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Aug. 21, 2024

Unlearning Entrepreneurship: Coming Back From Bankruptcy, Taking Big Risks, Contentment in Business, and Starting A Coaching Business

Unlearning Entrepreneurship: Coming Back From Bankruptcy, Taking Big Risks, Contentment in Business, and Starting A Coaching Business
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Join us as Shamika and Patrick share their journey of balancing life and entrepreneurship. They reveal how they built a thriving coaching business, reaching clients from South Africa to New York, all while keeping a family-like culture.

We’ll also dive into the story behind a unique barbershop and nail salon, where quality and personal connection have been key to its success over 15 years. Learn how they’ve balanced professional ambitions with personal well-being.

Finally, Shamika and Patrick open up about overcoming financial struggles, including bankruptcy and the pandemic, and how these challenges strengthened their resolve. They offer practical advice on staying true to your values and long-term goals. Celebrate their authenticity and be inspired to pursue your own dreams.

Chapters

00:00 - Entrepreneurial Success and Building Culture

07:20 - Thriving in Entrepreneurship

15:51 - Balancing Business and Family Life

24:08 - Balancing Business and Family Life

37:43 - Success in Entrepreneurial Journey

43:39 - Building Discipline and Compound Success

59:12 - From Desperation to Inspiration

01:08:06 - Desire for Abundance and Service

01:19:35 - Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurial Success

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.401 --> 00:00:09.534
Hello everybody and welcome once again to the Unlearned Podcast.

00:00:09.534 --> 00:00:18.123
I am your host, ruth Abigail, aka RA, and this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom.

00:00:18.123 --> 00:00:26.088
And we are talking to entrepreneurs in this series, and if you have been rocking with us for a year or so, these people will look familiar.

00:00:26.088 --> 00:00:30.469
Y'all are the first repeat guests I've had.

00:00:32.581 --> 00:00:34.551
Really, really.

00:00:34.551 --> 00:00:35.154
That's good.

00:00:35.154 --> 00:00:37.564
That means we did a good job the first time.

00:00:40.683 --> 00:00:51.649
People said give them another try, because the first time was.

00:00:51.808 --> 00:00:52.509
I can see that.

00:00:52.509 --> 00:00:54.232
I can see that.

00:00:54.372 --> 00:00:55.634
You know what Thank you?

00:00:55.634 --> 00:01:11.287
Thank you for giving that's probably right To the people and giving us one more chance, because it was actually the RA and Shamika podcast, because I was just DonA and Shamika podcast because I was just don't even if I remember, I was just a prop.

00:01:11.287 --> 00:01:12.947
I was just waiting on Shamika.

00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:14.090
Shamika had bars.

00:01:14.090 --> 00:01:22.725
In that particular podcast, shamika had bars listen, she always has you could have taken a break.

00:01:22.725 --> 00:01:25.447
You know what I'm saying.

00:01:27.210 --> 00:01:28.382
You know what it was?

00:01:28.382 --> 00:01:34.533
Like this I hate when preachers come behind another preacher.

00:01:34.533 --> 00:01:40.989
When the preacher says something, fire, just because they say hey, you got anything to say, don't say nothing.

00:01:40.989 --> 00:01:42.506
The message was great.

00:01:42.506 --> 00:01:50.989
So that's how I felt when, when shamika was going, she was having her bars and I was like let me, just, let me stay out of it.

00:01:51.251 --> 00:02:03.746
Look, if you, uh, they, they participated excuse me, they participated on an unlearning marriage series and, um, it was dope y'all for real like, and you know why they.

00:02:03.746 --> 00:02:06.733
So since then, let's just talk about your life since then.

00:02:06.733 --> 00:02:12.027
So, since then, y'all have done a lot.

00:02:12.027 --> 00:02:19.623
Since that particular, podcast isn't that crazy okay, what's?

00:02:19.623 --> 00:02:21.126
Happened since a year ago.

00:02:21.126 --> 00:02:21.887
We did that podcast.

00:02:25.211 --> 00:02:27.133
Wait, this is surreal.

00:02:27.133 --> 00:02:41.757
Hold on, because you know what, if I'm not mistaken, on a podcast, I want to say we cast vision about his wife, her husband, coaching and being coaches and certified.

00:02:41.757 --> 00:02:45.364
Oh my goodness, who doing the work?

00:02:45.364 --> 00:02:48.132
Y'all, oh my goodness.

00:02:49.140 --> 00:02:50.084
So what's different?

00:02:50.084 --> 00:02:50.907
So what's new?

00:02:50.907 --> 00:02:51.830
Shemeika Harrington.

00:02:52.820 --> 00:03:07.955
Well, we have officially launched and his wife and husband coaching service is in the earth, helping individuals and married couples build and sustain their marriages from a biblical perspective.

00:03:07.955 --> 00:03:10.828
Oh my goodness it's being done.

00:03:10.848 --> 00:03:11.530
That's good.

00:03:12.020 --> 00:03:13.308
You know it's a lot of times.

00:03:13.308 --> 00:03:20.052
You know, you, how you can dream something and until somebody say, hey, come back in, let's sit down, let's, let's reassess.

00:03:20.052 --> 00:03:23.389
Wow, Wow, patrick.

00:03:23.629 --> 00:03:23.909
Yeah.

00:03:24.010 --> 00:03:24.110
OK.

00:03:24.419 --> 00:03:29.151
So, yeah, we're doing that, touching lives all over the globe.

00:03:29.151 --> 00:03:30.002
How about we didn't?

00:03:30.002 --> 00:03:31.405
Coach in South Africa.

00:03:31.405 --> 00:03:34.752
We didn't coach in coaching from North Carolina.

00:03:34.752 --> 00:03:37.780
We coached him from Texas, from New York to Tennessee.

00:03:37.780 --> 00:03:39.143
Who doing it?

00:03:39.182 --> 00:03:45.939
Who the rookie of the year?

00:03:50.064 --> 00:03:58.556
let's go, baby oh my goodness, so yeah oh, my doing the podcast thing, staying consistent with that.

00:03:58.556 --> 00:04:03.335
And yeah, y'all we, yeah, all right come on, coach, that's amazing.

00:04:03.495 --> 00:04:11.144
I didn't even realize that it had really been the last time we talked on a podcast.

00:04:11.144 --> 00:04:17.427
Y'all were visioning this thing and now you've gotten certified.

00:04:17.427 --> 00:04:19.464
So you're like certified.

00:04:19.464 --> 00:04:32.245
You have like a certificate that says you know what we're doing, you have officially launched this business and you have paying customers in the business.

00:04:32.245 --> 00:04:40.762
You got a podcast, and this was a year ago, that's what.

00:04:40.762 --> 00:04:45.064
I love about this because I've known y'all for years.

00:04:45.064 --> 00:04:49.646
I've known you for a while I don't even know how many at this point.

00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:54.848
What, like I want to say, it's definitely over 15.

00:04:55.149 --> 00:04:56.583
No 15?

00:04:56.843 --> 00:04:58.732
You're wrong 2008?

00:05:02.185 --> 00:05:03.420
When did you all move to Memphis?

00:05:03.440 --> 00:05:04.363
2010.

00:05:04.363 --> 00:05:06.110
So I've been here for almost 15.

00:05:06.110 --> 00:05:12.949
So, unless you're making me in a dream, which is very yeah no, no, no, I would say 15.

00:05:13.300 --> 00:05:16.771
I say it because when you move to Memphis, we met our property.

00:05:18.283 --> 00:05:19.930
Then we all moved to 2011.

00:05:22.802 --> 00:05:26.970
So we say 2011 and we really like had a friendship.

00:05:28.391 --> 00:05:31.805
Oh yeah, that's been that's been right.

00:05:31.805 --> 00:05:31.925
Yeah.

00:05:34.141 --> 00:05:35.264
I'll say 18.

00:05:35.483 --> 00:05:38.072
Yeah, you kept us around I appreciate that A long time.

00:05:38.922 --> 00:05:39.925
I ain't one going nowhere.

00:05:39.925 --> 00:05:40.749
She kept us around.

00:05:42.101 --> 00:05:53.634
So Shamika, one of her skills is a nail tech and one of the things and I want y'all, I want y'all to talk about this, because I've never known you not to be entrepreneurs.

00:05:53.634 --> 00:06:24.884
I've always known y'all to be entrepreneurs and I've seen the the, the wave of that journey and I, one of the things I've always appreciated about being a client of yours particularly Shemika, and you know, seeing you work with your clients is that when you walk in, you everybody feels like family, like I'll have a real knack for really just bringing people in, like I would tell you all the time I mean I'm glad I get my nails up.

00:06:24.884 --> 00:06:27.584
I really don't come for that, like you know.

00:06:27.584 --> 00:06:29.708
I come to just be with my people.

00:06:29.708 --> 00:06:33.653
So talk about like how does it?

00:06:33.653 --> 00:06:39.557
And, pat, we're gonna let you talk because you say you like right I'm cool and listen.

00:06:39.778 --> 00:06:43.528
I know how y'all when you guys get together, I get it.

00:06:43.548 --> 00:06:44.050
I want you to.

00:06:44.050 --> 00:06:45.413
I want you to how.

00:06:45.413 --> 00:06:51.047
What does it take to build that kind of a culture and a business like like what, what?

00:06:51.047 --> 00:06:52.971
What about what y'all do?

00:06:52.971 --> 00:06:54.132
What?

00:06:54.132 --> 00:06:57.290
What is it that you think you all are building like?

00:06:57.290 --> 00:07:01.026
Because I think you have a lot of people that have these things in their minds.

00:07:01.026 --> 00:07:17.889
It's like we want to build something, or like, you know, I want to start something new or I want to do something that nobody's done before, and, in my opinion, whether you did it on purpose or not, y'all have a culture in the businesses you have that I don't experience in other as a client anywhere else.

00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:19.959
All right.

00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:50.944
So I'm going to stop because I'm going to give credit to your father, because it was his ideal to create this space where people can come and relax and there's not a lot of people around and they can just kind of relax and release.

00:07:51.406 --> 00:08:00.870
And so he kind of challenged or encouraged and and I can say, um, what's the word?

00:08:00.870 --> 00:08:05.399
Invested in the way that allowed that to happen.

00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:14.834
So that changed the mindset for us is that how do we get people who want to come in this space where they can just relax?

00:08:14.834 --> 00:08:29.124
And so in the beginning it was for certain types of clientele that would come where they can just be themselves, come where they can just be themselves.

00:08:29.144 --> 00:08:58.519
And so intentionally we wanted to create a space where people can do that, where they can come, they can talk, they can freely talk, because even from the barbershop side, most men don't really voice how they really feel, they're not vulnerable when they come to the barbershop because there's so many men, and so we intentionally wanted to create spaces for people to be vulnerable, and it's just our heart to see people lives change, like we love to see the light bulb go off when we're having these one on one conversation.

00:08:58.519 --> 00:09:09.279
So that intimate setting allow for us, allow for us.

00:09:09.279 --> 00:09:10.863
And I've seen, I've seen guys who are, I would say, like real rough, tough guys.

00:09:10.863 --> 00:09:11.163
Yeah, cry that.

00:09:11.163 --> 00:09:13.869
You would normally never see that happen in a regular barbershop.

00:09:13.869 --> 00:09:33.769
So because of your father's push and challenge to create that space, we ran with it and it has panned out where we have seen people individually, as well as couples, change their lives just by coming and into that space.

00:09:33.769 --> 00:09:36.681
So I would I would really credit him for that.

00:09:36.760 --> 00:09:57.884
go ahead um, and so the other thing I wanted to add to that would be having, having, I guess, the heart to to have quality over quantity and making sure that people always, when they can't, when they come in for the first time, that they will want to come back.

00:09:58.024 --> 00:10:09.284
So the way we work is making each time as if it's the first time and possibly the last, not to say the last, like due to a bad service.

00:10:09.284 --> 00:10:21.402
But it could be that life will take you on a different road, or whatever the case may be, but I will want your life to be better as a result of you having come into our presence.

