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Feb. 4, 2025

Talks With Middle Adults: Your Value Is Limitless...Even If Your Money Isn't!

Talks With Middle Adults: Your Value Is Limitless...Even If Your Money Isn't!
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RA and Jaquetta explore the intricate relationship we have with money and the importance of redefining value over wealth. They share personal anecdotes that reveal common misunderstandings about finances, emphasizing that true fulfillment stems from recognizing one’s intrinsic worth rather than merely chasing higher paychecks. 

• Discussing how money was perceived in childhood
• The visibility and deception of wealth
• Navigating the conversation around debt and its implications
• Understanding the concept of value beyond money
• Building relationships that foster mutual support
• Emphasizing the importance of identifying personal worth
• Making conscious choices that align with values for financial growth

Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.

Chapters

00:05 - Unlearning Finances at the Kitchen Table

06:42 - Navigating Debt and Financial Upbringing

14:27 - Defining Value for Financial Success

23:34 - The Value of Freedom Over Money

28:52 - Navigating Expectations and Money Pressures

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:05.267 --> 00:00:10.394
hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.

00:00:10.394 --> 00:00:13.223
I'm your host, ruth abigail aka ra.

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What up?

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Friends, it's your girl, jaquita and this is the podcast that's helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that we can all experience more freedom.

00:00:23.507 --> 00:00:27.153
Hey friends, folks, people, saints and friends.

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All right, we need you to like, share and subscribe.

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All right, become part of the community.

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Right, we're out here unlearning, we're out here burying our souls.

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That's it, for the sake of your growth and development.

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Okay, please, if you could, but please, all right, just hit that like button share it with a friend.

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If it helped you.

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All right, you know, be a good friend, let it help somebody else, y'all.

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And also hit that notification bell If you're like man.

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Every time I miss it, every single time.

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Hit the bell so that it will alert you when new episodes drop.

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We do drop them every Tuesdayuesday, all right, like clockwork, all right, unless it's a holiday, you know yeah, some holidays yeah you know listen or unless one of us.

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One of us might be sick, you know, or, yeah, may have lost our voice because we scream too much would make me record if I was sick.

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She'd be like hey, can you just get on?

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Maybe we just do a video.

00:01:23.052 --> 00:01:24.236
You know well, maybe we could just do it.

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Maybe you just get on.

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Maybe we just do a video.

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You know well, maybe we could just do it.

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Maybe, you know, we do 30 minutes instead of a night, you know like.

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But nah, for real, yo like share and subscribe y'all like, share and subscribe guys.

00:01:34.376 --> 00:01:50.891
um, so all right, so we're, we're, uh, we're in the series the kitchen table, uh, unlearning things from, from the kitchen table, and so far we've talked about unlearning, like, how to defeat your giant of normal, like what you grew up in it's what is normal.

00:01:50.891 --> 00:01:51.492
It was a good one.

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That was a good one.

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Guys Like, if you haven't checked this out, go back and check that out.

00:01:54.868 --> 00:01:56.311
Quinta, what was our last one?

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We talked about emotional vulnerability, unlearning, emotion unlearning like kind of suppressing your emotions.

00:02:06.088 --> 00:02:22.088
Yeah, and kind of like unlearning some of the maybe the habits of dealing with emotions that you you may have experienced in your younger years around your either your family, your community and what that what it looks like to do that now.

00:02:22.088 --> 00:02:23.405
That was a good one too.

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That was a lot that was a real good one.

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We was a lot.

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That was a real good one.

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We was unpacking the stuff in these streets.

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We really do be bearing souls.

00:02:32.248 --> 00:02:35.062
Yeah, we're about to do it again.

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We're about to do it one more time for y'all.

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So listen.

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Don't let my vulnerability and transparency go to waste.

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What you said.

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Don't do that.

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Y' go to waste what you say Y'all, make sure, like if this is helping you in any way.

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Please encourage my soul and leave a comment and be like thank you, ruth and Jaquita.

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Because of the sacrifice you made, you know, I changed my life.

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That's right.

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We need to hear that.

00:03:02.819 --> 00:03:03.962
We want to hear it.

00:03:03.962 --> 00:03:07.550
I'm going to be like listen, I'm going to start pulling some cookie cutter lessons off of Google.

00:03:07.550 --> 00:03:12.128
Okay, how to teach people about emotional vulnerability.

00:03:12.270 --> 00:03:14.584
Okay, yeah, use somebody else's story.

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We love what we do, we love it, we do Um and we have a good time doing it.

00:03:18.421 --> 00:03:22.947
We are about to dive into another um very relevant topic.

00:03:22.947 --> 00:03:34.888
You know can be touchy, for sure, um, and yeah, so I, I actually man, I had like a um, had a lead in and I forgot it.

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You know, I'm saying like I was gonna do a whole thing and now I don't forgot what it is okay, listen y'all, we're talking about them.

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Dollar, dollar bills today.

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Okay, we're talking about that corn.

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I had a cup, okay, that guap, all right.

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Wow, that cheddar.

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Okay, y'all remember that when that Beyonce the Destiny's Child song came out and everybody was like, ladies, leave your man at home.

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The club is full of ballers and they fucking full of.

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What was that word?

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What was that?

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word.

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What?

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What was that word we're talking about?

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It doesn't matter.

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Pockets full grown.

00:04:08.746 --> 00:04:09.707
That's what it was pockets full grown.

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We were, we were lost.

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We were lost on that verse.

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No, no, nobody around me knew that the verse.

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You know, back then, how many of y'all thought you knew the words to a song?

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And then, as you got older, what did you think they?

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They were Realized that that wasn't it.

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We all thought it was pockets full of groom and we was like we don't know what groom is but okay, I can't, that's hilarious.

00:04:32.305 --> 00:04:33.747
Jamming wrong words you know why?

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You know why Because I'm from Houston.

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That's why and that's where they from, and that's why I know.

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Okay, we're talking about money.

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We're talking about what we learned around the kitchen table about finances, and then what we then had to unlearn.

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Yep, what we, what we, what we then had to say that wasn't quite right.

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Let me get, let me reverse, back it up, put it in neutral, you know, and figure this thing out.

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Yeah, yeah.

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We're talking about unlearning, uh, from around that financial kitchen table.

00:05:04.290 --> 00:05:06.346
Yeah, man, and it's something we have to.

00:05:06.346 --> 00:05:09.166
Yes, it's something we have to.

00:05:09.166 --> 00:05:29.576
We really, really have to spend some time doing Money is one of those weird things that, like it's at least I know, growing up for me, it was one of those things that in our family we didn't talk about like that, like we didn't talk about money, like we didn't talk about money, like like not, we didn't talk about, but we didn't talk about how much money.

00:05:29.576 --> 00:05:31.045
We didn't talk about amounts of money.

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We talked about money as a topic, but we didn't get into the details.

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You know what I'm saying, and and and I was kind of taught like, hey, you don't, we don't, we don't discuss, you don't ask people how much they make.

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You don't, we're not discussing how much we make?

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None of that stuff.

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Um, you know and all so, like it was just so, there was a part of this idea that money, the idea of um, your, the your money business was to be, uh, undisclosed, but at the same time, um, it was important, it's important so it's on one hand, I'm not supposed to really talk about it, get into the details.

00:06:11.165 --> 00:06:17.591
On the other hand, it's supposed to be very important, something I really need to understand and so how did that happen in your house?

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I don't know.

00:06:18.341 --> 00:06:24.607
I think the thing about money is is that, even when you don't talk about it, is that, even when you don't talk about it, the money has images?

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Right, it's the house we lived in.

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It's the car we drove.

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Right, it's the clothes we wore.

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You know, I remember in high school, like realizing that I was not going to get a pair of Air Force Ones, you know, and it was give me two, like everybody had.

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Air Force Ones.

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You know what I'm saying, and I just knew not to even ask.

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Like, I knew that, like that wasn't going to be within the realm of possibility for my life, right, and I, and to me it was always like, even though you know we never specifically talked about money, I knew that my mom worked so hard because it wasn't a whole lot of money going around.

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You know, right, I knew that, like I looked at the difference between, like, single parent homes and two parent homes, and for me there was always this invisible balance that was letting me know okay, there's money over here, not as much over there.

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They might have a little money, he might have a little money, but it ain't money, ain't much money right here.

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And so I think money is both invisible but also very, very visible.

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I really think that's a great point.

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I think that you might think you make a great point.

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Money is visible.

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But here's what's interesting to me money is visible and, um, a lot of times that could be deceptive.

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Right, so it's like money is visible, but it could also that that visibility can be deceptive, because just because you see money doesn't mean people have it, and a lot of times it's not their money that you see, it's the banks and the credit cards.

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Listen, so you know.

00:08:13.641 --> 00:08:31.423
I mean I think that's something I did have to unlearn is like hey, all this stuff that people have, they probably are in debt because of it and have put themselves in a position to where they want to be seen like they have money.

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But if you look behind the curtain, ain't really much there.

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Yeah, I think that that was something that I had to unlearn.

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If we want to, if we want to hop in Right and I'm going to do something that I it just kind of just came to mind, but I think one of the things that my mind was not really at all grasping was this idea of debt right.

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Like because money, oh, I'm sorry, no go, I'm sorry, this idea of debt because I, I don't.

00:09:06.475 --> 00:09:08.621
You know there were no credit cards.

00:09:08.621 --> 00:09:10.024
There were no.

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You know, I found out much later.

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My mom would tell me that, like there were a couple of loans that were taken.

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You know, I saw my mom and my family like, hey, let me borrow $20.

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Let me get a hundred dollars over here, like the, the exchange of money was happening on the level that we were at.

00:09:28.565 --> 00:09:31.210
Yeah right, like it was.

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Hey, you know, like my cousin gonna help out with this or my friend gonna help out with that, but it was all always on kind of like a level playing field.

00:09:40.302 --> 00:09:54.037
And when you think about things like debt, like what could be considered good debt sometimes, or what can be just considered like the ability to use money that you don't have, is actually like a middle class trait.

00:09:54.037 --> 00:10:08.138
Yeah Right, like this idea of I'm going to use debt to fund a lifestyle is not always as present or it wasn't present at my kitchen table, like I.

00:10:08.138 --> 00:10:14.611
I don't ever remember seeing a credit card being whipped out and being like hey, put it on, put it on the black card.

00:10:14.611 --> 00:10:16.804
You know I'm saying like, yeah, let me.

00:10:16.804 --> 00:10:18.830
Let me get my american express out.

00:10:18.830 --> 00:10:19.951
You know like it was.

00:10:20.091 --> 00:10:22.605
The idea of debt was frightening.

00:10:22.605 --> 00:10:23.787
Yeah, because it's.

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We already don't have everything we need.

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Why in the world would we want to go in debt?

00:10:31.307 --> 00:10:32.590
No, we don't do debt.

00:10:32.590 --> 00:10:33.932
We don't do debt.

00:10:33.932 --> 00:10:52.961
And so like this idea of being able to access a life by by kind of kicking the can down the road and putting and pulling from money that you don't have, that you're saying I will have it over the next 10 years I'll be able to pay for the life that I'm living now.

00:10:52.961 --> 00:11:00.282
I think that that is something that I like when I got access to it, like when I got a credit card.

00:11:00.721 --> 00:11:02.285
I was like oh, I'm about to.

00:11:02.285 --> 00:11:07.062
Y'all want to go on a trip, I can pay for the plane ticket, y'all want to.

00:11:07.062 --> 00:11:12.253
And I went overboard because it was a life that was completely unfamiliar to me.

