn't have a decision or a desire, right.

01:00:07.126 --> 01:00:16.487
It's that I was suppressing it in order to make my environment more comfortable in multiple areas.

01:00:16.487 --> 01:00:21.793
I did that at work, I did that at home, I did that at church, I did that with my friends.

01:00:21.793 --> 01:00:23.916
I did that everywhere.

01:00:23.916 --> 01:00:26.239
I stifled my ideas.

01:00:26.239 --> 01:00:38.365
If we were presented with a solution, I would just be quiet and wait on somebody else to come up with the solution, even though in my head I'd be thinking, oh well, we could do this, this and that.

01:00:38.365 --> 01:00:40.710
Well, maybe if we did this, that could work.

01:00:40.992 --> 01:00:58.038
Because I was so afraid of being called, of being made to feel stupid, or being made to feel like my ideas weren't good enough, or being made to explain my ideas, when a lot of times, as a person who is very intuitive, I don't always have an explanation.

01:00:58.038 --> 01:01:00.713
Sometimes I just know it's the right thing to do, right.

01:01:00.713 --> 01:01:03.172
Sometimes all I got is the Lord told me.

01:01:03.172 --> 01:01:08.469
All I got is the Holy spirit is leading me this direction.

01:01:08.469 --> 01:01:13.378
Right, but I'm around a lot of rational intellectual.

01:01:13.378 --> 01:01:27.510
You know people and I'm not talking about anybody in particular on this podcast but but they, you know, they require explanation and sometimes, instead of giving it, I just let, I just go along with whatever.

01:01:27.510 --> 01:01:40.105
Whatever everyone else says, yeah, right, but what I've had to learn, especially as a leader, when people are coming to my door literally saying, jaquita, what do I do Right?

01:01:40.326 --> 01:01:44.335
It really put me in a place where I could no longer cop out.

01:01:44.335 --> 01:01:50.235
I could no longer be like, well, what do you want to do, right, what do you think is best?

01:01:50.235 --> 01:01:54.552
And they like, girl, don't, I'm not the one with director in front of my name, right.

01:01:54.552 --> 01:02:03.454
And like, the the the more that I move forward and that God pushed me forward into leadership, it made me really.

01:02:03.996 --> 01:02:10.079
It wasn't that I needed to get to know myself, it was that I needed to be comfortable with who I was.

01:02:10.079 --> 01:02:14.996
I needed to be comfortable speaking out loud the things that I was hearing in my head.

01:02:14.996 --> 01:02:28.894
I needed to be comfortable sharing and I needed to be comfortable taking the responsibility of implementing it and saying, hey, this is what I think we should do and this is how it's going to get done, and I'm going to be responsible for this Right.

01:02:28.894 --> 01:02:30.498
And so I had to.

01:02:30.498 --> 01:02:31.327
And it was.

01:02:31.327 --> 01:02:47.030
It started off as a personal thing because I just couldn't get the courage to tell people like, regardless of what you say about me, regardless of what you think about it, regardless of what you think about it, here is what I think, here is what I believe.

01:02:47.030 --> 01:02:50.407
Now, if it was about the Lord, I ain't never been shy about that, hallelujah.

01:02:50.407 --> 01:03:00.289
But when it was about me and what I wanted, what my desires were, what I thought was important, I shied away from that and that showed up in my work.

01:03:00.289 --> 01:03:08.760
Um, I don't understand the nervous laugh that's deep.

01:03:09.000 --> 01:03:09.880
No, that's deep.

01:03:09.880 --> 01:03:18.065
That's deep because there's just you said a lot and I like that's, that's a um indecisiveness.

01:03:18.065 --> 01:03:23.559
You know, I think you, you, you had to learn how.

01:03:23.559 --> 01:03:31.914
You have to learn how to trust you as well, and and, and I think the other thing, and this is just accepting.

01:03:31.914 --> 01:03:46.918
I think also this goes back to what you said earlier about accepting the gifts and others, when you can see the gifts in yourself, when you you have to let others gifts rub against yours to create the best results.