00:10:21.402 --> 00:10:25.956
And then the other thing is, um, it's that balanced blend.

00:10:25.956 --> 00:10:40.100
So most people already have to get their hair done, but then it's like I still want you to feel like this is not another duty, another assignment, like this is like this is a rest stop along the journey.

00:10:40.100 --> 00:10:46.092
I can gain a nail service or a barber service and it's like, whew, okay, so now let's get back at it.

00:10:46.092 --> 00:11:00.374
But it's just like a little reprieve from all of life happenings that you can just kind of let your hair down, get your nails done, get some stuff off of you, and then you're able to go back and face life better and more confident.

00:11:01.220 --> 00:11:06.427
Yeah, and I feel that, Like personally, I feel that I saw y'all.

00:11:06.427 --> 00:11:11.006
Yes, yesterday we recorded what's today, sunday, yeah, yeah.

00:11:11.006 --> 00:11:23.971
So yeah, we just I saw him yesterday and um it'd been a couple of weeks and I was, I was, I was feeling it and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna need to get back to the shop because, because, everything that y'all described is true and it takes something, I think.

00:11:23.971 --> 00:11:31.049
I think one of the things I hear a lot of uh people, how long y'all been in business together doing this?

00:11:31.971 --> 00:11:36.004
well, um, often known.

00:11:36.004 --> 00:11:38.649
Yeah, 15 years since 2008.

00:11:38.649 --> 00:11:39.671
Because she would.

00:11:39.711 --> 00:11:56.606
She would be in one shop, I would be at another, and then, but together, just her and I together in 10 years so I I talked to people and part of the reason we that I wanted to do this series is because I just talked to a lot of people that want to, that said they want to start something, build something, you know, for whatever reason.

00:11:56.606 --> 00:12:00.639
Sometimes it's because I don't, I'm tired of working for somebody else.

00:12:00.639 --> 00:12:14.846
Sometimes it's I really have this burn, this passion to to, to serve or whatever, or whatever it is Right, um, and sometimes it's because they got fired and they're like well, I think the next thing I need to do, is do something on my own.

00:12:15.187 --> 00:12:16.730
And so it.

00:12:16.730 --> 00:12:17.472
I think.

00:12:17.472 --> 00:12:19.802
You know, I don't know.

00:12:19.802 --> 00:12:22.687
I wish I had had the percentage of um, of.

00:12:22.687 --> 00:12:27.455
Maybe we can find out what the percentage is of entrepreneurs businesses that fail within a year.

00:12:29.880 --> 00:12:32.350
That's why I knew it was ridiculously high.

00:12:32.350 --> 00:12:42.634
So 85 percent fell in the first year and the extra 10 fell in the next five years, and only 5 percent actually last after 10 years.

00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:44.061
I think that's around 5 percent.

00:12:44.061 --> 00:12:46.625
That's deep, that's deep Y'all really thinking of 5%.

00:12:46.666 --> 00:12:47.246
Mm-hmm, that's deep.

00:12:47.246 --> 00:12:48.448
That's deep.

00:12:48.448 --> 00:12:49.590
You're going to make me cry.

00:12:49.590 --> 00:12:50.130
That's deep.

00:12:50.130 --> 00:12:52.294
Don't you start, then I'm not going to cry.

00:12:54.221 --> 00:13:00.071
But again, I'm not going to cry, yeah.

00:13:00.071 --> 00:13:01.734
That's wild.

00:13:01.793 --> 00:13:02.794
Listen, listen.

00:13:02.794 --> 00:13:04.184
I'm not going to take that.

00:13:04.184 --> 00:13:05.984
So listen, that's.

00:13:05.984 --> 00:13:11.261
That's 10 years of just real talk and it's, it's.

00:13:11.261 --> 00:13:15.107
It's finally clicked this year, though, even though it's been 10 years.

00:13:15.107 --> 00:13:20.956
It finally clicked this year for me mentally.

00:13:20.956 --> 00:13:30.434
It finally clicked this year, so I'm all the more hopeful surviving the 10 year.

00:13:30.434 --> 00:13:37.332
I'm all the more hopeful what the next 10 years is going to be, because it clicked.

00:13:37.332 --> 00:13:39.160
Go ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:39.821 --> 00:13:44.825
And I will say you mentioned about how long.

00:13:44.825 --> 00:13:47.466
And I will say you mentioned about how long, excuse me.

00:13:47.466 --> 00:13:57.174
You mentioned about different people having different reasons for starting a business, and the two words that came to my mind is sometimes out of desperation, sometimes out of inspiration.

00:13:57.174 --> 00:13:59.496
Both of them will produce fruit.

00:13:59.496 --> 00:14:07.068
You know, it's like, OK, I was pushed out of this job and I'm not going to experience that again.

00:14:07.068 --> 00:14:08.254
You know, I don't like how I've been treated.

00:14:08.254 --> 00:14:08.855
I know my worth and my value.

00:14:08.855 --> 00:14:09.720
Now I'm not tolerating it.

00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:15.832
Or it's just hey, I have a dream, I have this inspiration and I want to help make somebody else's life better.

00:14:15.832 --> 00:14:24.615
Whichever way it go, when you come from that place of passion and determination, it will click, it will produce fruit.

00:14:24.615 --> 00:14:28.426
Passion and their determination, it will click, it will produce fruit.

00:14:28.426 --> 00:14:32.038
And the other thing is, with that desperation or inspiration, those years are going to come with sweat and tears.

00:14:32.099 --> 00:14:33.744
You're going to have to sacrifice.

00:14:33.744 --> 00:14:37.135
It's going to be some late night oil burning.

00:14:37.135 --> 00:14:42.668
There's going to be some early morning begging and pleading, asking the Lord for direction.

00:14:42.668 --> 00:14:45.614
So all of that, like it doesn't come with ease.

00:14:45.614 --> 00:14:49.966
The road to entrepreneurship is not one without ease.

00:14:49.966 --> 00:14:52.130
Like it's going to come with some.

00:14:52.130 --> 00:14:54.274
It's going to come with some pain.

00:14:54.274 --> 00:14:57.485
It's not like I remember, not that.

00:14:57.986 --> 00:15:02.460
Anyway, I remember doing one season of Patrick and my, our business.

00:15:02.460 --> 00:15:07.673
It was like it opened up and then it just it was just an intense drought.

00:15:07.673 --> 00:15:15.433
I can remember us laying in the middle of the floor praying and crying, asking the Lord where was the next client coming from?

00:15:15.433 --> 00:15:17.405
We had no idea.

00:15:17.405 --> 00:15:23.267
I'm like we were doing everything right, we was doing the social media stuff, we was doing everything.

00:15:23.267 --> 00:15:36.559
And it came out to the point and I know Patrick probably going probably be shocked that I'm saying this, but I'm so free that to the point that we had to file bankruptcy, like we had to make tough decisions in order to stay alive and survive.

00:15:36.559 --> 00:15:51.452
At that time it was alive and just surviving, but I agree with Patrick now that we didn't move from surviving to a place of thriving, and so, and now we're getting ready to taste of thriving fruit versus surviving fruit.

00:15:51.841 --> 00:16:03.494
So yeah, so I would say, we, the stages, I call it so we're going to the part where we're fighting for the land of more than enough.

00:16:03.494 --> 00:16:07.240
So you have in Egypt, that was not enough, and you have in Egypt, there was not enough.

00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:09.827
And then in the wilderness, it was just enough.

00:16:09.827 --> 00:16:14.586
But to get to the land of more than enough, it took a lot more, it took a fight.

00:16:14.586 --> 00:16:31.735
And so we are, in my opinion, we're entering into this land of more than enough because, again, because it clicked and we've been through all those stages, land of more than enough because, again, because it clicked and we've been through all those stages, and so it's um exciting to see things work themselves out.

00:16:32.116 --> 00:16:35.062
Not to mention she she talked about the filing, the bankruptcy.

00:16:35.062 --> 00:16:38.610
The pandemic happened maybe a year later.

00:16:38.610 --> 00:16:45.652
So after we did that and we was okay, now now the pandemic happened and that threw us off again.

00:16:45.652 --> 00:16:55.812
So from that time to this, that's what I'm saying, I'm seeing the curve, but there was so many, so much disciplines that we learned during that process.

00:16:55.812 --> 00:17:01.788
And, check this out, I'm still On the side, my what they call the pro bono.

00:17:01.950 --> 00:17:14.986
I'm still financial coaching people, my what they call it pro bono, I'm still financial coaching people who are, who are obtaining the success that they want financially, while I'm going through.

00:17:14.986 --> 00:17:35.105
So, while David, while David is in the cave of Abdul, he himself is distressed and distraught, he himself is in debt and in desperation, and yet still, men are still following, or they have come to the cave with him as well, and even in that place, because of he knew who he was, he was still able to help them while he was going through them.

00:17:35.707 --> 00:17:36.268
And you know what?

00:17:36.268 --> 00:17:39.105
All right, we're not taking over your property, it's just me and you should make it.

00:17:39.508 --> 00:17:41.919
This is just a prop, let's go with it.

00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:43.566
I ain't just a prop, let's go with it.

00:17:43.566 --> 00:17:56.681
But you know what?

00:17:56.681 --> 00:17:56.882
I think?

00:17:56.882 --> 00:18:19.164
That I think that God is so amazing and that he will allow us to see the fruit of others thriving, to see how our attitude and how how we will handle that when it's not your turn, but you still give others that gift of life and you get to see, hey, they got a garden and we helped out with them, and so it's like you learn to serve others unselfishly, like it don't have anything to do with me.

00:18:19.164 --> 00:18:20.609
You have to turn back to bless me.

00:18:20.609 --> 00:18:22.184
I just want to know if God work.

00:18:22.184 --> 00:18:23.992
You know, see God work in your life, and so a lot of times he may have you to wait.

00:18:23.992 --> 00:18:29.548
If God worked, you know, see God work in your life, and so a lot of times he may have you to wait because he knows that you really believe him.

00:18:29.548 --> 00:18:35.108
But let me give you proof in somebody else's life, so now it'll really show up.

00:18:35.189 --> 00:18:55.554
You know it's like this Because what you just said I think that is a huge unlearning that people who are striving for success have to do right Is unlearning that success for you means it's about you.

00:18:55.554 --> 00:18:59.269
It might not be right.

00:18:59.660 --> 00:19:05.788
Success for you might mean it's about somebody else and I think that's such a man.

00:19:05.788 --> 00:19:06.779
That's a hump, that's a.

00:19:06.779 --> 00:19:16.886
I can't imagine, pat, when you, you know you, you are coaching people financially who are doing better than you are Right Financially.

00:19:16.886 --> 00:19:20.192
There's something to that Right.

00:19:20.192 --> 00:19:21.755
I think that's.

00:19:21.755 --> 00:19:24.909
It's beautiful, but I can only imagine it's frustrating.

00:19:26.900 --> 00:19:29.082
It has to be frustrating.

00:19:29.082 --> 00:19:48.570
Yeah, I was talking to some of the people and I said, within a year or two, their credit scores are 740 to 760, from in the low 600s, and their credit scores are better than mine and I'm like how?

00:19:48.570 --> 00:19:52.671
Your credit score better than my credit score, like what?

00:19:52.671 --> 00:19:55.859
What they do that so, but but it was still.

00:19:55.859 --> 00:20:01.755
It was still confident and it was uh, um, not where.

00:20:01.755 --> 00:20:12.630
It's not refreshing, it was rewarding to know that these yeah, these biblical, and I only taught them from what I learned from the Bible, that these biblical principles help.

00:20:13.010 --> 00:20:15.786
So it was like, let me catch you before you get into my position.

00:20:15.786 --> 00:20:25.940
I want to catch you so you'll never have to get in the position that I am, because, even though I was working from a deficit, I learned these biblical principles.

00:20:25.940 --> 00:20:31.525
That typically people wait till they're successful, then they teach them, and that was a part of me as well.

00:20:31.525 --> 00:20:36.229
I was like, okay, I don't have the, I don't, it doesn't look, but I know this works.