00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:14.163
I think you're making a.

00:11:14.163 --> 00:11:15.648
That is an excellent point.

00:11:15.648 --> 00:11:19.746
It's interesting, I didn't grow up with debt around my table either.

00:11:19.746 --> 00:11:22.967
At my kitchen table we did not play with debt.

00:11:22.967 --> 00:11:24.846
Jacqueline Smith, that is my mother?

00:11:25.461 --> 00:11:27.104
Oh no, she ain't playing with that.

00:11:27.124 --> 00:11:28.427
Yeah, like, like she had me.

00:11:28.427 --> 00:11:30.951
I mean, I currently have a credit card.

00:11:30.951 --> 00:11:41.423
I didn't get one until I got out of debt and the only reason I got one was to get um, rental cars because I was just I don't like the hold on my debit card and I but it took.

00:11:41.423 --> 00:11:47.653
It took me until I was good and good and in my 30s to even get one.

00:11:47.653 --> 00:11:49.061
I was scared of them.

00:11:50.062 --> 00:12:15.288
I wouldn't, I wouldn't fool with it, and so so we grew up with this constant story of my grandfather, whose father lost everything during the great depression and he saw how the banks messed up the money that you know, tried to get it out so he could survive, didn't get it and, um, that shaped my grandfather's you know uh, understanding of money and debt and banks.

00:12:15.288 --> 00:12:24.803
So when he got successful this is my mom's father when he got successful, he was an entrepreneur, um, very successful more, in a small town that they grew up in.

00:12:24.803 --> 00:12:36.027
He didn't fool with banks, everything he did was in cash, he paid for everything in cash, and that was how my mom grew up.

00:12:36.027 --> 00:12:38.188
So that's how we grew up.

00:12:38.450 --> 00:12:39.049
We don't do credit cards.

00:12:39.049 --> 00:12:39.451
We don't do debt.

00:12:39.451 --> 00:12:40.371
My father grew up a very different way.

00:12:40.371 --> 00:12:40.812
His family grew up.

00:12:40.812 --> 00:12:41.873
They didn't do credit cards.

00:12:41.873 --> 00:12:42.514
We don't do debt.

00:12:42.514 --> 00:12:44.615
My father grew up a very different way.

00:12:44.615 --> 00:12:51.211
His family grew up.

00:12:51.211 --> 00:13:04.139
They didn't have a lot and he tells a story of my mom would pay her bills months in advance.

00:13:06.001 --> 00:13:08.373
My father grew up understanding you pay the bill when they come ask for the bill.

00:13:08.373 --> 00:13:09.899
No, but, for real, though you know what I'm saying.

00:13:09.899 --> 00:13:23.009
Tell me y'all ain't had to avoid the credit card, the credit card people calling on the phone, what they call the bill collectors, calling your phone when they came out with caller ID.

00:13:23.505 --> 00:13:26.066
Let me tell you something caller ID changed the game.

00:13:26.066 --> 00:13:27.009
Okay.

00:13:27.048 --> 00:13:28.452
Changed the game.

00:13:28.452 --> 00:13:30.139
Okay, you look at that caller ID.

00:13:30.139 --> 00:13:31.042
I don't know that number.

00:13:31.042 --> 00:13:31.884
We ain't answering that.

00:13:31.884 --> 00:13:33.951
Okay, might be a bill collector.

00:13:36.039 --> 00:13:36.802
And you just so.

00:13:36.802 --> 00:13:47.884
So I, I grew up with very, I grew up with a pretty balanced understanding of money, but I grew up with with with parents from two very different perspectives and different habits that they had.

00:13:47.884 --> 00:13:48.427
You know what I mean.

00:13:48.427 --> 00:14:13.323
And so we, um, I I we'll talk about a little later but I think that there were a lot of things that I absolutely, uh, I had to unlearn because of my own immaturity and what I saw, um, growing up and made some just assumptions around things, you know, and it wasn't necessarily what I was taught, but it's what I thought, I saw and understood, and I really didn't it's like no, no, no, that's not really what we meant.

00:14:13.323 --> 00:14:21.551
And so I, as I got older, I started to understand some things, but the debt thing was was a very, very.

00:14:21.551 --> 00:14:23.715
I just you know you get away from it.

00:14:23.715 --> 00:14:27.202
Um, very, I just you know you get away from it.

00:14:27.202 --> 00:14:27.683
I think you're right.

00:14:27.703 --> 00:14:28.445
I love what you said about the.

00:14:28.445 --> 00:14:31.912
Uh, you're trying to fund a life that you don't currently have access to.

00:14:31.912 --> 00:14:49.570
It's like this idea of and there is a to some degree that that, uh, that attitude of entitlement right, that attitude of entitlement right that you see in a lot in America where you feel like I deserve that.

00:14:49.570 --> 00:14:51.965
So I'm going to go get it, even though I can't afford it.

00:14:51.965 --> 00:14:57.312
And to me, that is a mindset that we have to.

00:14:57.312 --> 00:15:00.048
We've all been there in some form or fashion.

00:15:00.048 --> 00:15:01.304
I deserve it.

00:15:01.304 --> 00:15:06.004
I'm going to go get it even though I can't afford it, and it's it.

00:15:06.004 --> 00:15:10.285
It has defined generations.

00:15:10.285 --> 00:15:11.249
It has defined.

00:15:11.308 --> 00:15:23.922
I would say you know, probably the our generation and the generation right above us, gen X that has really defined that like nope, I deserve it, I'm gonna go get it, even though I can't afford it.

00:15:23.922 --> 00:15:32.034
And then you look back and you have to continue to work for what you got when you couldn't afford it.

00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:33.504
But here's the thing.

00:15:33.504 --> 00:15:38.048
Here's the thing, and I'm sorry I'm jumping through these points, but I'm going to hit them as they come.

00:15:38.048 --> 00:15:52.452
Here's the thing the things that we're buying, that we can't afford, don't have any real value, right, they are not things that are going to be accruing value as you hold them.

00:15:52.452 --> 00:16:05.467
You know, like you're going out and getting nice bags and I, you know, I was saying for a long time I was like I'm not buying another bag until it's name brand, cause I've never had a name brand purse.

00:16:05.467 --> 00:16:08.470
I've never bought myself a name brand purse.

00:16:08.470 --> 00:16:22.066
One landed in my hands accidentally, which is a whole nother story but I have never sat down and went to a designer store and bought myself a purse and I had that set.

00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:33.105
But then after a while I said, jaquita, you just need something to hold your things, right, like there will be a time where you will be able to out of your abundance by that thing.

00:16:33.105 --> 00:16:37.240
But we're not buying something just so that we can have the name on us.

00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:38.663
Yeah, right, and we?

00:16:38.663 --> 00:16:55.130
But we get so consumed with this idea of I deserve because and a lot of times it's I deserve because I've had it so hard or because I had to work so hard or because I haven't had it for so long.

00:16:55.130 --> 00:16:57.000
Yeah, I should have it.

00:16:57.022 --> 00:17:02.899
Yeah, and let me tell y'all something I lived in that treat yourself, treat yourself mentality.

00:17:02.899 --> 00:17:04.587
Ok, yeah, I was.

00:17:04.587 --> 00:17:14.143
I was out there in them streets, just not named brand, but I was like hair done, nails done, I'm gonna go where I want to go, I'm gonna do what I want to do and then it does.

00:17:14.143 --> 00:17:15.806
It will not.

00:17:15.806 --> 00:17:26.820
The appetite that you have for financial success and financial wealth will not be met by going out and buying things that don't have value.

00:17:28.665 --> 00:17:38.606
So I think a good question that is something for I mean we can answer it, and just for anyone listening to answer is how do you define value?

00:17:38.606 --> 00:17:42.212
What's that Like?

00:17:42.212 --> 00:17:43.141
What does that mean?

00:17:43.141 --> 00:17:44.003
How do you define it?

00:17:44.003 --> 00:17:45.067
How do you know it's valuable to you?

00:17:46.461 --> 00:18:03.153
So I think you have to sit down with something, and and I'm I'm trying not to get into the story, cause I'm about to in a minute, but you have to you have to something that is valuable, you know, uh, in the Bible, everybody says this prayer, like the prayer of Jabez.

00:18:03.153 --> 00:18:06.069
You know, enlarge my territory, right.

00:18:06.069 --> 00:18:10.671
And everybody starts praying like Lord, just give me more, enlarge it.

00:18:10.671 --> 00:18:15.132
I want to be able to have more and do more and have more impact, right.

00:18:15.132 --> 00:18:24.961
Whatever you get that is of value should be able to be used for a higher purpose in your life.

00:18:24.961 --> 00:18:31.750
This is how I define value, right, and I'll use this example before I get into my other example my car.

00:18:31.750 --> 00:18:34.038
All right, I had a wonderful car.

00:18:34.038 --> 00:18:35.162
Her name was Miracle.

00:18:35.162 --> 00:18:39.441
Okay, her name was Miracle because she was going to take me from one miracle to the next.

00:18:39.441 --> 00:18:41.644
All right, she was a Ford Escape.

00:18:41.644 --> 00:18:43.628
She was a 2014 Ford Escape.

00:18:43.628 --> 00:18:51.313
She was beautiful, okay, and for eight good years, miracle held me down.

00:18:51.313 --> 00:19:01.163
Okay, miracle, let me tell you something Miracle never had no real big breakdowns, just had to put up some brakes on her one time and Miracle, miracle was holding me down.

00:19:01.704 --> 00:19:04.991
I got to my new job in 2022.

00:19:04.991 --> 00:19:10.443
I started working, where I had a one-hour commute to work and a one-hour commute back.

00:19:10.443 --> 00:19:13.911
As I'm driving, I'm like Miracle is taking hits.

00:19:13.911 --> 00:19:19.224
I'm looking at that mileage and it's whipping around.

00:19:19.224 --> 00:19:31.163
It is whipping around and I had a choice, whipping around, and I had an.

00:19:31.163 --> 00:19:34.832
I had a choice I could either, uh, buy a new car right or I could, you know Miracle was starting to shut down.

00:19:34.832 --> 00:19:37.337
You know she wouldn't, she wouldn't crank up some days.

00:19:37.337 --> 00:19:39.502
Miracle, be like I'm tired, boss.

00:19:39.502 --> 00:19:46.012
I was tired, I did Miracle, and and I'd be like come on, baby, you got it.

00:19:46.012 --> 00:19:46.933
You over there pressing the gate.

00:19:46.933 --> 00:19:51.236
Come on, baby, no, miracle, miracle's like mama, this is it.

00:19:51.236 --> 00:19:51.900
This is it.

00:19:52.119 --> 00:20:01.352
This is the end of the road for us right, I went and I was looking for a new car and what I wanted in a new car was for her to do what Miracle did.

00:20:01.352 --> 00:20:11.365
Like hey, I just need you to take me from point A to point B.

00:20:11.365 --> 00:20:12.327
I ain't really looking for much else.

00:20:12.327 --> 00:20:13.491
I got a friend, took me to a car lot and we found this car.

00:20:13.491 --> 00:20:14.757
It was older but it had really low miles on it, but it was huge.

00:20:14.757 --> 00:20:15.219
It was huge.

00:20:15.219 --> 00:20:17.623
I was like what am I going to do with this eight seater car?

00:20:17.623 --> 00:20:18.323
It is a large.

00:20:18.323 --> 00:20:27.935
It is a large car and I but I knew I sat in that car drove that car around when we got to the lot.

00:20:27.935 --> 00:20:34.801
We drove that car around.