01:03:47.420 --> 01:03:47.619
Yeah.

01:03:48.324 --> 01:03:49.771
And sometimes it's going to be a rub.

01:03:51.686 --> 01:03:52.909
And it can be like an attack.

01:03:53.692 --> 01:04:04.297
Right, and it's not an attack, it's just a healthy tension to say, all right, I hear that and this is what I'm going to add to that.

01:04:04.297 --> 01:04:20.559
And if we're not careful when people add things to what we say, we see that as them invalidating it, but that's only because we haven't fully embraced what we bring to the table and say it's not complete.

01:04:20.559 --> 01:04:22.489
What I'm bringing isn't complete.

01:04:22.489 --> 01:04:24.846
I'm bringing something for somebody to add to.

01:04:24.846 --> 01:04:47.293
But because we have a desire, I think, in our lives to be the full package we have, we either don't put ourselves out there because we don't want to be, we want our full package to be accepted, and if you can't accept my full package, I'm just going to hold everything and it doesn't.

01:04:47.293 --> 01:04:48.135
It doesn't help.

01:04:48.135 --> 01:04:49.706
We're not meant to be the full package.

01:04:49.706 --> 01:04:51.831
You aren't meant to be all things to all people.

01:04:52.313 --> 01:05:11.990
Put the best of you out there and somebody else you give permission to put the best of them out there and it creates something amazing that both of us contributed to Right, but that takes trust in who you are, like you said, not just knowing yourself, and I would say, even beyond being comfortable, but trusting it that putting out there is valuable.

01:05:11.990 --> 01:05:14.577
It may not be complete, but it's valuable.

01:05:15.565 --> 01:05:29.711
Yes, and I will say just as kind of like, in addition to what you just said, that like, yes, it does like you do have to put it out there so that other people can make it better.

01:05:29.711 --> 01:05:58.458
But I think that's something that I had to learn was that, even because sometimes those other people making it better was not better, like sometimes other people, especially in the twenties, their brokenness you are experiencing a lot Everybody's growing at the same time, right, and their brokenness sometimes the way it rubs up on your brokenness is not productive, right, but you have to.

01:05:58.458 --> 01:06:01.148
You have to focus on yourself.

01:06:01.148 --> 01:06:11.920
It's really key that you understand that you're avoiding making decisions is also going to end up pushing you to avoid growing in purpose.

01:06:11.920 --> 01:06:25.007
You have to start implementing the things that you want to see in order so that God can work out of you what needs to be worked out, can work out of you what needs to be worked out.

01:06:25.007 --> 01:06:29.777
A lot of times it gets worked out when we take the things that are in here and put them out here in front of us and start actually walking through it.

01:06:30.184 --> 01:06:40.255
You know, one thing that I am actually currently going through is that, like, uh, when I'm looking at my life and I think you and I have had conversations about this route is that like?

01:06:40.255 --> 01:07:01.976
I'm looking at some of the things I'm doing and I'm like I am doing this because somebody else told me to like, and I am, and I have been doing it for a while, and it's not that I don't enjoy it and it's not that I don't feel a sense of purpose in it, but I am also very much like is there something else that I'm supposed to be doing?

01:07:01.976 --> 01:07:02.958
Right?

01:07:02.958 --> 01:07:13.119
And because I avoided decision-making in my twenties, I'm now in my thirties trying to figure out okay, what, what's my next step?

01:07:13.119 --> 01:07:13.746
Right?

01:07:13.746 --> 01:07:32.927
And I remember talking to women who were in their thirties and it was like man, I really wanted to be a lawyer, I really wanted to go forward and do this and do that, but I got caught up in life and I started helping other people with their choices and their decisions and I missed mine.

01:07:33.288 --> 01:07:33.708
Yeah.

01:07:34.168 --> 01:07:36.853
And I think that it is easy to get to that place.