00:20:36.229 --> 00:20:42.584
I'm looking at the word of God and I'm like, okay, god, this is a biblical principle that can be applied to anybody.

00:20:42.584 --> 00:20:45.471
I want to give them, give it to them now.

00:20:45.471 --> 00:20:54.765
Since I got it, let me show them now.

00:20:54.765 --> 00:20:55.688
And they've applied it.

00:20:55.688 --> 00:20:57.814
It's worked, and it's worked in my life as well to help me out of the deficit.

00:20:57.814 --> 00:20:59.156
Uh, why they are being elevated?

00:20:59.180 --> 00:21:08.040
So yeah it is frustrating but, um, my wife, who's my cheer cheerleader, my number one cheerleader, uh, continue to encourage me, to let me know.

00:21:08.040 --> 00:21:23.201
Hey, it's gonna work out for you to just keep going and to be happy and be excited that people are listening to you and it's working yeah, that's so I want to, because we've talked about several different things.

00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:29.141
so y'all need to know you know'm going to go ahead and term y'all serial entrepreneurs, that's.

00:21:29.141 --> 00:21:38.248
That's kind of who you are, you've got so so so talk to us about all the different things that you do, right, the ways that you're monetizing your gifts.

00:21:38.248 --> 00:21:39.290
What are they?

00:21:44.520 --> 00:21:50.952
So we would do in terms of things that we're just so good, this all right, so all right.

00:21:50.952 --> 00:21:58.154
So so we have barbering and, uh, coaching and and life insurance.

00:21:58.154 --> 00:22:01.001
Now, all right, hold on, wait a minute and and.

00:22:01.001 --> 00:22:02.685
Authoring oh on.

00:22:02.705 --> 00:22:03.667
Who's an author?

00:22:03.667 --> 00:22:04.068
Come on.

00:22:04.068 --> 00:22:07.487
Come on, because I got a portfolio, let's go.

00:22:09.603 --> 00:22:11.903
So you got manicuring and then all of that.

00:22:11.903 --> 00:22:12.926
But here's the thing.

00:22:12.926 --> 00:22:16.423
So just work with me and we can debate.

00:22:16.423 --> 00:22:18.000
We can debate about this, all right.

00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:21.964
So in the beginning she said come on, let's debate In the beginning.

00:22:21.964 --> 00:22:23.519
In the beginning there's a preacher.

00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:26.166
He was trying to say in the beginning, patrick said focus All right.

00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:35.273
So in the beginning, our focus was not trying to make a lot of money.

00:22:35.273 --> 00:22:46.098
Our focus was, in this entrepreneur route, we want to make sure that we focus mostly on building the relationship with our children.

00:22:46.098 --> 00:23:06.342
We'll make the money that we need to, but we're not going to focus on making so much money, because you're taught that there's a sacrifice that has to be made, and so, for us, the sacrifice was building this, what they would call a extremely successful business.

00:23:06.342 --> 00:23:19.911
So, and actually we put in effort to make the business successful enough where we didn't have to sacrifice the relationship of our children, because we were told you can't like, something happens.

00:23:19.911 --> 00:23:23.942
And I've seen people who will say you know, you just got to sacrifice your family.

00:23:23.942 --> 00:23:27.619
There are times you just got to sacrifice your family to make the business work, all right.

00:23:27.619 --> 00:23:34.323
So so this, this is hear me out and so the term that they would use is jack of all trades.

00:23:34.323 --> 00:23:36.777
I mean jack of all trades, master of none, all right.

00:23:36.777 --> 00:23:38.040
And so we see you can't be a jack of all trades.

00:23:38.040 --> 00:23:39.707
I mean Jack of all trades, master of none, all right.

00:23:39.707 --> 00:23:41.172
And so we say you can't be a Jack of all trades.

00:23:41.172 --> 00:23:43.238
If you're a Jack of all trades, you'll be a master of none.

00:23:43.238 --> 00:23:45.712
Therefore, you have to just focus on one thing at a time.

00:23:45.712 --> 00:23:46.433
Is that right?

00:23:46.433 --> 00:23:54.113
But actuality, the whole quote is Jack of all trade is a master of none.

00:23:54.113 --> 00:23:57.939
Oftentimes it's better than being the master of one.

00:23:57.939 --> 00:24:02.670
Jack of all trade is a master of none.

00:24:02.670 --> 00:24:07.416
Oftentimes is better than being the master of one.

00:24:08.699 --> 00:24:15.673
So we always tell about how the brain, or your mind, can do everything.

00:24:15.673 --> 00:24:23.438
In the book Rich Dad, poor Dad, he says his rich dad told him never say I can't afford, always ask how can I afford?

00:24:23.438 --> 00:24:29.277
So throughout the years we've always taught people that you can't have both.

00:24:29.277 --> 00:24:32.801
Like you can't have a successful business and a successful family.

00:24:32.801 --> 00:24:39.103
Something has to be Not me and you, but others Right, but something has to be sacrificed to the point that da, da, da, da, da.

00:24:39.103 --> 00:25:22.938
But my question is and this is just like a month ago my question is have we stifled our heart To to the point where we've we've introduced or we've consistently taught over and over again people that they can only do one thing at a time in order to be successful, because we've closed the mind to say you can't do, you can't have a very successful, and success is relative, you can't have a successful business and a successful this and you can't do all of that at the same time, and so, because people have taken that and ran with it and bought into it, we've closed the mind on what it can do.

00:25:22.938 --> 00:25:33.825
So then my thought process is how can you have both successful at the same time?

00:25:33.825 --> 00:25:40.273
How can you have a successful family and a successful business, rather than saying sometimes you have to.

00:25:40.273 --> 00:25:48.420
Now, I know there's a level of success, but a lot of times people you know the first, you know he's never there for his children on the weekend.

00:25:48.420 --> 00:25:52.060
I spend a lot of time away from my wife and just part of the game.

00:25:52.060 --> 00:25:52.984
You just have to do that.

00:25:52.984 --> 00:25:56.855
But is it really like, does it really have to be that?

00:25:56.855 --> 00:26:01.044
I'm going to make this with my last point and I'm going to say why I believe it and then I'm going to be done?

00:26:03.730 --> 00:26:12.025
There was a guy and I think it's a true story that the teacher wrote on the boat on the board to unsolvable statistic problems.

00:26:12.025 --> 00:26:24.823
The guy missed the class and so when he gets to the class now, the teacher told him in 20 years, no one has ever in the history of statistics, no one has ever been able to solve these two statistic problems.

00:26:24.823 --> 00:26:31.472
The young man is late for class, so all he sees these two problems on the board he writes them down.

00:26:31.472 --> 00:26:34.520
He goes home because he knows this is homework for him.

00:26:34.520 --> 00:26:50.944
So that means he has to now come like he doesn't want to show up for class and not have the homework done Because he did not hear the negative that no one has ever solved these statistics problems ever in the history of statistics.

00:26:50.944 --> 00:26:56.997
He solved both problems that were there, were, quote unquote, unsolvable.

00:26:56.997 --> 00:26:57.538
Why?

00:26:57.538 --> 00:27:04.165
Because he never heard the years of what you couldn't do.

00:27:04.165 --> 00:27:07.535
He just knew I needed to get this done.

00:27:08.176 --> 00:27:17.717
So for me, the thing that I would say I'm trying to now unlearn is how do I teach the people that you don't have to?

00:27:17.717 --> 00:27:34.497
Is how do I teach the people that you don't have to sacrifice your family and build a successful business, that you can if you want to build a successful business and have a successful family at the same time.

00:27:34.497 --> 00:27:40.391
So all of the things that we we did throughout the past, it's been an exchange like do this, do this, do this and do this and do this and do this.

00:27:40.391 --> 00:27:53.260
But I think, if great time management, great time management and intentionality can allow all of those things to be successful in its own right.

00:27:53.260 --> 00:27:54.022
You know what I'm saying Now.

00:27:54.022 --> 00:27:55.311
That's the biggest part.

00:27:55.332 --> 00:28:00.431
So, honestly, I think I have a few thoughts that came to mind when you're talking.

00:28:00.431 --> 00:28:15.440
I think, first of all, there has to be a, a definition of success that you, you subscribe to, right, um so okay if I'm looking at you all, you're in the five percent of businesses that last more than 10 years.

00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:24.258
You are successful, you have a home, you have food, you have a shop, you have vehicles.

00:28:24.258 --> 00:28:25.842
You have all the things you need to live.

00:28:28.256 --> 00:28:28.917
To me.

00:28:28.978 --> 00:28:37.642
if I'm just looking at just I'm going to put a label on something I would say, yeah, you're successful and you have an incredible family relationship.

00:28:37.642 --> 00:28:42.461
So if I'm looking at it, I would say that you proved your own point wrong.

00:28:42.461 --> 00:28:45.417
You have done your own point by your life.

00:28:45.417 --> 00:28:50.799
But I mean, it depends on your definition of success.

00:28:50.799 --> 00:29:04.625
Now, if your definition of success is I want 10 chairs and I want you know I want 10, you know employees and I want a building, whatever right All that stuff.

00:29:04.971 --> 00:29:07.170
I want 20 clients for coaching or whatever.

00:29:07.170 --> 00:29:21.261
I want to grow the thing, if that's your definition of success, then I think then it's a matter of asking yourself the question, like Rich Dad did right Now, I can't do it, how can I do?

00:29:21.261 --> 00:29:24.497
It and now you're like all right, this is what I want.

00:29:24.497 --> 00:29:27.530
How do we get there without sacrificing our relationships?

00:29:27.550 --> 00:29:33.888
with our kids I don't know right you know, and my, my parents are different.

00:29:33.888 --> 00:29:36.516
I mean they, they definitely are entrepreneurial.

00:29:36.516 --> 00:29:38.862
My, he's an entrepreneurial dude.

00:29:38.862 --> 00:29:48.936
He doesn't live in that world technically but the way he has kind of moved has been in those ways he's been an entrepreneur before.

00:29:48.936 --> 00:30:04.817
I don't feel slighted by that as somebody who grew up in a home where home, where I didn't I mean he was, he was, he was doing his thing like I.

00:30:04.817 --> 00:30:09.090
You know he was around obviously and he was with us and he raised us and all this.

00:30:09.090 --> 00:30:15.031
But we saw him before, um, and you know, but still have a great relationship with him and I do.

00:30:15.031 --> 00:30:36.859
But I do remember seasons where it was not a whole lot that we saw of dad because we knew he was working seasonal, right, and then you get older and you start to experience different things and you have different um, rhythms of life and all that stuff, and I never felt that that was an issue, um, but I do hear what you're saying.

00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:46.614
When it comes to like, a lot of people feel like they have to choose, but I think it's more so because we don't define success, like, what does that mean?

00:30:46.614 --> 00:30:47.276
Right?

00:30:47.276 --> 00:30:53.095
I mean this is I want to be a multimillionaire, then yeah, maybe you're going to have to.

00:30:53.695 --> 00:31:07.165
You know, some things happen along the way you know some things have happened along the way, but do you really have to or have we just accepted that because that's what people have told us throughout the years?

00:31:07.165 --> 00:31:15.144
I remember this I don't want to say the name, but there was a guy interviewing a young lady and her business is successful.

00:31:15.144 --> 00:31:22.763
And she said she had to give up her marriage to make her business be successful.

00:31:22.763 --> 00:31:24.032
And I'm like what?

00:31:24.032 --> 00:31:26.397
And so I'm like well, why, like why?

00:31:26.397 --> 00:31:28.001
And I remember asking my wife one time.

00:31:28.001 --> 00:31:33.663
I said baby, can you, can you have a successful business and successful marriage at the same time?

00:31:33.663 --> 00:31:35.253
Because we've been told we couldn't.

00:31:35.253 --> 00:31:36.435
This was just last year.

00:31:36.435 --> 00:31:37.198
I asked the question.

00:31:37.198 --> 00:31:41.952
She said, yeah, because my wife is optimistic, she's hopeful about everything.