00:20:34.842 --> 00:20:35.303
That car is so nice.

00:20:35.303 --> 00:20:37.490
The seats are leathery and cushiony and you just sink into it and it's a beautiful atmosphere.

00:20:37.490 --> 00:20:41.162
But when we got back I was like, let me go find a car more like.

00:20:41.162 --> 00:20:43.307
Miracle Went found a smaller car.

00:20:43.307 --> 00:20:47.788
As soon as I got in that car I was like this is not where I'm at in my life anymore.

00:20:47.788 --> 00:20:55.807
Like I had moved from going from Miracle to Miracle to Glory to Glory that's the name of my new car.

00:20:55.807 --> 00:21:00.821
Alright, her name is Glory, okay, because she's going to take me, not just a Miracle.

00:21:00.922 --> 00:21:09.767
Oh Lord I tell you you can make anything spiritual bro she gonna take me from glory to glory y'all Okay, and it's a GMC Acadia.

00:21:09.767 --> 00:21:10.981
Guess what Acadia means?

00:21:10.981 --> 00:21:15.813
Oh boy, come on here, place of plenty, get with it All right, all right, plenty of room.

00:21:15.813 --> 00:21:18.502
Go ahead, but I had to.

00:21:18.502 --> 00:21:28.855
The value of the car was not just that the car was a little bit less expensive than some of the other newer models.

00:21:28.855 --> 00:21:32.934
The value of the car was everything I'm able to do in this car.

00:21:32.934 --> 00:21:33.938
You know what I'm saying.

00:21:33.938 --> 00:21:35.743
I drove up before your wedding.

00:21:36.105 --> 00:21:42.565
I was like hey, we whipping through the streets of Memphis around here to all your appointments.

00:21:42.565 --> 00:21:45.662
You know how much furniture I've carried in the back of this car.

00:21:45.662 --> 00:21:50.383
I believe that, like when I, when I went to Goodwill and they said, hey, you want this dresser for $40?

00:21:50.383 --> 00:21:52.106
Put it in the back.

00:21:52.106 --> 00:21:53.670
You hear what I'm saying?

00:21:53.670 --> 00:21:57.021
Somebody was like hey, you want this desk, put it in the back.

00:21:57.021 --> 00:21:59.584
I got, I got patio furniture in the back.

00:21:59.584 --> 00:22:04.627
I've now driven my family on at least three family vacations.

00:22:04.627 --> 00:22:10.373
Okay, everybody get in here, everybody got a seat, everybody's comfortable, you know, and all of that.

00:22:10.373 --> 00:22:16.196
So the value of it was not, was not even in what I was able to do with the car.

00:22:19.819 --> 00:22:20.761
The value of it was how it expanded my life.

00:22:20.781 --> 00:22:26.922
You know, as a single woman, I didn't have to go find somebody with a truck to get stuff when I needed to get it Right.

00:22:26.922 --> 00:22:32.329
I could take my family on family trips I could, you know, and I didn't see that at the time.

00:22:32.329 --> 00:22:37.769
But the value is, how is this feeding, how is this pushing me to the next level of my life?

00:22:37.769 --> 00:22:39.806
And that was a very long story.

00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:45.208
It's a great story, I think it's an excellent example and I think that I agree with that.

00:22:45.208 --> 00:22:49.126
I think the value like value is sometimes seasonal.

00:22:49.126 --> 00:23:08.661
Um, you know you don't, you can't, always it's like, but but how you define it, um, and I think that's what you just said there you know you define it by understanding what, how, what is it that you need that's going to take you to the next level, whatever those things are, is what's going to be valuable.

00:23:09.321 --> 00:23:09.461
Um.

00:23:10.042 --> 00:23:19.169
I remember when, uh, I was working uh at my previous uh uh job before I became uh became full-time at angel street.

00:23:19.169 --> 00:23:26.990
I became full-time at Angel Street and had a great relationship with my boss.

00:23:26.990 --> 00:23:34.778
He was a mentor of mine and so I remember we had a conversation.

00:23:34.778 --> 00:23:35.800
I was never one to ask about a raise.

00:23:35.800 --> 00:23:36.481
That's something I just never did.

00:23:36.481 --> 00:23:37.545
You just don't thug it out, well, yeah Well.

00:23:37.565 --> 00:23:39.288
I don't know if I've thugged it out, but I just didn't think about it honestly.

00:23:39.308 --> 00:23:39.971
I didn't thinkug it out well.

00:23:39.971 --> 00:23:43.239
Yeah, well, I don't know if I've thugged it out, but I was just like I just didn't think about it.

00:23:43.239 --> 00:23:45.044
Honestly, I didn't think about it.

00:23:45.044 --> 00:23:46.497
It's not something that crossed my mind.

00:23:46.497 --> 00:23:51.034
I never really thought I does, I should have more money for what I'm doing.

00:23:51.034 --> 00:23:52.196
It just never crossed my mind.

00:23:52.397 --> 00:24:06.402
But I also think because crosses my mind almost every day but and I'll get to this later because I actually think this is I'm as I'm talking, I'm like, oh, shoot, yeah, that's something I definitely had to unlearn, but I did have.

00:24:06.402 --> 00:24:10.203
I had a conversation and he was saying you know, we get a little bit of a raise this year.

00:24:10.203 --> 00:24:11.085
I was like, ok, cool.

00:24:11.085 --> 00:24:25.382
And I remember telling him I said I appreciate that and I would you know I appreciate it, but I want you to know I value the freedom that I have with this role more than I value the money.

00:24:26.125 --> 00:24:33.807
So if there's ever a discrepancy I would take, I would not take the, I would not take more money to continue to have the freedom that I have.

00:24:33.807 --> 00:24:44.829
And I remember saying that and I was like, I'm cool, like you had to give me no more money because at that time what was valuable to me was freedom, 100%.

00:24:44.829 --> 00:24:57.097
You can pay me the bare minimum as long as I'm able to have some autonomy over my time and my energy and where I put it, I'm cool, I'll figure the money part out.

00:24:57.097 --> 00:25:07.583
But I would much rather be in a position where I could be free with my movement than be tied down because you're paying me a lot of money.

00:25:07.583 --> 00:25:08.806
I don't want that.

00:25:09.454 --> 00:25:20.301
But see, I think that that's the level of freedom when you realize that there are things that are more important than money and you have to be able to name them.

00:25:20.301 --> 00:25:26.255
That's when you have real bargaining power 100%, 100%.

00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:31.141
And I think that that is something that I've had to unlearn.

00:25:31.141 --> 00:25:50.269
And I think that we have to unlearn is that you have more bargaining power when everything isn't tied to how much you make, because unless you're working for yourself, you'll never control that and that's just a reality.

00:25:50.269 --> 00:26:06.065
Somebody else is going to control how much you get, and so if your decisions are tied to how much you make and then you can't determine, you can't live into the reality of your values at the level you could if that wasn't the case.

00:26:06.686 --> 00:26:23.441
Yeah, no, I think that's so good because I think that we base a lot of decisions and I know that I feel like I was, even when you grow up and you're shout out to all my first gen college students, right, like all the hope was on you.

00:26:23.441 --> 00:26:30.482
It was like, ah, you know, they gonna make it out, and the idea was they gonna make it out and make more money.

00:26:30.482 --> 00:26:32.268
Yeah, like that was.

00:26:32.268 --> 00:26:38.681
That was kind of like the addendum that nobody was saying yeah, that's real, everybody was like our baby gonna make it to college, Right.

00:26:38.701 --> 00:26:43.855
Everybody was like our baby going to make it to college, right, and the idea was that college is going to come with some more money, that's right.

00:26:43.855 --> 00:27:09.038
And if you grew up financially insecure, meaning that there was some area of your financial wellness growing up that felt unsteady, unsure, we all know how it's going to work out this time around, right, everybody is banking on you being secure and they and they will feel like and you're all you're almost thinking like I got to get them a return on their investment.

00:27:09.038 --> 00:27:11.644
Right, like everybody poured into me.

00:27:11.644 --> 00:27:17.064
You know people picking me up from 5 million different clubs and you know sacrificing.

00:27:17.064 --> 00:27:22.438
My mom wouldn't let me work a job when I was in high school because she was like focus on them books.

00:27:22.438 --> 00:27:23.520
You know what I'm saying.

00:27:23.520 --> 00:27:25.445
Because you got to go to college, right.

00:27:25.445 --> 00:27:35.166
But then I realized you know one when you get to college, you know, especially when we went to college in the early 2000s okay, we came out of college.

00:27:35.166 --> 00:27:39.123
We was like, oh, this degree really don't guarantee a good check, do it?

00:27:39.163 --> 00:27:39.704
guarantee a bill.

00:27:39.704 --> 00:27:41.893
This degree really don't shoot a good check, do it.

00:27:41.913 --> 00:27:42.394
Guarantee a bill.

00:27:42.394 --> 00:27:49.561
This degree really don't Shoot this degree, you know, because we was thinking, hey, you go to college, you're going to come out and make about 50, 60.

00:27:49.561 --> 00:27:50.738
You know what I'm saying?

00:27:50.738 --> 00:27:51.621
I'm sorry that was loud.

00:27:51.621 --> 00:27:54.020
I went to college, man, look, I went to college.

00:27:54.020 --> 00:27:57.637
I went to undergrad, I went to grad school, got a master's.

00:27:57.637 --> 00:28:00.724
I had two degrees from two good colleges.

00:28:00.724 --> 00:28:03.498
Okay, you know you throw them names.

00:28:03.498 --> 00:28:05.061
I used to throw them names around.

00:28:05.061 --> 00:28:06.285
Don't play with me.

00:28:06.285 --> 00:28:06.846
Do you know where?

00:28:06.846 --> 00:28:07.696
I went to college?

00:28:08.097 --> 00:28:15.318
The first job I got I went, I was working at a nonprofit and they said we're going to offer you a salary of $33,000.

00:28:15.318 --> 00:28:17.502
And we know you young folk, like to negotiate.

00:28:17.502 --> 00:28:18.625
We don't do that here.

00:28:18.625 --> 00:28:30.298
And I said, yes, yes, ma'am, I'll take it, thank you, cause I had been without a job for a year.

00:28:30.298 --> 00:28:32.241
Okay, I had been sleeping on a good friend best friend's couch.

00:28:32.241 --> 00:28:38.117
I slept on Jhane's couch for a year, okay, and I tell you she's come on to a fresh cooked meal.

00:28:38.117 --> 00:28:40.142
Okay, fresh cooked.

00:28:40.142 --> 00:28:42.926
All right, can I fluff your pillows?

00:28:42.926 --> 00:28:51.997
Dang, you know.

00:28:51.997 --> 00:28:55.314
But we the idea that, like, success is tied to making money, which is tied to you got to do something we recognize.

00:28:55.314 --> 00:29:02.269
Right, my family did not recognize that when I changed my major to religion it was not oh, my baby done found the Lord.

00:29:02.269 --> 00:29:04.823
It was what you going to do with that.

00:29:06.496 --> 00:29:08.523
This is what all my sacrifice was for.

00:29:09.454 --> 00:29:13.923
This is what I worked three jobs for, so you can go and be a religion major baby.

00:29:13.974 --> 00:29:15.579
You can go to church for free.

00:29:16.703 --> 00:29:17.065
I can't.

00:29:17.065 --> 00:29:18.019
Why don't you become?

00:29:18.078 --> 00:29:21.055
a religion Because they have a point.