01:07:36.853 --> 01:07:53.775
Recently in my class, I have them do this activity where they put together a puzzle and I think I've talked about it on the podcast before and there's two puzzles in one bag, and then they start putting it together, right, and I start telling them you have two pictures before you.

01:07:53.775 --> 01:08:11.157
You have the one that you can build for yourself and you have the picture that somebody else has drawn for you, right, that has gotten snuck in your bag and they're trying to present a different image of who you should be, but it is not the image of who God is leading you to be.

01:08:11.157 --> 01:08:18.747
And I told them if you don't tell your story, if you don't begin to write your story, someone else will write it for you.

01:08:18.747 --> 01:08:34.506
And we all, I think, as middle adults, I think we get to a point in our life where we realize there are parts of my story that I didn't necessarily want written that way and it is and it is.

01:08:34.506 --> 01:08:47.448
And here's if I can give any advice of how I'm maneuvering that space is there is no one else you can go to about what the image of your life is supposed to look like, other than the creator.

01:08:47.448 --> 01:08:49.712
He is the one.

01:08:50.554 --> 01:08:54.827
God is the one who has the picture that goes on the puzzle box.

01:08:54.827 --> 01:09:03.891
You got sent into the world and you have been spending your twenties finding your pieces, like, oh, I'm good at that.

01:09:03.891 --> 01:09:04.895
Oh, I like that.

01:09:04.895 --> 01:09:07.014
Oh, I think I'm going to choose this as a career path.

01:09:07.014 --> 01:09:08.601
Oh, I like this as a major.

01:09:08.601 --> 01:09:10.809
Oh, I'm going to get this degree and this certification.

01:09:11.289 --> 01:09:13.976
You are spending your 20s picking up your pieces.

01:09:13.976 --> 01:09:24.576
You spend your 30s starting to assemble the pieces, but you still don't know what the whole picture looks like, because you haven't been introduced to all of you yet.

01:09:24.576 --> 01:09:27.654
The creator has the picture.

01:09:27.654 --> 01:09:34.078
The creator has the box, has the image of what your life is for.

01:09:34.078 --> 01:09:41.056
I know the plans that I have for you, plans of good and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

01:09:41.056 --> 01:09:54.791
God knows the expected end of the picture of your life, but you have to be intentional about saying God how do these pieces go together and allow him to maneuver you through life in a way?

01:09:54.791 --> 01:10:03.128
That's building the picture he intended and not always allowing those outside voices to dictate what your life should look like.

01:10:04.490 --> 01:10:15.301
By the way, those pieces are not separated into work and family and friendships and relationships.

01:10:15.301 --> 01:10:16.789
It's not separate.

01:10:16.829 --> 01:10:23.493
It's one picture, listen, it's one picture when you look at a puzzle piece.

01:10:23.493 --> 01:10:26.872
Right, Puzzle pieces are not square with sharp edges.

01:10:26.872 --> 01:10:30.953
Right, All of your puzzle pieces have been shaped.

01:10:30.953 --> 01:10:33.833
They've been shaped by your experiences.

01:10:33.833 --> 01:10:35.912
They've been shaped by your work life.

01:10:35.912 --> 01:10:37.752
They've been shaped by your personal life.

01:10:37.752 --> 01:10:44.554
They've been shaped by your spiritual life right, but they all come together to make a whole picture.

01:10:44.554 --> 01:10:55.314
So don't see it as I got to put my professional life here and my personal life goes in this piece, and I got to connect my faith life with my personal life and connect it right up here with my.

01:10:55.314 --> 01:11:08.875
No, all of me has been shaped by the things that I'm walking through and experiencing right, and God is helping to connect the things that I understand about myself to build a picture.

01:11:08.875 --> 01:11:10.738
But it's all been shaped.

01:11:10.738 --> 01:11:12.368
I don't have separate lives.

01:11:12.368 --> 01:11:21.211
I have one person that's been shaped by different areas of experiences that God is allowing me to go through.

01:11:21.211 --> 01:11:23.796
That is helping to build the image of who I am.