00:31:41.952 --> 00:31:47.594
She said, yes, but I'm like but we've been told you can't be very successful.

00:31:48.416 --> 00:32:00.772
I'm going through, and then I was looking at the quote and I read the quote in Forbes where it was talking about Jack, of all trades, a master of none, it better be a master of one.

00:32:00.772 --> 00:32:02.056
And I said wait a minute.

00:32:02.056 --> 00:32:06.631
They've used this quote and used the quote wrong.

00:32:06.631 --> 00:32:09.234
What if the quote was used right?

00:32:09.234 --> 00:32:20.815
How many more people would properly juggle or my wife would properly balance and blend everything to, to where nothing has to.

00:32:20.815 --> 00:32:28.655
And again, I understand the sacrifice and everything, but there's not a major sacrifice where people, uh, where the business or the family.

00:32:29.372 --> 00:32:29.952
What do you think so?

00:32:34.933 --> 00:32:37.855
um, when it, when it comes with, wait a minute.

00:32:37.855 --> 00:32:39.796
First of all, I want to tell you thank you.

00:32:39.796 --> 00:32:51.066
I had an Abraham moment when you was just sharing about you know you have a home, you have a marriage, you have a family and it's a thriving working family.

00:32:51.066 --> 00:33:13.794
You know, like we actually like each other, we actually do life for real with each other Vehicles, like you said, meals, like you have all of that, and it was just like a look up, like you really are at the top, like you already in a breathtaking space, and so thank you for bringing that to my attention.

00:33:13.794 --> 00:33:29.406
Um, I, I, I would say that once you, once you define the value like your values, and what is of worth to you, you make it work.

00:33:29.406 --> 00:34:00.219
You do whatever it takes to make it work, and I think that because we prioritize and we place so much value on our marriage and our children, having us there, as well as setting a standard of expectation and not wanting to be hypocritical and saying you do while we sit on the sideline, no, it's like, while you're doing your homework, we're doing this business work too.

00:34:00.219 --> 00:34:13.581
So they had the opportunity to see us grind at different seasons in the business and we didn't hide anything, and so I think that that's what I would say.

00:34:13.581 --> 00:34:22.677
That's probably what a serial entrepreneurship came in, because in this season, let's say, if a child is graduating, like the finances have to come in.

00:34:22.677 --> 00:34:29.880
So you may find me doing mary cake, right, you may find me baking caramel cakes, like we're gonna figure it out.

00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:43.099
Like, when I look back, it's so many things that we have had to do to make sure that what the what, what the assignment was, it had the answer, because we know the scripture tell us that money answers all things.

00:34:43.099 --> 00:34:52.771
So it's like if they need the high school dude, you know the graduation dudes, then we have to figure it out, and we were not willing to.

00:34:54.213 --> 00:34:55.976
I know, for me I was not.

00:34:55.976 --> 00:35:02.405
Well, patrick too, because I say that because I was the one that experienced being a latchkey child.

00:35:02.405 --> 00:35:20.967
That's why I said that, patrick, you didn't really experience that, but I just that was one of the things that I was determined, that I did not want our children to experience, where they had to assume my role as their mother, or the role of being a father or protector or whatever.

00:35:20.967 --> 00:35:29.918
Like no, that's your dad's role, and so that was one of the things that we were determined that we were not going to give any wiggle room to.

00:35:29.918 --> 00:35:34.769
It's like, no, we're going to be present, not helicopter them, but that we were going to be involved.

00:35:35.010 --> 00:35:47.737
And we figured out like this is this really would let us on a road to entrepreneurship, because employment at the time would be restricted to what we value and you can't make a job.

00:35:47.737 --> 00:35:50.795
Excuse me, patrick, you can't make someone else value.

00:35:50.795 --> 00:35:52.922
You know what it is like.

00:35:52.922 --> 00:35:53.610
You're not going.

00:35:53.610 --> 00:35:59.414
I mean, I know that you care about Patrick, you love him, but you can't love him the way I do, like your children.

00:35:59.434 --> 00:36:00.858
I like what like this about values.

00:36:00.858 --> 00:36:04.356
I think you hit the nail on the head, like if it all depends.

00:36:04.356 --> 00:36:12.280
You have to define that, because that's gonna drive your decision, it's gonna drive how you become successful, whatever that means.

00:36:12.280 --> 00:36:22.981
And I think if you have to, if you have defined what your values are as individuals or as a family, then you honor those values by doing things.

00:36:22.981 --> 00:36:40.663
You know, you do things to honor those values and success is that Success becomes we're honoring our values and then you know whatever the fruit of that is is what it is, and I think you all are perfect examples of so.

00:36:41.105 --> 00:36:47.695
I, and if you don't, if you don't want to go here, it's cool, we cut it out, but I want to.

00:36:47.695 --> 00:36:55.092
I want to ask y'all to be a little vulnerable, because we talked about this in the shop before and I thought it was one of the most profound things that we were just.

00:36:55.092 --> 00:36:58.657
We were just sharing because we were kind of talking about um.

00:36:58.657 --> 00:37:05.472
So I'll talk about a little bit about her wife, her husband, her, his wife her husband there it is, got it, I got it.

00:37:06.092 --> 00:37:42.567
Y'all like they got a whole thing, um, so it's pockets that they have and it's the name of their coaching business, and I think we were talking one time about the power, at least, that I see, and the uniqueness of who you are, who your story, how do I want to say this, how your story can impact people, because a lot of people I think, pat, you alluded to this earlier want to wait until they have all the things and have the ideal before they start teaching and before they start sharing.

00:37:43.809 --> 00:38:04.661
And you know we have had so many conversations about like yeah, we, we, we just regular, like we ain't out here in no man's land or driving Bentley's and whatever car you would prefer to drive than the one you have, like you know, like we ain't out here with that, you know we don't take vacations to.

00:38:04.661 --> 00:38:07.802
You know, all these different places across the country and all that.

00:38:07.802 --> 00:38:18.840
That's what we do, but the reality is most people don't, and so vast majority I think we think we have so many like.

00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:35.016
We see all this stuff online and social media, and even people that are pushing their services lead with what they have and I don't feel like you all do that, and I think that's it makes you much more.

00:38:35.619 --> 00:38:37.802
it makes what you have much more attainable.

00:38:37.802 --> 00:38:40.005
You know what?

00:38:40.005 --> 00:38:46.804
I'm saying and it's like we can have an amazing life and not have to fly private.

00:38:46.804 --> 00:38:48.538
It's not necessary.

00:38:48.778 --> 00:38:49.302
You know what?

00:38:49.322 --> 00:38:57.862
I'm saying I want to talk about that Because when people build stuff they have this sometimes unrealistic expectations on where it's going to take me.

00:38:57.862 --> 00:39:04.733
But y'all are in the 5% now, 95% of people on a wheel start are no longer there, and you are not.

00:39:04.733 --> 00:39:08.197
You don't fly private, so let's talk about that dynamic.

00:39:08.197 --> 00:39:09.936
I want to hear what you think.

00:39:13.811 --> 00:39:14.512
Who do you want to talk first?

00:39:14.512 --> 00:39:15.014
Go Shamika, Me or Petra.

00:39:15.014 --> 00:39:16.297
Go Shamika, who you want to talk first?

00:39:16.318 --> 00:39:17.581
Go Shameika Me or Patrick.

00:39:25.054 --> 00:39:25.655
Go Shameika.

00:39:25.655 --> 00:39:48.815
That is so loaded and I'm trying to figure out how I want to approach it, because I think that once you make the decision to not let the world determine again going back to those values like you don't get to tell me that I'm finally somebody because I fly private.

00:39:48.815 --> 00:39:51.340
No, I'm somebody, even from right here.

00:39:51.340 --> 00:39:54.532
I may have to work through where I am and that's one of the hard beats.

00:39:54.532 --> 00:39:59.672
It's like from from where I am, can I experience this good success To me.

00:39:59.672 --> 00:40:03.442
That gives more validity to the word of God being true.

00:40:03.442 --> 00:40:10.744
You mean to tell me that I can have a rich, fulfilling life and marriage and I didn't have to travel overseas to get it.

00:40:10.744 --> 00:40:21.929
It's like, yeah, like you mean to tell me that you and Patrick really enjoy each other, just going to Starbucks in Kroger, to tell me that you and Patrick really enjoy each other just going to Starbucks and Kroger?

00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:29.702
Yes, we actually do so.

00:40:29.702 --> 00:40:30.706
It's those things it's like.

00:40:30.706 --> 00:40:40.925
Once you determine that, it's like if I am just let me say it like this Like you said being vulnerable, patrick and I have enjoyed each other when we were broke, busted and disgusting.

00:40:40.925 --> 00:40:43.817
At one point in my life I didn't even have proper clothes.

00:40:43.817 --> 00:40:46.038
I had to wear some of Patrick's clothes.

00:40:46.038 --> 00:40:53.416
We had to ride the bus together when the cars broke down.

00:40:53.416 --> 00:40:55.717
It's like well come on.

00:40:56.771 --> 00:40:57.523
But guess what?

00:40:57.523 --> 00:41:01.300
I wouldn't have wanted to do it with anybody else in this life.

00:41:01.300 --> 00:41:03.472
I just wouldn't.

00:41:03.472 --> 00:41:17.447
And so the hope is, if we can endure these hard places, surely there will come a time when we will be able to enjoy those whatever seemingly good places.

00:41:17.447 --> 00:41:20.731
Enjoy those whatever seemingly good places.

00:41:20.731 --> 00:41:25.681
But I still would want it to be somewhere that we decided we wanted to do, versus someone projecting on us what it is that you have to do.

00:41:25.681 --> 00:41:28.875
And so, after this, then I'll be finished.

00:41:28.875 --> 00:42:06.884
But I would say, if I could, if I could speak to any entrepreneur, whether they are individual or a couple, it would be really quiet yourself to hear and see what it is that you know, that you feel passionate about, because that's what, that's what's the knowledge, the understanding to find the mentor, to keep looking for the opportunity, to not give up so that you can experience goodness right where you are.

00:42:09.911 --> 00:42:11.496
I don't have anything to say.

00:42:11.576 --> 00:42:18.778
Okay, I want to push a little bit more, because you know that's what I do and I love y'all y'all.

00:42:18.898 --> 00:42:19.260
So.

00:42:19.260 --> 00:42:33.900
So let's talk about I would love for you to kind of describe and and I want to do it for a reason describe, like you were saying, at some point y'all were riding the bus with groceries.

00:42:33.900 --> 00:42:38.177
At some point you were um, wearing patrick's clothes.

00:42:38.177 --> 00:42:39.367
You know what?

00:42:39.367 --> 00:42:40.994
What other things did you expect?

00:42:40.994 --> 00:43:08.594
Talk about where you came from in this journey of of being entrepreneurs and like, what that's like and you are, and some of the, some of the some of the frustration about being grateful for you are, but would like to be further hmm, wow, patrick think ask the

00:43:08.634 --> 00:43:30.818
question where you've been, like as entrepreneurs in the tough kind of describe that tough space right and then talk about where you are now and kind of, where's the where's the distance between where you were and where you are, and is it where you want to be?

00:43:33.592 --> 00:43:33.813
okay.

00:43:33.833 --> 00:43:36.715
Patrick, you remember the question can I go, can I, can you tag?

00:43:36.755 --> 00:43:37.195
me Can.

00:43:37.235 --> 00:43:39.036
I go, ok, great.

00:43:39.036 --> 00:43:44.161
I remember starting out as an entrepreneur.

00:43:44.161 --> 00:43:45.463
I remember the journey.

00:43:45.463 --> 00:43:49.827
I had a desire, but I can't say that I really believed in myself.

00:43:49.827 --> 00:44:01.112
I didn't believe that it could happen.

00:44:01.112 --> 00:44:01.572
But then it was a.

00:44:01.572 --> 00:44:04.739
It was a woman that came in our life and she said you're going to be fine.

00:44:04.739 --> 00:44:05.440
And yeah, come on.

00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:08.585
So she made space for me to begin the process of stretching the wing.