00:29:21.055 --> 00:29:24.894
I mean, let's be real, like that's, there's some, it's like you know what I understand.

00:29:24.894 --> 00:29:26.982
That makes a lot of sense.

00:29:26.982 --> 00:29:28.781
You make it good sense.

00:29:28.781 --> 00:29:30.962
At the time I was zealous.

00:29:30.962 --> 00:29:32.826
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:32.826 --> 00:29:34.753
You look back and you're like you know what?

00:29:34.914 --> 00:29:39.753
I look back and I when I tell you I should have been in them STEM programs.

00:29:39.753 --> 00:29:46.548
When I tell you I'm out here getting these humanities degrees, no one cares.

00:29:46.548 --> 00:29:51.785
Okay, I should have been out here dissecting frogs and insects.

00:29:52.045 --> 00:29:52.928
You can still preach.

00:29:52.928 --> 00:29:59.208
You can preach and have a scientific degree where you can step.

00:29:59.208 --> 00:30:00.078
They do that all the time.

00:30:00.078 --> 00:30:00.761
Girl, let me tell you something.

00:30:00.781 --> 00:30:01.284
They do that all the time.

00:30:01.284 --> 00:30:05.011
Girl, let me tell you something I wish every I do be thinking about that.

00:30:05.011 --> 00:30:09.181
I'm like, so you ain't want to double make you, you ain't want to add a little something to that.

00:30:09.181 --> 00:30:10.284
You know, like that's funny.

00:30:10.284 --> 00:30:12.501
But listen, the Lord provides, okay.

00:30:13.596 --> 00:30:46.925
But I do think that we, when we think about like especially me, what I grew up thinking about money was I'm supposed to be the one that that breaks us out of the cycle, yeah, and when you put that pressure on yourself but you don't realize, like baby, with what tools you have so much to unlearn about money, because when you grow up without a lot of money, you also don't know the boundaries and the rules of money, right?

00:30:46.925 --> 00:30:52.807
So when you get it, let me tell you the prayer I've been praying since probably about November last year.

00:30:52.807 --> 00:30:56.203
I said, lord, I have learned to be abased.

00:30:56.203 --> 00:30:59.304
Okay, you know how Paul says I have learned to both be abased and to be abound.

00:30:59.304 --> 00:31:00.308
I said, lord, I got the abased down, all right.

00:31:00.308 --> 00:31:01.755
I know how Paul says I have learned to both be abased and to be abound.

00:31:01.755 --> 00:31:05.980
I said, lord, I got the abased down, all right, I know how to be broke.

00:31:06.462 --> 00:31:08.319
All right, I know how to not have enough.

00:31:08.942 --> 00:31:10.145
All right, I'm very good at it.

00:31:10.145 --> 00:31:12.844
It's almost scary how good I am at it.

00:31:12.844 --> 00:31:22.576
Like when I get down to my last $20, I'd be like watch me work, baby, hold on Don't nobody.

00:31:22.576 --> 00:31:22.998
Even don't nobody.

00:31:22.998 --> 00:31:33.066
Even when Christmas time came around and I was like the money is the money a little short when I tell you, I got Christmas gifts, for everybody was out there hustling, using birthday coupons, making a thing shake.

00:31:33.066 --> 00:31:34.695
I said I'm too good at this.

00:31:34.695 --> 00:31:35.978
I'm too good.

00:31:35.978 --> 00:31:41.548
I'm, I'm way too good at being a bass Lord.

00:31:41.548 --> 00:31:42.529
I'm an expert.

00:31:42.529 --> 00:31:44.321
I'm at the expert level.

00:31:44.321 --> 00:31:46.701
I'm a master.

00:31:46.701 --> 00:31:48.260
I got my PhD.

00:31:48.260 --> 00:31:50.622
I've written my dissertation.

00:31:50.622 --> 00:31:52.840
All right, they quoting me in the research?

00:31:52.840 --> 00:32:02.288
All right, they're like you know, as Ross stated in her 2011 book, I'm telling you, I got it down pat.

00:32:02.648 --> 00:32:05.339
I said, laura, I don't want to, I don't need to learn this, no more.

00:32:05.339 --> 00:32:07.067
This lesson is learned.

00:32:07.067 --> 00:32:15.071
I now like to unlearn that as a matter of fact, because I need to learn this about this life of abundance and it is.

00:32:15.071 --> 00:32:16.055
It is literally.

00:32:16.055 --> 00:32:19.201
I don't think I realized that it really is.

00:32:19.201 --> 00:32:30.028
You have to take off one mindset and you have to adopt, you have to grow into learning how to live the way that God intended for us to live.

00:32:30.028 --> 00:32:31.637
That has to be learned.

00:32:31.637 --> 00:32:32.579
It's not just natural.

00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:56.307
Yeah, and I do want to, though maybe and I, when you say the way God intended for us to live, because I feel like going back to the value piece of it you know the way God intended and even what abundance means, right, the way God intended for us to live I think we automatically equate abundance with money, like it's an automatic.

00:32:56.307 --> 00:32:58.977
That's what we think and I don't think that that's true.

00:32:58.977 --> 00:33:28.742
I don't think that that is the most complete way, I think, to interpret what God's abundance is, but that's what we do and I think so, like the, the idea of living in abundance and having an abundant life, uh, you know, how does, how could that, how could that possibly look?

00:33:28.742 --> 00:33:37.917
Because you, okay, think of it like this, right, you look, you look at people who, uh, have a lot, and this is something I had to unlearn because I grew up with people who had a lot of wealth I had.

00:33:37.917 --> 00:33:45.628
I went to a school with very, very wealthy people, um, and you know, we were not, we weren't that like we.

00:33:45.628 --> 00:33:59.222
I was very much in a, in an environment that was, um, where I didn't experience the same thing in my house that others did in theirs, and so, as far as, like you know the visible stuff right, like we were talking about earlier.

00:34:00.986 --> 00:34:24.177
But as I grew up and began to see some of my peers and their lives kind of unfolding in their adulthood that idea of abundance and what it really looked like to have an abundant life and how money played a role in that I began to shift.

00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:26.702
I had to unlearn what I thought.

00:34:26.702 --> 00:34:35.304
I really thought that money is what's going to make you abundant, because that's what I saw.

00:34:35.304 --> 00:35:06.255
Then, as people got older and they started really a lot of some people just unraveling, you start to see that it's like money does not, money did not give you the abundant life, um, and I saw the difference in people who were, who didn't have a lot, um, but their life was abundant, like for real, and then people that had a lot and their life was lacking.

00:35:06.255 --> 00:35:10.565
And so I think we do have to unlearn it.

00:35:10.565 --> 00:35:17.327
It's hard and it's one of those things I feel like it seems kind of obvious when you think about it, but it's been so ingrained in us.

00:35:17.327 --> 00:35:31.643
It's been ingrained in our theology let's just be real about it that a lot of our Western theology teaches, whether directly or indirectly, that God's biggest blessing for you will be in your pocketbook.

00:35:33.494 --> 00:35:34.115
My Lord.

00:35:34.115 --> 00:35:40.643
Okay, I have two strains of thoughts that I want to get in on that.

00:35:40.643 --> 00:36:00.541
The scripture that came to mind when you were talking and this is not to be down on anybody, but I do think that there are when we think about, kind of like, this idea of, like you know, money brings the sense of happiness, brings the sense of peace or brings the sense of like purpose, right.

00:36:00.541 --> 00:36:03.452
Happiness brings the sense of peace or brings the sense of like purpose, right.

00:36:03.452 --> 00:36:09.047
I think that you are absolutely right that there is an abundance of life that is not encapsulated by how much money you have.

00:36:09.047 --> 00:36:20.545
In fact, it is the people who have less of, who have less sometimes, who gain the more in other areas of their life, and I think that that is something that I've had to unlearn.

00:36:20.545 --> 00:36:44.576
That's right.

00:36:44.597 --> 00:36:48.775
Rich sense of family and community, the rich sense of an identity that is not built on how much you have or how much you can get, but how well you treat people, how well you treat yourself.

00:36:48.775 --> 00:37:00.862
You know, like I as a person who is, you know and and let me say this, I was also blessed by a mom that was very progressive.

00:37:00.862 --> 00:37:03.768
So I was, I wasn't just watching her struggle.

00:37:03.768 --> 00:37:07.175
I was also blessed by a mom that was very progressive, so I wasn't just watching her struggle.

00:37:11.215 --> 00:37:24.922
I was watching her grow and pull out of a circumstance and getting from one level to the next, and, because we were all young, I was literally watching as it happened and watching my mom become a homeowner, and watching my mom, you know, not have to work as many jobs, but find like that one that you know.

00:37:24.922 --> 00:37:35.791
I watched my mom prosper, but also prosper while maintaining the same virtues and values that made her rich to begin with.

00:37:35.791 --> 00:37:40.688
And so I do think that there is a sense where you have to redefine.

00:37:40.688 --> 00:37:43.336
When I think rich and wealthy are different, right.

00:37:43.336 --> 00:37:48.317
I think rich means that something is full of goodness, right.

00:37:48.317 --> 00:37:52.027
Like when you say, like, the soul is rich with nutrients, right.

00:37:52.027 --> 00:37:55.545
Or something is rich with a substance.

00:37:55.914 --> 00:38:04.898
You have to, you have to be able to look inside yourself and say, regardless of how much funds are in the bank, what do I have an abundance of?

00:38:06.260 --> 00:38:15.199
And then that abundance, whatever you have an abundance of, can continue to create abundance for you.

00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:23.811
What are the things that are abundant in your character, that are richly embedded in who you are and in what you do?

00:38:23.811 --> 00:38:38.980
Well, whatever you have an abundance of, that's where your abundance is going to come out of, right, and you have to learn to put value on what's valuable inside of you so that you can create the value you know I'm saying outside of you.

00:38:38.980 --> 00:38:44.300
And so I do think that there is there's something really meaningful.

00:38:44.300 --> 00:39:00.487
And I think, if you have money, money can be a distraction because you're like I don't have to build my integrity or build my values or build my virtues, because I can just pay for things and I can cover this, and then you keep going after the money.

00:39:00.487 --> 00:39:06.398
But, like you said in the beginning, chasing at the money does not build value, right?

00:39:06.398 --> 00:39:10.722
What are you rich in that nobody can take away from you?

00:39:12.882 --> 00:39:25.391
this is the what's the word I'm looking for Counter kind of intuitive nature of what this is.

00:39:25.391 --> 00:39:33.038
It's like people the most successful people understand the concept of value.

00:39:33.038 --> 00:39:48.922
The best businesses have tapped into what's valuable for you as a customer, and then they meet you with value, which is why some of the most lucrative businesses it's not about.

00:39:48.922 --> 00:40:02.750
They know that the price is not the problem and, as you, as the consumer, is going to pay for what's valuable, they don't set the price based on what you can afford.

00:40:02.750 --> 00:40:11.268
They set the price based on the value and then you, as the consumer, opt into it based on what's valuable to you.

00:40:11.268 --> 00:40:12.813
Ooh, come on here now.

00:40:12.913 --> 00:40:14.525
Yeah, so you have this.

00:40:14.525 --> 00:40:14.887
What?

00:40:14.887 --> 00:40:26.545
What ends up happening is you learn that, uh, exchange of value is what builds the cashflow right, oh, that is good.

00:40:27.579 --> 00:40:29.086
That's what builds it, that is good.

00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:30.885
You don't go after money.

00:40:30.885 --> 00:40:31.882
You don't go after people's pockets.

00:40:31.882 --> 00:40:32.599
You go after value, and that's what builds it.