01:11:23.796 --> 01:11:24.765
That God is allowing me to go through.

01:11:24.786 --> 01:11:25.927
That is helping to build the image of who I am.

01:11:25.927 --> 01:11:31.077
You know what Another area that we're shaped by is what's that?

01:11:32.899 --> 01:11:36.591
The money, Money, money, money money.

01:11:38.095 --> 01:11:39.217
Money.

01:11:39.217 --> 01:11:50.198
So I love what you're saying about this, because I think that our financial, I love when people talk about financial life and finances.

01:11:50.198 --> 01:11:57.774
Um, it is important to realize that that is a through line of all these different areas, right?

01:11:57.774 --> 01:12:08.746
So, like you're, you're, you're, when you, when you talk about money, you have to talk about life, it's, it's, it's you talk about money, you're actually talking about your life, you're not talking about currency.

01:12:09.488 --> 01:12:32.966
And so the the way you think about money is shaped by those, by those things as well, and the kind of the last point that I really want to lean into, um, last point that I really want to lean into because I think it's one of the points that has driven my unlearning process, and it's not just about money and I, you know, I talk about it a lot to people.

01:12:32.966 --> 01:12:35.337
I always want to get across like I'm not.

01:12:35.337 --> 01:12:39.029
It's not about money, it truly is about your future, it's about your life.

01:12:39.029 --> 01:12:46.466
Right Is that we have to unlearn, that our personal finances don't impact your professional decisions.

01:12:46.466 --> 01:12:52.697
A lot of people are stuck, exactly, okay, what you said.

01:12:52.697 --> 01:12:59.380
As far as you know, I, there's a picture of my life that I, you know, I'm not.

01:12:59.380 --> 01:13:20.064
There are parts of my story that I didn't choose to write or that I'm accepting that somebody else has written for me, and a lot of people get stuck in that space a lot of times because they don't, because their financial life requires them to stay there, because you've made financial.

01:13:20.447 --> 01:13:21.130
Wait a minute.

01:13:21.130 --> 01:13:23.853
I felt kicked in the chest.

01:13:23.853 --> 01:13:29.411
Oh, my Lord.

01:13:29.585 --> 01:13:30.594
You need to catch your breath a little bit.

01:13:30.594 --> 01:13:31.037
You all right.

01:13:31.444 --> 01:13:33.507
Yeah, yeah, yeah, continue.

01:13:33.528 --> 01:13:36.930
Go ahead.

01:13:36.930 --> 01:13:46.101
I don't want to say this because we have made.

01:13:46.101 --> 01:14:07.189
We have made deals, we've made packs, we've made commitments to things other than our story, and the currency we've used is money and the.

01:14:07.189 --> 01:14:33.818
What I mean by that is, uh, you know, we've signed, we've signed mortgages, contracts my lord used credit cards, we've gotten to, we've, we've, we've bought cars, we've done all these things, and when I I say we, I mean Americans this is an American thing that have put us in partnership with people who are writing our story other than us.

01:14:34.699 --> 01:14:35.340
My Lord.

01:14:36.865 --> 01:14:46.412
So when you're in partnership with people that you owe, you don't get to write your story period, so it matters.

01:14:46.412 --> 01:15:02.671
So now I have, I have these obligations I have to meet and even though I might want to go in this direction with my career, I don't have that opportunity to because I've signed contracts with people that say no, you got to stay where you are, you got to stay right where you are.

01:15:02.671 --> 01:15:05.686
You'll have to be there for a while, cause you got to do this before you can move on.

01:15:05.686 --> 01:15:10.313
That's not your creator story, that's their story for you.

01:15:10.654 --> 01:15:11.494
My Lord.

01:15:12.655 --> 01:15:21.238
We've got to learn that our personal financial decisions are a lot for a lot of us are keeping us stuck in other people's stories.

01:15:22.265 --> 01:15:24.311
Ooh wait a minute, ruth Girl.

01:15:24.311 --> 01:15:26.136
This went deeper than I thought it would.