00:44:08.585 --> 00:44:13.559
And then, as we evolved, then Patrick and I was like well, let's do this together.

00:44:14.182 --> 00:44:18.056
So then we had to evolve and go through that, and can I tell you it was head bumping.

00:44:18.056 --> 00:44:18.659
You know why?

00:44:18.659 --> 00:44:24.242
Because I was brought up in a single parent household and a woman keep the money in her pocket, amen.

00:44:24.242 --> 00:44:28.309
But now it's like, no, we don't put it in a pot together.

00:44:28.309 --> 00:44:35.744
And so now you have to go through the level of believing and even trusting, because this is another deeper level.

00:44:35.744 --> 00:44:41.155
Like I am coming to know Patrick not just as a husband, but now as a business partner.

00:44:41.898 --> 00:44:48.036
Um and so that has been a journey and I can't say that there wasn't without head bumping and frustrating.

00:44:48.036 --> 00:44:50.342
And like I don't like this budget stuff.

00:44:50.342 --> 00:45:06.132
Like I, just when I see the money, I want to spend it now and him having to having to talk me down and say, hey, hey, wait, wait, you know we're doing right by the money, like this is not the season for you to spend like it.

00:45:06.132 --> 00:45:07.452
And so then it was something else.

00:45:07.452 --> 00:45:31.054
I was getting ready to say, oh, and so now I can say that we're at a place where it's like we finally believe that it can happen and that it will happen for us, when at one point we was just kind of on the dreams of like people believing in us.

00:45:31.054 --> 00:45:38.836
But it's like now we believe like, yeah, we are doing something to help other other people out, like you can grow and develop.

00:45:38.916 --> 00:45:45.679
Like it really worked for real, and I can use my, we can use our story as proof that it does.

00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:49.474
But we also have a portfolio of other people that it has worked for.

00:45:49.474 --> 00:45:54.931
So it's not just like we just trying to talk it up like no, it's for real.

00:45:54.931 --> 00:45:58.822
And even if you are, can I be transparent a little more?

00:45:58.822 --> 00:46:15.612
Even if you're living in a nine hundred ninety square foot house with seven people at one point, it works and everybody has enough space and everybody has plenty, even if there were times when Patrick and I have had to share a sandwich, but guess what?

00:46:15.612 --> 00:46:20.262
Again, I would rather share it with you than to be by myself.

00:46:20.262 --> 00:46:22.655
Okay, go catch a tag.

00:46:24.172 --> 00:46:28.916
A lot of things happen that during the struggle we didn't have discipline.

00:46:28.916 --> 00:46:42.090
So you have the struggle, you have the money that's not there, or it's really there, but you're not disciplined enough to do right with it.

00:46:42.090 --> 00:46:56.708
So for Shamika, the reason why I don't even call it a budget plan, I call it a spending plan because you're still spending the money and for some reason the psyche just likes that better.

00:46:56.708 --> 00:46:59.420
So for her, she likes the spending plane.

00:46:59.420 --> 00:47:03.612
So now there's this spending.

00:47:03.612 --> 00:47:06.601
Now I could I'm gonna keep it a book and just hit me now that you can see it.

00:47:06.601 --> 00:47:20.498
A lot of the reason why I'm so headstrong on coming up with financial things is because of how my wife grew up and felt so like here's here's the thing.

00:47:20.759 --> 00:47:21.501
Don't you cry, patrick.

00:47:21.501 --> 00:47:34.931
Here's the thing for me to try to solve an issue that my wife has struggled with for years, and I don't want her to be in that struggle anymore, or I don't want her to have that thought process anymore.

00:47:34.971 --> 00:47:53.677
So I'm figuring all these things out for her in the beginning, and then it became something to pass down to my children, because I just believe, when the scripture says a man will leave an inheritance to his children's children, that the true inheritance would be wisdom and not things, because wisdom will give you long life, riches and honor.

00:47:53.677 --> 00:47:55.501
So you get all of that once you get the wisdom.

00:47:55.501 --> 00:48:07.820
So in the beginning we didn't have discipline, nor did we not have, nor did we have this biblical spending plan that God showed me.

00:48:07.820 --> 00:48:09.201
That I just saw in the scriptures.

00:48:09.201 --> 00:48:22.409
So just like anything, if you so, belichick, when they was playing Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl, they were down like 20 some points.

00:48:22.409 --> 00:48:27.311
And so the reporter said so what kind of change did you make in the third quarter?

00:48:27.311 --> 00:48:37.358
To turn this thing around, belichick said I didn't make changes in the third quarter.

00:48:37.358 --> 00:48:39.262
I made changes in the first quarter, but it didn't show up until late in the third quarter.

00:48:39.282 --> 00:48:45.260
So there were changes that we've made and we're making that it didn't show up.

00:48:45.260 --> 00:48:50.858
And then we had like some fumbles with the business just going down and pandemic happening.

00:48:50.858 --> 00:48:57.894
But we kept, we're still applying those principles and now, because of the bankruptcy.

00:48:57.894 --> 00:49:02.768
There's a discipline that we have now that all of it.

00:49:02.768 --> 00:49:15.663
Now, like I said, this year is probably the first year I'm seeing this thing turn around and it's like all the things that we're looking for, asking for, it's just kind of fall, but it's not really falling.

00:49:15.663 --> 00:49:25.284
It's because we've, throughout the years, created a discipline and created principle that now God is for me.

00:49:25.284 --> 00:49:27.217
God is like you're ready for it.

00:49:27.217 --> 00:49:27.980
You know what?

00:49:28.001 --> 00:49:29.304
I'm saying Wait, patrick, okay, go ahead.

00:49:29.304 --> 00:49:30.739
A word came to my mind.

00:49:30.739 --> 00:49:43.047
It would be we were applying compound disciplines, because it's one discipline on top of another discipline on top of another discipline on top and before you know it, your due season come.

00:49:43.047 --> 00:49:51.059
But it's through every season you applying a new principle, you trying it out, you figuring out, you adding you, and then look asking for help.

00:49:51.059 --> 00:50:02.963
All of them, all of that, keep adding pressure and pressure that at some point, the way life is designed seed time, harvest the fruit has to show up.

00:50:04.846 --> 00:50:06.438
Oh man, I'm going to forget it.

00:50:06.438 --> 00:50:10.463
So yeah, if y'all saw me looking over, that's because Ty was just walking through the door and he didn't realize.

00:50:10.463 --> 00:50:15.039
But he's reading a book and we were listening.

00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:16.538
We were listening to it on audiobook.

00:50:16.538 --> 00:50:18.260
Um, we went to the car.

00:50:18.260 --> 00:50:21.708
It's called um the habit.

00:50:21.708 --> 00:50:23.070
What is it?

00:50:23.070 --> 00:50:32.822
Uh, it's about habits, and I think the guy's name is adam something it's not atomic habits.

00:50:32.822 --> 00:50:33.682
What's the author's name?

00:50:35.726 --> 00:50:36.146
I don't know.

00:50:36.146 --> 00:50:37.248
It's on my, it's in my.

00:50:37.248 --> 00:50:39.840
What you?

00:50:39.860 --> 00:50:47.277
said he calls it habit stacking where it's so, you, you, you said I mean it's exactly, and he called it habit stacking.

00:50:47.277 --> 00:50:55.041
And it's like you know, the best way to build a, one of the best strategies to build new habits is to stack it on top of another habit.

00:50:55.581 --> 00:50:58.266
So is that, james Clear?

00:50:58.666 --> 00:50:59.809
Sure, I don't know.

00:50:59.809 --> 00:51:04.943
I thought it was Adam, it's James Clear, it's James Clear.

00:51:04.943 --> 00:51:05.907
Sorry, mr Clear.

00:51:05.907 --> 00:51:19.264
Okay, so what he talks about is like we have these habits or disciplines that we want to build, and he said sometimes the best way to to do that is to build on top of another.

00:51:19.264 --> 00:51:27.891
He gave his example of like you know, all right, I already, um, when I get, I'm gonna make one up.

00:51:28.231 --> 00:51:30.737
Like when I get in the car, the little things you didn't realize is a habit.

00:51:30.737 --> 00:51:32.679
You get in the car, you take your keys out, you start the car.

00:51:32.679 --> 00:51:33.481
That's a habit.

00:51:33.481 --> 00:51:43.021
You don't think about what it is, and let's say that when you do that, you want to start listening to more podcasts.

00:51:43.021 --> 00:51:45.648
You want to start listening to more podcasts, less music, cool.

00:51:46.215 --> 00:51:57.918
So now, instead of just saying I'm going to start listening to more podcasts and creating a whole nother rhythm of life to do that, attach it to a habit you already are doing, naturally, right?

00:51:58.300 --> 00:52:10.920
So I start the car and then I'm going to turn on my podcast because, instead of saying at this random time in the middle of the day that I don't normally do anything, I'm going to start something new.

00:52:10.920 --> 00:52:16.557
You're much less likely to follow through with that than it is if you do it right behind something you're already doing.

00:52:16.557 --> 00:52:20.045
So it's this habit stacking strategy that is.

00:52:20.045 --> 00:52:29.657
And so, to your point, when you're talking about even being forced into something like bankruptcy, you're being forced into being more disciplined.

00:52:29.657 --> 00:52:35.188
The best way to build on that is to okay what, what is the next thing we want to do?

00:52:35.188 --> 00:52:47.079
And how does the, how do those disciplines compound and how can we just make it happen from kind of, from those things that are more natural to what we're doing?

00:52:47.079 --> 00:52:50.527
And we built it out of, out of need.

00:52:50.527 --> 00:52:56.804
And now let's take that and attach another habit or discipline right next to it.

00:52:56.804 --> 00:53:05.367
Um, it's a, it's really, really, it's like yo, that's brilliant yeah, another book that you know in line

00:53:05.387 --> 00:53:05.688
with that.

00:53:05.688 --> 00:53:10.599
It's called a comp, it's called a compound effect by darren hardy.

00:53:10.599 --> 00:53:15.643
That's another book that kind of that's another book that kind of relates to each other.

00:53:15.643 --> 00:53:16.844
Go ahead.

00:53:16.864 --> 00:53:20.166
Shana, to go to what you were saying, even with the bankruptcy.

00:53:20.166 --> 00:53:22.349
Now, patrick was sharing with you all that.

00:53:22.349 --> 00:53:25.931
You know I didn't like the word budget and the spending.

00:53:25.931 --> 00:53:39.963
Little did I know that I needed to go through that hard course of financial discipline through bankruptcy.

00:53:39.963 --> 00:53:40.965
Because, because it wasn't, it was not.

00:53:40.965 --> 00:53:48.324
I will say the disclaimer is the bankruptcy was not due to consumer debt, correct, it was not because of frivolous like just right trying to impress anybody.

00:53:48.324 --> 00:53:51.175
It was just that the business was beginning to.

00:53:51.858 --> 00:54:05.014
You know collapse the business just died yeah and so that was the route that we had to take, right in order, excuse me, or the route that we had to take in order to experience it.

00:54:05.014 --> 00:54:19.516
But now I'm I'm gonna take, I'm gonna go this route, because this is what's been near and dear on my heart and I didn't realize it until here recently, that it's like okay, god, I get it now.

00:54:19.516 --> 00:54:29.661
So sometimes we will have to experience disappointments before we can experience the expectation that we wanted.

00:54:29.661 --> 00:54:32.648
Would I have signed up for bankruptcy?

00:54:32.648 --> 00:54:34.617
Like no, nobody wants to go through that.

00:54:34.617 --> 00:54:36.382
I'm just going to be honest.

00:54:36.422 --> 00:54:37.463
It was humiliating.

00:54:37.463 --> 00:54:39.527
It was like your name is stained.

00:54:39.527 --> 00:54:56.135
It's just like oh, but what I learned through that is, if you can do that because we made accommodations and adjustments for that obligation, then what other obligation can you do and have done?

00:54:56.135 --> 00:55:04.570
But I don't think that if we hadn't gone through bankruptcy university, that I would have got the degree to know how to handle my money.