00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:32.719
You don't go after money.

00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:33.164
You don't go after people's pockets.

00:40:33.164 --> 00:40:36.025
You go after value, and that's what builds the cash.

00:40:36.206 --> 00:40:37.722
Okay, that's just Wait a minute.

00:40:37.722 --> 00:40:40.061
That's good, that's true, that's good.

00:40:40.061 --> 00:40:42.827
That's a life changer for somebody, right?

00:40:42.827 --> 00:40:58.831
Because I know for me personally, even like I get irritated on jobs when I feel like I'm not making enough, I'd be like, irritated on jobs when I feel like I'm not making enough, I'd be like somebody need to give me more money, right, but am I increasing the?

00:40:58.851 --> 00:40:59.413
value that I add, that's it.

00:40:59.432 --> 00:41:16.764
Because the value, even if I outgrow that role, there is somebody else that will value the work that I've done internally and will give me an opportunity that will match, will match what I have on the inside.

00:41:16.764 --> 00:41:22.067
But if you're chasing, if you're chasing the coin, it's not, it's never going to work.

00:41:22.329 --> 00:41:22.871
You're under.

00:41:22.871 --> 00:41:33.349
You're undervaluing yourself because, at the end of the day, the the little two, three, five $10,000 that they're going to give you is actually not what you're worth.

00:41:33.349 --> 00:41:40.317
You're worth more because you have the ability to add more value than $10,000 to your check.

00:41:41.039 --> 00:41:41.219
Yeah.

00:41:41.581 --> 00:41:45.711
But when you just look for what can I do for the $10,000, you sell yourself short.

00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.425
And so I just and I understand this is why, and I'll.

00:42:05.425 --> 00:42:08.070
This is why I'm so passionate about young professionals focusing more on what they, what they add.

00:42:08.070 --> 00:42:10.295
Wait, no, no, no, no, no, we're just so connected because I was, I was there.

00:42:10.315 --> 00:42:10.556
I was there.

00:42:10.556 --> 00:42:13.041
I was there, go ahead, I was there.

00:42:13.041 --> 00:42:14.143
I was there, go ahead, go ahead.

00:42:14.164 --> 00:42:19.016
I'm so passionate about young professionals understanding how to add more value and not just searching for a larger paycheck.

00:42:19.175 --> 00:42:22.246
And so here's the thing, right, and here's the thing we have to unlearn.

00:42:22.246 --> 00:42:30.831
You got to unlearn, and what I had to unlearn again is that money the hardest thing about money is to get it.

00:42:30.831 --> 00:42:32.755
I had to unlearn that because that's not true.

00:42:32.755 --> 00:42:36.083
The hardest thing about money is to keep it.

00:42:36.083 --> 00:42:39.411
But if you learn how to keep it, you won't worry about getting it.

00:42:39.411 --> 00:42:42.568
That makes sense, right?

00:42:42.568 --> 00:42:45.266
Okay, that is the truth.

00:42:45.739 --> 00:42:48.764
Wait a minute, say that one more time because it just hit.

00:42:49.025 --> 00:42:52.322
If you learn how to keep money, you won't have to worry about going to get it.

00:42:54.364 --> 00:43:02.106
But no, if I, oh God, okay, First of all, can I, can I jump in real quick One thank you, I appreciate it, no problem.

00:43:02.106 --> 00:43:07.364
Before, while you were talking, I was just thinking I was like I gotta speak there.

00:43:07.364 --> 00:43:13.487
There are those of you who are in the audience right now and you are unsettled at the place.

00:43:13.487 --> 00:43:16.884
You are in that life right now, specifically financially.

00:43:16.884 --> 00:43:25.639
You are unsettled, you feel unsure, you feel underappreciated, you feel like you should have more, you feel that you need more Right.

00:43:25.639 --> 00:43:34.331
And what I want to tell you, oh Jesus, what I want to tell you is is that you are at, we are in a ripe season.

00:43:34.331 --> 00:43:37.226
Do not pay attention to what you are seeing happening.

00:43:37.226 --> 00:43:43.204
We are in a ripe season for your, for your purpose, to meet your destiny right.

00:43:43.204 --> 00:43:45.289
Your destiny is where you will end up.

00:43:45.289 --> 00:43:48.001
Your purpose is what you will accomplish, right.

00:43:48.001 --> 00:43:55.045
We are in the right season for a purpose to meet destiny Right, and you are on the right track.

00:43:55.045 --> 00:44:16.103
And just because you don't see it in front of you right now, I need you to know that your value just went up and that what is supposed to meet you is about to meet you at the level that you've been investing in yourself, and so don't get discouraged or dismayed because the opportunity hasn't come yet.

00:44:16.103 --> 00:44:19.710
You are sitting on a gold mine.

00:44:19.710 --> 00:44:26.829
There is a gold mine on the inside of you, and the opportunity is about to meet the potential, right?

00:44:26.989 --> 00:44:34.438
I think one of the most frustrating things I used to hear when I was a young adult was oh, you just have so much potential.

00:44:34.438 --> 00:44:37.268
Yeah, when is potential going to turn into something real?

00:44:37.268 --> 00:44:39.786
Yeah, when is potential going to pay off?

00:44:39.786 --> 00:44:41.987
Yeah, because what does potential mean?

00:44:41.987 --> 00:44:47.576
And I'm working my behind off trying to make potential a real thing, right, but it's not.

00:44:47.576 --> 00:44:48.498
It ain't coming.

00:44:48.498 --> 00:44:51.148
Yeah, and I'm still in the abased.

00:44:51.940 --> 00:45:07.523
Okay, and you, and I think you have to be patient, because if I had gotten then what I have now, I would have floundered it, I would have messed all over it, I would have threw it up in the air and said let the money fall where it want to fall.

00:45:07.523 --> 00:45:09.005
Who won't some?

00:45:09.005 --> 00:45:09.547
Right?

00:45:09.547 --> 00:45:18.853
But when you get it, you will get it at the appropriate time where you are ready to place the appropriate value on what you get, because you will know the value of you.

00:45:18.853 --> 00:45:20.882
And so I just think.

00:45:20.882 --> 00:45:33.056
I think that there's just so many people out there who feel like they're in an in-between spot, and what I want to tell you is patiently, wait on the Lord, patiently, patiently, patiently.

00:45:33.056 --> 00:45:38.088
Keep your feet planted until it's time to move, because there will come things.

00:45:38.088 --> 00:45:41.121
Things will come that will look like they are the thing.

00:45:41.121 --> 00:45:46.505
It's not the thing You're going to shortchange yourself.

00:45:46.545 --> 00:45:48.628
You are, I agree 100%.

00:45:48.628 --> 00:45:49.789
I was talking to.

00:45:49.789 --> 00:45:52.072
I was doing a.

00:45:52.072 --> 00:46:08.766
I was on a panel recently she's so smart Talking to a group of young professionals in youth ministry, and so the moderator asked at the end, like what is what's kind of one thing you want to leave with the group?

00:46:09.809 --> 00:46:11.152
And I told the group.

00:46:11.152 --> 00:46:14.206
I said, because we hadn't talked about this at all, right, the whole time.

00:46:14.206 --> 00:46:18.425
And I said, hey, this is going to seem out of left field and I asked the question.

00:46:18.425 --> 00:46:19.688
I said how many of you love what you do?

00:46:19.688 --> 00:46:23.943
I said how many of you love working here and love what you do?

00:46:23.943 --> 00:46:26.548
And I had them close their eyes because I wanted to be honest.

00:46:26.548 --> 00:46:27.670
Everybody in the room.

00:46:27.670 --> 00:46:29.052
They shot their hand up.

00:46:29.052 --> 00:46:31.597
Um, I said, okay, cool.

00:46:31.597 --> 00:46:33.621
And then I said here's what I want to leave with you.

00:46:33.621 --> 00:46:38.710
I said, um, don't, I'm going to, I don't.

00:46:38.751 --> 00:46:46.340
I don't know if I said exactly like this, but essentially, don't allow the fact that you don't make what you want stop you from doing what you love.

00:46:46.340 --> 00:46:48.083
How do you do that?

00:46:48.083 --> 00:46:51.268
You get good at managing what you have.

00:46:51.268 --> 00:47:05.445
You can maintain the job, the career path that you love, which for so many young people is helping other people, is serving, is doing something with purpose, and a lot of times that's not a lucrative.

00:47:05.445 --> 00:47:06.528
It's not a lucrative job.

00:47:06.528 --> 00:47:08.385
I've been in it for 15 years.

00:47:08.385 --> 00:47:09.724
It ain't you're not.

00:47:09.724 --> 00:47:11.971
You're not going to make hundreds and hundreds of thousands.

00:47:11.971 --> 00:47:16.471
Most of us aren't going to do that, doing this kind of work.

00:47:16.471 --> 00:47:29.713
But you can feel like you do because you understand how to keep it, but you have got to put time into understanding the discipline of managing money.

00:47:29.713 --> 00:47:31.726
And that's what I told them.

00:47:31.726 --> 00:47:39.590
And I was like I know it's going to come out of left field, but I don't want anybody in this room to feel like I need to quit because I'm not making enough money when you love what you do.

00:47:40.239 --> 00:47:41.664
Afterwards, a young lady came up to me.

00:47:41.664 --> 00:47:51.097
She said you were talking to me Cause I was just, I was literally looking up jobs this morning because I don't make enough and, um, but she loves what she does.

00:47:51.097 --> 00:47:53.686
And she was like you know, I'm gonna stick it out, I'm gonna stick it out.

00:47:53.686 --> 00:48:02.670
Now the thing to your point, queda, and I'm, I'm, I'm saying this cause I, um, I've lived it and now I, I lead, I lead it.

00:48:02.670 --> 00:48:05.945
Okay, so I'm, I'm on both, I've been on both sides.

00:48:05.945 --> 00:48:32.471
Uh, as a young professional, as a young professional, your career is just starting and just understand that.

00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:34.027
Don't get sucked into this false narrative of the leap into the next season of your finances.

00:48:34.027 --> 00:48:37.255
It is a step-by-step journey Most of you I'm not saying it's impossible, but most of you are going to step into and not leap into it.

00:48:37.255 --> 00:48:43.831
And so don't get sucked into this culture that you see, right, the visible culture of money.

00:48:43.831 --> 00:48:48.427
Don't get stuck in that and give yourself time to grow.

00:48:48.427 --> 00:48:52.193
You won't, but here's the thing, and I think this is kind of time to grow.

00:48:52.193 --> 00:48:54.137
You won't, but here's the thing, and I think this is kind of the.

00:48:54.137 --> 00:48:58.501
This sounds like the theme of the of the of the podcast.

00:48:58.521 --> 00:49:12.773
You have to understand the concept of value, if you're interested in making more money, if you don't understand that you won't ever make more, um, and not only that, but you will actually make other people rich because they do.

00:49:13.673 --> 00:49:13.894
Yeah.

00:49:14.139 --> 00:49:15.885
And they understand that.

00:49:15.885 --> 00:49:17.931
They understand because they understand what's valuable to you.

00:49:17.931 --> 00:49:29.909
And if you don't understand what's valuable to you, just I have to.

00:49:29.909 --> 00:49:39.936
I want to speak to those of you that are in spaces that you love but aren't paying you what you want to be paid.

00:49:39.936 --> 00:49:43.989
Wait and work and you will get there.

00:49:44.719 --> 00:49:48.871
You have to get to a space where you cannot be bought.