01:15:26.136 --> 01:15:27.266
Come.

01:15:27.266 --> 01:15:28.452
On, ruth Abigail.

01:15:28.452 --> 01:15:31.688
Okay, all right, I don't know why I doubted you.

01:15:31.688 --> 01:15:32.251
Go ahead.

01:15:34.462 --> 01:15:35.868
Anyway, I just so.

01:15:35.868 --> 01:15:48.645
I I think that a while back, I made a personal decision and I've shared my financial story and the reason I'm so passionate about personal finances.

01:15:48.645 --> 01:16:21.171
Um, before other podcasts to have a certain amount of, to not have to have salary increases in order to live my life major salary increases right, I want to be grateful for a salary increase.

01:16:21.171 --> 01:16:22.275
I don't want to have to have it.

01:16:22.275 --> 01:16:26.670
Um, that's just how I want to live.

01:16:26.670 --> 01:16:27.451
You know what I'm saying?

01:16:27.451 --> 01:16:29.014
That's just how I want to live.

01:16:29.014 --> 01:16:30.636
Right, that's me.

01:16:30.636 --> 01:16:31.677
That may not be.

01:16:31.677 --> 01:16:32.599
That may not be anybody else.

01:16:32.618 --> 01:16:33.279
No, no, no, no, no.

01:16:33.279 --> 01:16:34.069
We celebrate you.

01:16:34.069 --> 01:16:37.807
Why are?

01:16:38.168 --> 01:16:38.912
you looking like that.

01:16:39.814 --> 01:16:41.390
Oh no, no, I was thinking about my own life.

01:16:41.390 --> 01:16:45.149
I need a salary increase.

01:16:45.931 --> 01:16:47.895
Understood Right, get that.

01:16:47.895 --> 01:16:49.337
And I have been there too.

01:16:49.337 --> 01:17:00.319
And because I've been there, I said I don't want to be here, I don't want to have to expect somebody else to give me more in order to have the life I want.

01:17:00.319 --> 01:17:02.671
I want to be able to do it.

01:17:02.671 --> 01:17:19.519
I want to be able to be free to make pivots and choices and decisions, not based on a need and a need that is that is actually again, uh based on contracts I've signed with other people writing my story.

01:17:19.519 --> 01:17:25.412
I'm gonna write it, and so I.

01:17:25.412 --> 01:17:30.340
I never, I never wanted, I never wanted that to ever dictate my work.

01:17:30.340 --> 01:17:32.451
Right, I want to choose the work I do.

01:17:32.451 --> 01:17:33.373
I love the work I do.

01:17:34.104 --> 01:17:43.393
And the industry I'm in ain't going to pay me the amount of money that I need to live the life that I desire to live.

01:17:43.393 --> 01:17:45.471
It's just not going to happen right.

01:17:45.471 --> 01:17:59.731
So I have to be very aware of how to manage my finances in a way and get rid of these contracts with other people that I owe, so that I don't have to keep giving my money away in service to a life that I'm not writing.

01:17:59.731 --> 01:18:00.935
That doesn't work.

01:18:01.976 --> 01:18:10.538
I'm keeping it and I'm going to control it and that and I, so you know, uh, there's a, and that's that is counterintuitive to our American culture.

01:18:10.538 --> 01:18:11.666
Um, I think it's.

01:18:11.666 --> 01:18:15.895
77% of people are in some sort of debt here in America.

01:18:15.895 --> 01:18:24.252
Um, we have relationships with credit and debt like unlike any other country in the world.

01:18:24.252 --> 01:18:28.194
Um, we, so it is.

01:18:28.194 --> 01:18:34.372
It is so it is countercultural to decide to write your own narrative financially.

01:18:34.372 --> 01:18:36.773
That's not regular.

01:18:37.164 --> 01:18:39.032
Dave Ramsey y'all have heard me talk about him before.

01:18:39.032 --> 01:18:39.673
That's my guy.