00:55:04.570 --> 00:55:10.063
So now you go from bankruptcy to now establishing trust.

00:55:10.063 --> 00:55:11.246
Are you kidding me?

00:55:11.246 --> 00:55:12.289
Like, give me that.

00:55:12.289 --> 00:55:15.277
You mean to tell me that I can have that Now?

00:55:15.277 --> 00:55:20.047
We had to cry, we had to deny some things, we couldn't go everywhere with everybody.

00:55:20.047 --> 00:55:24.123
Hey, and that's OK for this lesson that I got.

00:55:24.123 --> 00:55:26.128
Oh, that was worth everything.

00:55:26.835 --> 00:55:27.376
Go ahead.

00:55:27.376 --> 00:55:43.648
So now, because I want to say we saw that was the part in, and where we are now and where we're going to be, I've kind of resolved in my heart that I just want to stick to the plan that God has given me.

00:55:43.648 --> 00:55:56.528
And it may sound, cop out maybe, and that's OK, but whatever, whatever that, wherever God leads us, whatever that looks like, I know.

00:55:56.528 --> 00:56:08.586
So my new, my new YouTube mentor is Myron Golden, and my focus is more on the, on the input.

00:56:08.586 --> 00:56:17.065
If I focus a lot on the input, whatever the output will be, it'll be, but I want to focus on more on what we're doing.

00:56:17.175 --> 00:56:23.126
So what the bankruptcy did was made us have the discipline to stick to the spending plan.

00:56:23.126 --> 00:56:25.599
That we already had the input, yeah, right.

00:56:25.599 --> 00:56:27.706
So we knew what the spending plan was.

00:56:27.706 --> 00:56:31.766
Yeah, we would get out, we wouldn't, we wouldn't, we wouldn't stay disciplined.

00:56:31.766 --> 00:56:40.786
But that made us say, ok, we can't do it like, right now, I'm my spending plan, the part that's for me to splurge, I'm out.

00:56:40.786 --> 00:56:43.954
So I like I'm done for the month.

00:56:43.954 --> 00:56:44.815
You know what I'm saying.

00:56:44.815 --> 00:56:47.503
So I'm like, well, baby, let's go get.

00:56:47.503 --> 00:56:48.123
Okay, wait a minute.

00:56:48.123 --> 00:56:51.018
I can't go like, no, we're gonna go home, it's gross at the house.

00:56:51.018 --> 00:56:55.307
I'm gonna cook the chicken rather than go buy some you know chicken, the Christian chicken.

00:56:55.876 --> 00:56:56.617
We don't go home.

00:56:56.617 --> 00:56:58.643
No, no, no, no.

00:56:58.643 --> 00:57:02.199
I'm just agreeing with you, I yeah.

00:57:07.128 --> 00:57:13.364
Come on, and I say that because many people Can we call you on your podcast.

00:57:13.364 --> 00:57:15.387
And I say that because many people Can we call your R&R podcast.

00:57:15.427 --> 00:57:16.088
Yeah, she said she's R&R.

00:57:16.088 --> 00:57:29.092
Okay, many people cannot ask those questions, but I believe that you know how to make Patrick and I dig deeper if you feel that we're not digging deeper.

00:57:29.797 --> 00:57:30.784
No, y'all are hitting.

00:57:30.784 --> 00:57:38.755
I want to know what made you all, especially during the bankruptcy period.

00:57:38.755 --> 00:57:39.739
I remember that.

00:57:39.739 --> 00:57:56.739
I remember when you sat across the table from me and told me and you and I remember I think that was probably the one of the first times that that I knew how close we were, because I was like that's not something you just tell people, and you were just very honest about that and I was like yo, like this is.

00:57:56.739 --> 00:57:58.463
You hold this with delicacy.

00:57:58.463 --> 00:58:00.851
You know, like this is, there's something serious.

00:58:00.851 --> 00:58:07.007
And I was honored to be able to walk with you through that right and just be there in the moments.

00:58:07.007 --> 00:58:09.458
I'm able to be there and hear and listen and all that stuff.

00:58:09.458 --> 00:58:17.369
And what I want to know is I'm just gonna keep going back to this because I think this is important for people to hear.

00:58:17.369 --> 00:58:28.987
You're saying all these things and you all decided to build something and you decided to keep going, even though you had to file bankruptcy.

00:58:29.894 --> 00:58:34.547
Y'all are brilliant, credentialed, amazing, skilled people.

00:58:34.547 --> 00:58:36.481
You could go work for somebody and get paid.

00:58:36.481 --> 00:58:38.400
Why would you?

00:58:38.400 --> 00:58:39.699
Why didn't you do?

00:58:39.699 --> 00:58:40.603
Why did not?

00:58:40.603 --> 00:58:46.541
Why did you choose to continue to go down this road as opposed to go grab a check.

00:58:46.541 --> 00:58:52.603
And again I want to stress, you all are five percenters.

00:58:52.603 --> 00:59:01.447
Not those five percenters but the five percenters, not those five percenters, but the five percenters.

00:59:01.447 --> 00:59:04.398
In the world of business, man, like that's wild.

00:59:04.398 --> 00:59:06.422
What?

00:59:06.422 --> 00:59:08.568
What has made y'all keep going?

00:59:08.568 --> 00:59:10.740
Because I think people need to understand.

00:59:12.003 --> 00:59:13.206
You talk about 10 years.

00:59:13.206 --> 00:59:18.317
So I think you said you, it took 10 years for y'all to believe in yourself.

00:59:18.317 --> 00:59:26.445
You kind of rolling off of what other people saying and how other people are believing in you, but you, at least for you, it took.

00:59:26.445 --> 00:59:27.630
It took you to about now.

00:59:27.630 --> 00:59:31.159
It's about 10 years, maybe longer than that, to really know we got this.

00:59:31.159 --> 00:59:41.230
You, for whatever reason, have stayed in this game long enough to get to a place where now you feel like now you feel like the tipping point is happening.

00:59:41.230 --> 00:59:57.635
But all the time you've been through bankruptcy, you've been through buses, you've been through you know you've been through all of this stuff and way more than I know you're not saying and you don't need to I will, if you want me to, because I I will say I'm not gonna stop, but you don't have to.

00:59:57.675 --> 00:59:58.697
But I want to know why.

00:59:58.697 --> 01:00:00.001
Why like?

01:00:00.001 --> 01:00:01.063
Why not just go get a job?

01:00:04.230 --> 01:00:29.637
um, I, I, I will say that there was a pivot where I still maintained my um male career and I did come under another entity's umbrella right another corporation but there was again, due to, uh, the building that we were in, that we were working from it.

01:00:29.637 --> 01:00:39.275
It's an outside developer bought, bought it, and I was trying to find a place, a reliable, stable place, to still be able to accommodate my clients.

01:00:39.275 --> 01:00:45.360
So that actually pushed me into an entity for about three or four years.

01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:55.789
That little that I know was going to sustain me and even open up my brain to what working from a place of surplus and abundance looked like.

01:00:55.789 --> 01:01:10.846
Then, when it came back for that to close, then I was able to come back and then now it's take off Like all I know is abundance or surplus, and it's like I don't ever want to taste poverty again.

01:01:10.846 --> 01:01:15.489
Or, you know, I'm praying for enough product to be in a nail model again.

01:01:15.489 --> 01:01:19.139
It's like, no, we order three and four, we order a lot more.

01:01:19.139 --> 01:01:38.791
So, um, but I would say what kept me going is that I just knew that this was where I was supposed to be and I, I knew that, um, I, just I, I hope I'm digging deep enough.

01:01:38.791 --> 01:01:40.077
I'm pretty sure I could.

01:01:40.077 --> 01:01:42.646
It's not a therapy session, it's podcast.

01:01:43.295 --> 01:01:48.407
But I would say that for the first time, I actually like being in this place.

01:01:48.407 --> 01:01:58.465
I actually like and I enjoyed the privilege of being able to work with the man of my dreams, like why wouldn't I make it work, you know?

01:01:58.465 --> 01:02:09.643
And again, it has brought me closer to the Lord, to the point where, like when I pray the Lord's prayer, when they part with, say, give us this day.

01:02:09.643 --> 01:02:37.644
He has taught me what it means to live in this day and thanking him for the daily bread for today, versus trusting in this construct, this systematic construct that is provided for me, like, not taken away from anyone who does that, because I do believe that the Lord will show up in those spaces too, but for my faith, this is where he has called me to believe him.

01:02:37.644 --> 01:02:47.336
And it's been wonderful, it's been scary, it's been times where we just closed our eyes and like, oh God, you're going to have to come through.

01:02:47.737 --> 01:02:54.161
And I say that RA, to say, like Patrick and I didn't have help from family, we were the laughing stock.

01:02:54.161 --> 01:02:55.746
Can I even go back a little deeper?

01:02:55.746 --> 01:03:01.614
We were the laughing stock of the community because we were young parents.

01:03:01.614 --> 01:03:08.940
They would laugh at us about having all these children and wouldn't invite us because it's too many mouths to feed.

01:03:08.940 --> 01:03:23.282
It was just a lot, but little did I know that that was preparing us to keep us so tight that now that they're the children growing up, we got two out of state I mean the children doing that thing, and guess what?

01:03:23.282 --> 01:03:24.565
They turn them back to bless us.

01:03:24.565 --> 01:03:43.425
We still enjoy life together, but if it wasn't for those, you know, being boxed out, it would have made us not, I think, not be as determined and again, moving from desperation to inspiration, to say oh, this is good living, look, okay.

01:03:43.425 --> 01:03:47.817
Well, okay, lord, if this is the plan, this is the plan, I want to experience it.

01:03:49.338 --> 01:03:53.023
For me it's about purpose.

01:03:53.023 --> 01:03:57.827
I just felt like this was the purpose for us.

01:03:57.827 --> 01:03:59.110
That's one thing.

01:03:59.110 --> 01:04:00.851
I'm going to go back.

01:04:00.994 --> 01:04:13.809
The other thing was I despise somebody telling me I can't go see my daughter in her recital or go see my son do this.

01:04:13.809 --> 01:04:26.543
And so when I worked for corporate America one day, I was trying to take off for my, for our anniversary, and my manager told me you can't take off for your anniversary.

01:04:26.543 --> 01:04:28.427
I'm like, no, it's not.

01:04:28.427 --> 01:04:31.625
I'm saying it's our anniversary this weekend, so I need to get that.

01:04:31.625 --> 01:04:33.096
It was within this weekend, it was.

01:04:33.096 --> 01:04:33.396
It was.

01:04:33.396 --> 01:04:43.025
It was a little bit further ahead, there was maybe a month ahead, and I said, now that's our weekend, but there's too many people out, so you can't take off for your anniversary.

01:04:43.025 --> 01:04:48.949
And I'm like but I love my wife and that's our weekend to go, and that I hate it.

01:04:49.170 --> 01:04:50.692
One time I couldn't see my daughter.

01:04:50.692 --> 01:04:55.280
My daughter, it was a first, something I had to do.

01:04:55.280 --> 01:04:56.123
All of the first.

01:04:56.123 --> 01:04:58.882
If it's a first, I'll have to be there.

01:04:58.882 --> 01:05:00.635
Maybe a second, okay, but the first.

01:05:00.635 --> 01:05:17.309
And I couldn't make the first because I was working for this corporate company and I hated that feeling and so I said I'll never, I'll never allow anybody to have that type of hold on me ever again.

01:05:17.309 --> 01:05:24.989
So that feeling that I had, I never want to experience that feeling again.

01:05:25.697 --> 01:05:28.121
So then, you have Disgust probably Right.

01:05:28.215 --> 01:05:28.976
Then you have.

01:05:28.976 --> 01:05:34.447
I just felt like this is, at this moment, this is what God wanted us to do.

01:05:34.447 --> 01:05:37.443
And Shemekia would ask me sometimes, do you think you should give?