00:49:48.871 --> 00:49:59.711
You have to get to a space where, if somebody came to you and said, I'm off of you 10,000 more dollars to do this, and and but.

00:49:59.711 --> 00:50:10.246
But what you don't realize is that when you leave that space, you don't know what you're leaving behind and you get to a space where they will.

00:50:10.246 --> 00:50:14.568
They will uh, they will put a ceiling over you at that $10,000.

00:50:14.568 --> 00:50:15.050
They will.

00:50:15.050 --> 00:50:18.907
Where, if you had waited and built up the value?

00:50:18.907 --> 00:50:25.532
When people I want you to think of this when people say you have so much potential, I want you to think of yourself as limitless.

00:50:25.532 --> 00:50:34.414
Go, make your next move somewhere that feels limitless, even if it's not as much money as you want it to be.

00:50:34.414 --> 00:50:35.320
Where?

00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:37.306
What are the opportunities that are there?

00:50:37.306 --> 00:50:39.331
What are the freedoms that are there?

00:50:39.331 --> 00:50:40.702
Who's there?

00:50:40.702 --> 00:50:43.871
That could be your lifeline to your next thing?

00:50:43.871 --> 00:50:44.922
That's right, right.

00:50:44.922 --> 00:50:47.170
Who's the job that I have right now?

00:50:47.599 --> 00:50:50.166
You know, at first I was like you know it was.

00:50:50.166 --> 00:50:53.233
Of course it makes more money than the position I had before.

00:50:53.233 --> 00:50:59.193
Right, but it doesn't make as much money as some other people around me was moving into.

00:50:59.193 --> 00:51:02.266
And I was like, all right, all right.

00:51:02.266 --> 00:51:05.994
You know they got ten thousand twenty thousand more dollars than me.

00:51:05.994 --> 00:51:15.485
But I took this role because one I knew it was going to build a skill set in me that one wasn't as strong.

00:51:15.485 --> 00:51:16.248
Right.

00:51:16.248 --> 00:51:25.576
I knew that it was going to give me a level of exposure and a level of respect in academia that my other position wasn't going to give.

00:51:25.576 --> 00:51:26.239
Right.

00:51:26.239 --> 00:51:35.626
I knew that it was going to give me a level of access to people that normal people don't always get to have access to, and I'm around them every day.

00:51:36.208 --> 00:51:36.449
Right.

00:51:36.590 --> 00:51:37.313
And I get to.

00:51:37.313 --> 00:51:51.672
I knew it was going to be an opportunity to be mentored by somebody who is bombcom Shout out to my boss, right, I knew that it was going to be and mentored, without any type of like you know allegiance or ties.

00:51:51.672 --> 00:51:56.876
Yeah, but just because I'm in the vicinity right, I get to feed off of her greatness.

00:51:56.876 --> 00:52:05.554
Right, and I took the role and I could not be more pleased with the level of freedom that I have.

00:52:05.554 --> 00:52:09.168
Right, freedom for God to do other things in my life, like this podcast.

00:52:09.168 --> 00:52:13.141
Right, freedom for me to continue this PhD program right.

00:52:13.141 --> 00:52:18.251
And the freedom to grow, the freedom to be launched into my next level.

00:52:18.251 --> 00:52:19.474
It's a launching pad.

00:52:19.474 --> 00:52:23.525
May your next move be limitless.

00:52:23.967 --> 00:52:33.871
And if you are basing your next move only on the fact that it's going to pay you more money, you have put a limit on what your next opportunity can be.

00:52:33.871 --> 00:52:38.476
Man, right, you have to make moves that feel limitless.

00:52:38.476 --> 00:52:40.161
Yep, like this role.

00:52:40.161 --> 00:52:50.548
Like if I get on, if you put me on a launch pad and tell me I'm a rocket ship, right, as soon as that thing fires, I don't even know how high I can go.

00:52:50.548 --> 00:52:53.708
Right, because I've never been to that height before.

00:52:53.708 --> 00:52:55.987
That's what you want your next role to feel like.

00:52:55.987 --> 00:53:03.585
It is a rocket launch pad and I don't know how high this can go, but I know I'm going up and I promise you.

00:53:03.585 --> 00:53:07.369
Let me tell you something and I'm going to be 100% honest.

00:53:07.369 --> 00:53:13.467
God can bless you financially in many ways, in many, many, many ways.

00:53:13.467 --> 00:53:16.884
It does not just have to be a bigger paycheck, that's right.

00:53:16.884 --> 00:53:23.182
Your life can drastically change without you having to change position at all.

00:53:23.182 --> 00:53:31.215
Do not depend on a new job to be the answer to your financial problems.

00:53:31.215 --> 00:53:32.010
That's really good.

00:53:32.030 --> 00:53:36.132
That was something that we learned at the kitchen table that we need to let go of.

00:53:36.132 --> 00:53:40.246
Yeah Right, the generation before us, and you know they talk about us.

00:53:40.246 --> 00:53:43.699
They talk about millennials and Gen Z and Generation Alpha.

00:53:43.699 --> 00:53:47.067
We still watching y'all, we on y'all.

00:53:47.067 --> 00:53:49.632
Ok, we're trying to figure y'all out, right, but?

00:53:49.632 --> 00:53:52.007
But Gen Z and millennials, oh, they talk about us.

00:53:52.007 --> 00:54:02.289
They say they don't know how to work, right, they say they don't get out there and do the things.

00:54:02.289 --> 00:54:04.487
All they do is complain, complain, complain.

00:54:04.487 --> 00:54:10.686
But they are the ones who taught us that work equals money, that more work equals more money.

00:54:10.686 --> 00:54:18.355
And we watched them wear themselves out for these companies that did not value them.

00:54:18.355 --> 00:54:26.650
Yeah, right, that placed a high level of value on their work Right, but they didn't really get as much value out of it.

00:54:26.650 --> 00:54:31.820
And so we are a generation Sorry, I apologize for these AirPods all day.

00:54:31.820 --> 00:54:32.684
I'm going to figure it out one day.

00:54:32.684 --> 00:54:33.135
But we are a generation Sorry, I apologize for these airpods all day.

00:54:33.135 --> 00:54:34.626
I'm going to figure it out one day.

00:54:34.626 --> 00:54:38.490
But we are a generation that was destined to build.

00:54:40.181 --> 00:54:43.409
If you drive around your city right now, I want you to go.

00:54:43.409 --> 00:54:45.864
Drive to the city After the pandemic.

00:54:45.864 --> 00:54:48.554
Drive to all of the businesses that had to close.

00:54:48.554 --> 00:54:50.300
That's what I want you to do.

00:54:50.300 --> 00:54:51.766
I want you to go, look at the empty buildings.

00:54:51.766 --> 00:54:57.362
That's still even after the business closed.

00:54:57.362 --> 00:55:08.306
Nobody else said you know what I want to do Build another storefront, because a season has passed and we are a generation where there once was no land to build on, and now there's plenty.

00:55:08.306 --> 00:55:15.201
Now there's open real estate around, and now there's plenty.

00:55:15.201 --> 00:55:30.065
Now there's open real estate around, there's open space for us to come in and build new infrastructures, new ways of doing things, new ways of operating in the world, and our generation has the and when I say generation, I mean the generation of people that are present and of working age right now.

00:55:30.065 --> 00:55:34.981
Our generation has the opportunity right to build something brand new.

00:55:35.402 --> 00:55:44.550
But, you cannot do that if all you're focusing on is well, if I do this, I'm going to get five more dollars an hour, and that's going to change the game?

00:55:44.550 --> 00:55:45.152
It's not.

00:55:45.739 --> 00:55:49.788
Yeah, it's not man and I you know this kind of tags.

00:55:49.788 --> 00:55:54.927
Back to the normal piece, because I understand what we're, what Quinn and I, are talking about.

00:55:54.927 --> 00:55:56.826
Let's just be very honest.

00:55:56.826 --> 00:55:59.306
It's not the normal conversation.

00:55:59.306 --> 00:56:06.369
You're going to get more people that are going to tell you not to think like this than you are to for people to tell you to think like it.

00:56:06.369 --> 00:56:10.670
You're getting more people to tell you no, you deserve more girl, you need to go for that raise.

00:56:10.670 --> 00:56:12.733
You're going to get more people to tell you, no, you deserve more girl, you need to go for that race.

00:56:12.733 --> 00:56:17.041
You're going to get more people to tell you that, like, just understand, you're going to hear that more often than you're going to hear what we're saying.

00:56:17.041 --> 00:56:18.606
And I understand why.

00:56:18.606 --> 00:56:21.112
Because that is normal, that that that is.

00:56:21.112 --> 00:56:23.806
That is a normal, that is a normal mindset.

00:56:23.806 --> 00:56:32.545
It's what we have been taught as normal Two things that you ought to fight for your and that your job right is your source.

00:56:44.525 --> 00:56:45.246
That is your source.

00:56:45.246 --> 00:56:56.643
That's how you get and in practicality, yeah, that's true for most of us, but when you live as if that is the limit, that is your ceiling.

00:56:56.643 --> 00:56:58.628
Your job is your ceiling.

00:56:58.628 --> 00:57:00.351
Your paycheck is your ceiling.

00:57:00.351 --> 00:57:02.384
Your ability to negotiate is your ceiling.

00:57:02.384 --> 00:57:10.967
If that's how you're living, then you have missed an opportunity to be limitless, like Queda was saying.

00:57:11.487 --> 00:57:19.266
But you have to choose to do that, Like you have to choose to do that, which means you're going to have to choose to limit yourself for a season.

00:57:19.266 --> 00:57:21.974
And people don't want to talk.

00:57:21.974 --> 00:57:24.101
Man, let me tell you, people don't want to talk about that.

00:57:24.101 --> 00:57:25.342
It drives me crazy.

00:57:25.342 --> 00:57:31.347
You have to be willing to limit yourself for a season.

00:57:31.347 --> 00:57:44.507
I'm grateful for my mom I'm going to shout her out real quick because she taught me what being frugal meant.

00:57:44.507 --> 00:57:48.846
She taught me what being very meticulous with my money meant.

00:57:48.846 --> 00:57:53.043
And I want to shout out my dad, because he taught me the principle of generosity.

00:57:53.043 --> 00:57:56.472
And those two things are not mutually exclusive.

00:57:56.472 --> 00:58:04.903
When you can learn how to be responsible and wise, what you have and at the same time, have an open hand to be generous.

00:58:05.826 --> 00:58:07.911
You don't worry about what's coming to you.

00:58:07.911 --> 00:58:09.181
I don't, you don't.

00:58:09.181 --> 00:58:10.985
It's just not something that is you know.

00:58:10.985 --> 00:58:22.208
And so when we talk about you know, in Matthew six it talks about like hey, don't worry about what you're, what you're going to eat and what you're going to wear, like people who don't fool with God worry about that.

00:58:22.208 --> 00:58:26.447
But if you fooling with God, you don't got to worry about none of that, right?

00:58:29.786 --> 00:58:37.565
Fooling with okay, all right, thank you.

00:58:37.565 --> 00:58:41.016
Uh, if you rock with god, is that better than you?

00:58:41.016 --> 00:58:42.219
No, it is.

00:58:42.219 --> 00:58:42.579
It is today.

00:58:42.579 --> 00:58:48.742
If you, if you rock, if you rock with god, you don't have to worry about none of that stuff like that's.

00:58:48.742 --> 00:58:52.942
It's not something you have to be overly concerned about, because it will be taken care of.

00:58:53.623 --> 00:59:04.065
And then it goes on to say you can't serve god and serve money you cannot just, you cannot, you can't bow down, you can't put God on your heart and money on your heart.