01:18:39.673 --> 01:18:44.713
He is not the only guy out there, but he is the guy I probably listen to and follow the most.

01:18:44.713 --> 01:18:46.050
He's helped me the most.

01:18:46.050 --> 01:18:53.854
He says this when you live like no one else, later you can live and give like no one else.

01:18:53.854 --> 01:19:02.088
And I've always thought of I keep that in the back of my mind often because in my I had to unlearn.

01:19:02.088 --> 01:19:13.559
In my 20s I had to unlearn that I was supposed to wait to get my finances together until I was making enough money.

01:19:13.559 --> 01:19:20.315
Do it now, so that you'll never have to make enough money.

01:19:20.315 --> 01:19:23.210
Yeah Right, I'm putting quotes under that.

01:19:23.385 --> 01:19:25.332
I'm not saying work for pennies.

01:19:25.332 --> 01:19:28.525
You need to be paid what you're worth and what the job is worth.

01:19:28.525 --> 01:19:29.847
That's just just.

01:19:29.847 --> 01:19:44.078
But if you want to do a job that just isn't going to get you the dollars that maybe other jobs and other people that you know are going to have, then you have to.

01:19:44.078 --> 01:19:46.390
You got to take care of your own lifestyle.

01:19:46.390 --> 01:19:47.735
Your own decisions manage the resources you have to.

01:19:47.735 --> 01:19:48.819
You got to take care of your own lifestyle.

01:19:48.819 --> 01:19:53.630
Your own decisions, manage the resources you have well enough to say I can take that.

01:19:53.630 --> 01:19:54.692
I don't, I can.

01:19:54.692 --> 01:20:08.756
I can afford to be making 10 15 000 less than maybe I could make in other places, because I want to, because I want to do this work right yeah so I'm just really, I really want us to get that.

01:20:09.096 --> 01:20:24.895
I I talked to a lot of young people, um, and sometimes it's like it's, I think it's a mixture of doubt and lack of desire to change.

01:20:24.895 --> 01:20:48.471
Um, that is kind of keeping a lot of younger adults and younger professionals stuck in a situation where I can't take the, I can't stay at a job, I can't take the job that I, that I really want, or I it's real, it's real cute to say, you know, oh, I'm good, I'm, I'm a minimalist and all this stuff, and maybe you are.

01:20:48.471 --> 01:20:50.600
That's real cute to say you know, oh, I'm good, I'm a minimalist and all this stuff, and maybe you are.

01:20:50.621 --> 01:20:50.942
That's real cute.

01:20:50.942 --> 01:20:51.524
I ain't never said that.

01:20:51.805 --> 01:20:57.278
But you're going to get to a point, to where minimalist is going to mean something different than it did when you were 21.

01:20:57.278 --> 01:21:04.595
31-year-old minimalist is going to be a little different and you might require a little bit more than the minimum you had 10 years ago.

01:21:04.614 --> 01:21:16.470
Let me tell you something that one couch, that one chair you got in your apartment ain't going to be cute, no more when you hit the 30s, why you only got one lamp.

01:21:16.470 --> 01:21:17.810
Hey, all I need is one lamp.

01:21:17.810 --> 01:21:21.891
I cut it on, you know, when I walk in and then I carry it around.

01:21:21.891 --> 01:21:23.751
You know like it's not.

01:21:24.212 --> 01:21:34.069
That's great, that's cute for a season, but if you, if you ever get to a point where you have to do that, that's very different than what you choose to.

01:21:34.069 --> 01:21:46.306
You want to be choosing your life right, and one of the most effective ways to do that is to manage the resources you have, no matter how much you have.

01:21:46.306 --> 01:21:49.835
If you make it 25 K, manage that 25K.

01:21:49.835 --> 01:21:53.770
Make sure most of it is going to your pocket and not somebody else's right.

01:21:53.770 --> 01:21:57.497
And if you have 100K, manage the 100K.

01:21:57.497 --> 01:22:02.114
Make sure most of it is not going to somebody else's pocket but it's staying in yours.