01:05:37.443 --> 01:06:08.697
I'm like, no, let's just, let's just dig in, let's just keep doing what we know we're supposed to do, Because I'm seeing people successful at whatever that what they're doing, and I've heard the stories and I've heard the testament of the other testimonies of how people was going to quit but they didn't quit and for some reason they kept going and kept doing the thing they needed to do and it stuck out and they survived and got past and things began to roll around, began to work out for them.

01:06:08.697 --> 01:06:11.920
So for me, again, it was this pain.

01:06:11.920 --> 01:06:12.961
That's good.

01:06:12.961 --> 01:06:14.003
I'm preaching that.

01:06:14.003 --> 01:06:15.103
It was this pain.

01:06:15.103 --> 01:06:15.364
That's good.

01:06:15.364 --> 01:06:21.030
I'm preaching that it was the pain and the pain that I felt and the purpose I knew God had.

01:06:47.956 --> 01:06:51.050
And I married those two and I kept the drive, I kept the drive, and you know just understanding what it takes to get to 10 years is.

01:06:51.070 --> 01:06:52.034
It is a long time and also not long at all.

01:06:52.034 --> 01:07:13.088
Right, right, but in the world of trying to sustain an idea, something that started off in your head and you are living it out every day and trying to make sure it stays alive every day, it can feel like forever.

01:07:13.088 --> 01:07:19.041
But then, to your point, it gets to a point where it's like, oh, there's another gear, like I didn't even realize.

01:07:19.061 --> 01:07:20.364
Another gear, yeah, yeah.

01:07:20.686 --> 01:07:21.507
And I don't know.

01:07:21.507 --> 01:07:39.659
I felt that when you know Shemekia, when you were saying 10 years, and I feel like I get it now and I feel like even for Angel Street it took us 10 years to get it, like I remember my father recently got a grant that was, that was substantial, that we, you know, really grateful for.

01:07:39.659 --> 01:07:40.862
And he asked me.

01:07:40.862 --> 01:07:43.047
He said he didn't ask me, he told me.

01:07:43.047 --> 01:07:52.545
He said now I want you to start thinking from a place of abundance and how that feels, not from a place of survival like.

01:07:52.545 --> 01:07:53.769
Think from a place of abundance.

01:07:53.769 --> 01:08:05.802
And ever since he's, ever since he's, ever since he said that, um, literally that has been the only way I've been thinking, and not that I want you to speak to the mindset here a little bit, and what mindset will do.

01:08:06.643 --> 01:08:14.784
Um, I've been thinking only about what ha like, what happens when we get to.

01:08:14.784 --> 01:08:17.210
I'm preparing for the growth.

01:08:17.210 --> 01:08:20.104
I'm not really thinking about much else.

01:08:20.104 --> 01:08:24.694
I'm not thinking about how we get to the next, you know, in the next three months.

01:08:24.694 --> 01:08:32.600
I'm thinking three to five years almost daily and I'm seeing opportunities come to put us in that position.

01:08:32.600 --> 01:08:36.625
Come, I think, because my mind is there.

01:08:36.625 --> 01:08:58.293
I see more of how to get there right and I can move on a regular basis, on a day-to-day basis, to say all right, so what I'm thinking about, what I'm thinking about, whatever I'm thinking about with Angel Street, I'm not thinking about tomorrow, I ain't thinking about next week, I'm thinking about whatever I'm thinking about Angel Street, I'm not thinking about tomorrow, I ain't thinking about next week.

01:08:58.314 --> 01:09:00.661
I'm just Cause that's not my business, yeah.

01:09:00.701 --> 01:09:02.045
You know what I'm saying, like that's why.

01:09:02.045 --> 01:09:05.360
But you have to be, you have to.

01:09:05.360 --> 01:09:18.917
There is a, there's a beauty and understanding, and what's your, what's your abundance tipping point, if you will, and then Hold on, hold on, all right, say it over again.

01:09:18.917 --> 01:09:23.268
You said you're not thinking about today, you're not thinking about tomorrow, think about 2026, 2027.

01:09:23.287 --> 01:09:23.387
Right.

01:09:23.408 --> 01:09:44.009
Um, and it's like when you get to the abundance tipping point, whatever that means for us, it was a grant, it was like this gives us room to now really think ahead and for y'all you know, whatever that might be what I want, like, what has that mindset?

01:09:44.009 --> 01:09:46.903
What are you, what are you thinking about now?

01:09:46.903 --> 01:09:49.277
What, where, where, where's your mind now?

01:09:51.939 --> 01:09:56.284
Yeah, so for me, because it was part of the message.

01:09:56.284 --> 01:10:10.981
But it was before that that I was teaching and I was saying we are accepted in God, so we're not, we don't have to, we don't have to do works to be accepted, we're already accepted.

01:10:10.981 --> 01:10:18.494
So now we work from a place of being accepted rather than working for acceptance or approval.

01:10:18.494 --> 01:10:20.944
So for me it's the same way.

01:10:20.944 --> 01:10:30.744
We're at this point now where I know it's working and I'm seeing the beginning of the fruit.

01:10:30.744 --> 01:10:34.032
There's at least one cucumber out there.

01:10:34.032 --> 01:10:34.753
You know what I'm saying.

01:10:34.753 --> 01:10:35.921
We're planting the garden.

01:10:35.921 --> 01:10:38.466
There's only one cucumber, but there is a cucumber there.

01:10:38.466 --> 01:10:39.769
You know what I'm saying.

01:10:39.769 --> 01:10:41.511
We're planting the garden.

01:10:41.511 --> 01:10:43.555
There's only one cucumber, but there is a cucumber there.

01:10:43.555 --> 01:10:45.760
And so for me, I see that and it's pushing me more that I am.

01:10:46.823 --> 01:10:55.025
I just asked myself for the next three years.

01:10:55.025 --> 01:11:03.884
So for me it's how do I, how do we survive as a coaching business for the next three years?

01:11:03.884 --> 01:11:09.242
So I want to, I want to go forward and figure out what that is for the next three years.

01:11:09.242 --> 01:11:19.055
So I haven't detailed what we should do for the next three years, but I know that's a question that I have asked.

01:11:19.055 --> 01:11:28.108
My philosophy is a good plan will ask the questions who, what, when, where, why and how.

01:11:28.108 --> 01:11:37.710
And the how part of the plan is where you get really detailed on how to survive for the next.

01:11:37.710 --> 01:11:40.164
So I would say, thrive.

01:11:40.164 --> 01:11:44.042
How to thrive for the next, for the next few years, I was asking.

01:11:44.063 --> 01:11:45.809
I asked Chad, what are the?

01:11:45.809 --> 01:11:51.314
You know, what are the next 10 businesses that will survive going forward?

01:11:51.314 --> 01:11:57.113
And and coaching and marriage coaching was top, was really in the top four.

01:11:57.113 --> 01:12:02.703
Coaching and marriage coaching was top, was really in the top four.

01:12:02.703 --> 01:12:03.145
Uh, so that's okay.

01:12:03.145 --> 01:12:03.265
Now.

01:12:03.265 --> 01:12:04.710
Now I have to ask how do we go about doing that?

01:12:04.710 --> 01:12:06.917
And uh, so I haven't really.

01:12:06.917 --> 01:12:10.591
So to your answer, your question, I know what I want the next three to five years.

01:12:10.591 --> 01:12:11.734
How does that work?

01:12:11.734 --> 01:12:12.557
I don't know.

01:12:12.557 --> 01:12:28.699
I know we got three years to transition shamika from the nail to just strictly coaching, and so that's where the three years come in, and we're going to keep a few of y'all around anyway we're an hour in Shamika, don't be long.

01:12:29.612 --> 01:12:31.712
Wait a minute, coach.

01:12:31.712 --> 01:12:32.539
Wait a minute.

01:12:32.539 --> 01:12:35.430
You said something, ra.

01:12:35.430 --> 01:12:54.146
It's like it's one thing to get it, it's another thing to want it, and I believe that we, all three of us, are finally at a place of wanting it like I want the abundance and I don't want the abundance now to flex.

01:12:54.146 --> 01:12:57.560
Now, y'all know, because I didn't share some stuff with y'all, y'all know I was done, shared some stuff with y'all.

01:12:57.560 --> 01:13:03.569
Y'all know I was one that wanted to flex on the one I wanted to pull up in a Range Rover in my red bottom shoes.

01:13:03.569 --> 01:13:07.291
Come on, I wanted the Rolex watch and the diamond stud earrings.

01:13:07.291 --> 01:13:07.993
I did.

01:13:07.993 --> 01:13:08.775
You know what I mean.

01:13:08.775 --> 01:13:16.634
I did want that, but it's not to say that I cannot have it but that's not the main agenda.

01:13:16.634 --> 01:13:22.542
Say that I cannot have it, but that's not the main agenda.

01:13:22.561 --> 01:13:23.623
We really want to help individuals grow and develop.

01:13:23.623 --> 01:13:34.105
We really want to help couples to experience good success, even if it's as thousandaires or millionaires Can we take it?

01:13:34.105 --> 01:13:41.408
Upaires, whatever that look like like, you really can have it if that's what you really want.

01:13:41.408 --> 01:13:51.639
And so, going to what you were saying as far as the mindset, once your mindset get it, then you're gonna figure out because why I want it and what we do.

01:13:51.639 --> 01:13:52.921
Go after what we want.

01:13:52.921 --> 01:14:06.547
I don't know if y'all ever been hungry before or ever craved anything, but when you crave and desire something, nothing else will satisfy that, only that which you want, and that's it.

01:14:06.547 --> 01:14:08.045
So we want it.

01:14:08.740 --> 01:14:21.168
We had gone out, me and Ty, and we were picking up Tyson, and before we got there I was like golly, I want some Dixie Queen fries with extra seasoning.

01:14:21.168 --> 01:14:33.460
It wasn't, I didn't want fries, I wanted Dixie Queen fries and so we went to the first Dixie Queen who said something about they, they on shift change.

01:14:33.460 --> 01:14:35.127
That's what the devil is that what?

01:14:37.086 --> 01:14:38.189
what does that have to do with me?

01:14:39.009 --> 01:14:41.546
I get to stay up and take my order on shift change.

01:14:41.546 --> 01:14:43.268
Well, change shifts and take my order.

01:14:43.268 --> 01:14:44.998
I don't understand.

01:14:44.998 --> 01:14:47.023
And so I was like they can't do it.

01:14:47.023 --> 01:14:50.244
I was like because I wanted to be like, so what, really?

01:14:50.244 --> 01:14:54.765
Because I was like, so can I like how long until I can order?

01:14:54.765 --> 01:14:56.248
And he said let's just go like.

01:14:56.248 --> 01:14:56.710
So I went.

01:14:56.869 --> 01:14:59.414
So we went to the next one and we went up to the.

01:14:59.414 --> 01:15:01.498
Uh, we, the line was kind of long.

01:15:01.498 --> 01:15:02.220
So we went up to the window.

01:15:02.220 --> 01:15:05.451
They said, well, uh, services window, services closed.

01:15:05.451 --> 01:15:06.533
Oh fine.

01:15:06.533 --> 01:15:08.500
So he was like we'll just go to water burger.

01:15:08.500 --> 01:15:13.411
I said I don't want water burger, I don't want that, I want dixie queen.

01:15:13.411 --> 01:15:16.043
So we went in the line, we got this queen, because what I wanted.

01:15:16.043 --> 01:15:20.233
So, to your point, you're going to go after what you want.

01:15:20.233 --> 01:15:20.800
You know what I'm saying.

01:15:20.800 --> 01:15:28.378
Even if it's late to pick up your son from your mama house because you stayed in the line too long to get fries with extra seasoning, you don't do that.

01:15:28.378 --> 01:15:29.382
You know what I'm saying.

01:15:29.382 --> 01:15:30.448
That's important.

01:15:30.448 --> 01:15:37.000
And so, anyway, I just wanted to share that.

01:15:42.381 --> 01:15:43.445
For me, though, jameika I like I.

01:15:43.445 --> 01:15:55.524
I understand her heart and where she's being, and I think that's probably one of the or the intersections of our desire, because I've never desired to be, I've never here's.