00:59:04.065 --> 00:59:05.027
It's gotta be one of the two.

00:59:05.027 --> 00:59:06.027
Um.

00:59:06.027 --> 00:59:25.684
And so most of us who grew up in America, who have grown up in Western society and who have grown up with Western theology, whether we want to believe it or not, have lived most of our lives with money on our throne, not God.

00:59:25.684 --> 00:59:28.349
Because we don't, we don't believe.

00:59:28.349 --> 00:59:34.789
We don't believe God when he says I'm going to take care of all your needs, because we don't, we don't.

00:59:34.789 --> 00:59:36.432
We want more than our needs.

00:59:36.432 --> 00:59:39.184
We, we want all this stuff too.

00:59:39.184 --> 00:59:39.726
Right.

00:59:40.367 --> 00:59:40.969
And listen.

00:59:40.969 --> 00:59:42.813
God wants you like this.

00:59:42.813 --> 00:59:43.521
This is not.

00:59:43.541 --> 00:59:52.230
We're not promoting the life of destitution Hold on, hold on, let me no no no, no, I'm yeah, no, we're not talking about that.

00:59:52.931 --> 00:59:57.500
However, I do think that again you have.

00:59:57.500 --> 00:59:59.244
You were not talking about life of destitution.

00:59:59.244 --> 01:00:04.523
It's not about being destitute, because, at the end of the day, you're not going to be destitute, and I think that's the, that's the thing.

01:00:04.523 --> 01:00:37.849
Like, we're not going to be, um, when it's a, when your mindset is not fixated, uh, on dollars and cents which I'm not saying that's hard to do and, again, this is not stuff you're going to hear from most people when it's not fixated on it, and you can learn how to manage your mindset and fixate it on God and his provision, then you will have all that you need.

01:00:37.849 --> 01:00:41.632
And all that you need isn't living a life of nothing, right?

01:00:41.632 --> 01:00:52.081
No, that's not the point, it's not.

01:00:52.101 --> 01:00:56.047
But we also can't put out this false understanding that living a life that God wants will also give you abundance of money.

01:00:57.061 --> 01:01:04.050
That is neither one of those is true, and it's not that it can't be true Absolutely.

01:01:04.090 --> 01:01:48.965
You can have an abundance of money and you can have a lack of money, but it doesn't mean that you have to lack what you need, and that is a hard thing, it's a hard concept, but I will say that I think generations before us have shown us that that's true, and they've shown us how we can, um, how we can move in seasons where the finances are lacking but our resources aren't lacking, and and, and that those two things don't have to be the same thing, um, but when we, when we have this mindset of I got to have a bigger paycheck, I got to have the right job, the right career move in order to have my needs met, and we start fixating on that, we sell ourselves short.

01:01:49.567 --> 01:02:04.364
You, actually, you undervalue yourself so you're not able to bring value to the place you're in, not at the level that you could, because we have put ourselves in a position financially to where I have to have the 5,000.

01:02:04.364 --> 01:02:09.304
I got to have that extra because I have to pay for the life that I went after before I was ready for it.

01:02:09.746 --> 01:02:10.349
My Lord.

01:02:12.324 --> 01:02:15.775
And so those are just realities that a lot of us have found ourselves in.

01:02:15.775 --> 01:02:20.847
And if you find yourself in that position, there is a way out of it, but you have to work your way out of it.

01:02:20.847 --> 01:02:21.927
And if you find yourself, in that position.

01:02:21.947 --> 01:02:22.550
There is a way out of it.

01:02:22.550 --> 01:02:37.724
But you have to work your way out of it and if you find yourself, like, headed in that position, you can stop and say, okay, I'm going to choose to uh, I'm going to choose to continue to, I'm going to choose to remain in the position.

01:02:37.724 --> 01:02:42.393
I may I am not necessarily look, necessarily look and seek for more.

01:02:42.393 --> 01:02:44.045
Right now I'm not going to seek for more.

01:02:44.045 --> 01:02:45.224
I'm going to seek to give more.

01:02:45.224 --> 01:02:59.067
I'm going to seek to give more value, because when you do that, the people who find the value that you put out will, I'm telling you, they're going to take care of you Because value sees value and that's the exchange you want.

01:02:59.541 --> 01:03:02.786
I don't want you to exchange the paycheck, I don't care about your paycheck.

01:03:02.786 --> 01:03:10.786
I want to get to a point and I'm grateful that I feel like, in some ways, I have worked way and it's a working thing.

01:03:10.786 --> 01:03:11.885
You have to work your way there.

01:03:11.885 --> 01:03:22.050
I'm grateful to have had the steps and to have opted into the steps to work my way to a point where it's a value exchange.

01:03:22.050 --> 01:03:25.126
I'm no longer exchanging dollar for dollar.

01:03:25.126 --> 01:03:29.193
It's a value thing and I'm not concerned about that.

01:03:29.193 --> 01:03:34.643
I'm willing to give value because I know that that eventually will pay off and they'll pay off in different ways.

01:03:35.043 --> 01:03:38.693
It's not just about a paycheck and I don't have to look for that.

01:03:38.693 --> 01:03:43.125
Not just about a paycheck and I don't have to look for that.

01:03:43.125 --> 01:03:44.248
So I just I want, I want people to understand that.

01:03:44.248 --> 01:03:50.898
I really want young people to get that your life will be so much more abundant if you can understand that and you're not going to find it around most of your community.

01:03:50.898 --> 01:03:53.641
They're not going to think that way, they're just not.

01:03:53.641 --> 01:03:54.824
And you're going to have to be.

01:03:54.824 --> 01:04:09.061
You're going to have to say I'm going to think that way, I'm going to be the lone person to do the thing that nobody else is doing and then be a blessing once you're out and um and, and you know do that, choose that path.

01:04:09.382 --> 01:04:11.969
Y'all choose, don't choose the normal path.

01:04:11.969 --> 01:04:13.074
Choose that one.

01:04:13.795 --> 01:04:15.501
Listen, I want to share something with y'all.

01:04:15.501 --> 01:04:29.751
Okay, so I have been working on a few things that God is helping me to get together, because, one of one I want to reiterate to all of you that the water is stirring.

01:04:29.751 --> 01:04:31.807
Ok, pay attention to what God is doing.

01:04:31.807 --> 01:04:35.449
Ok, god is writing his own things in the heavens.

01:04:35.449 --> 01:04:39.487
Ok, that's about to come down into the earth, so pay attention to what God is writing.

01:04:39.487 --> 01:04:40.882
And that's all I'm saying about that, right there.

01:04:41.525 --> 01:04:47.378
Um, but I have been being pushed by god.

01:04:47.378 --> 01:04:50.608
I'm in a season where god is like go now right.

01:04:50.608 --> 01:04:52.614
And so I was, uh, working on something.

01:04:52.614 --> 01:04:53.900
I needed to get my deck fixed.

01:04:53.900 --> 01:04:56.543
Um, because again, god is about to make moves.

01:04:56.543 --> 01:04:57.985
I was like the deck has to be fixed.

01:04:58.385 --> 01:05:09.422
And I was at Lowe's and I was buying a butt ton of like wood, deck wood and nails and paint, and I was like, lord, that's a lot of money.

01:05:09.422 --> 01:05:12.068
And I was just like, am I doing the right thing?

01:05:12.068 --> 01:05:20.186
And I was stressing in my mind over it and I was praying and I was like, lord, I don't know if this is what I should be doing, I'm nervous.

01:05:20.186 --> 01:05:20.987
I said.

01:05:21.088 --> 01:05:25.070
I told the Lord, I said I'm nervous and the Lord said that's your feeling.

01:05:25.070 --> 01:05:25.952
It's not mine.

01:05:25.952 --> 01:05:28.173
Yeah, that's your emotion.

01:05:28.173 --> 01:05:47.942
That's not how I'm processing this moment, and you have to know, in the moments where it feels like you're making the unpopular, scary decision, or it feels like you're out here on your own on a ledge doing something that doesn't make sense, but in your heart you know it's what you're supposed to be doing.

01:05:47.942 --> 01:06:07.141
The thing that you feel unsure about, god is very certain about, because he wrote it Right, because he authored your life and your destiny and your purpose and he's authoring the next move of your life, and where you feel uncertain because you can't see the end of the story, god is very sure.

01:06:07.581 --> 01:06:36.503
And so you will come to a point in your life whether it's financially, whether it's emotionally, whether it's spiritually, physically, relationally you will come to a point in your life where you will have to lean on the surety of God and realize that just because you feel like this time in your life is risky, because it feels like you're doing the unpopular thing, you have to say it may feel risky to me.

01:06:36.503 --> 01:06:39.853
That's not how God is seeing the situation right.

01:06:39.853 --> 01:06:42.103
It may feel like I don't have enough.

01:06:42.103 --> 01:06:44.512
That's not how God is seeing it right.

01:06:44.813 --> 01:06:52.293
God is not looking at your situation being like I don't know if she's going to make it, I don't know if she's going to have what she needs.

01:06:52.293 --> 01:06:55.304
You know he's not watching, saying I wonder what's going to happen?

01:06:55.304 --> 01:07:02.074
Right, the Lord is sure about who you are, what he put inside of you and what he has for you.

01:07:02.074 --> 01:07:29.965
And when you start tapping into your value, when you start tapping into the things of value that God wants to place in your life and the place, the position that God wants to put you in, when you start tapping into that, you have to stay in the flow of God, because it's going to feel scary, because it is unfamiliar, but just because you may feel nervous about it or you may feel unsure about it.

01:07:29.965 --> 01:07:38.936
I want to encourage you, in this season of faith, to tap into well God, how do you feel about where I am right now?

01:07:38.936 --> 01:07:44.599
And lean on that to.

01:07:44.619 --> 01:07:46.023
Well, god, how do you feel about where I am right now?

01:07:46.023 --> 01:07:46.623
And lean on that.

01:07:46.623 --> 01:07:48.206
So, um, a call back to our, our last season.

01:07:48.206 --> 01:07:54.722
If you aren't sure what kind of value you can add, try taking some of these personality assessments, okay.

01:07:55.501 --> 01:08:15.757
Um and, like you know, whether it's Strength Finders or the Six Geniuses or Myers-Briggs just give yourself some language as to what you can be tapping into and begin to lean into some of the things that feel the most relevant and authentic to you.

01:08:15.757 --> 01:08:42.434
Right, like you'll, you'll get a bunch of um results and that's fine, but there are going to be some that you really connect with and lean into that because, uh, that you're going to see, uh, the value that you add, not just at your job, but to other people, um, to their lives and like making, making who, how you show up about others more than about you, um is what is?

01:08:42.434 --> 01:09:12.520
That's where the that's where that value add is the most relevant, and it's going to be um, it's going to make the most difference, like, and I think that's also one of the uh, one of the beautiful things about approaching your finances, the way we're discussing it, is that it allows you to put your focus on somebody else and not sit here and worry about what it is you do and don't have.

01:09:12.520 --> 01:09:14.046
What it is you can and can't do.

01:09:14.046 --> 01:09:15.109
That's good.

01:09:15.109 --> 01:09:22.421
You don't want to live a life where you're constantly worried about the fact that you don't have, that you don't have enough.

01:09:23.003 --> 01:09:30.127
So and for let me say this because I don't want it to sound insensitive some of you it might be that way right now you may not have enough.

01:09:30.127 --> 01:09:31.992
That is real been there.

01:09:31.992 --> 01:09:33.301
That is real been there.