01:22:02.114 --> 01:22:07.672
And so that takes understanding a lot about yourself.

01:22:07.672 --> 01:22:11.298
It takes building small habits over time.

01:22:15.805 --> 01:22:20.782
It might take getting out of holes that you need to get out of, and need to get out of quickly, so that you can start living that kind of lifestyle that you want, that lifestyle of freedom.

01:22:20.782 --> 01:22:44.435
It's just, it's so integrated into how we are and, like I said even more in this, in the context of this conversation, give you the space and freedom to decide how I use most of my day, cause most of us are at work most of the day and if your pocketbook is dictating that you're not in a good space, you're not in a good space.

01:22:44.435 --> 01:22:45.677
You're not in a good space.

01:22:45.677 --> 01:22:46.568
Anyway, what?

01:22:46.587 --> 01:22:47.150
are your thoughts on that.

01:22:47.150 --> 01:22:47.966
You're not in a good space.

01:22:47.966 --> 01:22:49.028
You're not in a good space anyway.

01:22:49.048 --> 01:22:49.989
What are your thoughts on that?

01:22:49.989 --> 01:22:57.243
I mean, I won't pretend to be the, the, the financial guru of the pair here.

01:22:57.243 --> 01:22:58.967
All right, no, no, no, no.

01:22:58.967 --> 01:22:59.489
I know that.

01:22:59.510 --> 01:23:53.529
I know that I'm getting there root, give me a moment sorry, I'm sorry, give me a moment, um, but I do know that, like you know where I am currently in my life, like I'm trying to, you know, really orient myself in the next level of purpose that I feel God calling me to, and I have money requirements around that, like I'm, like I need to be making at least this for the next level of my life to come forward, right, but I also I'm as I'm hearing you, I'm like you know I am you have to be careful to not make a decision that looks good on the front end because it may offer more resources, but on the back end, you don't know what you're going to lose by taking that.

01:23:53.871 --> 01:24:11.710
And so, when we allow ourselves to be governed by what looks like increase and not by what is the picture of my life that God is trying to build, what is the picture of my life that God is trying to build, right?

01:24:11.729 --> 01:24:15.677
Yes, a part of that is going to be financial wellness, but is that what he's asking me to focus on?

01:24:15.698 --> 01:24:48.493
And really making the decisions that are really going to push you forward in purpose, right, I'm realizing, you know, like, even as we're like talking about some of the decisions that we've made in our careers, ways that we've had to grow personally in order to grow professionally, like I'm realizing, looking back through all of that, that what I desire the most out of my next move is the ability to say and this is who I became and not this is what I got.

01:24:49.354 --> 01:25:08.519
And so when you are thinking about making a move or trying to work toward promotion, you have to think less about ooh, what am I going to get from it, and more about who will I become as a result of stepping into this new space.

01:25:08.519 --> 01:25:16.873
And I think becoming a better manager of your finances should be included in that right.

01:25:16.873 --> 01:25:22.271
I'm assuming that anything I take next will include more in some capacity.

01:25:22.271 --> 01:25:26.467
But if I focus on the more I'm going to lose it, I'm going to spend it.

01:25:26.467 --> 01:25:36.856
But if I focus on the I want to become a better steward, then I'll gain something, regardless of how much the increase is.

01:25:37.658 --> 01:25:47.657
And so in this as we're kind of thinking through kind of pros and cons and loss and gains of what you want your next move to be.

01:25:47.657 --> 01:26:01.679
I always tell people, you know we are human beings, not human doings, and so continue to think more about who you are, who you are becoming, and less about what it is you hope to do with whatever you get.

01:26:03.966 --> 01:26:05.448
That's good man.

01:26:05.448 --> 01:26:08.998
Okay, what else, sweet you got?

01:26:09.038 --> 01:26:09.701
are we still going?

01:26:09.701 --> 01:26:09.740
I?

01:26:10.242 --> 01:26:12.770
don't know, man, it's totally up to you, my friend, I'm done.