01:15:55.524 --> 01:15:57.307
Here's why I'm an only child.

01:15:57.307 --> 01:16:00.131
I've always gotten the things.

01:16:00.131 --> 01:16:04.725
I was the only one with the boom box, I was the only one with the Atari.

01:16:04.725 --> 01:16:07.912
So she didn't grow up that way.

01:16:07.912 --> 01:16:09.921
I had mom and dad at the house.

01:16:09.921 --> 01:16:12.426
You know I'm saying so like I.

01:16:12.426 --> 01:16:14.569
I never want to have.

01:16:15.671 --> 01:16:18.034
I don't care about a Range Rover, I don't care about a rear bottom.

01:16:18.034 --> 01:16:19.034
I'm not saying I don't like them, I don't care about a Range Rover, I don't care about a rear bottom.

01:16:19.034 --> 01:16:21.399
I'm not saying I don't like them, but I don't really care about it.

01:16:21.399 --> 01:16:31.618
I want to be the person that nobody knows has the money, but I'm behind the scenes doing things for people without them even knowing.

01:16:31.618 --> 01:16:32.579
You feel what I'm saying.

01:16:32.579 --> 01:16:38.662
But now, when Shemika was talking, I realized, oh, I see why she feels that way and that's a valid.

01:16:38.662 --> 01:16:40.045
That's a valid.

01:16:40.045 --> 01:16:44.073
I mean, her reasoning for wanting to do that is valid.

01:16:44.073 --> 01:16:46.324
And I used to be like go ahead.

01:16:46.324 --> 01:16:50.681
I used to be like, no, baby, don't want to, but I understand.

01:16:50.681 --> 01:17:03.353
I understand why now, and I understand why my heart was not so on that and why hers was because we grew up in two different types of households.

01:17:03.353 --> 01:17:04.193
Yeah, yeah.

01:17:04.913 --> 01:17:08.636
And I will say I'm not saying that I don't want those things.

01:17:08.636 --> 01:17:11.908
What I'm saying is those things don't matter.

01:17:11.908 --> 01:17:16.751
They're like at the bottom of the list now, when at first it was at the top with the theme song.

01:17:16.751 --> 01:17:20.981
I mean I wanted it all.

01:17:20.981 --> 01:17:21.804
You hear me, theme song.

01:17:21.804 --> 01:17:22.805
I mean I wanted it all.

01:17:22.805 --> 01:17:24.048
You hear me, I wanted the world to stop.

01:17:24.048 --> 01:17:24.449
Do you hear me?

01:17:24.449 --> 01:17:24.930
I want it at all.

01:17:24.930 --> 01:17:28.140
But now it's like I don't want, like why, what?

01:17:28.140 --> 01:17:29.603
What is that song gonna do for you?

01:17:29.603 --> 01:17:29.884
What is?

01:17:29.884 --> 01:17:30.706
What is this range of?

01:17:30.706 --> 01:17:40.493
If I won't pick up somebody, you know, if I won't help somebody with the range rover, if I'm thinking I'm so such a much you know anybody want to do business with you, girl.

01:17:40.493 --> 01:17:41.194
Like, stop it.

01:17:41.194 --> 01:17:53.760
So now, if in doing the business I do end up acquiring my fries with the extra seasoning, then what you're going to do is let me enjoy my set of fries with this extra seasoning.

01:17:54.140 --> 01:17:55.122
That's good, that's good.

01:17:55.162 --> 01:17:56.546
That's good, y'all listen.

01:17:56.546 --> 01:18:04.627
I just want to say I really believe that y'all story will interview people.

01:18:04.627 --> 01:18:05.850
I say we.

01:18:05.850 --> 01:18:11.270
I don't hear entrepreneurs such as yourself being interviewed.

01:18:11.270 --> 01:18:14.007
Enough because I'm going to go back.

01:18:14.007 --> 01:18:14.670
I can't get over this.

01:18:14.670 --> 01:18:16.025
I don't know why I'm going to go back.

01:18:16.860 --> 01:18:18.466
You've been in business for more than 10 years.

01:18:18.466 --> 01:18:21.886
85% fail in the first year.

01:18:21.886 --> 01:18:22.769
That's what you said, pat.

01:18:22.769 --> 01:18:26.127
If it's wrong, it's him, it ain't me.

01:18:26.127 --> 01:18:30.747
85% fail in the first year and then another 10% in the second year.

01:18:30.747 --> 01:18:37.234
I'm sorry, thank you, but in the first five years, you all have surpassed five years.

01:18:37.234 --> 01:18:38.680
Therefore, that means you're in the five percent.

01:18:38.680 --> 01:18:42.768
So, and still you are.

01:18:42.768 --> 01:18:50.912
Still have these, these benchmarks, these these things that you're trying to get to and I think, for the audience, what the you know?

01:18:50.912 --> 01:18:52.958
Um, no, how about this?

01:18:52.958 --> 01:19:20.703
I'm gonna ask y'all, based on your experience as entrepreneurs, just from each one, just to round out the conversation, what's one thing you would want young leaders who are maybe interested in being an entrepreneur or who are building something made within a context, maybe within a company, within a, within an organization or whatever, starting something new within an organization or whatever, starting something new.

01:19:20.703 --> 01:19:21.163
What are the things?

01:19:21.163 --> 01:19:25.292
What is one thing that you would encourage them to unlearn immediately in order to remain on the journey.

01:19:28.621 --> 01:19:31.484
That it's not about doing, it's about being.

01:19:31.484 --> 01:19:35.109
It's not about doing, it's about being.

01:19:35.109 --> 01:19:43.728
Work from a place of who you are I think patrick says it so much and so often and that's working from a place of purpose.

01:19:43.728 --> 01:19:48.805
And when you know who you be, then you know what to do that's good.

01:19:50.328 --> 01:19:55.882
uh, for me is focus on helping people fine.

01:19:55.882 --> 01:20:09.081
I think that's part of the thing that helped us is that we began to focus more on who can we help, rather than how much money can we make, and I've heard a lot of the successful people who said that turned around for them.

01:20:09.081 --> 01:20:17.000
And it actually turned around for us, cause when you focus cause there are going to be times where the business doesn't work Can you still reach out and help the people, though you know what I'm saying.

01:20:17.000 --> 01:20:18.625
It was not working the way you want it to.

01:20:18.625 --> 01:20:27.984
Okay, then if that's the case and you start focusing on the money, then you've lost focus of the purpose as the reason why you started the business in the first place.

01:20:27.984 --> 01:20:40.405
So for me, it's just stay focused on how many people can I help quickly, and I think, I think it'll work out by being who God, by being who you are called to be.

01:20:41.469 --> 01:20:49.524
Once you have those things established, then the doing is just going to roll out Like you're going to wake up and show up.

01:20:49.524 --> 01:20:50.467
You're going to stay up late.

01:20:50.467 --> 01:20:56.024
You'll see opportunities to be able to serve and to do the work.

01:20:56.024 --> 01:20:57.449
You say shwake up.

01:20:59.319 --> 01:21:01.364
I probably did hey listen.

01:21:01.364 --> 01:21:02.748
We can try it.

01:21:06.039 --> 01:21:07.622
Look, shwake up is staying woke while sleeping.

01:21:07.622 --> 01:21:08.826
Y'all don't know nothing about that.

01:21:08.865 --> 01:21:10.710
We're going to end on that note.

01:21:10.710 --> 01:21:15.042
Yeah, that's it, it's over Y'all.

01:21:15.042 --> 01:21:15.826
Thank y'all so much.

01:21:22.260 --> 01:21:22.942
Thank y'all manall so much for uh.

01:21:22.942 --> 01:21:24.527
Thank y'all man, this was great this, thank you, thank you.

01:21:24.546 --> 01:21:40.028
I don't mean that like I wish we heard more of stories like y'all's in the season you are, because this at the, the reality is most people who venture off into doing something on their own or building something, like you all have.

01:21:40.028 --> 01:21:46.810
We'll have more of what you have experienced, what the social media world talks about.

01:21:49.323 --> 01:21:57.372
And we'll have a different, we'll have to accept a different version of success based on their values.

01:21:57.372 --> 01:22:00.332
That is often not, often not.

01:22:00.332 --> 01:22:08.783
That, that's, that's not represented in that kind of YouTube social media story that we are, that we all see.

01:22:08.783 --> 01:22:11.250
And it's not to say those stories are bad.

01:22:11.250 --> 01:22:12.467
They're just so rare.

01:22:12.467 --> 01:22:16.801
They're beautiful, but they're so rare and it's like I don't get that I'm not successful and that's just not true.

01:22:16.801 --> 01:22:20.143
And I think you all are beautiful examples of that.

01:22:20.603 --> 01:22:30.970
You are two of the most successful to be able to sustain and grow and now get to a place where you believe that, not believe where you will thrive in this next 10 years.

01:22:30.970 --> 01:22:36.135
That is, that is, that's as successful as you can get.

01:22:36.135 --> 01:22:38.938
Like you, all you're going to do is put icing on the cake at this point.

01:22:38.938 --> 01:22:51.304
So I, I just I'm glad that we have in this conversation, thank you all for being vulnerable and transparent as always, like for real, and I'm not going to be editing this, so there's not.

01:22:51.304 --> 01:22:53.300
You get to say is don't, everything will be enough.

01:22:53.300 --> 01:22:54.304
It is what it is.

01:22:54.304 --> 01:22:56.296
You know I'm saying you don't set it, so I just, I just play.

01:22:56.296 --> 01:22:56.689
It ain't gonna be enough, it is what it is.

01:22:56.689 --> 01:22:57.063
You know I'm saying you done, said it.

01:22:57.063 --> 01:22:57.921
So no, I'm just playing.

01:22:57.921 --> 01:23:11.328
I'm just playing, but um, but yeah, I just want to say thank you and talk to us about how people can find you and interact with you and all that jazz okay.

01:23:11.368 --> 01:23:17.295
So, uh, instagram is his wife at his wife, her husband 97.

01:23:17.295 --> 01:23:22.447
On X it's HW HH 97.

01:23:22.447 --> 01:23:26.895
And YouTube is his wife.

01:23:26.895 --> 01:23:37.100
So if you're searching in YouTube, you do, his wife is one word, her husband is one word and it should pull us up and then you can follow us that way, and so yeah.

01:23:38.020 --> 01:23:41.884
And, and, by all means, now somebody may be listening and then you can follow us that way.

01:23:41.884 --> 01:23:46.087
And so, yeah, and by all means, now somebody may be listening and they just want to send an email.

01:23:46.087 --> 01:23:57.155
They probably don't do any socials at all and I promise I get that so there will be his wife, her husband, 97 at gmailcom Also, and we really, we really do respond to the email.

01:23:57.235 --> 01:24:01.103
It's not a robot, not a shameless plug.

01:24:01.103 --> 01:24:11.130
If anybody's looking for marriage and life coaching from us, you can book your discovery call at wwwhiswifeherhusbandnet.

01:24:11.130 --> 01:24:13.690
Wwwhiswifeherhusbandnet.

01:24:13.690 --> 01:24:16.505
Wwwhiswifeherhusbandnet, and you can book your discovery call.

01:24:17.983 --> 01:24:18.184
Y'all.

01:24:18.184 --> 01:24:18.827
Look them up.

01:24:18.827 --> 01:24:20.747
These are people that truly can help you.

01:24:20.747 --> 01:24:21.561
I know it.

01:24:21.561 --> 01:24:25.543
They've been helping me and, man, I love y'all.

01:24:25.543 --> 01:24:26.707
Thanks for coming on the show.

01:24:26.707 --> 01:24:31.507
Alright, y'all, so we are done.

01:24:31.507 --> 01:24:40.128
Let's keep on learning together so that we can experience more freedom, and we will see y'all next week.

01:24:40.128 --> 01:24:47.828
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:24:47.828 --> 01:24:52.028
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:24:52.028 --> 01:24:58.747
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:24:58.747 --> 01:25:05.112
We're looking forward to the next time, when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:25:05.112 --> 01:25:06.033
See you then.