01:09:33.301 --> 01:09:34.341
Man, we both been there.

01:09:34.341 --> 01:10:05.985
When it's like I genuinely don't have enough, you know, like literally, and you and so, um, but if, when you, when you, when you pour it, when you pour yourself into others, I, I and I, I I don't know if I shared this story before, but I'm gonna share it and I know we're coming up on time and we're we're about to start, I want to share this because this is this was an example in my life where I think the um relationships, it, it helped me in my not enough time.

01:10:05.985 --> 01:10:09.412
You know, uh, me, quita and our friend ashley went on trip.

01:10:09.412 --> 01:10:16.345
I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming and I think I've told this before, but we went on trip and um, we, uh uh.

01:10:16.385 --> 01:10:17.046
We went on a.

01:10:17.046 --> 01:10:19.650
We got a group on went to flor Florida.

01:10:19.650 --> 01:10:20.332
We were all broke.

01:10:20.332 --> 01:10:23.463
None of us really could do this and I came back.

01:10:24.006 --> 01:10:24.646
Never should have happened.

01:10:24.927 --> 01:10:25.529
Never should have happened.

01:10:25.529 --> 01:10:28.083
But this was like a 40, that's like a 48 hour trip.

01:10:28.083 --> 01:10:28.666
It was just crazy.

01:10:28.666 --> 01:10:33.560
Came back, realized I didn't have my bank account was in the red.

01:10:33.560 --> 01:10:37.649
This is not the first time, I mean, this is after you know a few times with being in the red.

01:10:37.649 --> 01:10:40.012
And I just got to a point where I was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore.

01:10:40.453 --> 01:10:52.605
Like I and I told and I was living with Ashley and Quina was living in Nashville and me and Ashley were living in Memphis, we were roommates and I told her, I said I'm gonna have to move in with my parents because, um, I can't afford this life.

01:10:52.605 --> 01:10:54.268
Like I'm just, I'm going crazy.

01:10:54.268 --> 01:10:56.371
I got these, uh, student loans, I got to pay.

01:10:56.371 --> 01:11:00.655
I got this car payment, I got to pay and I'm making less than $30,000.

01:11:00.655 --> 01:11:08.981
Okay, I can't do it.

01:11:08.981 --> 01:11:11.171
And so I remember the next morning, or a couple of mornings, we went to Chick-fil-A and we sat.

01:11:11.171 --> 01:11:17.783
I remember the seat we were on, I remember where we were, I remember the seat we were in and she said, okay, I've been thinking.

01:11:17.783 --> 01:11:26.849
And Ashley was a teacher, and so she and I was working in youth ministry and she was making slightly more than I was.

01:11:26.849 --> 01:11:29.090
She wasn't like balling, but she was making more than I was.

01:11:29.090 --> 01:11:41.618
And she said I'll cover more of the rent so that you have enough to pay off your car before, so so that you don't have to move.

01:11:41.618 --> 01:11:48.921
Because the reality was like Ashley was like, hey, I don't, it's going to be harder for me.

01:11:48.921 --> 01:12:26.145
And so, um, let me say I mean, and I give, I give glory to God, I shout out Ashley for that moment, because it wasn't just about my bills being paid, it really wasn't like cause, really I could have moved in more, my parents had been fine, but, um, it was about God showing up in a, in a, in a relationship, um, that had we had added, we had had mutual value added, mutual value for years to where one of one of us was in a bind and the other one did not hesitate to be the answer to my problem.

01:12:26.145 --> 01:12:37.287
And when you are able to show up as a value add to other people's lives, there are answers to your problems in people.

01:12:37.287 --> 01:12:46.525
Yeah, you don't even realize it, and so that, like you, I know people that that are um, that that don't.

01:12:47.307 --> 01:12:52.680
Case in point, there is a, a, uh, a parent of one of my students.

01:12:52.680 --> 01:13:00.085
We had a conversation the other day and, uh, she's been having car trouble and I've been uh, trying to, you know, trying to understand, anyway, I've shot my car trouble.

01:13:00.085 --> 01:13:02.734
Um car's been having car trouble and I've been uh trying to, you know, trying to understand, anyway, I've shot my car trouble.

01:13:02.734 --> 01:13:04.860
Um car's been sitting in the thing for in the driveway for two months.

01:13:04.860 --> 01:13:06.649
She didn't have the money to pay for it.

01:13:06.649 --> 01:13:09.220
Uh, and I've been trying to, you know, trying to get some help.

01:13:09.220 --> 01:13:16.328
Finally, um, and quite frankly I have been kind of slack on it, to be honest, with you, christmas break came and I and I and I just kept getting behind.

01:13:16.328 --> 01:13:23.154
And finally I was reading the other morning and I woke and I and I I really reading and I said I can't, I can't keep reading.

01:13:23.154 --> 01:13:24.396
She's come to my mind.

01:13:24.396 --> 01:13:25.081
I need to figure this out.

01:13:25.462 --> 01:13:30.273
I made a few phone calls and able to get her car to a, to a shop to get looked at.

01:13:30.273 --> 01:13:34.090
So I called her and I walked her through the process and said this is what you need to do.

01:13:34.090 --> 01:13:50.423
And she was very appreciative and I just said you know what?

01:13:50.423 --> 01:13:52.009
I just want you to know like you have been such a blessing to us, this woman.

01:13:52.009 --> 01:13:53.533
She has supplied us with snacks for several times when she didn't have it.

01:13:53.533 --> 01:13:56.301
But she's bringing snacks to Angel Street because she's so appreciative of the value we add to her child.

01:13:57.904 --> 01:14:07.710
And even in that moment where she's looking at a situation with her car that she can't afford, she asked me do y'all need snacks?

01:14:07.710 --> 01:14:12.127
I'm sitting here like ma'am, this is not the priority, we're going to take care of this car.

01:14:12.127 --> 01:14:19.029
But her mind wasn't on hers, it was on other people and I said I I want you to know you have been such a blessing to us.

01:14:19.029 --> 01:14:19.331
We are.

01:14:19.331 --> 01:14:45.606
I'm gonna do everything I can and so that, like it's an exchange of value, we can buy snacks, but the value of a relationship where we can pour into her child and she has the opportunity to add value to Angel Street in the way that she can, creates a situation to where somebody, if one of us has a problem, the other one can be an answer.

01:14:45.606 --> 01:14:58.435
And I think that is I want you to know your relationships most of the time is going to be the answer to whatever financial problem you have.

01:14:58.435 --> 01:15:05.028
But if you spend too much time worrying about your paycheck and your dollars and not the people around you.

01:15:05.448 --> 01:15:13.337
You won't have answers when you need them and your only answer will be asking for a raise or getting a new job.

01:15:13.337 --> 01:15:16.606
That'll be your only answer, and that's not how you want to live your life, and so I'm just grateful for the relationships.

01:15:16.606 --> 01:15:20.279
I'm grateful for that because they have been answers to live your life, and so I'm just grateful for the relationships.

01:15:20.279 --> 01:15:25.860
I'm grateful for that because they have been answers to my financial problems, more more than my paychecks have.

01:15:26.542 --> 01:15:27.484
Honestly, Come on here.

01:15:27.664 --> 01:15:28.327
Like for real.

01:15:28.327 --> 01:15:30.591
So just add adding value.

01:15:30.591 --> 01:15:37.887
Remember that value y'all be like, be a value add to other people and thinking, think about value.

01:15:37.988 --> 01:15:42.134
Value accrues, yes, value multiplies.

01:15:42.234 --> 01:15:42.515
Yes.

01:15:43.015 --> 01:15:46.390
Right, don't just keep trying to add money to your life.

01:15:46.390 --> 01:15:50.609
Get to a place where value can be multiplied in your life.

01:15:50.609 --> 01:15:52.301
Right, and that's what?

01:15:52.301 --> 01:15:55.109
That's what is happening in that mother's life.

01:15:55.109 --> 01:15:58.429
Yes, because she is sowing into the future of her daughter.

01:15:58.429 --> 01:16:03.270
The value that's being added in her daughter will multiply.

01:16:03.270 --> 01:16:03.872
That's right.

01:16:03.872 --> 01:16:05.846
Value multiplies.

01:16:05.846 --> 01:16:10.947
Stop thinking about, oh, I just need to add this and if I just had this, my life will change.

01:16:10.947 --> 01:16:19.292
No, continue to build value and one day you will walk into everything you've been asking God for.

01:16:19.391 --> 01:16:22.068
Yes, Because it's been accruing for you.

01:16:22.068 --> 01:16:22.550
That's right.

01:16:22.550 --> 01:16:36.113
You have an accrual, you have a bank account set up that is full of everything that God has for you, and when time and season align, you will meet everything you've been waiting for 100%.

01:16:36.113 --> 01:16:36.894
I believe that.

01:16:36.894 --> 01:16:38.627
Let me tell you something.

01:16:38.627 --> 01:16:42.081
You have to.

01:16:42.081 --> 01:16:50.826
I think one of the notes that I put in I just would feel bad if I didn't say it is you have to stop fighting for what's in front of you and allow God to start building for what's ahead of you.

01:16:50.826 --> 01:16:51.346
Amen.

01:16:51.346 --> 01:17:02.475
What you're fighting for is so much more than what you can imagine, so stop trying to build something that's in your mind and allow God to show you the picture he has for your life.

01:17:02.475 --> 01:17:07.712
Yeah, and you will start going after things that are valuable and not just things that are easy.

01:17:09.740 --> 01:17:12.287
There, it is, there, it is, clip that.

01:17:12.287 --> 01:17:17.488
All right, that was good, that was good, that was good, that was good.

01:17:17.539 --> 01:17:18.823
I think this was better than I thought it was going to be.

01:17:18.823 --> 01:17:19.264
Yeah, you know what.

01:17:19.264 --> 01:17:19.585
You know what.

01:17:19.585 --> 01:17:19.864
You know what.

01:17:19.864 --> 01:17:20.246
You know what.

01:17:20.246 --> 01:17:20.627
I ain't gonna lie.

01:17:20.627 --> 01:17:21.229
That was good that was good.

01:17:21.248 --> 01:17:22.451
I think this was better than I thought it was going to be.

01:17:22.451 --> 01:17:22.851
Yeah, you know what.

01:17:22.851 --> 01:17:23.313
You know what.

01:17:23.313 --> 01:17:23.935
You know what you know what.

01:17:23.935 --> 01:17:24.697
I ain't gonna lie, it was a slow burn.

01:17:24.697 --> 01:17:25.297
You know what I mean.

01:17:25.297 --> 01:17:25.939
It was a slow burn, slow burn.

01:17:25.939 --> 01:17:27.164
But we, we hit our stride.

01:17:33.224 --> 01:17:34.765
We're about 20 minutes in.

01:17:34.865 --> 01:17:38.068
So so if, um, so all right.

01:17:38.068 --> 01:17:39.729
Well, we're done y'all, uh.

01:17:39.729 --> 01:17:43.992
Like we said at the beginning, uh, like, share, subscribe, comment, let us know.

01:17:43.992 --> 01:17:51.478
Let's build up the community, uh, and let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom.

01:17:51.478 --> 01:17:52.805
We will see y'all next week.

01:17:52.805 --> 01:17:54.807
Peace, peace and love.

01:17:54.807 --> 01:18:02.030
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:18:02.030 --> 01:18:06.212
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:18:06.212 --> 01:18:12.953
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:18:12.953 --> 01:18:19.292
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:18:19.292 --> 01:18:25.211
See you then.