01:26:12.770 --> 01:26:13.733
I don't have anything else.

01:26:13.733 --> 01:26:14.978
I'm I.

01:26:14.978 --> 01:26:16.020
Uh, that is.

01:26:16.060 --> 01:26:20.070
That is all I got for today um, I think we're at a good spot right here.

01:26:20.070 --> 01:26:22.335
I think we're at a good spot.

01:26:22.335 --> 01:26:34.100
Um, I think that we you know, I think a lot of what we talked about honestly ended up like moving towards, how do I push myself towards promotion?

01:26:34.100 --> 01:26:47.944
Yeah, right, and like working on kind of like what, what are the personal things in my life that are impacting my professional life Right that could possibly prevent me from being promoted?

01:26:47.944 --> 01:26:49.667
Life right that could possibly prevent me from being promoted?

01:26:49.688 --> 01:27:17.815
And I will tell you, as I work with young adults, or these young leaders as we like to refer to y'all, as I'm working with them, the ones that I recognize the most leadership in are the ones who are able to self-reflect and who can articulate to me what they have to work on to be better and actively putting in the work to push forward.

01:27:17.815 --> 01:27:30.657
And when I see that, I'm like, oh, you got the juice, it is not the person who's giving me the best product or the best result, it's not the person who is like, oh, look at how many good things I've done.

01:27:30.657 --> 01:27:33.996
And look at, it is the person who can say you know what?

01:27:33.996 --> 01:27:51.948
I realize that I really need to work on this and I'm putting time and effort into making sure I become better in this, in this area, because I don't want to go to my next level with this and immediately I'm like they got the juice.

01:27:51.948 --> 01:28:01.157
They got the juice because they're going to be ready for promotion, because they're not going to go into it thinking that they got it all figured out.

01:28:01.157 --> 01:28:06.274
They are going to be ready to actually put in the work, the work it takes to be a leader.

01:28:06.395 --> 01:28:23.016
Again, it's not about skillset, it's about aptitude your aptitude for self-reflection and your aptitudes for um, for, for, for growth and development right, your aptitudes to continue to expand.

01:28:23.016 --> 01:28:23.979
That's what.

01:28:23.979 --> 01:28:25.529
That's what continues promotion.

01:28:25.529 --> 01:28:27.694
That's how you continue moving forward.

01:28:27.694 --> 01:28:35.054
So I definitely think we should put that in the title somewhere yeah, I agree, I think you're right.

01:28:35.094 --> 01:28:36.117
I think you hit the nail on the head.

01:28:36.117 --> 01:28:41.074
I think that's what we've been moving towards and we hope that you have done.

01:28:41.074 --> 01:28:55.434
We've helped you to start doing some unlearning around this particular topic and we would love to hear from you, as always, and we would love for you to share this with the people that you share.

01:28:55.434 --> 01:28:58.710
Yeah, like, share, comment, subscribe.

01:28:58.710 --> 01:28:59.533
That's what we're going to do.

01:28:59.533 --> 01:29:01.148
Don't keep it to yourself.

01:29:01.148 --> 01:29:04.195
Let people you know, let people in on this.

01:29:04.195 --> 01:29:15.655
We want to build the community of the unlearners and really help each other to promote Right, I mean to grow in promotion, and that's both personally and professionally.

01:29:15.655 --> 01:29:23.590
It's we want to grow, we want to move forward, and it takes commitment and courage to do that.

01:29:23.590 --> 01:29:26.054
So hopefully, this podcast has given you a little bit of both.

01:29:26.054 --> 01:29:37.164
All right, folks, until next week, let us keep unlearning together so that we can keep experiencing more freedom.

01:29:44.323 --> 01:29:44.645
Bye, y'all.

01:29:44.645 --> 01:29:48.167
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:29:48.167 --> 01:29:50.231
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:29:50.231 --> 01:29:55.886
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:29:55.886 --> 01:30:02.230
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:30:02.230 --> 01:30:03.154
See you then.